₦airaland Forum

Jaqenhghar:
Yeah I get you. Its really sad

Just doing the math alone annoys me..

I mean last time I went to naija, my ticket alone was like $1900 USD.
Now imagine transporting everyone involved to murtalla mohammed in lagos, and THEN transporting them to the east again...plus hotel accomodations etc not to now talk of the actual almost-unending wedding expenses again... because all the village people will want to know is how much dollar is entering their hand seeing as people have come from America to do wedding in their village

I rather bundle up that money and do betta thing for me and my future childrens' lives right here where I am bo.

milemimi93:
How many have you coded?

This is a faceless forum. I'm definitely not going to tell you anything I have released as that can then be traced back to me.

Rest assured that Tech is not a respecter of persons and you can achieve great success if you focus your energies on innovating, creating, releasing and SELLING. None of which requires government nor can any be done by most of the youths' constant focus on entertainment and romance.

ednut1:
the kids and youth in china,usa, canada and co created the enabling environment abi

Go into Tech.
You don't need government for that.

Government will not tell you to go online and learn how to create software, for example. Or how to create something cool with an arduino board.

milemimi93:
Where is the capital to go into business?

Learn to code, then create something.
Then RELEASE it.

You just typed into something that some guy named Seun coded and RELEASED.

Wallexander001:
Lol trust me I got this qualities, I've got 3 ladies
So should they marry me ?

You do all this for 3 different women?
This is why Nigerian youths don't invent anything. Too much time thrown to pointless activities.

That's how one silly Nigerian girl I was dating a decade ago was expecting me to be calling/texting her at least 10 seperate times a day.
Rubbish

ednut1:
See who dey talk. There is no enabling environment for such to thrive which is no fault of the youth

Like what Satan said up there...who are you expecting to create this "enabling environment"?
Don't fawk up and say "government".

KingSatan:


Its my handiwork.


But on a serious note, the African mind have been customized with so many limitations.

It starts from their families teaching them total dependence on the west for technological dividends.

Society teaching them that except you get the support of the government, you are bound to fail.

Government trying very hard to secure the future of their immediate families and loved ones at the expense of the ordinary African.

Lastly, their churches teaching them to "Cast their burdens/worries unto Jesus for he cares for them"

Listen friend, Every scientific breakthrough you know (including those about yet to come) was born out of curiosity.

That curiosity was born out of a need.

In Africa you have a need and also a resort. And that is religion!

So don't expect much.

I will keep doing my job.

Making you Africans pay for being black and looking like me.

Wow you have this whole thing figured out huh?
You must hate yourself though, because that's the only reason why people who as you say "look like you"...must suffer more.

Have you seen a shrink to help you deal with that self-hate?
Who is paying you for this work you say you are doing sef?
I'm sure since your..."split"...from heaven, you must have figured out far more interesting things to do with your eternity than the unpaid infliction of sufferment and retardation on humans.

Why are the Business and Technology sections of this forum always empty, but the romance and entertainment sections are always full?

Could this be a symptom of where the priorities of the average nigerian youth lay?

Could this be why Nigerians don't invent anything?

Processor01:
C'mon dude, you can do better.

Experience = Subjective
Clear thinking = Objective


My advice again - there are lots of superb women from the Western, Mid-Western, Northern (rare though) and South-South of Nigeria to choose from in the US.
Quit whining or trying to denigrate a tribe.

I no get time for too much talk. Luckily someone has already said what I planned to tell you:

ebonflexy:
You just sound prideful and silly the more and more you talk.

If the OP has not met this greyish area you speak of nko? You forget he is not in Nigeria.
His experience and knowledge of Igbo people could be based on the many igbo people he has engaged with AND what he reads about their culture.
If both those things align, then THAT IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF A PEOPLE to an outsider...and also the scientific equivalent of "Due Process".

You insulting the OP over his pretty much scientific observation makes you seem more stupid than you think. You just want to feel like you are insulting someone so you can feel accomplished, even if said insult has no point.

