₦airaland Forum

MrBrownJay1:
i will slap her back for doing NOTHING yet running to me and expecting "me" to do anything about it. she dey craze!!!

Haba bros, you no go give them brazilian jujitsu for slapping your babe?

tooth4tooth:
What will this madness benefit her? Does that mean the man can not buy another car or what

Before I answer this your very stupid comment....are you male or female?

spiceadole:
Good that someone has told him the reality.

I read his comment and was laughing at such ignorance.. You want to marry off your daughter without consulting and informing the family and village elders...

If only you know the kind of abomination you will cause and the consequences of such act.

Aka ado asuk akod mmo esin, esuk eke duok mbiam.

Tradition is tradition.

You see marriage and burial rites.... It's not done alone

Sounds fetish.
Funny how nigeria is so religious, yet here we have someone fearing the "repercussions" of not engaging in fetish practices.
O my people, when will you be free? Does your cowardice know no end? Must every ant that passes your front make you quiver in fear and superstition? Kanye was right: Slavery is a choice.

Well, as for me, We under Christ do not fear these things.
After all Jesus said "Let the dead bury the dead". The burdens you have placed on yourselves (and others) are of your own making, and they can be of your own unmaking as well. These things distract you from the pleasurable simplicity of life.

nattyGENT:
Tradition is tradition. I am an Akwa Ibom indigene too, I just collected a marriage list with items that is tripple your own but no shaking, why? Because items on the lists are left for bargain by the suitor especially items for the father & mother except those of relations, women, youths and village items to avoid issues.

It's a pity that what you did may run in your own family, that is, your children too may be married this way (with ebod usongenyin) which is not dignified in our culture.

I am busy studying the list to reduce it to what I can afford. It's usually a thing of joy and respect upon the family and suitor.

We know a broke and hungry villager that somehow stumbled on data plan by the way you speak.
You all lie and over-exagerate things in a bid to sound like one worthy of respect.

See your mouth like "Triple". So your list reached 18 pages abi? Because that is what triple means...
If not then Your lack of an understanding of math exposes you even the more.

sacramento1212:
I'm glad you admit that your paying over a million naira 12 years ago to marry your wife was bourne out of the fact that they knew your financial worth and also their greed.

I completely disagree with you as per the aspect cutting off your family elders when your daughter(s) is or are getting married. You cannot do without them but just try to play the politics to avoid wahala even though you as the father is financially responsible for them. Tradition is Tradition and must be respected or else you kill yourself for nothing.

If it's your Son, you can do without them but not your female children. Ku yak mbio idung e edwok mbiam uno or ekud ekpo yak adu mia awod all because of ignorance. Wisdom is golden bro

This is why I say Nigerians are WEAK minded and do not actually question things but just say/do what they've been told to like good little slaves.

Think on what you have said properlly. WHY do you think you can't do without them?
Maybe if you listed the reasons, your point would have merit and people can guage for themselves whether or not they NEED greedy village people who they "have" to allow to hold their lives and destiny for ransom.

prettyangel10:
You have verbal diarrhea, You seriously need to get help asap.

Just ignore.
His behavior has all the telltale signs of cognitive dissonance.
He is just trying to convince himself that what he is saying is true.
He knows he is lying....or trying to believe a lie.

It's how weak & pathetic people cope with hard truths.

bilulu:
what do u suggest I check for?

Explain your symptoms to them.
They'll know what to test you for.

bilulu:
far from dat cuz am not a fan of organic sugar

A common misconception...
Carbs is also sugar.
Nigerian food is predorminantly extremely carb-heavy.

But its less likely that sha.
Just go do check up with your family doctor or a urinologist

babtoundey:
And she confirmed it by proving to the whole world how awfully intimidating she is.

Well she struggled, but ended up having the good sense to share wisdom with other girls in the same situation.

I support her decision.

Let's be honest, there are too many dumb women in the world already. We don't need to make the few that have brain stupid as well.
Most are that way because They are being popularly encouraged/trained to be that way by men like her fiance (to the detriment of men who prefer active intelligent partners).

To the reverse, it's akin to girls popularly encouraging/training young men to be thugs/bad guys in order to get love...to the detriment of women who would prefer their men not be that way.

