prittigrrr:

There are so many things I have learned on Nairaland. Unfortunately, not all have been good. I hate that when there are disagreements, especially when a woman is involved, the discussion turns to a list of insults about physical appearance. Cute and ugly have little to do with our day to day existence. Can we please stop this madness? Why all the venom toward a person we don't know and in all likelihood never meet? Why not build one another? We dont have to agree but let us desist from tearing each other down.

No2Atheism:

@Jade Goody, do you have to be so mean, at least have a little courtesy. You don't have to start attacking her for how she has been created.

Infact she just told you she lost 30pounds (a sign of someone that is self conscious) so for goodness sake abeg stop all the abuse.
Geeez i really don't understand why some people keep making personal attacks under the cover of anonymity,

Moonstone:

IyaKadijat, don't listen to Jade Goody. You should know how to turn blind eyes to certain people. If Jade has a problem with you, he/she should file a complaint with God and let God do what he wants to do.

As for your problem, I think you're a strong woman and you should utilize your strength more in communicating with your ex. He's playing games that you're too old to be playing. It hurts to know that the man you love is with another woman but I think you need to start numbing yourself to his effects. He has made his choice, let him live with it. Let him be as jealous as he wants. There's a way for you to reply to him and make him know that you're doing fine without him. I know you have invested time and effort on him and trust me, things like that always have a way of getting repaid. You are definitely going to get your reward for your good deeds. There's a method I use in dealing with guys I don't want to have anything with anymore and that is to act nonchalant. After sometime of acting that way, your nonchalance becomes more real and then they get the message.
Stop thinking of him as your man. Think of him as your baby daddy and that's it. Even if you believe he's the father of your child, he's treating you like his baby mama. I think he deserves an equal treatment.
I have also been reading what amebo and CH2-whatever have been writing. They are telling you the truth point blank and while they may seem harsh, you should probably listen to them a bit.

IyaKadijat:

C2H5OH is cool-he or she does not mince words, but has given me some sound advice that I've taken to heart. Amebo is just plain mean and even in the other thread people started asking him/her why he/she was spitting venom at me as if I did something to him/her personally, so I'm starting to learn to ignore amebo.

Uhmm, I am moving on from baby daddy-I don't want him and I think because I have begun to show indifference or nonchalance towards him is the reason he's becoming even more jealous/enraged. He's used to me picking up the phone whenever he calls-now he has to leave a message most of the time. He's used to me asking about how his day was-now I just talk to him about pertinent things about our daughter. And he for sure isn't used to me being with another man which is why he showed up at my house at 4am and he tried to give me the third degree when I went on that date.

He could suck an egg for all I care-I'm having fun with my life right now and I won't let him steal away my joy. Amen.

Moonstone:

I like CH2H5OH - he's one of my young pupils. He's learning well.

That is very good then. The challenge is sticking to it and I hope you'll be able to do so without relapsing again. He better face his wife and 2 children instead of looking at the good relationship he threw away.

IyaKadijat:

Well here's an update everyone has been waiting for-as of yesterday-I'm NOT pregnant(got my monthly 'friend')- THANK THE LORD. Baby daddy knew it was a possibilty that I might've been pregnant so I called to tell him I wasn't. You know what he had the nerve to say to me?

"Aww. Well there's always next month, o!"

ThiefOfHearts:

Dont people lose weight during breastfeeding. It's one of the reasosn why women even breastfeed sef. Some do it longer than they should just to keep losing weight. abi?  

ThiefOfHearts:

Why even call him? You're not pregnant thus it's none of his business. Seriously stop looking for reasons to call him.

He sounds gross.

ThiefOfHearts:

Lol what a lunatic.

I probably would have said "No, cos I flushed it" then dropped the phone. Then again I cabn be malicious so whatever.

IyaKadijat:

LOL! You aint right! Speaking of the devil-that was him who called me just now. He was begging me to braid his oldest daughter hair(I told him I'd do it for some money-nothing is free anymore, abi?).

That was another thing I forgot to tell you guys. His wife doesn't know how to braid hair-what kind of African woman doesn't know how to braid? Like I said the whole thing is mind boggling to me-this is who he left me for? LOL!

ThiefOfHearts:

I know you dont like the situation but I dont think you should constantly look down on his wife cos of what he did to you. I dont braid hair either, I go to Harlem. Keep your anger towards the man, leave the wife out of it.

also I believe I said you should stop picking up his calls! This is why amebo believes you like the attention.

IyaKadijat:

I don't like his wife because(forgot to tell you guys this before) she was cool with us "sharing him". I kinda lost all respect for her after that. She called me her "wife" and hugged me and begged me to take it easy with him-maybe because she's Muslim she has a different mentality when it comes to these kind of things-I dunno.

follypimpi:

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[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]This dude is playing a Mind Game with you,as long as u keep picking the calls it will make it a heck of a difficult task for you to totally move on,like there's no salon where he cld tke his daughter to hve her hair braided,c'mon wake up.

4 Play:

I don't understand why but hearing all these stories from people whose partners are complete jerks drives me nuts.

I can't possibly fathom why people put up with all that. Is it for fear of being single? We are in the 21st century and this woman lives in the US for God's sake!

All these pathetic soft-hearted masochists make me sick. Give me one bloody reason the OP still has this man in his life.

IyaKadijat:

I don't like his wife because(forgot to tell you guys this before) she was cool with us "sharing him". I kinda lost all respect for her after that. She called me her "wife" and hugged me and begged me to take it easy with him-maybe because she's Muslim she has a different mentality when it comes to these kind of things-I dunno. Anyways, I don't always pick up his calls. In fact, the first 2 times he called me this morning I let it ring to the voicemail. When he kept calling, I finally picked up thinking it must be important, and he was just begging me to braid his daughter's hair.

IyaKadijat:

1 reason-he's the father of my child and he still has my child in his possession-at least until May 21st.

ThiefOfHearts:

what happened 4Play  

she's a muslim, she's raised to believe if her husband wants his "entitled" 4 ways, she will have to get cozy with the idea. Why would you be mad at her for that. You really dont know much about islam do you? Dont know why you bothered getting tangled with a Muslim dude when you really dont know how it works

stillwater:

This is sadly funny. Would you be a second wife if he asks you?

IyaKadijat:

He has asked me, and obviously, the answer was hell to the nah!

Ok. Point taken. That doesn't mean I have to understand it or even sympathize with it.

ThiefOfHearts:

yet you allowed yourself and your daughter to have naming ceramonies and Imams yada yada by this same faith. Or perhaps you thought it was like the Nation Of Islam. He doesnt have to discuss it with you. Only the first wife, which he did which is why she's cool with it.