₦airaland Forum

And for what? I was minding my own business, having a tete-a-tete with a female nairalander when suddenly I was told I could no longer comment on the the thread, check again another time!

Another time? Another time?

And then I checked my profile only to find out I'd been banned for 24hrs!

I swear if I could write virus programs I would have written one to beat the sheet out of you antispambot

There was no reason for that ban, none whatsoever! I didn't over capitalize, I didn't use silly gif, I didn't post links or do any of that ish, why the hell did it ban me?

Pls seun should do something about this jo, this is infringement on my fundamental nairaland rights to express myself. Fear no let me use bolded words or increase my text size or use a different font, all cos I don't want to be banned by a useless and archaeic robot who seems to have developed a mind of its own in a bid to rule nairaland with a dictatorial and belligerent hand bordering on villainy of the highest order.(exclamation mark is supposed to end this sentence but who knows what will happen if I put too many?)

Mods, mynd44? Royal Roy? Pls unban my posts, there was nothing wrong with it and if there is pls educate me and the general public cos aswear if this happens again I will learn programming and come after that robot's azz with a silicon meatgrinder!!

nurey: There is nothing bad in marrying ss.
my sister is ss and we did not know until she was 24yrs when she had severe malaria attack prompting blood test. also, ss can be managed but as we all know some pips can take some while others cant. if u marry as u will likely have 1aa, 2as and 1ss but the prob is that all ur children can be either of the 3

Please retest your sister. That's not SS. Either the lab made a mistake or she is SC. Test your sister again in a teaching hospital before she mistakenly gets married to an AS or SS man. I have warned you o, I know what am saying.

[quote author=soul_glo]I don't care about the gossiping wives. That's their issue. Anyone who wants yo make her marriage a topic for gossip will eventually learn. My thing is with you thinking that because one works outside of the home then they should just come home and sit on their ass. It does not work that way. Any woman married to a husband with your mindset will look like someone who works in the fields for a living. I'm sorry but you don't sound like such a prize. Making enough money to pay the bills is not more important than running the home. You talk of running a household as if it were just washing a dish here and there. Let me ask you then what's so special about earning money outside the home. People do it all the time. There's nothing unique about it. If you value your family more than your ego you would not even think what you're saying.[/quote]The bolded is a highly false/fallacious statement. How do you run the home if the bills are not paid. If husband is not taking care of finances you'll be the first to open a thread "My man is not being a man".

The second italicised : so are you saying you can't do anything yourself? Must the man help you in everything? Why not go to his workplace and help him in meetings too? Kai!

As he is handling the outside world please show you are capable of handling the home without him. That will put him more at ease and will give you that sense of pride. Like the OP said, if he decides to help in some things, fine. But honestly he just wants to come to a peaceful home and rest. He'll be doing his duty and hlbe happy and you'll be doing yours and be happy too. That's family dynamics.


;Dbut of course some women no go hear, they go still wan argue make point.

cococandy: Left for me o. If a guy is working and making all the money the family needs,then it is only fair that the wife faces the home keeping squarely. Making sure that the home is always cozy,warm,clean and beautiful. With delicious aromas emanating from the kitchen
The kids well fed and giggling before daddy comes back.


What I don't understand is the case of men who's wives work as much as they do making a fuss about house keeping.
Some their wives even work more than they do and make more than they do. Yet it is beneath them to prepare dinner and set the table before darling wife comes back from a very stressful day at work. She still has to rush into the kitchen to 'serve' him. But he was home all day doing phantom business while the woman is working her buttt off being husband and wife at the same time.

**swoons** ahv been swept of my feet Here indeed is a true rose among thorns! Marry me!

2buff: Listen, All that one you are talking is puan.

This will never happen in Jesus Mighty name, but If I were to ever to find myself in the unfortunate situation of my wife being the ONLY breadwinner in the house, shame will catch me if she also then has to come back home from a long day at work to start cleaning and cooking again. If she decides to do it on her own, that's nice. But never in my life would I be bad-mouthing her with obviously "so-far-I-agree" friends about how much my wife, who is paying the bills, is not also cleaning and cooking when she comes back from work.

Why? Because I have pride. The RIGHT kind of pride. The pride of contributing to the family FULLY in the field I happen to be put in at that point in time.

