probably was a Nigerian

SeanT21:

She will definately learn from your mistakes.

Where there any clues that pointed to the fact that he was a married man??

In all those 8 years there had to be a moment that made U think!!

I've gone over this before, but no-No clues at all. He took me everywhere, did everything with me. I had access to his bank accounts(still do), social security number, credit cards, talked to his kids, different family members on the phone in Nigeria, knew all his friends and friends wives. Visited his "Uncle's" house in another state, welcomed his stepbrother to stay with us in our home-the whole she-bang. Aside from being best friends with a member of the FBI, CIA, or someone at the US Embassy in NG, there's no way I could have found out.

ThiefOfHearts:

probably was a Nigerian

Actually she was American. She happened to be dating one of his friends and thought he was single so she decided to hook him up with me.

Hope that answered your question, folly.

IyaKadijat:

I've gone over this before, but no-No clues at all. He took me everywhere, did everything with me. I had access to his bank accounts(still do), social security number, credit cards, talked to his kids, different family members on the phone in Nigeria, knew all his friends and friends wives. Visited his "Uncle's" house in another state, welcomed his stepbrother to stay with us in our home-the whole she-bang. Aside from being best friends with a member of the FBI, CIA, or someone at the US Embassy in NG, there's no way I could have found out.

WOW~~He is such a good actor. Brad Pitt AINT GOT NOTHING ON THIS MAN!!

I am sorry for insulting U in my first post . There is a first time for everything.

lol has this friend learned from your mistake

SeanT21:

WOW~~He is such a good actor. Brad Pitt AINT GOT NOTHING ON THIS MAN!!

I am sorry for insulting U in my first post . There is a first time for everything.

It's ok-just like I said in the other thread-I know it's hard to fathom someone could be so damn evil besides the devil himself. But whatever-he'll get his. LOL! I said the same thing! Except I used Denzel, lol!

ThiefOfHearts:

lol has this friend learned from your mistake

She hasn't stopped apologizing yet, lol. I keep telling her it's not her fault-how was she to know? Anyway, I'm about to change the subject.

Where do you meet men in the South who don't have a mouth full of gold teeth and sagging pants with no belt? Don't say church, cuz they're all married.

where in the south

IyaKadijat:



She hasn't stopped apologizing yet, lol. I keep telling her it's not her fault-how was she to know? Anyway, I'm about to change the subject.

How is her own relationship going? not that she'd tell you the truth anyway

ThiefOfHearts:

where in the south

How is her own relationship going? not that she'd tell you the truth anyway

I'm in Atlanta now. I'd rather be single back in Brooklyn-at least I'd know what I was dealing with then.

She actually is married to an American man now. Her and my baby daddy's friend didn't make it past a year-he turned out to be a ho. That should have told me something, right? Birds of a feather.

what's with you and your friends having children with these people. At least yours is abit manageable. 8 years. why after 1 year does she have a kid with him

This whole baby mama business is really pathetic.

Wow, 8 years? There should have clues that he was married.

ThiefOfHearts:

what's with you and your friends having children with these people. At least yours is abit manageable. 8 years. why after 1 year does she have a kid with him

This whole baby mama business is really pathetic.

Uhmm something got lost in translation there. She didn't have a kid with him. They dated, they broke up-end of story.

follypimpi:


Exactly my POINT,he should have slipped @ some point.

You know, if he was married in this country, yes-there could have been clues. But he was married to a woman that lived 10,000 miles away that he apparently hardly ever spoke to. Unless I was a bablawos, how could I have known? lol!

what's up with _{some of} these multiple personality naija men sef.

This fellow obviously knows he built a life with this woman for 8 years. Same way he cheerfully built a life with the other one for 6 years.

do these guys even know the meaning of commitment? because their own definition of that word is too scary when they interpret it in reality.

Their own version of commitment means building a life together with some unsuspecting "mugu" while hiding your other "mugus" elsewhere either keeping them unaware of each other or letting them brainwash themselves into believing they're always more important than "the other women" who "culture" requires you to keep.

probably if she'd learnt the language she could have caught on to something much sooner.

follypimpi:


Didnt he get txt msg's on his phone on Vals day,Xmas,New Year sumfing that says from your wife and kids Or your kids are missing you so much.

Nope-he led me to believe that his kids were being raised by his mom-which was only partly true. His son was being raised by his mom while his daughter was being raised by his wife. The times I spoke to both the kids and his mom, sisters and brothers, were when the daughter was visiting her Grandma's house I know now.

