₦airaland Forum

kulyie: Because many are fanatics and religiously intolerant.there is a wide difference between religion and fanatism.

Fanaticsm is illitercy,ignorance and misguided zeal mixed with religion.many africans fall into this category


while religion broadens your spiritual horizons,helps you to tolerate and respect contrary beliefs,ideals,religions and ways of thinking.religion teaches you when to stop

The bolded is absolute nonsense. As an irreligious Nigerian, I know how often Nigerians both home and abroad insult me for being honest in declaring my unbelief yet you are saying religion breeds tolerance. Even America that pretend to be a tolerant nation are still very negative towards non christian religions let alone a non belief in god.
We don't need any system that brain washes people by telling them that solving their problem requires doing nothing but praying to some non existing god rather than using their brain to think of how to get problems solved. The poorest states in America are also the most religious states in the bible belt of the country and they have the highest poverty rate in the country. Check out Alabama and Mississippi and you will see that religion produce thesame result everywhere.

rationalmind: which branch of engineering bro? Mine is computer

BSc Chemical Engineering and MSc Petroleum Engineering

rationalmind: Lol, yea I am. Are you also one?

Yeah I am. Nice to see people that reason with their brain after getting a rational education.

rationalmind: As for the bold, like someone once noted on this forum, religion has a built in fail safe mechanism.

Just this night while chatting with my gfd, she told me to come to their house on the 31st so we both can go for crossover service together with her family in their church.

I started contemplating following her and asked when they would be back the following day. She said, in the morning.

I was like, I don't joke with my sleep, I can't stay in church from night till the following morning. So, I won't come.

She suddenly said, won't you enter new year in a church and start the new year with God?

I told her I didn't enter this year in a church and never started it with God yet I had everything to gain n nothing to loose. I pointed out some favours I even had this year to her.

I was like gbam!!! who knows, I'm about having a new "convert".

She suddenly to my surprise resorted to the built in fail safe mechanism

Its your mums grace that has been covering you

I couldn't contain my laughter.

I've heard that crappy nonsense talk about the grace of my mum and family member covering me and also responsible for my success in life countless number of time because I officially stopped going to church like17 years ago. The worse thing is that all these crazy religious zombies always beg me who is very antireligious money when they think I am cursed and destined for hell. Religion trully destroys the brain.
By the way are you an engineer?

ekt_bear: Eh, this would be a pretty long discussion appropriate for another thread. But just as one example, women earn less money than men, even adjusting for similar qualifications.

This is one flawed argument that ignorant feminist have been spreading around for years. The highest paying job are in the Sciences, Engineering and the Medical field. As an Engineer myself, I only had about 4 girls in my graduating class of over 80 Engineer in the University in Nigeria and while working as an Engineer in Nigeria, I didnt meet more than 10 girls all through my working offshore in Nigeria. Fast forward to 2013 and it is still thesame even though I currently work in Norway which is one of the so called most female friendly society. When ever I go offshore North Sea in Europe, all I see is men and hardly a woman doing the tough engineering jobs and this is where the money is. If you go to the hospitals in Norway and Denmark you will only see women working as nurse everywhere. Also women are the ones teaching in most school where pay is also crappy. Women are also likely to be psychologist/ sociologist and these are very low paying career. Also women take lot of time off due to pregnancy and child rearing, so how do you expect them to make as more money than men in this world? If you go to factories where physical energy is required to produce stuff, it is men that you'll find there and this are also high paying career. The global population have been so deceived by the main steam media that people just refuse to think before accepting all what they are fed from their television.
You guys should get your facts right and try to compare apple and apple and not apple and orange.

sexychocho: Can u Imagine wat u av just said, I pity u. May God av mercy on u

Please do not waste your pity on me. Pity the millions of Nigerians who believe in your god and are suffering from severe poverty with the only promise coming to them from their so call men of god is better life after death in heaven without any means of solving their earthly problems while thesame pastors and so call men of god live a life of affluence here on earth under the ignorance of their followers. I stopped going to church like 18 years ago and it has really made my life better and much more pragmatic and rational to daily events.
I pity my race because each time I walk through the street of Lagos, I always wonder why you all have not use your brain to organise your lives rather than depending on some imaginary god. We all have brain in our head for a reason so may be you could figure out what it is meant for.