Wise choice. It spells a turbulent future based on VERY core differences.

I don't understand guys who don't want a thinking partner.

Judahudoh:
I am a native of Akwa Ibom and I want to say this - Am a type that observes naturally just anything going on around me. It never used to be so, believe me when I say, the so called culture is now mixed with greed and fueled by poverty looming an average unemployed villager.
I will always damn tradition anytime any day, especially if it is not comfortable for me. As a young man I do not have anything to do with cowards - male or female.
No body ever changed the world by adhering to what they were told they could and could not do. Every law is made by men for men and in most cases the law is only binding on the average men.
I should say a lady is a weakling if she can't stand up for her marital life. It is such a shame though am aware this doesn't happen in all parts of Akwa Ibom, I know it's not an Akwa Ibom issue.
Africans have a culture of mutual impoverishment and everyone is looking for who to take advantage of. It is my/your business if we accept it

Naija needs more people who think like you on these subjects.

bilulu:
symptoms of? wat do u suggest?

diabetes for one

Stop masturbating.
Exercise more for increased blood circulation.
When was the last time you went for a health checkup?
Could be a symptom of something else...

CharleyBright:
Yes, you are right, my inlaws and their village people capitalized on my ability to pay. Paying over N1.2M for traditional marriage 12yrs ago was much.
I had to make a choice : Pay or walk away from the marriage.
I paid by giving them all they requested on their silly list. It badly ruined my white wedding budget which was 2 wks after.
But one thing i have resolved over the years is that - No damn Village person or family head or Village head will determine what happens in my daughters T.M.
I wont even invite them.
My kids arent growing up in the village or anywhere close to it and I dont give a damn about any silly tradition.
After all, none of them village people is contributing a kobo for their education now.
So why will i go and pay homage to them during my daughters TM?
Damn them and their traditions.
.

Correct guy.
THIS is how a real man thinks.

Why would ANY FATHER let some hungry greedy villagers put a RANSOM on your daughter's happiness?
You would rather kill your daughter's soul by keeping her sleeping with men out of wedlock than to just let her marry the person she is in love with so they can start building their lives together in a simple way and grow?

What is even terrible is that YOU are the one being done a favor. These 2 people are trying to move YOUR generation forward.
You want to keep her well into her 30s before you get tired of her and after you have crushed her heart and turned it to kpomo by blocking her true loves of youth from marrying her....all because of greed and cowardice? How is that even remotely logical?!

These areas in naija just seem full of weak & heartless bastards for fathers.
Because tell me now, how does any of these things help YOU?

Hanseel1:
Wonder why some women are treated like properties in this country?

After you've been sold off like a commodity by your father and his kinsmen why do you think you'll go into a man's house and start dragging rights or denying him his rights e.g sex because you're not in the mood?

Common sense is not common. If you as a woman choose to be sold off like a commodity -your choice.

I'm more concerned about the women defending this modern slavery called bride price on this thread.

Every major progressive move came as a result of a revolution.

Nigerians are loud people, but they are weak and timid when it counts.
They are incapable of properly rebeling against tyranny... be it political or village wahala.

If people cannot free themselves from the bonds of something as pointless and pathetic as "village-placed burdens", how can they hope to free the country from more weightier oppressions?

Black man never start!

lawsbanks:
Yoruba families wont give you this headache. Use the southern girls as side chicks

That's because Yoruba families have sense and are progressive thinkers.
Unlike other backward cultures that only value money, Yoruba value the broad spectrum of things that lead to life fulfillment.
Other cultures will be selling their children to the highest bidder and will still have the impetus to be trying to justify the action with stupid sentiments that they try to pass on as "logic". The logic of idiots no doubt.

Let your children start building YOUR successive generation early. They are doing you a favor!

Sensible people need to stay away from these self-defeating cultures that obsess over evil practices and perpetuate the downfall/de-evolution of black people.

Asekhamhe1:
One of my guy for done marry since na because of the BP make am never marry..... Now I no why most of them end up as baby mama or carry belle things old men and women go just they block people destiny

Why let them?
You are young and able.
form your own culture.

See them.
IF this were a thread exposing igbo wedding excesses, see how insults would have been flying left right and center already at the OP.
Yet all I am uniformly seeing in this thread is "it's true, it's true".