Notice how NOOO Igbo girl has come on to any of these multiple threads on the subject to say "Hey I don't want to do my own in a village".
Fawk your textbook/confirmation bias. It is a wide-spread igbotic thing, whether you admit it or not. The very PRECEPTS of igbos state that if you don't wed her in her village, something must be wrong.

If there are any "grey area" people as you have said, then they clearly hide and do not voice their grey area.
That is THEIR fault, not the OP's...as they've missed out on SEVERAL opportunities to advertize their group as anything else BUT backward minded traditionists...or cowards.
The reason they do not comment is because THEY KNOW it is true, and are too scared or not confident enough to publicly make a statement against the backwardness.

As far as I see on this and any other discussion on this subject, online or offline, the only igbotic people who voice anything on the subject are those that:

1)- Confirm the observation

2)- Confirm the observation by insults

3)- are male, Confirm the observation, and want to marry from elsewhere because of it. (This doesn't mean they won't still insist on it in the future when marrying off their own daughter...totally abolishing what it means to "Do onto others..."

Again drop the fawking ego and stop being fawking illogical just because you want to sound like some middle-ground person.

Jaqenhghar:
Is anything sacred in Niggeria? The only thing sacred in this shithole is money. Far more sacred than life. Most times these rites are done to go show off to the village people and others who may care.

At least if they choose to finance this urge to showoff with their own money, including financing the transportation of all extended people. It would be their prerogative.

But when they insist on financing their excessives with the groom's resources, that's just sad.

Auladimeji:
But these same ladies pretends as if they don't enjoy been Fvck.Nigeria ladies are hypocrite

These aren't Nigerian females.
These are Black Americans.

Black american women are very open about their craving for cawk and nut.
Makes bachelorhood very simple in yankee

Shugavee:
u know the truth,, deny it all u want ,,,

Because the women fasting and praying at shiloh for husband are men abi? Kontinu.

It is not today that females have been trying to subvert logic and facts to perpetrate some manufactured point.
Illogicality reigns supreme in the mind of the average self-deluded female.

Who will then take the old car?

Shugavee:
because most times we are,,, guys r normally the ones that ask ladies on a date,,, dating him is another topic

LOL keep on thinking that way into your old age.
I really don't know who tells you nigerian female idiots this rubbish.

Most couples don't actually Bleep the night of the wedding tbh.
Best to sleep and wake up to a fresh day...of nothing but fucking.

mmsen:
Women are hilarious, they'll gain weight at a moment's notice and the have the nerve to ask why others have gained weight.

Their tendency to project their own guilt on others is a sign of a weak mind...a la weaker sex.

Andracarles:
you need a job. When you have a job, someone's sister will see that you are a smart, hardworking, put together lady. That person will call the brother, introduce you and boom. Abroad husband. Long as you are jobless and your eyes are looking for dollars to chop... my sister... forget it.

I don't even know how these girls have themselves jobless and unambitious, yet still think that a man will come and use them for nothing other than sex and rituals.

They never stop and ask: What am I bringing to the table?

You know she is exactly that by the way the first thing she started complaining about in her thread is "broke boys", as if she herself is not broke. What man in his right mind will pick up a parasite?

Better she find a rich old man in her village there to marry her as his 13th wife.
Guys in obodo oyinbo don't do jobless girls...the system there doesn't encourage that kind of laziness.

Yoshy:
It's a personal issue. The girl in question wanted to do some celebrations at home, if not I don't see any reason why you should worry.

Sending small stuff to the kindred at home to equally celebrate supposed to settle it.


Between, I'm asking out of curiosity, why would someone want to marry Nigerian girls, African Americans, Africans abroad? With all these bad behaviour they exhibit and uphold?

There are still many good black women out here.
Concerning a subset of said women, I for one like the idea of a wifey who one can roll pidgin with from time to time. When I date african americans ladies, there's always that disconnect because you can't take them to some things like a raw naija comedy shows cuz they'll just feel lost.