I know that it is NOW that I put it in this context, that is when most women will now agree with my OP....hence proving it right. Most women of this generation lack that fundamental sense of duty necessary to keep a harmonious home. It all somehow has to end up being the man's fault...for her own lack of chutspa. And so for that they will happily agree with anything that has to do with a man owning up to a situation, but vehemently oppose anything that demands the same from them...even if the situation is exactly the same.

Abi what is in the cooking and cleaning gan sef? Is it not what I was doing before she came into the picture ALONG with my fulltime job?
You talking about her looking old. It all depends on the mindset at which you go about something.
Instead of going to spend money in gym shebi she can go at it with the mindset of "THIS is my exercise"?

They look old because they DECIDED to be UNHAPPY with what they were doing for a long time, NOT because of the domestic duties.
A person will also look old if they do a 9-to-5 that they hate for a very long time.
Physical activity is at the crux of looking and feeling younger. If she is unhappy being a housewife, she can table that as it's own discussion, but don't nobody start telling me about how housework be hard with all these washing machines, vacuums, etc.

Just grow the heck up you female babies.

***followinggggggg******
In the words of tony craxus: preach, brother!

The truth of the matter is, most people that get divorced especially those who divorce within the first five years or marriage, were never truly in love in the real sense of the word to begin with.

Gone are the days when our parents arranged our marital spouses for us and explained to us that love was all about sacrifice and 'the other person'. In a bid to be at par with the 20th and 21st century westerners , we now view those days as parochial and foolish. We now wait for the other person to love us instead of loving thatperson first.

Marriage now is fixated not on love but on what one partner can gain from the other person i.e she is sexy and intelligent, he has a car and a good job, he will be a good 'catch' etc. While focusing on these things which are the real objects of our affection we fail to know the real person, his likes and dislikes, her good and bad habits. Then when we enter marriage and the deal is sealed our eyes open and the complaining begins. As if you were forced to marry that person. As if you didn't know she couldn't cook, or that he enjoys his meals served the traditional way.

We now start trying to impose our ideals on that person, telling him to cook his food, that sex is not food, that her dressing is outdated etc. Of course its not easy for someone to change. That is where true love's patience would have come in. But since there was no love in the first place the other party becomes bitter and starts to nag and complain and go to social media to declare that she/he has married the devil. This is the same person you danced with smiling to the alter.

The next thing is to get encouragement to have a divorce. Divorce most times is actually an act of selfishness although these days it is painted as self empowerment. The kids suffer but you don't care, you have your life to live. The sadness inside you is drowned by going to parties and living a large lifestyle 'divorced and loving it'. You try so hard to show others you are doing well meanwhile you are not.

How I wish we could go back to the morals of our grandparents. They understood the value of family, togetherness, forgiveness and working things out. True African tradition had a ready format for good marriages. But of course in our blindness to follow the white man and his 'I don't care' attitude we refuse to see that.

An obviously bad wife who is chasing after her ex, but see the way she has been showered will love Its at times like this I envy women

[size=14pt]What about neighbors that scream like goats during sex? . My current landlord is guilty of this [/size]

3.The Really Mysterious Neighbour .
There is never any noise coming from his apartment. However, the only dialogue you ever had with this type of neighbour probably consists of “Hello!” and “Nice weather today, huh?” You’ve probably noticed that the really mysterious neighbour comes back home either late at night or early in the morning. And he doesn’t appear to be drunk which makes things even weirder. You have no idea where he goes, what he does and whether you should be worried that he might be a criminal or not. You better stick to just ‘hello’ when talking to this neighbour and never ask him anything because you know what happened to the curious cat, right? It became a victim of its really mysterious neighbour.

I had this type of neighbor. The only clue we had of his importance was the day NEPA officials came to cut his light for owing close to N20k bill. Apparently they were new workers. When he came home and saw his wire disconnected he asked us what happened and we politely told him. He said 'OK' and went inside. In less than 30mins see as NEPA rush come back come fix I'm light come beg am on top . They never came to ask for bill again ;DNa we dey use Christian mind go pay NEPA bill until he left a year later.

Love is sacrifice.
Love is not just about buying gifts or taking the person to Mr Biggs or getting the person a fancy car.
Love is placing that person before yourself, in everything you do. Love is not cheque and balances i.e I have done my own now let her do her own. Love is making the other person happy because that makes you happy.