Okpuzu01: For women dat r supporting my wife here. Listen to wot I v to say n tell me if cn do same tin my wife did. I am a retired soldier with a monthly pension of 46k. I waz working wit for Intercontinental bank as a security officer. Den I waz earning 35k per month wit overtime allowance of 11k. Den I waz dating my wife. I knew dat der is no job security in d banking sector, I opened up a shop for renting of nigerian movies n selling of foreign movies. After we got married, I left her to be managing d shop while I concentrated on my job. I waz providing everytin in d house including house rent n my daughter sch fees. Months later, my business waz going down. A reliable source informed me dat wen I am nt arnd, my wife's younger brother usually come to collect money from her. Sometyms her dad wuld come by himself. D business finally went down. I talked to my wife to be very careful d way she carries her family burdens. I den open a bar, I bought two deep freezers at d rate of 53k each, bought plastic chairs n table, big gen n everytin needed in a bar business. I then bought all assorted drinks n loaded d freezer. She started d business, at first, tins were moving fine. Wen I came bk from work, I wuld branch to c hw d business waz fairing. Wen Access bank bought Intercontinental bank, majority of us were relieve of our duty. I waz nw depending on my pension, gain from my business n d little money I saved. I discussed wit my wife to take care of d business while I go bk to Lagos cos I waz invited for an interview den in aviation company. Before I got d job, I waz sending 20k monthly to my wife for der upkeep. I had expected her to v some savings from our business since I dnt ask her for money from d business. Wen our house waz due, I told her to pay for six months from d money she must v saved from d business, I got d greatest shock of my life wen she told me der waz no money. I den instructed her to park out to her parents place n wait for my arrival cos I made up my mind den to relocate dem to Lagos. My business waz going down n I equally instructed her too to close d business. She did as I said n I continued to send 20k to her monthly. U know wot happened, she waz using d money to feed her family. A friend called me dat he does nt lyk d way my daughter waz looking. Looking hagard, her hair unkept. He accused me dat I dnt send money for der upkeep. I travelled bk to Awka unannounced. On getting to my in law's house, I met my daughter at home. She waz supposed to be in sch. Wen I asked, my in law told me dat she waz sent home a week ago for nt paying her sch fees. I asked abt my wife, I waz told dat she travelled to Asaba. I took my daughter n left for my aunty's house. I called my wife to come bk home. It waz den ppl told me dat sometyms she do leave my for a month. Once I send d money, she wuld give her parents some n travel wit d rest to Asaba. Wen she came back, I enquired from her y she could nt pay 5k sch fees from d money I v been sending, she could nt give me any reason. I got anoda house n we went to her parents house to park our properties. I discovered dat my 21inch television waz missing. Myu wife said she used d tele to borrow money. I asked her, borrow money for wot? She said for her parents. I asked wot happened to d shop, she said she gave her parents money for house rent. I threatened to abandon her n go bk to Lagos before she could tell me d truth. 20 of my plastic chairs were missing, wen I asked, I waz told dat her brother sold dem. Oi had to pay 25k borrowed before I got my Tv bk. For u women dat r supporting my wife here, tell me were I v done bad?

I think you have a very good case for divorce if the above really happened. Forget about religious bigots and family that will advice you otherwise. You will not achieve anything in life if you continue like this because she cannot be trusted.