The good ones are hard to find though, and are generally very quiet.
Thing about life is, and I think I've said it here, it is usually the empty-headed/unthinking ones that are the loudest and thus create the most negative advertisement for their group.

Funny enough Nairaland just suggested this thread following this same topic.
I cringe at the myopic views of the igbotics in there https://www.nairaland.com/1444513/traditional-marriage-village-it-compulsory

Processor01:
One of the intelligent and flawless posts here is from IamLEGEND1. The OP writes (English only) like he's educated but when people generalize (poor sample size + availability/confirmation bias), it says a lot about one's thought pattern.

My advise, marry from any other tribe or nation, except of course, one baba or prophet has told you that your destiny is tied to marrying an Igbo.

Nope. It says a lot about one's EXPERIENCE.
Adjust yourself.

rex444:
There is a reason why the sky is blue on a sunny day, there is a reason why bats fly at dawn,there is a reason why things r just the way the are. Better left unturned...i wonder what we would be if our cultural n traditional heritage is lost...

There is a difference between losing it and evolving it.

You would be better progressive human beings when you evolve it.
Traditions that enshrine backwardness serve no one and take up too much valuable mind space that should be given to greater things.
Ever wonder why africans generally don't invent anything worthwhile today? We typically waste our finite energies on useless matters..some tribes more than others.

Even the jews (which igbo people tried to claim they are but have been denied by actual jews), they are a divinely-traditional people, but none of them travel back to Israel just to marry. It is an excess.

Not even God cares about your man-made cultural burdens.
You create these things simply to place burdens on yourselves (or for fetish reasons you are ignorant of) and on others at the expense of the things that actually matter.

If God hasn't asked for it specifically, and if it is of no perceivable benefit, it is useless and a waste.
That's my culture.

IamLEGEND1:
When 10 or 20..... or even a hundred people tell me they prefer this way of doing things, I'll believe them..... but it still doesn't negate the existence of a side that would prefer not to do things this way. and a lot more others who exist in the gray area between these polar opposites.
your refusal to acknowledge this fact is what makes whatever argument you make extremely lopsided, and from this point forward, not worth my time.

Well they are not vocal if they agree with doing things differently. The emptier/unthinking vessels make the most noise and control the public opinion of their culture.

IamLEGEND1:
According to this thread...

do you even hear yourself? when has the comments of no more than 5 random strangers become an acceptable sample size on which to base your judgement of an entire tribe made up of millions of people living in all corners of the globe?
and maybe you should take the time to revisit my first & second comments on this thread; read them slowly this time and maybe the part where I questioned the rationale behind adhering to obsolete customs will become clear to you because I just assumed you missed it the first time OR maybe you just have selective amnesia.

+ I am a Fulani guy. call me idealistic but I believe humans should be able to see things objectively irrespective of racial, tribal or religious affiliations.

Then you need a larger sample size....so I will fault you with ignorance and lack of actual experience.
This is not the first time I have asked this question. Besides me, a quick check online yields another similar conversation, along with the usual expected responses whenever someone asks the typical igbotic mind a question about their culture...

https://www.bellanaija.com/2017/01/laura-ikeji-arrives-nkwerre-for-her-traditional-wedding-happening-tomorrow/
(see comment section)

Furthermore, When people are honest enough to tell you who they are and what they believe in... believe them. It is illogical to argue that they don't believe what they have told you they believe.

OP you forgot #0:

Stop calling yourself an alpha male.
Leave such for others to attribute to you based on the substance of your character.

chigoizie7:
That's ur own perception bro. If u don't like the culture. U can go ahead to do ur thing the way u like. But the Igbo tribe will not change the way they do their thing just because u have a problem with it. No, it doesn't work that way.


The Bible also respects the good aspect of people's culture. Also I can tell u that traditional marriage is not bad as it is not evil in any sense of it.


