₦airaland Forum

dvdon: Girl: Honey??
Boy: Yes, sweety??
Girl: Honey, i like this shoe a lot but i forgot my wallet at home, could you plz give me N5,000 to buy it?
Boy: There is no Atm close here but take this N100, go home and bring your wallet.

Question:
Is the guy=
1)Economical.
2)Sharp minded.
3)Wicked.
4)Reasonable.
5)Stingy.
6)Genious
7)Selfish
Stupid
9)Foolish
10.Wise ??

Valiantvaliant: ^^^ presido where you dey go? Come defend ya title.
.
.
.
A family in Nigeria was
puzzled when the coffin of
their dead mother arrived
from the USA. It had been
sent by their sister.
The tiny corpse was so
tightly squeezed inside the
coffin that their mother's
face was practically touching
the glass cover.
When they opened the coffin,
they found a letter from their
sister pinned to their
mother's chest, which read:
Dearest brothers and sisters,
I am sending you our
mother's remains for burial
there in Lagos.
Sorry I couldn't come along
as the expenses were so
high. You will find inside the
coffin, under Mama's body,
12 cans of Libby's corned
beef and 12 cans of
Luncheon Meat. Just divide it
among yourselves.
On Mama's feet is a brand-
new pair of Reeboks (size
for Junior. There are four
pairs of Reeboks under
Mama's head for Tunde's
sons. Mama is wearing six
Ralph Lauren T-shirts - one is
for Omo, the other for Roy
and the rest are for my
nephews.
Mama is also wearing one
dozen Wonder Bra ( your
favourite), just divide it
among yourselves.
The 2 dozen Victoria's Secret
panties that Mama is
wearing should be
distributed among my nieces
and cousins. Mama is also
wearing eight Docker pants -
Ikeje, please get one for
yourself and the rest are for
the boys. The Swiss watch
you asked for is on Mama's
left wrist, please get it.
Auntie Ronke, Mama is
wearing what you asked for
- earrings, ring and necklace
- just please get them. Also,
the six pairs of Channel
stockings that Mama is
wearing must be divided
among the teen-age girls
there. I hope they like the
colour.
Your loving sister,
Bukky
P.S. Please take care of
finding a dress for Mama for
her burial.

larride: General Marshall Larride reporting for duty. Laff away with me.

A primary school teacher was teaching her pupils Christian Religion Knowledge, after few minutes of teaching, the teacher asked, what is the materials God us to create human being, immediately many hands were up, the teacher call on one of the boys, the boy said, breath of God the whole class laughed, but the teacher then go further by explaining to the boy that before the breath, what was the material God used to mould us and a little girl quickly said clay, everybody clapped, the teacher said good answer please clap for her again, after few seconds of clapping one of the boys screamed and said, stop, stop, please teacher don't teach us non-sense, are you saying that clay was the only materials used, that is totally wrong God also use charcoal and a very good example is you I hardly see someone as black as you are.




The teacher fainted thrice and had a miscarriage

larride: General Marshall Larride reporting for duty. Laff away with me.

A primary school teacher was teaching her pupils Christian Religion Knowledge, after few minutes of teaching, the teacher asked, what is the materials God us to create human being, immediately many hands were up, the teacher call on one of the boys, the boy said, breath of God the whole class laughed, but the teacher then go further by explaining to the boy that before the breath, what was the material God used to mould us and a little girl quickly said clay, everybody clapped, the teacher said good answer please clap for her again, after few seconds of clapping one of the boys screamed and said, stop, stop, please teacher don't teach us non-sense, are you saying that clay was the only materials used, that is totally wrong God also use charcoal and a very good example is you I hardly see someone as black as you are.




The teacher fainted thrice and had a miscarriage

kaodili: Lol...*smh* for u. Your funny sha. I pity u my friend. Your level of foolishness is quite alarming.

Ramcie: Kudos to PSquare? I love twins Dear Lord plz bless me with a set of twins but they should be successful and Productive dear Lord . I don't want naughty and troublesome twins dear Lord.

Seun shackGarri: Ceteris paribus, as the demand for cassava in the production of diverse products increases without a corresponding increase in its supply, the price of the commodity will increase at an increasing rate, in the short term, until an optimum point is reached after which the demand will fall due to its price elasticity and availability of close substitutes (Garri)

I am sorry to say comrades, but in the short run the price of Garri will also be affected as more suppliers will prefer the high sales price at the bakery. To mitigate this, Initiate Procedure 254, Section 27 of our Survival kit (2012 Edition). However, in the long term there will be an increased demand of our product.

So keep the frying pans turning and shut in 60% of production pending the Christmas holiday.

- General Seun ShaGarri

Koikoi: When Soludo tried re-decimalization of the naira, he was cut down by the late Yar adua. Why can't Goodluck do the same?

bobby56: Please if BOKO HARAM, OR NIGER DELTA MILITANTS ARE RECRUITING, LET ME KNOW I WILL APPLY. At least through that I will get my own share of the new 'Nation Destructive and Inflation Aggravating' N5000 note. THANKS. LONG LIVE NIGERIA!!!LONG LIVE MILITANTS!!!!!! DESTRUCTION TO ALL THOSE TRYING TO DESTROY THIS NATION THROUGH UNWARRANTED AND DESTRUCTIVE POLICIES. AMEN! AMEN!! AMEN!!! FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Abbott: Whatever their motive is, which I know can never be good or positive, I speak death upon Sanusi and Co.
Woe unto Sanusi Lamido Sanusi.
Woe unto all his henchmen.
Woe to all the rabid supporters of this supposedly smart economy move.
Woe unto all the unfriendly friends of the highest office in Nigeria...the free citizens of Nigeria...Nigerians.
Woe unto all unscrupulous politicians, statesmen and rulers.
WOE!

abifoluwa: I am part of th GPAN squad and i have always supported them, but i dont post about garri until today, when my old username got banned for nothing.i had this one a long tim ago but never used it, andi decided to join the garri squad

Abbott: Woe unto GEJ.
Woe unto all the members of NASS.
Woe unto the Minister of Finance:Okonjo Iweala.
Woe unto the FEC.
Woe unto Sanusi Lamido Sanusi.
Woe unto all of you.
May your get entrapped in the devices you imagine for Nigeria and never be able to come out of it.
WOE!

garriBBPREYE: Security needs to be beefed up at market places and all others! Especially creek road market and where a lot of garr! Sales are going on! Cos any bombing there will have an adverse effect on the welfare of th common man who survives on "G4".
Cos we all know the price will go up!