Chomzy19: Yes I assume from d lil he wrote and my assumptions are not far from the truth(going by what he wrote) unless he comes here to Debunk them and say otherwise.
1- They depend on her for SURVIVAL, Survival still what I'm saying d BASIC NECESSITIES of life not Frivolities, if he doesn't like it then he shld open up a business for the Wife's family to survive on... If it was the Man's family who couldn't pay Their house rent I don't think u guys will see anything wrong wit him paying his parents rent or building a house for them Even, no u guys will in fact congratulate him as it should be
2- they can't make any meaningful progress in life if things continue the way they are: Who told him things will continue the way they are? Is he planning that the family will remain poor like that forever? That the brothers will never get a Job? Or that his position at the office or whatever job will remain d same? Y doesn't he see it as progress that d wife's family who couldn't pay their rents before can do so now? I'm sure the wife sees it as progress or should they begin to acquire mansions while her parents pack back to the village?
People save and make investments surely for the family to move forward buh no reasonable person will begin to do that when the people who trained u up and perhaps cannot help themselves now are struggling to survive
I'll only advise the Woman to cut down the help To her parents only and forget d brothers who are old Enough to hustle for themselves and manage

And as for Your understanding that I'm suppporting her cos I'm a Woman, I dunno how you came about that conclusion but no reasonable human being who is not quarelling wit his/her family will watch them struggle to Survive, INCLUDING U... As for the Rubbish that d Brothers has refused to work pleeeaasee what kind of a human being sees a Job in this our NAIJA and refuses to work... Besides even if her Brothers decides to be Vagabonds does it mean she should also join them in their stupid ways and allow her parents to suffer(now that they can't help themselves).I only do not Support the Woman if her people are Living in a Grand Manner When they know they have Nothing and she is funding such a lifestyle

All I can say is that I as a married man is responsible for my wife and child first then my parent. Any other person that expect me to take care of them by right are jokers. if I want to help my wife's people including her parent, it is strictly based on my discretion and not a responsibility and if she feel she is responsible for them, let her go get a proper job and help them while also contributing to the family. I will not earn millions and find myself living from hand to mouth just because I have families that expect me to take care of them!
Here is another quote from the OP:
"I thank all of for your contributions. For your information, before I got married, I have sisters that were married. Its not we are rich but we tried to provide for our parents so as to allow our sisters enjoy their marriages without putting burdens on them. My wife has grown up brothers who can work and support her parents. I never said I am poor. Igbo ppl said Ejiro akpata etufuo aba ogaranya. U dnt get rich by making money n throwing dem away. I personally do give my wife's parents money n gift from time to time. I know wot I have prepared to give dem dis xmas. I am nt against giving dem money bt I must discuss it with my wife. Does she know If I have enough before giving to her parents? Her father is addicted pool. All his money goes into pool. He can't take care of his responsibility a the head of the family. Wen he bought his bus, I know hw much I put into it, he sold desame bus witout informing me. I did it so that they can take the burden off my wife. I v supported her mum severally finacially in her provision shop, they will keep taking items from the shop until it became empty n they will turn again to my wife n continue to mount pressure on her for money."

Chomzy19: Buh D wife isn't asking him for another money after depleting d one from her Bizness(at least he dint say anything like that here) His problem Is that the Woman spends Money from Her Business on her family without his consent; that is his problem

I get all you are saying about d wife contributing and helping to build d home its all Good, But D man is not in need of any such contributions now as you call it, d rainy days are not yet here, so she should not provide basic necessities for her parents cos what we are talking about here is shelter its not like she is wasting it on frivolous things on her self or her people, They can't even pay their House rent and I assume d other monies she gives them is for basic necessities like feeding n clothing etc is that what she will leave and start saving money as d husband calls it for d future since more kids are coming... Will d parents remain in their present situation forever? Or she should be contributing money for Investments and savings while her parents live on the streets?... If the Man was a Good man he shld have opened up a business for his In-laws to atleast survive on, obviously money is not that much of a problem for him since he wants to take a second wife... O ga bu ogbenye buru Amosu? He will not help his in laws he doesn't want d wife to spend too much on her parents (from d money she would have otherwise used on herself oo) what's d spending? Paying their house rent, is nt even that she is sending them abroad for D holz..mtcheeew

You just have many assumptions in your mind, concluded on these assumptions without going back to reading the OP where he said "Her whole families are depending on her to survive. I v seen that we can't make any meaningful progress in life if things continue the way they are".
I understand that you are supporting the wife because you are a woman but being a married man myself, I definitey know what the man is going through hence the reason for my strict advice. There is a very big difference between reality and fiction and people should plan based on their earning. I also strongly believe that for every naira earned, a fraction must be saved. That is my philosophy and in as much as I try to help people myself, I know where to draw the boundary line between planning for myself and my family and doling money out to people.