Love does not place demands, love does not have conditions. Love is an illogical need to fulfil the desires of the object of your affection not because you are expecting something in return but because by so doing you feel elated that you have made that person smile, that you have made that person laugh, that you have made that person a better person.

Love endures. This means love waits it out. Love would rather work hard at making the other person a better person than to give up at the slightest inclination. Love is patient.
Love fixes and does not throw away.
Love is truly magical when it is returned and reciprocated.

Two people can love each other deeply, but love is seldom equally expressed. Love, by character, does not measure itself with the other person's affections. Love is selfless and not selfish.

Love is easily hurt but easily heals. Love forgives without a second thought. Love blossoms from the smallest of encouragements.

Can love be killed? Yes, over time and surrounded by selfishness, greed, lack of encouragement, unfaithfulness and being taken for granted. It will wilt and dry up like a plant denied of water. Luckily love has very stubborn roots and with a little nourishment will blossom again ready to bring joy to whoever it is showered upon, even the person that caused its demise in the first place.
Why?
Because love is unconditional.

obowunmi: Hi 5minsmadness,

I didn't get the PM. Pls re-send.

Email me on nkpablo@yahoo.com. let me know immediately you do so.

Ask what that critic did with his life now and you'll find nothing wortht of note. Some people just thrive off rubbishing other peoplle's good works! Where wwre they when mother Theresa was struggling with the poor? Why didn't they drop their pens and come and help the hungry and needy instead of letting her to do it then quickly standing up to shout rubbish when she was given the Nobel peace prize at an old age?
People wil always seek to destroy the good in others. Its the way they get their kicks. They are the cowards that hide behind their desks sticking their neck out to spy onthe good others are doing and look for the flaws in it while never getting up to contribute anything good themselves. Yellow-bellied jealous cowards!

Alexk2: you can't convince me on this, bro coz i have nothing to gain from believing negative critics of her time. pple who wrote those books and created those links are simply pple who believe others most be perfect even while they are not and because of that, they look for the flaws in great men and women to write about and make gains through it. my brother, there are countless books and links written/produced about her good legacy for others to emulate.
you'll still here pple coming up with reasons why late prof. Dora Akunyili shouldn't be celebrated; some nairalanders are already into that. we'll here why Owelle Rochas Okorocha should not be regarded as a great philanthropist because he is now a governor; even his kinsmen will tell you that.
my brother, don't take critical pple seriously because they'll never see the good in others, they'll try all they can to stop you from doing good and sadly, they are selfish individual who can hardly sacrifice anything for those under them.

make others contribute, pls. don't just look; letz here your say.

Standing ovation! Bless you sir!

obowunmi: I would like to pursue her without being too aggressive and scary.

Send her another facebook message. Let it not have anything to do with your previous text. Something like 'hi, longest time, how have you been?' Should be nice and neutral. Facebook has a poke function. 'Poke' her after sending the message. Get her chatting with you again with no agenda in mind.

Still invite her to the dinner party but in a different conversation.

I sent you a PM. Did you receive it?

Thank you for your opinion
A response which will throw most criticizers off is to simply say, “Thank you for your opinion” and then just leave it at that. This effectively ends the conversation. They’re waiting for you to respond with anger or a comeback of your own and when you don’t, there’s nothing left for them to say.

I'm going to use this on ***** one day

obowunmi: Thank you sir. I will do this.

She introduced me to some investors and I plan to meet with them for a breakfast meeting, I will use style to invite her to that.

If she doesn't respond, you are right, I will move on.

OK then. All the best.

obowunmi: Yes, we went to university together. Also, she recently (in May) she introduced me to an investor for my business.

Then I felt it might be a good way to reconnect. She always asks me out but I never respond.

The message didn't offend. You're right, I should move on.

Why didn't you respond?? Are you sure you really like this girl or you just figured she's the closest you've got to in a relationship and you want to use that to maybe court and marry her?

The bolded ain't looking good. I think she's lost interest.

obowunmi: I don't have her number. We only talk on facebook.

On facebook, it shows that she's seen the message but she never responded.

I'm a bit shy about approaching her again. She's white.