All of you that do these evil extortionist things are backward.

khiaa:
Describe true racism.

Madam, no one argues that racism (evil / hate) doesn't exist.
True racism is when a person gets harrassed/lied on or held back PURELY due to their race.
True racism happens everyday in the world. And I will ALWAYS be against that.

Like the way you just felt the need to be racist to some white guy in another thread, when he was being nothing but respectful, because of your hate issues. You showed yourself out to be a racist oppressor. I will ALWAYS fight against what you presented yourself to be in that thread. THAT was true racism, and it does not move anyone forward. It simply perpetuates a cycle that simply must end.

Now what is fake racism?

"Victims" of fake racism will always try to attribute everything wrong with their life to racism, even if it is their own foolishness or lack of action that is causing them their problems. Life is GREAT for black folk around the world when they focus on the basics: Get educated + Get productive + Apply wisdom = Profit. Then you can laugh at true racist devils of other races as they stew in their hatred.

Now how do you fight racism?

Firstly, STOP being a fucking racist yourself!

Secondly, and this is the insightful part of this essay...

Understand that racist white/asian/wuteva folk, being physically weaker than you, will instead fight you with their mind. As such they have created a legal environment that gives precedence to someone that specializes in mind games, which is unfair to those that don't (Much like how they created a legal environment that is unfair to men in their family courts, but that's another topic). Someone who has it in for you will dedicate their useless time to study the law just so that they can find a technicality to report you on (much like demons reading bible to figure out what to accuse you of), much like the "Permit Patty's"...with the expectation that the negro is a mentally weak and feral breed of human that is predictable and easy to get irate...and doesn't like taking people to court. Notice that a lot of these plans can simply be aborted by staying calm, and either reporting them on their own technicality defaults or SUEING like any other white person would do when met with such constant harassment. The only way to fight in that land is by extending office politics to the real world basically

But most black people do not fight back with the sensible weapons available to you (i.e sue), so the evil oppressor keeps coming at you.
I think every black person in the US needs a lawyer. When white people sue, it is not because they KNOW they will win. A lot of those lawsuits fail. But it is simply a way of baring teeth and saying "don't Bleep with me" in that society. At the highest, The average unthinking black person would instead try to use a gun or physical violence to bare teeth...leading to the idiot getting arrested instead. :face_palm:
You owe it to yourselves to understand the laws of the land you have been a part of for so long, and learn how to use it to fight your battles for you. You will get no where by complaining! You must love the courts to beat your enemies.


Thirdly...
I know you guys have gone through trauma, but you really need to heal to move forward in a logical way.
You cannot heal if you CHOOSE to 100% keep yourself in the same echo-chamber of people saying the same thing and hurting the same hurt as a life-long COMMITTMENT. Surround yourself with black people with different views than your own, like professional Nigerians who talk of other things for example. I bet you if you get into a circle of Nigerians, the last thing any of them will be talking about is racism. We are FAAAAR more focused on getting those greenbacks and having fun. We don't tie every failure to racism, because we have that "global experience" and know better.

The white man is not your God. He will not heal you. He will not understand you. He will not heal your community. He will not start/run businesses for you. He has his own life and community to care about. He is selfish and opportunistic. SO ARE YOU. We are all HUMAN.

So focus on being the best you can be, and surround yourself with evolved minds who believe in personal responsibility and productivity.
Heal YOUR community and stop focusing on the past. The day you start focusing on HEALING your community, is the day you will begin to understand when I say a lot of black people are their own problems. Stuck in their backward, self-destructive ways. Refusing to evolve to a higher plane of reasoning. Unfortunately, healing your community is the FIRST THING you need to do to begin gaining proper RESPECT across the rainbow of human racial perspectives.

This Detox must start from the inside out. Start with Yourselves, and make certain things uncool. You cannot heal/evolve your community if your very culture celebrate degeneration. You know exactly what I am referring to. Make that stuff uncool! This is the advertisement you give other humans about your community, and yet you wonder why they intend to keep you at arms length?

Racism is one thing, personal responsibility is another. I don't tolerate victim identities when they eschew the latter but try to claim the former.