He NEVER called her to the best of my knowledge(what kind of 'marriage' is that?)-especially on holidays-he has some kinda vendetta against holidays-I still don't know what that's about. The only holiday he was cool with was sala (I don't know if that's spelled correctly), and even then the kids were with his mom.

you'd be shocked the number of people that knew this man was playing her n of course kept mute. including the ones she is saying were family back at home, friends in the states and relations.

its a game baby no one will be the one to rat on him. in some cases the wife back at home knows esp when the man has no papers and d aim is to use a chick to enable the entire family come over. i know a couple like that in my church, he is with his family now abroad. They both paid for it in the process cos step kids are involved now at least they have permanent stay here.

tpiah:

probably if she'd learnt the language she could have caught on to something much sooner.

True. She says he never called her yada yada but how would she know?

touchmeder:

you'd be shocked the number of people that knew this man was playing her n of course kept mute. including the ones she is saying were family back at home, friends in the states and relations.

its a game baby no one will be the one to rat on him. in some cases the wife back at home knows esp when the man has no papers and d aim is to use a chick to enable the entire family come over. i know a couple like that in my church, he is with his family now abroad. They both paid for it in the process cos step kids are involved now at least they have permanent stay here.

Oh, trust me-I'm aware that I was the last one to know what was going on. But again the question is, for what? For what reason was this all done in the first place? He didn't need me for papers-he got that on his own.

He basically played me all in the name of companionship and spreading his seed (my daughter). Bottom line. I think his mom was just happy to have another grandbaby.

Girl, I wonder, did you personally offend all of these people? Because I don't know why they are being so unnecessarily harsh to you. Like I said play that boys II men song. Doing just fine. Great for your situation.

i think it is possible not to know. a perfect crook will always hid his ways at least for some time. maybe when he call them, he hid somewhere in the mall. you go to the mall and see pple talking in naija accent maybe warn them not to call him o, you know it cost too much. i will call you and then hid somewhere or on the way back from work and do the calling with his calling card.

Iya K, i miss something. did you know abt his kids in nigeria all along??

@Iyakadija,  As much as you want the whole world to see this your EX as a bad person.
Much of the truth where been knowing to you from get-go!
DO you say how?
1, Did he ever promised to marry you? , ans   NO!
2, Must every relationship must lead to marriage ?  ans ,  NO!

The fact remain 2 adults leave together for periods of 8 years, kids involved,
He decided to move to next chapter of his life, choose whoever he felt comfortable with. His choice!
As much as you want this to last for ever, Our friend sees it other way.
Like I said in my previous post "ITS ABOUT TIME YOU CANT YOUR BLESSING one by one"
Reflects on those leason learn from him , those should be yard -sticks for next relationship.

All those friends that are saying wrong things about him , only need one thing " Your Attention.
Your friends at the other-hand , just jealijealoust "How meaningfull you leave your life for those 8Yrs"

*Hauwa*:

you go to the mall and see pple talking in naija accent

you know, right?

Tpia, Iya K's baba must be one of those pple we might have passed by saying 'ah, shey nepa seize light' ah, nooooo there is light here o. did you get the money i wired through WU? i have overheard something like that o at the mall. i was sitting down resting after shopping one nice summer day and gbosa talks abt nepa

You guys see I haven't been coming here nearly as often-you guys as therapy has worked for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Hauwa-to answer your question, yes I knew about his kids in NG, as I spoke to them quite often-also my daughter and them were very close-albeit over the phone, but close, nonetheless. Again he led me to believe the kids were being raised by his Mom(which was only part of the truth-only his son was being raised by the Grandmother). He AND his family also led me to believe that his "baby's mother" had married and moved back to Kano State (they're originally from Lagos). 

And I know now that he would wait until he was at work or when I was at work or wasn't around to contact his wife. Any money he wired back home was always wired to his mother-shoot, sometimes I would go wire the money for him myself.

@Fadaka- Did he ever promise to marry me? The answer is YES. Constantly. That was the source of many arguments last year because I had got on my "put up or shut up" phase. I didn't want to hear promises anymore-I just wanted to do it. I had an open-door policy and gave him plenty of chances to leave if he knew he didn't want the same things that I did. Moving on to the next chapter of his life would have been if he had found a NEW woman-not an old one he knew he would eventually be with and just kept me around to bide his time.

And because every relationship doesn't lead to marriage means that I deserved to be lied to and have my life wasted? If you knew that eventually a woman wanted marriage out of you and you didn't want or couldn't provide the same, why would you drag it out 8 years by lying to her? Why would you involve not 1, not 2, but 3 innocent children in your games?

And the Ex is not a bad person? I'd hate to see who you call bad!

8yrs

that is a long time for any game to be up.

i bet you dated this guy with your eyes closed and i believe you have strong feelings for him no matter what he did to you. Try not be too desperate, you may learn one or more things about him.

the major things is take a tough and good decision, then you can move on with your life.

marriage no be by force