Chomzy19: Sweery I fink u should read d op's Second Post, D Business is his Wife's, He Opened it for Her though but still it is hers, I don't see how d woman spending money from a biz that is hers affects the Man's personal business and finances, Unless he is saying D Business is For him nd he gave it to the wife to manage or the Family is Being Run from d Money d Wife gets in her Bizness.

This is where you guys have a problem. If I open business for my wife, it will be because I want the business to generate money so that she can be independent and be able to contribute financially to building the home. If she cannot contribute to building the home financially after spending so much on the business, then she is more of a liability than an asset to me. If she ruin the business and come to me for more money don't you think I will be a fool to keep on pumping money into the business without achieving anything for my own family when I know the money will just be redistributed to her family? Marriage is not all about love like you all decieve yourselves but also realistic financial management of your future and your children's because if this man is retrenched or sacked tomorrow, it is thesame women that will complain that he is no more contributing to the home when money that should have been saved for planning the immediate home have been stupidly distributed to extended family who will not be there to help in time of financial strain.
I still believe that a man does not need to die before his time because he is married and if the woman want to give money to her family, let he get a proper job that generates good money then there will be less pressure on the husband.

Most of the people typing here don't understand what the OP is going through. If you earn alot of money and discover that you still cannot achieve anything in your life because of your wife spending habit, you will understand what the OP is talking about. Many women don't work and are not ready to work yet they want to tell their husband how to spend his money and feel it is his responsibility to take care of her parent and siblings like he doesn't have something useful to do with money in planning his own life.
It is just a pity that Africans have entitlement mentality and due to the high level of poverty, feel they can dump their problem on you just because they have some family affiliation with you or your wife. This is the most annoying thing about being an African and I will advice the OP to remove his mind from that business, give her a fixed amount of money every month to run the home and don't care about what she does with the money as long as she doesn't come for more before the end of the month. Clearly budget your salary as it comes and if possible open a fixed account where you keep your monthly contribution for projects and don't care what people say including your wife.
Also note that being married to a woman does not mean you will die before your time simply because you or her want to proof to people that you have some money that you really don't have. Your child's future is the most important thing at this stage and not your inlaws. Another wife will not solve the problem.

okpara ugo: God will answer you...

What we see today are people who have achieved nothing in life making caricature of their maker. When you go to church to rubbish the testimony of saints, your life remains without testimony. Year-in, year-out, you make no progress...

Later you blame fate for not making your parents rich...

I do not believe in your fucking god and so don't have to go to any church to be successful in life. Stop deceiving yourself and use your brain to reason for yourself. Your pastor want nothing from you but your money while deceiving you that he is proclaiming blessing in your life.

okpara ugo: God will always rise in defence of himself. You cant insult God and get away with it.

Btw, what took you to church if you make caricature of his miracles? Now you said she claimed the car summersaulted. Even if it was just once, does a car need to summersault in an accident before somebody dies ?
Dont people die in face to face hits?

You must be a kid.

You must be a brainwashed zombie adult which more or less makes you a big baby. It is more shameful for an adult to reason the way you do than for a child.

Anybody that believe this is dumb!

rudedough: You can also pay back your college loan after you graduate and secure a job. Every country is doing it, why can't we do it too?

Because it is difficult to get a job in Nigeria that will take care of you after graduation, let alone pay back the loan.
Hope you also know about the crisis of student loan in the US?

There is nothing like free tuition fee per say in Europe even though it appears to be free or cheap in many European countries. I work in Europe currently and nobody will tell you that we pay a tax of around 40% and above depending on how much you earn. Now when my child comes of age and is ready to go to University, do you expect me to spend so much on his/her education when I have contributed so much all my life to make the university and society generally to work?
The truth is that there is nothing free anywhere. Everything is paid for somehow and International students are forced to pay the full tuition in many European universities (except Germany and Norway) because their parent does not in anyway contribute to make the system work.