Onuokwu:
This your post is pointless. Hypocrisy. If you wan marry Brazil woman and Dem say you need to come to Brazil, you will go there with a sheepish smile on your face. Punk.

If you can't make up the cash to go just launch an appeal fund. I might decide to help you if you behave.

Not when the Brazilians parents are already where I am.
IDGAF about marrying women whose families aren't in the same country as I am.

victorian:
Most men are not ready to be responsible, that's why.

And women these days prefer to be single have kids, than settle with just any guy for marriage sakes. Gone are those days, a woman will be suffering and smiling.

More women are not ready to be treated as slaves in a marriage they spend their hard earned money on. The guy more or else doesn't contribute anything other than sex, collects her money and he will still be as controlling as fucvk! Some slaps here and there, feeling he should be able to make her scared of him.
Why would a man instill fear in his wife instead of respect from his wife
So,
Most single ladies don't need such stress biko.

Personally, I can never marry a controlling, abusive, lazy man. I rather remain single and have kids instead.

Unfortunately because of your negative thinking, after you have now had these children out of wedlock,
you then render yourself unweddable.

Very few solid men are interested in raising/providing for children they did not father...for good reason.

FBIL:
Were you there in kenya or you're one of those who are quickly duped because you believe everything you see online. If you've run a business in foreign land, you'd understand how fast Nigerians succeed and how quick locals can gang up against you. I run a company overseas and compete fiercely, too. So, I'm writing from experience, not Nairaland stuff. OK?

Makes sense.
But I do know that academic sexual abuse is something that happens in nigeria with impunity and without consequence, so it's really not a far off thing to fathom, seeing as leopards hardly change their stripes.

FBIL:
Hatred for Nigerians everywhere, man! Did I read ''sexual abuse and extreme religious practices''? Both cannot go together under one roof! Locals are afraid of competition hence the need to give a dog bad name for easy hanging. But come, why are British, Turkey and other foreign schools in Nigeria not being scrutinized? Did I hear you say ''Naija is a dumping ground''?

Are they lying?

An Idiotic breed of Nigerians trying to propagate their backward "lecturer culture" to other countries.
Lock those perverts up!

Naajjii:
Of course the blame is on Africans for been weak , for not resisting,For not going over their land and also ship them as slaves as they did to us. Why is it so? Because we can't think or we don't want to think and be creative and create advanced tools to overwhelm them as well.At Every given setup the weak suffer the most even in animals kingdom.
Black people are weak mentally even though they are the strongest physically.

True and I have said this before.
The black man wastes his mind on lesser things to the detriment of technological advancement i.e expensive cultural practices, excessive entertainment, obsession with love making, self-defeating-greed (greed should at least benefit you) and of-course, predatory religion (God is above religion).

The only thing the average black man cares about is to enter this world to jaiye... Not to leave a mark or move his people forward in any way that matters.

Question them on their misplaced priorities and their wasteful cultural obsessions (as I have done many times in this forum) and they will proceed to insult you instead of seeing how they are not helping themselves be globally competitive.

It is our CHOICE to be weak that gets us bent over on a table all day every day by other civilizations.
And we will continue to be raped until we adjust our compass!

NightKing02:
who sold the blacks, were they not your ancestors?

There is nothing like racial discrimination the black race is backward and we are being treated the way we deserve.

Whites used to discriminate against Chinese but no longer.
If I were white, I would have been a "racist" . Your president cries to the UK anytime he has headache why should they treat us as equals?

Important questions that only the evolved of mind (or getting there) would ever ponder on.
The typical black person is too basic-in-thought to think on these things.

What the average black person calls "racism" is simply a LACK OF RESPECT.
Would you respect a group of people who continuously prove to the world that they have no idea how to run a civilization?
Would you not consider them savages?
When we stop FALLING OUR OWN HAND on the international arena, then respect will come naturally....not by crying everyday.

Hungry babes on point

khiaa:
That is your problem, always thinking we want something from whites. What we truly want is for them to go away and stay the hell out of our lives. We can't be happy with these people, they are obsessed with us and will never leave us alone, still angry because we aren't their slaves anymore. Segregation is the only way to live in peace in America, Martin Luther King last speech before he died was about him stating that he did a big disservice to his people by fighting for integration, he realized that it is impossible to live with these people. You can't be happy living side by side with the oppressor. White people are nothing like you have been taught to believe they are. Bombing black neighborhoods because they were successful and living better than them killing over 3000 people, setting neighborhoods on fire because of jealousy and killing hundreds.

