₦airaland Forum

Tallesty1:
200 for what?


Catch the man.

Fix his d1ck on a vice.

Give him a saw.



Then set the room on fire.

Wicked

2014 and this is just hitting front page?

When you wish upon a star

It makes no difference who you arreeee

When you wish

Upon a star

Your Dreamm

Comes truuuueeee

LordReed:
I get it very well which I am asking you why I need to experience a live birth first hand in other to be able to talk about it. I have learnt about it by proxy so why is that not sufficient? Why must you write "you have never experienced a live birth" if I have learnt by proxy? Also how does it detract from the 13year old's experience?

You are trolling.
Over and out.

LordReed:
But experience by proxy is better, abi is that not what you wrote?

Pls read what I wrote again.

5minsmadness:
As per the topic, yes experience is the best teacher. However it is not often the most "desired". Better to learn as proxy from other people's experiences.

I said experience is the best teacher. But it is also a brutal teacher. Hence it is not often the most desired teacher. It is better to learn via proxy i.e it is better to learn through others experiences so you don't learn the bitter and hard way of first ha d experience.


Get it now?

LordReed:
Why exactly do I have to experience first hand a live birth?

Because experience is the BEST teacher!

Whew!

LordReed:
Isn't it funny you are advocating "experience by proxy" but you use the statement "you have never seen a live birth", kinda diminishes your argument doesn't it?

How? Explain further.
I stated categorically up there that experience is the BEST teacher but the most DESIRED. What advocacy am I doing again?

Double post.

It's just plain abnormal for a mother to let her 13yr old see her in so much pain and agony in the name of teaching a lesson. I wonder which doctor or nurse allowed that in the first place.




In fact I'm beginning to realise this is a cooked up story jo.

dominique:
If reverse was the case, the men here will advise that the husband should send her packing at once. Nigerians and double standards.

[size=18pt]
I dare you to show me a similar thread where such advise was given. [/size]

LordReed:
You wrote psychological trauma of seeing a live birth not psychological trauma of seeing a problematic birth so mentioning sepsis and hemorrhage has no bearing on this. Also there was no mention of birthing problems in the OP so you are bringing up your own scenario.

Again we are talking about the psychological effects of seeing or experiencing something not the actual events themselves so you cannot tell me that post partum depression is more intense than any other form of ptsd.

Ok
I mean, you were the one that started mentioning pathologies as if all 13yrs old that see thier menses fall into depression. Also you Ave never seen a live birth.

But I don't have energy to argue.
Believe what you want.

LordReed:
I am amused because you seem to underestimate the psychological trauma of seeing menses for the first time. This is something some people never quite recover from and add to that that they have to see it 12+ times a year. Seeing a live birth in my estimation is as "traumatising" as seeing blood flow out of you for no explicable reason (for less informed first timers). That girl will know how "stressful" childbirth is and will be oriented to the sacrifices a parent/mother makes for children. I have not seen a live birth but from descriptions and the videos on the net I have a pretty good grasp of what it would be like to be there and I am pretty sure that any man that is opportuned to witness it would appreciate his wife that much more rather than be merely overcome by the event.

EDIT: to help you understand a bit more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1344260/Girls-begin-menstruating-early-likely-develop-depression-teenagers.html

Excuse me.
You want to compare a girl seeing her menses in the middle of the night to an average of 10hrs of intense pain and screaming of a loved one? Of contracting swollen abdomens and sudden rupture with outflowing voluminous amounts of blood, meconium and amniotic fluid with the attendant smell?

Have u heard of post-abortal sepsis? Post-partum hemorrhage? Post-partum Psychosis (the whole labour event drives the woman MAD), Post-partum depression?

Pls the experience of menstruation and labour can NEVER be compared. This is not about winning an argument, this is pure FACT.

Truckpusher:
Be deceiving yourself ,feminism was invented by her kind and you guys are just copy cats and some dumb ass wannabes - Little wonder you even buy their hair to look human.

benedicts:
That is another issue, he is no longer under ant. Church, he just got a small. Space where he wants to plant. His own church.

And he wants to start a church with THAT KIND OF BACKGROUND??

No wonder so many people look down on Christianity nowadays.