For my BSc education at Unilag in Nigeria, I paid 350 Naira from year 1 to year 3 and about 7,000 Naira for year 4 and 5 between late 90's to mid 2000. My 2 years MSc degree on the other hand, cost me 25,000 Euros (12,500 per year for 2 years) in tuition fee alone in The Netherlands. That is 5 million Naira for 2 a year program and it is relatively cheap compared to education in many other western countries like the US. Even though I had the education on full scholarship, I still admit that good education is certainly not cheap.

Women are just bunch of whiners like they are the only specie on earth. Men created much of this modern world, lay their life in combat to protect our civilization and still do today but when there are casualties during war, you only hear of women and children and never men. Fu.c.k all these stu.pid double standard feminist who think life is all about them. Let them go and study the history of the world to see the sacrifice men have made to make this world safe. On average men die between 6-10 years earlier than their women counterpart because of unfair burden placed on them by the society.
Its a pity that the so called Patriarchal society and laws written by men are so anti men and pro women. While I agree that women in Africa are still badly treated and need more empowerment as a gender, they also need to start acting like independent people whose life should not depend on a man.
If women want equality, they should start acting like equals of men in all respect and stop looking for any form of preferential treatment from men while giving little or nothing back in return.

Women complain that men are the problem of the world but if you look at how they behave today in the west, you will know that given them power means more problem for the society because they have entitlement mentality. Many of them care about themselves alone or expect men to do almost everything for them yet claim to want equal right. Equal right to me should mean equal responsibility so it is time they start doing exactly what the men are doing.

Something need to be done to all the people involved in the torture. I still not believe that people can be this mean. People that can identify any of the people in the picture should speak out so that those wicked people can be put in jail.

I am very much ashamed that people can be tortured just because of pepper. This is indeed the effect of poverty. The worst thing is if you really check, you'll discover that the alleged amount of goods stolen might even be up to 2,000 Naira.
I am really short of words and those men and everybody involved in the torture should suffer same fate and also go to jail.

segzy14: what type of duplex and what stage do u want the price for? A house built with red bricks is a good idea, in abuja we have several buildings built with bricks and it is called brick city, it is located along kubwa, deidei road in abuja.

Can you drop an email to contact you?

I will like to know the price for a Duplex and also what you think about a house built with red brick

Ayoola171: I believe this world itself is beyond man's reasoning (Mystereous), i believe graduatn frm University with best grade is an added advantage over fellow with lesser grades, but i'm afraid how some people here attached life success to University grades, what of those people that never made it to University talkless of graduatn; can we say they are prone to failure? I believe u can still make best out of urself irrespectful of ur present challenges, it's all a functn of urself. Even d world of God testify i.e "As a man thinketh; so be it". Why some ppl are now sayn thirdies are failures, unless if they themselfs admit they are. Read this " I remember, when i was told you are not going to play football again; and all hope was lost, i prayed and i came back to win trophies" Kanu Nwankwo. So pals, "If it's going to be; is up to me, the me i see; is the me i'll be. Thanks.

I very much understand what you are trying to say. The problem is that many people that graduate with low grade in the university try to justify their failure by given excuses like its cool to have such a bad grade or that they have no bad feeling and that graduating with a first class or 2-1 makes no difference to them. It is that self denial that pisses lot of people. It is better to accept your fate and try to work very hard to achieve in other areas in life rather than trying to make a rubbish of the hardwork of students that graduate with a better grade. An example is the guy saying first class graduate are working under him like he has achieved something in that regard and you will notice that not a single 1st class or 2-1 graduate here have made such a silly comment and I am sure that if 1st class and 2-1 graduate start talking about their achievements in life as a result of their good grade, most of these guys bragging about their poor grades viz-a-viz achievement will shut up in shame.
The point is accept you fate and work hard in life to achieve something rather than talking trash about people with better university grade.

Elgaxton: First class doesn't necessarily mean you are intelligent. For the most, it means you were serious while in school.

Same goes for third class honors too.