In so many other cultures all over the world, they all have their different weddings, the Indians has their own, the Chinese, the Japanese, the Arab, the English( white wedding) , the Nigerians both Igbo, Hausa, Yoruba, efik ( traditional wedding).

One type of wedding is enough for any group of people as long as they recognized it as a means of marriage rites. Just because the white wedding ( western culture ) came about to this part of the world, should we abolish our own TRADITIONALLY recognized form of wedding and take up on other people's? I don't think so.

Some might think traditional wedding is echaic? If it is then, the white wedding which is the generally recognized form of traditional wedding to the western world will be echaic to the Chinese, Japanese, Indian or even the Arabs.


The westerners have all accepted the white wedding and its norms, so as other cultures.






Traditional wedding or not, it's ur choice.

You are derailing and off point.
No one said anything about not doing traditional weddings. In fact, trad is the most important wedding as it involves all the basic parts of a wedding already i.e parents giving away daughter. White wedding is in fact not neccessary.

The difference between these cultures you have mentioned and the african igbo is that those cultures DO IT WHERE THEY ARE.
This is because people from other cultures are PRAGMATIC as to the realities of the current age....a trait I am yet to find with most igbo traditionists....from my multiple experiences anyway.

ndy87:
this one pain op gan.

Yup. it did.
Do you have anything else to say?

93Miles:
List three things a man can never gets tired of when caught.

Certainly not human beings

93Miles:
If you don't chase a woman, what else would you chase? Oyindidi? Absolutely not.

Creativity, insight, expression...chasing human beings is silly. They should either want to come with you or not.
You should only really focus on chasing things that you don't get tired of after catching.

Lonestar124:
Please close down this thread... I'm sorry, you're not making point from the topic to your responses.

Nope. The points made in that post are very much in line with the topic of this thread.
You just feel offended because I am questioning your culture for you, something a lot of your people want to do but are too scared to do themselves.

Besides, a man can rant.

prettysassygirl:
Igbo culture is d best

OMG such a bore!

addictiv:
I don't think this is correct. You will only see them come back if the bride is from igbo land, has a large family and most of them re in Nigeria including her parents. But if her parents are with her abroad the rites can be performed there.. Most igbo guys that marry foreigners do not come home to perform marriage rites

Thats the whole point I'm making isn't it?
I am a man. Obviously I am talking about an igbo woman.

The igbo men who marry foreigners do so to not have to deal with their own people's unneccessary stress.

KillaBeauty:
I totally agree with those girls. Marriage in Igbo land is serious business and is usually conducted according to set down tradition and custom. Remember marriage is not just between the man and the woman in Igbo land, it is between two families and you don’t exclude the extended family in the marital rites. If you can afford it, you should totally do things the right way and if not, your woman should be able to see reasons why you won’t be able to incur all that costs but if it were me, I’d insist on doing things the right way.

What is actually "Right"?

Throwing money away to satisfy frivolous "they must know" desires, or bundling up that same money and putting it into trust funds for each of your unborn children so they can start their life when they hit age 20 with a cool $500,000+ dollars....actually moving the family generations forward in a meaningful way? (Does the typical African even know what investing is?)

From experience, Poverty does not leave the mind even if money enters people's hands.
The average Nigerian does not ask "Why" and does not question things...preferring instead to give priority to "Ha, what would THEY think" or "Hmm, THEY must know today that I/we have arrived"?
Who is the THEY and why should you care?

As someone said, other cultures in Nigeria are more sensible and pragmatic as the world is no longer what it was during the times these customs of old prehistoric men were formed. Traditionists bore me, as they are incapable of independent thought past the dictates of humans like me and you who formed things according to their own understanding in their time. You live in a very different time with very different realities. If anything , it shows you do not believe in yourselves enough to make the right changes to things. It is the sign of a collective of weak minds.

Even jews, the most hyper-traditionalists of all time, do not go all the way back to israel just to marry. It is an excess. A waste of resources.

Tried giving Igbo families a chance one last time but it seems they never fail to over-do the culture thing past what even makes sense. Done with 'em.