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Family / Re: From The Son Of A Feminist by 401kk: 11:18am On Nov 10, 2012 |
Mynd_44: Actually, that was an isolated case of a mentally unstable mother. She was mentally unstable, but she won the harriet freezer award? And how did you come to the conclusion that it's an isolated case- your own research, or baseless conjectures? |
Family / Re: From The Son Of A Feminist by 401kk: 10:17am On Nov 10, 2012 |
So the question is: Should people like these (feminists) be allowed near children? |
Family / From The Son Of A Feminist by 401kk: 10:14am On Nov 10, 2012 |
From the son of a feminist My name is Edgar van de Giessen. I am 45 years old and I am the son of one of the former leading feminists in Holland in the seventies of the last century. My mother was the first woman to receive the Harriet Freezer Award, given out by your organization Opzij for outstanding feminist activism. I do not write this to seek any personal sympathy. I write this to share my heart, so that maybe one day men and women may live in love and respect, and not just in mutual legal equality. Before I describe the personal consequences of the feminist upbringing I received as a boy between the age of 7 and 17, I want to express my respect for all women and men who rightfully protest against repression and discrimination on the basis of gender, skin color, or ethnic background. Therefore I would like you to imagine how it is for an growing boy in the age of ten to hear every day from his mother that men are the cause of all trouble in the world, that men are guilty of all crime and war and repression in the world, that all men should be castrated after their semen has been deep-frozen to ensure the existence of the next generation, that men should live in different cities than women, so that they could all kill each other and so solve the problem of their own existence. This is the kind of feminist teaching that I received every day, and created in me a deep mistrust in myself, in male authority, and a feeling of never being able to be good or lovable as a human being because of my maleness. This caused in me a reaction of proving my mother that at least I as her son was different than other men. This quickly turned into arrogance against other men that made me lonely and bare of friends for most of my life. It also caused in me a hate toward women and an anger that I could only repress, because expressing it would prove my mother to be right. This repression thus turned me into a "nice" man as a compensation for the repression who then inevitably held a hidden hate and aggression against women with fantasies of rape and violence. As a result of all of these effects of a rabid feminist's effect on her son, I needed 25 years of therapeutic and spiritual search and deep emotional healing to begin to find my own self-value and to start to experience fulfilling relationships with myself, men and women. The war between the sexes is still unsolved. Divorce rates speak their own sad truth. Violence between men and women still fills the newspapers and feminism has not been able to solve this problem. In my personal case, feminism itself, as it is expressed in ways your organization specifically espouses, in large part created the problems and not prevented them. And if feminism causes men to hate women by cursing the darkness and not lighting an effective candle, feminism needs to ask itself if it is aware enough of the human heart and its complexity to be able to solve the problems it describes. When my mother was giving her feministic lectures and tirades to me as a boy, she never felt once, in all those years, how her words and energies were landing in her own son. Personal love transacts through the ability to feel what the other person is feeling while (s)he is feeling it. The emotional wounding that my mother gave me did not come only from her words, but also in her not-feeling how her words impacted me as a little boy. In these ways, my mother had her own emotional wounding that turned her into a proudly man-hating, feministic unfeeling woman whose antipathy against men in ways supported by your organization turned in me as a hate against myself and against women. What I want to say, is that however some aspects of feminism have an important role in creating equal rights for women, feminism does not have a positive contribution to how men and women can live in respect and love for each other. My intensive feminist upbringing created exactly the opposite. An emotionally healthy man will never have any wish to oppress a woman. An emotionally healthy woman will never have any wish to beat the man with his own weapons. The feminism of the seventies and eighties whose legacy you inherit is a reactive movement that used the same oppressive energy as it was trying to fight against, instead of working