u dey mind them. i heard of one poor igbo guy that paid a girl to marry him just for papers, the yeye boy was working very hard at various odd jobs, now the girl says she is in love with him and if he does not accept her she will blow the whistle, imagine!

if the guy isnt in a relationship and the girl is presentable, no be win win situation?

this kind of thing is quite common actually.

A far worse scenario is when a woman pays someone to marry her so she can get her papers and the man now insists she must perform "wifely" duties ie intimacy, since after all they're now married.

some women did not envisage that.

^^ that is soo off topic

but i would like to no

where have u seen that b4??

cos i cant imagine a non nigerian doin summin like that

and i wont like to imagine a nigerian with a passport that is soo jobless??

ayettymama:

i mean there is no written in stone definition of the term

but i would like u to note that i used the term 'casual relationships'

and not 'casual intimacy'

thats the whole point--- it could be the same man for a yr it could be for 2 it could be an ex

if its multiple then its something else! but th ewhole point is that there is openess

one can leave at any time-

yes i hear u abt africa- but its also said in africa one shouldnt be havin intimacy at all??

society doesnt neccesarily frown on it----- its just the society 'here' that does

Using the word 'relationship' makes it's complicated.
I think it's better to label the box clearly and remind yourselves all the time what's going on . . . Friends With Benefits is perfect.
Truth be told, many of my 'casual relationships' have ended with me 'cheating' . . . it's usually the 'if you're going to do another girl, make sure it's sumone better than me' excuse.

But then the Legend gave me the rules and it's been cool ever since.

Society frowns on it . . . that's so obvious, where's 'here'??
Female players are labelled 'used amd dumped hos' . . .

ayettymama:

^^ that is soo off topic

but i would like to no

where have u seen that b4??

I've heard horror stories but it really does happen. Some men will insist on sleeping with the woman even if it's a fake marriage.

cos i cant imagine a non nigerian doin summin like that

really?

even Nigerian fit do am, talkless non nigerian.

and i wont like to imagine a nigerian with a passport that is soo jobless??

not sure I get this.

You mean you cant imagine a Nigerian with papers agreeing to be paid to marry someone?

davidylan:

I'm speaking from experience. I've had no less than 3-4 chances at casual intimacy in the last 3 weeks alone . . . somethings are just not worth it. intimacy with someone you dont love, who u're not committed to and who isnt your wife is just wrong and meaningless.

there are better things to do than casual flings . . . trust me, it doesnt affect the quality of your life.

You do have a point there in that sometimes it ain't worth it.

On the other hand I'll say if you ain't hurting no one, I see no reason for you turn it down.
It's just a one off fling, isn't it?

davidylan:

lol bro. I think its basically nonsense. I believe in having self discipline . . .

Why don't i believe this statement?

~Sauron~:

Why don't i believe this statement?

What's you take on casual sexucation?

~Sauron~:

Why don't i believe this statement?

you best believe it.

chic2pimp:

You do have a point there in that sometimes it ain't worth it.

On the other hand I'll say if you ain't hurting no one, I see no reason for you turn it down.
It's just a one off fling, isn't it?

Its not as easy as you think but we are all different and so see things quite differently. Been down that road before . . . i personally dont think casual sex or a casual relationship leading no where is worth the stress. I think a lot of these females know that to be true but are simply pretending.

eldee:

Using the word 'relationship' makes it's complicated.
I think it's better to label the box clearly and remind yourselves all the time what's going on . . . Friends With Benefits is perfect.
Truth be told, many of my 'casual relationships' have ended with me 'cheating' . . . it's usually the 'if you're going to do another girl, make sure it's sumone better than me' excuse.

But then the Legend gave me the rules and it's been cool ever since.