Follow your passion

Big lie. If you study 365 days in a year nonstop and you are not intelligent, you can never make a first class. Likewise if you are intelligent and not serious, you cannot make a first class. You need both intelligent and hardwork to make a first class

pembisco: park well jor! Dts if u evn got a car

Its better to shut up if you are ignorant than making a fool of yourself.

godfreyakpoguma: this is pure fact not propaganda,30yrs ago 3rd class graduates get good job in naija,then d standard was solid. Ask questions for older people so u don't get lost.

This is absolute nonsense. I did my BSc in Engineering at the University of Lagos and all of my lecturers who graduated in the 60's and 70's were first class and 2-1 graduates in their time. I said you should name just one university and you are talking nonsense about older people. Get a third class in the UK where they still have good quality education and see if you will get a job. I did my MSc in a country where the minimum pass mark to get a university degree is 60% and you see that there are no average student in the university and everybody is extra smart. Only the competent people should go to university and not everybody. You cannot even do an MSc in many university with a 2-2 let alone a 3rd class. You seem to be in another planet call delusion!

lepasharon: Watch your words.. third class is understandable for science degree programs cos they're harder..but yeah, its still not desirable...

Just because you or someone close to you made a third class in a science related course doesn't mean it is understandable. It either means your ability is not strong enough to do the course or you were unserious while in the university. University education is also not compulsory if you cannot cope with the stress in a course or on the other hand, you can switch to less difficult course. People that make 1st class don't have 2 heads or 2 brains. They are simply both smart and hard working people.

Pasca07: There are lots of third class graduates working with federal Govt parastatals,even the dis year immigration recruitment accept third class graduates

That is exactly why the Federal Government parastatal are what they are today. A virtually non functional work environment because too many unqualified people work there.

godfreyakpoguma: The issue of grade is taken seriously because we are taught in d universities to be job seekers. Most lecturers dat taught u in skul graduated with 3rd class. Upgrade ursef n forget d past,u wud bcom a failure if u can't upgrade ursef after graduate,in dat case ur tellin ursef u hv no brain.

A graduate should not be spreading lies and false propaganda like this just because he/ she want to soothe his/her ego. Name one of the Universities you are talking about.

Donsammi: Not the 1st tym ! Even bill Gates a sch dropper now employs full tym quaduate

fxx2: you even tried to graduate.

I got admission in 1999 but after two years, I got bored with classes and lectures.

I set up a business center and in few months, could not have time for lectures. by the time my mates were graduating, I produced their project reports and the likes. I produced many handouts and textbooks for my lecturers.

the business was incorporated and now I operate many branches.

I am now a student of National Open University of Nigeria.

by the way, do you know anything about Bill Gate?

You guy should stop typing nonsense here. Bill Gate from day one was smarter than the average person around and he had a near perfect SAT score (1590 out of 1600) while his closest friend Paul Allen who was later a founding partner of Microsoft with Gate, had a perfect score( 1600 out of 1600) in SAT. Paul Allen was the first to drop out of Washington State university and later convinced Bill Gate to also drop out of Harvard University so that they can build their company together which was already growing. These guys are not the average struggling student and should not be used as an example of students who failed in school and was able to succeed in life.
Also America is not Nigeria. You can earn a living with your high school or technical degree and live a good life in America. It is much harder to do that in Nigeria and there are lots of companies, investors and hedge funds ready to sponsor you if you have a bright idea in the US. Those opportunities are just not here in Nigeria so you will really struggle to make ends meet if you graduate with a third class even if have lots of idea because over 70% of potential sponsors/ investors will be turned off just by going through your CV and seeing the 3rd class. That is not to say there are no successful third class holder but it is just more difficult to be successful in Nigeria.

morizboe: Alright..........I also want to ask thes questions. Why didn't they issue me with a schengen visa? Are students visa not meant to be schengen or is it that they will give It to me when I arrive there?

Do you know about Turkish airline too?

You will be given a residence card when you arrive in Denmark which allows you to travel to all Schengen countries. You can also apply for a 6 months Schengen visa at no cost for travelling out of Denmark pending when you receive your residence card after registering with the Immigration.