with, the real issues, and therefore can never be successful in creating an atmosphere where loving and powerful femininity could blossom in a trusting and respectful atmosphere towards male strength. I do feel and understand that women can only respect male strength if that is rooted in openhearted vulnerability, but feminism and the emancipation movement failed to bring forth a generation of such men and in itself does not have the means to do so. In that way, the feministic movement does not and cannot acknowledge the seminal repercussions of the fact that every man is raised in large part by a woman, and that his adult relationship to women consciously and unconsciously is determined in this large part by his relationship to his mother. Why hasn't feminism created a vision on how to raise boys into loving and strong men, upon whom women can trust and love? How can it happen that boys turn into men that repress, hate, despise or do not respect women? I am convinced, that if a boy receives healthy emotional love from his mother, this cannot happen! It that sense, feminism has always lacked a vision of what emotional health is, how emotionally healthy love can be transacted from one human heart to the other, from mother to son, from father to daughter, from man to woman and from woman to man. Without this vision, whose lack can never be addressed within the myopia feminism has about the human heart, regardless of gender, feminism remains a mere reactive movement that thus incorporates the very themes in men it teaches are wrong, and sadly will never allow it to ever achieve its own purpose. Sincerely, Edgar van de Giessen |
Family / Re: Are Nigerian Men Taking-Up More Domestic Responsibilities In The Home? by 401kk: 7:30pm On Nov 08, 2012 |
Shollypopz: Trash |
Family / Re: Are Nigerian Men Taking-Up More Domestic Responsibilities In The Home? by 401kk: 6:42pm On Nov 08, 2012 |
stillwater: Thats why we have gender roles. |
Politics / Igbos Embarrasing Themselves On Nairaland. SMH by 401kk: 6:23pm On Nov 08, 2012 |
Family / Re: Are Nigerian Men Taking-Up More Domestic Responsibilities In The Home? by 401kk: 6:10pm On Nov 08, 2012 |
Most men don't like doing house chores, even if they are capable of doing it. its like telling them to wear skirts and put on a lipstick. i personally don't like house chores, even though my mother tried her best to instill them on me and my brothers (we are six boys), we still weren't concerned, at times we did it just to please and make her happy but it didnt change our resentment towards house chores. Even if I get married tommorow, if my wife can't keep up with the domestic chores, then i'll have to hire a maid because i cant imagine my cooking and cleaning, not that i find it demeaning or whatever. its just me |
Romance / Re: Women: What Do You Think Men Want In A Woman? by 401kk: 5:56pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
wildorchid: Proof? |
Romance / Re: Women: What Do You Think Men Want In A Woman? by 401kk: 5:04pm On Nov 06, 2012 |
wildorchid: Good-looks, good manners, good sex, good food. So how many of those qualities do you possess? |
Religion / Re: What Did Jesus Sacrifice? by 401kk: 5:32pm On Nov 05, 2012 |
J12: 1) I thought it was an execution. Ok. Good explanation. |
Religion / What Did Jesus Sacrifice? by 401kk: 1:55pm On Nov 04, 2012 |
Not his life, since he's alive. Not his body, since he, as the Bible says, ascended bodily into Heaven. So his time? An eternal being loses a couple of days? That's like me blinking my eye when I don't need to, thus "sacrificing" my vision for a fraction of a second. Is it right to call that a sacrifice, probably not. So his comfort maybe? Again, is it right to call a few very uncomfortable hours a sacrifice for an eternal being? On human time that's like poking yourself with a toothpick. Even if it hurts a lot it's over before you know it. When one lives forever, more than a million billion trillion years, half a day of torture is a infinitesimally small amount of time. (But all this is a moot point since Jesus sure was fine and dandy on Sunday morning so it obviously wasn't that bad for him anyways). Man. I am just confused as to what Jesus actually sacrificed. Can anyone help me out? |
Religion / Re: Atheists Are More "Moral" Than Christians/muslims (the Evidence). Do You Accept? by 401kk: 9:42am On Nov 04, 2012 |
OP I thought atheists posited that morality is subjective, so why the unnecessary juxtapositions? |
Religion / Re: Atheists Are More "Moral" Than Christians/muslims (the Evidence). Do You Accept? by 401kk: 9:40am On Nov 04, 2012 |
blink182: My mind still can not understand how one labels himself for destruction. I am really sorry for all atheists and this thread proves nothing. This is a funny statement you know that right? According to the bible, you and the atheist will both be going to hell. |
