₦airaland Forum

LadyT:
If you slap expect to get slapped back! It don't matter which way round it is.

That will stop all these slappers we have round here

smart idea.

chiegemba:
4 one it sure would lead 2 a separation. . . y in d world would u want 2 snap? i sure didnt get married 2 a maniac who can't control his anger using his wife as what? . . . a bait? . . . . "beats my imagination though"

haba madam. we are all humans, can you honestly tell us you've not gone off your tether before in anger?
Its nothing to do with being a maniac, remember that men find it much easier to physically express themselves than women. It may be one more reason a man is more likely to boil over with his fists than his brain.

LadyT:
4Him the only way he would be justified is if she was nagging him and pushing and shoving him!
I'm sorry too bad you lost your job and you are stressed.  As a unit (husband and wife) I will be just as stressed as you.  I don't go round slapping faces!

that, my dear, happens in many many homes. I'm glad you at least admit that most times the woman is perhaps at fault, i'm not saying you shld slap your wife if she nags but a woman's tongue can literarily push a man over the edge.

chiegemba:
"In Error"? makes me wonder what that really means

it does happen, maybe he never meant it, things happen in a flash that we cant explain minutes later.
People react differently in anger, even so-called good natured women have been known to get physical on rare occassions.

chiegemba:
@ 4him . . . . based on your question y would d husband ever have d thought of raisin his hand on his wife after 3kids and that extended length of marriage? Do u think she really needs 2 wait 2 find out if he's a chronic abuser?

Scenarios occur that we cant really explain. I see men who have probably lost a job, are frustrated, cant cope with the pressue outside and at home. They snap, before they can collect themselves they've landed a slap on the woman's face.

Would you divorce him?

stillwater:
@ topic

No I can't marry a man that hits me. I am not a trouble maker in person, so what would warrant a slap from him unless he has issues?

just suppose it ever happened that he slapped you in error?

~Antidote~:
Mr.Agricultural science graduate,

and they cry about people making false accusations without facts. lol the irony.

~Antidote~:
you are too "dark" for my liking,

real women arent complaining.  

Thank you ma'am, can we get back on topic please? Everything really isnt all about you is it . . .

Some people need to be reminded that signatures are there for the user to employ it FIRST.

Cadet:
When you're ready to really get back to topic, plz reply the topic. New man, David?

old things are passed away . . . behold . . .  

Ok i pose a question to you, would you leave a marriage (10yrs, 3 kids) because the man hits you? Remember its his first time ever.

~Antidote~:
And yes we were exchanging Ideas( NO insults) until Nairaland Mr.Put-to-right, came on, Don't know when some people would learn that the world doesn't revolve around them, and that sometimes people just cannot be bothered with their half-baked opinion,

madam dont bother replying if you're so not bothered. its not rocket science. Allow people with brains to contribute pls.

LadyT:
I just realised who Antidote was.  Her and 4Him have a long history

I just hope we don't try this into a Islander and 4Him WWpart 78!

nah, 4 Him is a new man . . . i've got better things to do than scuffle with intellectual dwarfs who think shouting is synonymous with debating.

Back to topic pls.

_{swatting the ever buzzing gnat that likes to pretend its an elephant. If it didnt care why is it replying?}

bawomolo:
there are many cases of nigerian women who are abused for decades but refuse to file for divorce due to cultural or religious reasons. most women would stick it out all in the name of "love". this includes the independent women of nairaland.

Very true. Culture plays a very significant role here . . . we are from a culture where its almost a given that men are allowed to be a little abusive. There are even women who will tell you they prefer to marry a man who can "handle" them (read that to mean manhandle).

Will such women be willing to admit spousal abuse?

~Antidote~:
Can you show me where I stated such??PLEASE,
Look here, don't EVER lie on me, If you have a problem with my OPINION( NOT Scriptual) then attack that, but don't go around posting shit about me without getting your facts straight,

give us all a break hypocrite. You do this all the time dont you?
Need me to give u just one or two reminders?

some people think they are a little more than a speck in webdust.

Back to topic pls.

LadyT:
Men can be monsters but girls we arent too far behind!

thank you o jare. Men this men that . . . every minute.

Buster Douglas was no chump. Watch his fight with Tyson . . . it was a battle of intelligence.

~Antidote~:
I am NOT even going to waste my time going down that road with you, Saying women pretend the most, is like saying ALL Nigerians do fraud. In other words, Men pretend and Women pretend as well. There are NO winners where this is concerned.

finito. Enough of blaming men for global warming.

~Antidote~:
And what is so wrong about a 5ft 4in woman standing up to a 6ft 3in man? Yea, he may beat the crap out of her, but the fact that she showed him she's no coward would stir something inside of him.

It is just so wrong on too many levels. Being a bully and trying to slap your husband is not a mature way of showing you're not a coward . . . infact it merely cements the fact that you're a kid in adult skin.