Society frowns on it . . . that's so obvious, where's 'here'??
Female players are labelled 'used amd dumped hos' . . .

if u say legend one more time *throws fist*

not really---- nobodu is using anybody nobody is dumping anybody

im actually yet to meet a used and dumped ho to be honest

when they are both adults the FWB thing prob coins it properly

ive heard many things 'hes my lover' 'hes my fbuddy' FWB is soo soap opera sha!

its diff if like sumone said a guy is a player and hes simply 'playing' the women

with u 'cheating' if theres someone new in ur life u respect-- then thats the q to move on

i mean society is different from society maybe its seen differently from the perspective of most of the guys here

cos this----he can but she cant has dissapeared, it really has i think its onli in africa they are yet to let it go!

davidylan:

Its not as easy as you think but we are all different and so see things quite differently. Been down that road before . . . i personally dont think casual intimacy or a casual relationship leading no where is worth the stress. I think a lot of these females know that to be true but are simply pretending.

I agree with you 100%,

chamotex:

What's you take on casual sexucation?

It's very HEALTHY.
A man should never pass up the opportunity of a one-night stand.
It's good for the body n soul. Hit ONCE and never go back to avoid em drama.

davidylan:

you best believe it.

I will try. . . . .

gys pls stay on topic

have ur discussions on another thread
yes yes weve heard u its a lie

if u dont believe it take an exit pls

I've had no less than 3-4 chances at casual intimacy in the last 3 weeks alone

in most parts of the world, and especially in the west, casual sex is as common as anything.

3-4 in 3 weeks may even be a low figure.

Kenny_G:

I agree with you 100%,

Kenny G, whats your own take on this issue?

davidylan:

you best believe it.

Its not as easy as you think but we are all different and so see things quite differently. Been down that road before . . . i personally dont think casual intimacy or a casual relationship leading no where is worth the stress. I think a lot of these females know that to be true but are simply pretending.

That's where the both of us differ.
You see STRESS, while I on the other hand see PIECE OF MIND .
Can you explain to me what is so stressful about casual intimacy?

chamotex:

Kenny G, whats your own take on this issue?

Chamotex, when did you become Larry King?

chamotex:

Kenny G, whats your own take on this issue?

any woman who openly advocates casual NSA relationship needs is either "damaged" emotionally or is giving "something" out, men on the other hand will do what most people do when you go to a car showroom, test drive the car and attempt to get away with not making any committment whatsoever, its sucks, unfortunately the cards are not evenly stacked

davidylan:

you best believe it.

Its not as easy as you think but we are all different and so see things quite differently. Been down that road before . . . i personally dont think casual intimacy or a casual relationship leading no where is worth the stress. I think a lot of these females know that to be true but are simply pretending.

It's only when you drag it that you begin to ask if it's leading anywhere.
Make it short as can be and you won't need to worry about that.

~Sauron~:

Chamotex, when did you become Larry King?

I'm doing a research on this issue and deadline is fast approaching.
I'm working on percentages

Kenny_G:

any woman who openly advocates casual NSA relationship needs is either "damaged" emotionally or is giving "something" out, men on the other hand will do what most people do when you go to a car showroom, test drive the car and attempt to get away with not making any committment whatsoever, its sucks, unfortunately the cards are not evenly stacked

Could you explain what you mean by 'something' here . . . better yet give examples?

eldee:

It's only when you drag it that you begin to ask if it's leading anywhere.
Make it short as can be and you won't need to worry about that.

When you say 'short', please can you give a maximum timeframe?

chamotex:

Could you explain what you mean by 'something' here . . . better yet give examples?

something = STI=HIV, Herpes, AIDS, Gono, Clamy

Kenny_G:

something = STI=HIV, Herpes, AIDS, Gono, Clamy

Anyone doing such and dont stay protected is DUMB!

ayettymama:

if u say legend one more time *throws fist*

Legend has it that violent women give a lot of hickies . . . do you agree??

ayettymama:

i mean society is different from society maybe its seen differently from the perspective of most of the guys here

cos this----he can but she cant has dissapeared, it really has i think its onli in africa they are yet to let it go!