Romance / Re: Would You Marry A Lady That Propose Marriage to you ? by 401kk: 10:28am On Oct 30, 2012 |
Mrs.Chima: Liar. Are you the only nairalander living in america? |
Celebrities / Re: Picture Of Barack And Michelle Obama As Kids by 401kk: 8:50pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Should this concern me? I think not |
Romance / Re: . by 401kk: 8:18pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
sexkillz: BULLSHIT! Having faith in god is bullshit? I thought you were a christian? |
Romance / Re: . by 401kk: 8:11pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
AS, that means ashawo, abi? 1 Like |
Car Talk / Re: Honda Makes A Car Exclusively For Women by 401kk: 8:08pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
looks like a honda city(which is also a ladies car). |
Music/Radio / Re: Blogger Replies Trace Urban, Mocks Loyal Nigerian Artistes. by 401kk: 7:49pm On Oct 26, 2012 |
Thats what you get for not having up to standard entertainment channels 1 Like |
Celebrities / Re: Carlton From Fresh Prince Gets Married by 401kk: 5:29pm On Oct 18, 2012 |
Lovely wife |
Business / No More Google Ads On Nairaland? by 401kk: 1:09pm On Sep 25, 2012 |
From the look of recent changes on the forum, it seems Mr Osewa has ended his romance with Google. Nice one though, I hope its profitable decision. |
Business / Re: Guys, Let's Talk Business by 401kk: 7:57am On Sep 11, 2012 |
DANILSA: @sexy I think u might be wrong, everybody here are not computer gurus, for me although I have 24/7 working modem paid by the office, I hav never done online biz because I believe it's fake and dubious and I can hardly comment on this issue because I know little about the computer world except social media and sending my official report. I don't think anybody in this forum is an island, we always have something to learn from others, u don't know my field than I do. U saying people are stealing ur ideas is a way of demoralising others interested in helping create awareness. Check the comments from pacesetter and businesstools and compare with yours. The worst a man can do is to die with his knowledge. I understand where 2sexy is coming from. In internet marketing, we don't reveal secrets anyhow, rather we sell them. Internet businesses are quite different from physical business, if you reveal a secret or classified info carelessly, you might burn your fingers because before you know it, you won't be making a dime from your own business methods anymore. The internet is filled with leechers, especially on nairaland. I've learnt some lessons on nairaland already, there's a guy I helped here, I gave him my own personal method of making money online easily. This guy has not said thank you till today. So thats why alot of us are reluctant to give information anyhow. |
Business / Re: Google Generated Over $37 Billion From Pay Per Click Adverts In 2011 by 401kk: 12:43am On Sep 11, 2012 |
Google is the most profitable internet company and it will remain so for a very long time.. |
Business / Re: Guys, Let's Talk Business by 401kk: 12:38am On Sep 11, 2012 |
Cool thread. I'm watching |
Romance / Re: A Kim Kardashian Or A Michelle Obama? by 401kk: 3:13pm On Sep 07, 2012 |
Kim is now a prostitute? Lol |
Romance / Re: A Kim Kardashian Or A Michelle Obama? by 401kk: 3:08pm On Sep 07, 2012 |
The hypocrisy in this thread reeks! * spits on thread* 1 Like |
Romance / Re: A Kim Kardashian Or A Michelle Obama? by 401kk: 7:12pm On Sep 06, 2012 |
slimyem: I know there's almost no basis for comparisons here except that they are both successful american women. 1. Kim is not a trophy wife 2. Kim is also warm, down-to-earth, open etc. I don't know what a well groomed women is. 3. Majority of men will go after Kim because she's beautiful. That doesn't mean they're shallow or what not. 4. What are those real assets in Mrs Obama? 5. It's very funny that you call Kim chaff. . .thats just stupidd! You claim she's successful, yet you call her a trophy and chaff. 6. Your spite towards Nigerian men will get you nowhere. Okonjo Iweala, Diezani Madueke, Oby Ezekwesili etc are all married to faithful nigerian men. I know how you feel though. |
Business / Monetization101 by 401kk: 10:50am On Sep 06, 2012 |
Ok. I decided to start a thread that will be dedicated to teaching you folks all about internet marketing. A lot of people are interested in making money from internet marketing but they don't know how to go about it. So, in this thread, I'll start with basics to the advanced methods. So stay tuned. |
Politics / Re: Buhari Coup Was Done In Ignorance- Lar by 401kk: 10:32am On Sep 06, 2012 |
Seems he's still ignorant. . . 2 Likes |
Politics / Re: Am Alive And Well says Deziani Alison-Madueke, Petroleum Minister by 401kk: 6:27pm On Sep 05, 2012 |
I hope the bad belle nairalanders digest this news well. 1 Like |
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