~Antidote~:
AS I earlier said, I do NOT condone physical, verbal or psychological abuse in anyway, However, I won't just dump my husband on the first sign of trouble, I would try to work things out and if it persists, then I take other steps,

Dont lets beat around the bush, the above is bull. you're a very abusive person so stop pretending with all these theory.

My point on topic, you're husband may hit you by mistake . . . let him know its wrong, make him appologize and make it up to you . . . then bury the hatchet and move on as a family.
If he's a chronic abuser then he needs help, get out of his house before he kills you.

Cadet:
So what's your solution? that she should let him continue slapping her? Lay low? Talk to a heedless man?

Read my post again, there is a caveat there that indicates the woman should take drastic action if the man is a chronic abuser.

~Antidote~:
[/b]

That is ONLY my opinion, It may work, it may NOT work, It's left to be seen.  No one dreams or wishes to be in an abusive relationship, but shit happens.  Who knows, maybe caught in such a situation I may not even know what to do. But as it stands now, I would rather fight back Who knows maybe he will see I am NOT an easy pushover and rethink before lifting his hands,

Bull. Try showing a 6ft 3in 220lb guy that you're not a pushover.

~Antidote~:
@StephenP
DOn't fool yourself dread, Men are great pretenders.  During the courtship they can be angels, as soon as they place that ring on your finger then it's a whole different ball game.  The truth is, one can never tell.  While there may be some warning signs, most times there arent.  It's a risk some of us ladies are not willing to take,

Ditto for women. I'm tired of all this "men this men that . . ."
Women pretend the most. They are all nice and cuddly while dating, soon as they become installed as wives the headaches, tiredness, nagging, snapped replies, bitchy claws come into the equation.

So much hot air for nothing especially from the hypocritical mu'slims.

1 Corinthians 11:13 Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray to God uncovered? 14 Does not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame to him? 15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering. 16 But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God.

Verse 13: clearly Paul is letting the brethren know that this is their own opinion.

Verse 15: Clearly indicates that the woman's hair is to her a covering.

Verse 16: Clearly tells us that women covering their hair is not a commandment neither is it a custom. Women are encouraged to cover their hair as a symbol of being under the authority of a christian husband (not just any riffraff).

StephenP:
[size=13pt]Ladies, the moment your man hits you, lock the door and beat the shit out of him, call the police and pack your stuff and leave, if you can. If you can't, please don't hit him because that will only aggravate him more, instead simply skip the first step and just call the cops and leave.[/size]

how does this solve the problem? unless the man is known to be a chronic abuser then you really dont need to get this drastic.

Nobody shld assume that i'm condoning wife beating, far from it. But i like to be realistic here . . . what would you achieve with 5 kids and a husband locked behind bars just for slapping you?

~Antidote~:
@topic,
while I do not condone physical abuse in any shape, form or size, I won't just pack and leave my matrimonial home if my husband lost his senses and hit me.  First of, I will hit him to hell back, and if it becomes habitual, then some drastic steps would definitely be taken.  

It somehow amazes me how MOST women will stick it out in a Verbally abusive marriage/relationship, but shy away from one where a few slaps are distributed, I would take a "loving slap" over a firey tongue any day, However, don't expect me to take the slap "lying down", [b]I am too much of a pitbull.[/b]I will be punching back, This is ONLY my 2cents and I won't come here and lie.

pray and how does this help the situation?

Unless you want to live a cat and mouse marriage, this is a most unreasonable attitude.

Barca na wa o. Humble pie is bitter.

lai lai, never, no way . . . too many people are obviously decieving themselves here.
There is no excuse for a man to beat his wife but face it ladies, after 3 kids will you just pack your bags and head out the door because of a slap?

Where is the room for forgiveness?

Barca why now?

we helped in South Africa, what we got back in return was the imposition of severe travel restrictions on Nigerians.
Let Zimbabwe help themselves.

doncaster, get your kleenex ready.

mayweather aint no Ali.
Mayweather doesnt even come close to the likes of Mike Tyson, Michael Spinks, George Foreman.

the demise of Man U is right now.
2-1 to Barca.

beans

~Antidote~:
@Jackal,
What time is the game? I am praying and fasting as we speak , Ronaldo( my other boyfriend) will score a hatrick against those spaniards , Amen,

dont waste your prayer, Ronaldo will be in Abidal's pocket all day, Vidic will not be fit and Rooney is a massive doubt for the game.
All signs point to a disgraceful defeat in the hands of Barcelona.

bawomolo:
Simplify( complex number)

(5 + 2i)(- 3 -5i)

i think the answer is -31i - 5

the emier is an example of what is wrong with Nigeria.
For starters it was Abdulsalam Abubakar and not Obasanjo who imprisoned Bamaiyi and brought charges against him.
What did the emir expect? That Obj would throw his jail open and let murderers, thieves and crooks go free?

When the emir was turbanning Obj, did he forget that Bamaiyi was still languishing in prison?

start pricing diapers, i hear they are getting cheaper now eh.

Radiant:
4Him, where have you been?

my dear i dey kampe and bodi dey inside cloth. I'll hail soonest.