That's what you think . . . you're still part of that same African society, in a little way.
You saying things like 'I can't date Nigerian men cus . . . ' makes you one of em.

eldee:

It's only when you drag it that you begin to ask if it's leading anywhere.
Make it short as can be and you won't need to worry about that.

I agree 100%

Women tend to see feet when they should be seeing hands.
The KEY is not to treat her like something MORE than she is. . . .Don't cuddle with her and talk about the brand of woman you're going to marry either.

Don't bring up anything that would lead her to believe that maybe you want more than just a casual session with her every once in a while.
Women pride themselves on being able to read between the lines, if necessary. . . .avoid after-shagg conversations.

Just wear your pants and buzz off.

chamotex:

When you say 'short', please can you give a maximum timeframe?

There's no maximum time-frame, just make it punctuated.
Like do stuff for a month, and don't call her for two months, and then call again after some time.
It helps to kill emotional attachment.

~Sauron~:

Just wear your pants and buzz off.

What if it wasn't an away fixture?
Say you were playing on home turf?

eldee:

There's no maximum time-frame, just make it punctuated.
Like do stuff for a month, and don't call her for two months, and then call again after some time.
It helps to kill emotional attachment.

2 months is a lil too much in my opinion . . . just keep contact occasionally. A short text will do.

~Sauron~:

I agree 100%

Women tend to see feet when they should be seeing hands.
The KEY is not to treat her like something MORE than she is. . . .Don't cuddle with her and talk about the brand of woman you're going to marry either.

Don't bring up anything that would lead her to believe that maybe you want more than just a casual session with her every once in a while.
Women pride themselves on being able to read between the lines, if necessary. . . .avoid after-shagg conversations.

Just wear your pants and buzz off.

Dude . . . you're so right.
Kill communication . . . never ever do couple stuff.
Everything you do together must end with sex.

chamotex:

What if it wasn't an away fixture?
Say you were playing on home turf?

Always be the first to call her a cab.
It's a message.

chamotex:

2 months is a lil too much in my opinion . . . just keep contact occasionally. A short text will do.

Remember it's a two-way thing . . . and the woman might need to bang every once in a while.
So two months reminds her that, we're still doing this thing.

tpia.:

in most parts of the world, and especially in the west, casual intimacy is as common as anything.

3-4 in 3 weeks may even be a low figure.

quite true. Like i said . . . its different strokes for different folks.

chic2pimp:

That's where the both of us differ.
You see STRESS, while I on the other hand see PIECE OF MIND .
Can you explain to me what is so stressful about casual intimacy?

Peace of mind where? I really cant see how you can be at peace with casual sex with someone who means nothing to you. Dont you at least worry about STDs? Here is my own opinion . . . you can disagree with it - casual sex prevents you from establishing a firm and committed relationship with that one person you intend to spend the rest of your life with (i'm assuming you have that as a future goal).  You do not learn to be faithful to one partner over-night, its a habit you cultivate even when the pressure to be faithful does not exist.

Casual sex/relationships is simply the slippery road to disillusionment.

eldee:

It's only when you drag it that you begin to ask if it's leading anywhere.
Make it short as can be and you won't need to worry about that.

Short or not i like to ask myself two questions every night before i go to bed - What did i achieve today? Of what benefit was it to me?

chamotex:

What if it wasn't an away fixture?
Say you were playing on home turf?

Go to the loo and have your home boys call you back feigning something like an emergency.
Of course, something beyond your control just came up and you must attend to it sharp sharp.
Call 2 different cabs- Hers and yours. . . .BINGO!

Diva 2.0:

Casual relationships tend to get boring quick.

The one we had wasn't boring until you missed your period.

davidylan:

Short or not i like to ask myself two questions every night before i go to bed - What did i achieve today? Of what benefit was it to me?

What did I achieve today?? I banged a chic that needed me to do her.

Of what benefit?? It's good exercise