Oh, I see.

Love bro, is all about courage. Have you heard the saying "its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all'? Its very true. You need to catch her attention. You shouldn't wait a month cos you are scared of rejection. Send her another Facebook message. If she doesn't reply that one then know you have done your best and move on. She may not be actually interested in you. Dont make yourself a pest by continuous messages. Move on. Another one will come.

obowunmi: They all met their wives in university. I didn't.

Be patient. Mothers are like that. They forget that you are the one going to live with the woman in the same house for the rest of your life.

And its not as if you are an only son sef. Mtschheeeew.

See, I get it. You love your mom and respect her opinion. But trust me on this, in this particular issue you are the one to make the call. Don't let her force you into doing something you are not ready for. The world is seriously messed up right now and there are vultures everywhere both male and female.

Be patient. Move out of the house if you can so as to avoid your mom's verbal pressure. I saw your other thread, please do not be hasty in finding a wife. A wife can make or mar you. If you pick the wrong one that will want to fight you everyday and make you unhappy you will regret it for the rest of your life. All your mother will know is that you are married, and she will be happy. You won't be able to complain then.

Be patient. Look for that woman who will attract you with her beauty, amaze you with her wit, keep you coming back for more with her behaviour. When you find her you won't need anyone to tell you to get married.

obowunmi: Not dating. Just asking her out now.

I'm a bit pained because she hasn't responded. It's almost a month.

She's not interested. That's all. If you were into chasing her you shouldn't have waited close to a month to complain. And since she hasn't replied what.makes you think it has anything to do with the message you sent? Are you sure she read it? Or maybe she forgot? Oraybe she's constrained for time as well? Too many possibilities. Call her instead of hypothesizing.

obowunmi: Why should it be in the romance section? I need advice from the mature folks.

Some folks here aren't mature.

[quote author=wazobia_for_u]Just tell me a Man that love an arrogant wife...


Love, must be there before a man will ask "will you marry me" and love must also be there before a lady will say "yes I will"

Some people minimize their submission while in courtship with "you are not yet my husband" or not yet my wife.

So now that you are married, the next thing is Submission, so submission come immediately after Marriage



MAN appreciate a submissive and respective wife
WOMEN appreciate a man that show love[/quote]Complete! Nothing else to add.

I hate feminism.

I hate what it has come to stand for, how it brainwashed our women into believing they were previously unhappy with their lives and way of living. I hate how young naive girls of nowadays come online to speak of equality with one side of their mouth while asking to be taken care of with the other side and see nothing wrong with it.
How can you a woman be saying that you want your husband to cook and clean? I mean really? That's the kind of husband you want? Feminity has taught women to believed now that there is no honour in doing home chores, no honour in being hardworking, no honour in putting your family first, no honour in being the softer parent in the family, no honour in taking care of your man.

Are we so blind? Are we as Africans so bereft of originality that we don't recognise brainwashing and decadence when we see it?

I watched a video on YouTube recently. A woman wore a skimpy outfit to a festival. When asked why she did it she replied that she was comfortable with what she was wearing and she had a right to wear whatever the hell she wanted. She was cheered by the men around and this silly lady really thought they were cheering for her. In reality they were cheering for themselves, they were getting free opportunity to oogle her and feast their dirty minds on her unclothedness and she couldn't even see that. A few minutes later she was asked to flash her bosoms in public for a bead or necklace and she did so. Immediately a man grabbed her bosoms and she screamed out. Other guys started to get a feel until some dude came and yanked her away. Her passing shot? "Respect women!" "I didn't ask you guys to touch me."

Fool!

After disrespecting yourself you want other people to respect you? And you stand there to declare that you are an independent woman? That you have a right to your body and the men should have controlled themselves better?

Africans need to stop following these white people. We need to go back to our culture. They are destroying us. They are destroying the family way and making us become like them with their high divorce rates and badly trained children. They disguise their ideas with pretty words and flash their flamboyant lifestyles at us and we lose control of our senses. I still don't see how feminism has improved our lot beyond sending the girl child to school. Instead as far as I'm concerned it is raising a new generation of men-hating, husband-bashing, divorce loving, selfish and lazy women who now use the excuse for equality to engage in disgusting self love and petty tyranny.

Enough of the nonsense.