He had elders he was previously under before he grew wings. Report to them. Let it be thier burden. Wether he is no longer under them or not wouldn't matter. They are obligated to call an erring brother back to the flock or threaten him with his new congregation knowing the truth. He shouldn't bring disgrace to the body of Christ.

LordReed:
What do you mean wrong? That a 13year old hasn't seen things on the Internet? Or that bringing a teenager's head out of the clouds is good for them?

A 13year old female is most likely already seeing her period so I am amused at your squeamishness.

As they say it is better to learn from from someone else's experience so who better than her mother?

By wrong I meant it was wrong for the mother to subject her child through the torture of live childbirth. Seeing one's menses is NOTHING compared to the psychological trauma that 13yr old girl just went through.

LordReed:
What do you mean wrong? That a 13year old hasn't seen things on the Internet? Or that bringing a teenager's head out of the clouds is good for them?

A 13year old female is most likely already seeing her period so I am amused at your squeamishness.

As they say it is better to learn from from someone else's experience so who better than her mother?

MY squeamishness?

Let me ask. Have u seen a live birth before (not on the internet)?

LordReed:
I am sure she's already seen more "innocence removing" things on the Internet. An education in the way the real world works is good for teenagers, it should get their heads out of the clouds a bit.

Wrong.
Extremely traumatic for a 13yr old.
I have seen two, no, three men that were deeply affected psychologically after observing thier child giving birth firsthand.

Her mother's screams.
The persistent pains.
The dilation of the vagina and everybody sticking thier hands in there.
The blood.
The amniotic fluid.
The smell.
And if the results for any reason did not turn out well and God forbid the baby died...

That woman overdid it in my opinion.
Too much for a 13yr old girl.
There's a reason they are called "children".


As per the topic, yes experience is the best teacher. However it is not often the most "desired". Better to learn as proxy from other people's experiences.

benedicts:
Its complicated, I. Sat as a father for the pastor during the wedding ceremony. I hope u understand now?

That "Pastor" is most likely schizophrenic.

If he is indeed a pastor then he has elders in the church that he listens to. Let those elders know what is going on and let them call him to order.

dinachi:
Long time bro! How are things with you?

Fine oh.
It's like you've been scarce around family section like me oh

dinachi:
The boy and his mother are on a gold digging adventure. Thank God the man was smart enough to demand a DNA test.

Bros I hail o!
e don tey

brocode:
Thanks.

I am in Europe now, and I am probably going to be here for another two years or more. If I was in Nigeria, I would probably go and give my ex-boss a good punch and then Man up to my new situation. But how can I do the DNA in proxy: Challenge No. 1.

There is no way am getting involved with her. Even without a child with me and situations werent like they were, I wouldnt go into a relationship with her (I guess its a little late to cry now).

Am trying to concentrate but the worst part is not been able to bring it to your family as it might break my poor mum's heart knowing how much I have tried hard to pull through live without mistakes.

Hehehe
Mothers are complicated creatures. Tell her first. You 'd be surprised she wouldn't be as hard hit as you think. Give her a virtual scenario, mention it casually like it happened to your friend, then see her reaction or ask her how she would react if it was her. A friend had the same issue, good boy of the family went an Impregnated one useless girl like that. He thought his mother would be heartbroken but she took it quite well. Said she'll be more than happy to take care of the child.

Let your mom know. In fact she can even run proxy for you and do the DNA test on your behalf. Whatever the outcome you'll be able to handle it as a family. You haven't done the worst thing in the world. Life will go on.

Steps to take:

1. Demand for a DNA TEST. it costs N75,000. Results will be out in 2weeks. If the child isn't yours you're free to go.

2. If the child is yours visit the child, offer financial assistance BUT DO NOT LET THE MOTHER GET INVOLOVED IN YOUR LIKE. She tricked you into this mess and even though u want to do the noble thing, you will still hold that hurt in your heart and will be resentful towards her. If you marry her that resentment will come out and will make your life and hers miserable.

3. You made a mistake but we all make mistakes. Realise that you are not alone. Others have fallen into the same trap. However they have found that they could move on with thier lives and have done so.

Good luck.