Well that's not going to happen, so if you want to revert back to 1951 setting, you should just head back to Africa. There you can be surrounded by our fellow blacks...and see how that works out.

I am aware of black wall street. But see, that was 1921. Years before MLK.
Have you tried to build it again? I guess that would be Atlanta today. We were also getting shafted by colonizers over here.
Have you ever picked a bale of cotton in your life? No.
Sounds like you're just crying because you weren't born with a silver spoon in your mouth.
Do dumb stupid whites exist and hate you? Absolutely. Don't join pigs in the mud. It's not healthy for you. Elevate yourself. They are just doing all in their current powerlessness to annoy you, and the sad thing is you are letting them win.

What you have failed to also admit is that black people were not the only people marching in Selma. There were good white people there too...some of them beaten and killed by evil white men in your liberation.
Also, just recently, was it not a white woman that died when that evil neo-nazi punk drove his car into BLM protesters? If all white people are evil, then what is she?
So for you to demonize the whole white race, not only does it make you sound like ignorant scum...but it repulses your allies who would have been ready to do what it takes to make it right.
There is evil, and there is good. Remove race from it.

You black americans suffer from the illusion that all black people are these benevolent Wakanda-like somethings and that the only reason there is decay in the black communinity today is because of white people.
That is only the result of your limited world view.
If you see the way evil blacks and black leaders slaughter and deal with fellow blacks out in the wide world, your perspective will shift.

Evil is a HUMAN attribute, not racial.
The past has already happened. Congratulations! There is freedom.
All that matters is whether or not you are stopped from achieving success for your future gneration TODAY....and the answer to that is no.
The evil people who held black people down (whether white slave owners or black slave sellers) are in the grave...and their eternal lot has been handed to them. Stop poking your nose into God's business and carry on with your life.

khiaa:
This is why I called you ignorant.

If so then answer this as simply as possible...

What do you want the white man to do for you?

@amaniro
Honestly speaking, Nigeria needs its own Trump...

khiaa:
Why would I want to see that filth? I know what whites did and still do to blacks. The only difference between now and then is back then they were slaves and the abuse was legal, TODAY they aren't slaves but the abuse/murder continues and it's illegal on paper but it still continues in America. Don't call me to threads like this, call in the ignorant people like booboo7, nwanneni, 2buffagain, and Hondata they need to be educated.

I am not ignorant.
I am simply evolved.

The lesser creature rages against it's betters.
You affirm this with your hatred of all white people.

I do not see white people as anything special. I see them as human beings...human beings are opportunistic....regardless of their race.

Slavery?
Well the major profiteers of slavery were the black african chiefs and slave traders who were rounding off slave packages for white merchants to come buy at the docks. WE sold our brothers and sisters for selfish gain. Slavery is something that still LEGALLY happens today in Africa, and no, I'm not talking about Libya.

Colonialism?
Nigeria has been free from that ish for how long now? How come it is still a lootocracy? How come even BASIC infrastructure is still a problem to achieve? Will we blame whites for that too?
It took UK to jail that crook Ibori when he went to visit because they knew we as a country were too corrupt to make the right decision if he was allowed to go back to naija.
Also Last I saw, your president Buhari sold Nigeria to China under neo-colonialism.
How long shall we continue to blame other races for our own foolishness?

There is a message you tell your sub-conscious when you blame all your failures on external things.
You are telling your sub-conscious that those things control you and that there is nothing you can do about it.
You are telling your sub-conscious that those things are your Gods.

This, ofcourse, is a bastard lie.

You know very well there are decisions that YOU could have made, within your personal agency, to succeed.
But a person with a victim identity values the very thing that they claim makes them a victim.

Take you for example.
Your hatred of white people creates a safe psychological space for you, where the quality of your sense of personal responsibility cannot be directly questioned.
The person with a victim identity would rather die than give away that safe space....hence why many continually blame white/yellow/green men instead of elevating themselves by education, making changes and CREATING VALUE to succeed.