Mindfulness:
Are women the better care givers? Are fathers less qualified? If they are, then there is no discrimination in courts giving women custody, right or wrong?



Yeah, I think that most men are ok with the fact that after divorce the kids stay with the mother, aren't they?

Wow.
You don't follow divorce cases much do you?

Anyway, am sitting this one out. You guys have fun.

agarawu23:
Hmmm

Marrying a 4th wife is not nice at all, I wonder if he his done with the 3 at home.

Shebi dem teach us say 18 na adult?

What's not nice about marrying a fourth wife? It's not as if she is being forced or he doesn't have the finances to take care of her.

It's simple. The man has said he's ready. Let them repeat the test elsewhere.
. But e be like say that woman wan catch big fish at all costs

2goodbobo:
His wife can use syringe and inject your fluid in her when she is ovulating and the rest will be history.

You don't have to sleep with his wife.

Good idea. Op u can consider this.

MrsPhyno:
The probability of this being real is slim

NO it isn't.

BlaqCoffee109:
hian! what happened to adoption? too many orphans in need of love, care, family..home

An adopted child can never be the same as a child of your loins or in this case the man's wife's loins. Sad but true.

olaolulazio:
Don't u think it will result to problem later?

My child is mine

Well, unless this. Unless you feel u will be responsible for the child later. But u can sign an ironclad agreement with the man never to bother u with the child ever and u won't do same. He asked for your help cos he trusts you. Try and look at it from his point of view before saying no.

Abugab:
What advice do you need again since you said you won't do it?
Sleeping with a married woman brings causes which will bring effects that you won't cherish at all.
Let your friend go to a sperm bank and fertilize his wife's eggs and that will be safer for him and you.

Which causes? Is he not giving his friend permission to sleep with his wife? And most likely the wife will agree as well else the husband won't dare it. It's a bother trying to help a brother jo.

olaolulazio:
Please, I need a serious advice from you here, my friend called me 3days ago telling me he went for checkup in the hospital and that the doctor said his sperm cannot produce due to somethings he didn't mention to me.
This morning he called my phone and started begging me to please sleep with his wife. I know I can't and won't do such for him but, what do u think I can say to scare him away and even stop him for bringing someone else in to sleep with his wife?

What would you have done if you were in my shoez?

Please advice cus I don't want him to make the mistake of his life.

And why don't you want to help him? Is his wife in agreement?

all4naija:
I am pointing out with that video blaming r a p e on the way women dress is false and unsubstantiated. It is misleading and unacceptable.

Pls show us statistics that rape does not occur in this tribe and stop talking long talk.

What do you mean by "Pastor"?

benedicts:
Please read this summarized story and advise the wife: shortly before they got married, I told her husband to. Be patient and not rush into mariage not know the lady was 2months pregnant. The guy claimed he has prayed about. It and GOD told him to marry her that even if its pofpof and pure water, he would serve at reception. Because he is. A well known CAC pastor, I let him had his way believing he is acting to faith in GOD.
3 months into the wedding he started complaining that the family of thegirl didn't respect him. Amonth later he started complaining thatthe. Girl was cheating on him. 2 months after the girl came crying. That the pastor doesn't stay at home again. 3 months after naming ceremony, the pastor. Packed out of the house. A family meeting was called, the pastor. Refuse to show up for d meeting. I then adcise d girl to serve the pastor a court warrant for penalisation since he did not cater for the child and mother again. The. Lady was bankrupedt and could not sustain the business she built. For hersef before the marriage. Since then till now, all family and friend effort. To settle the home was futile. The lady latter confessed the she had aborted 3 times for pastor before wedding, that was why she doesn't want to abort again. For him. Their baby girl is now 3+yrs and have still not seen thepastor. Latest news of him as at 2days ago was that he is living with another he impregnated. The info was looked into and confirmed. What. Should we do? Should we tell the legal wife? Should. D girl arrest him or what? Please advise on what should be done because she doesn't know now that the pastor have impregnated another mother of one, even the pastor is. Being called after the name of the woman's daugther. Let a lone for me, I want to call the legal wife and tell her. Of what happened.
What's your. Advise pls

Someone called a Pastor wouldn't do any of the highlighted above.

Your "Friend" is not a "Pastor".