₦airaland Forum

What women don't know is that this equality of a thing does not favor them. In most relationships when it comes to responsibilities the man takes the higher portion, when it comes to gift giving, the man gives way more and when it comes to security and well being of the family, the man does what he has to, if he does not do these things then he is seen as weak. No female wants a weak man, by demanding equality you are not empowering yourself, you are demoralizing your man. I think the op is right, when men treat women the way they would treat themselves then there would be peace!

The only point I disagree with is not nagging or complaining when faced with certain responsibilities. Sometimes it is not good for the man to be the only provider in the house. Women must learn how to assist in case of rainy days. For example my uncle loved his wife very much, she didn't work so he took care of all the bills, when he lost his job he became very depressed and frustrated, the woman started nagging, after wiping out all their savings, they lost their house and had to move in with family members. The lesson here is that change is very constant, women should not dump all their financial responsibilities on their husbands and husbands should encourage their wives to work or do business.

A lot of people don't understand how America works, if your sister is going to bring you here legally as an immigrant then there's no need to stay indoors for six months because you would already be a legal immigrant capable of moving around freely. On the other hand, if her intention is to have you come in through a non immigrant visa and then marry a citizen over here then you would definitely need to abide by her rules and pray for luck. Either way you need to let her know how you feel and ask lots of questions, there's nothing wrong with leaving your job as long as you come into the United States legally and stick to your plans.

Some people are funny sha! Helping her wash clothes, you be washman? Paying her school fees? Na you be her papa, shey I never warn una make u stay away from broke ass girls! carrying her bag? Better not do it in public, otherwise na 14 years be that

What most people don't know about the U.S or abroad in general is that it can either be a dream or a nightmare. I have never seen a hardworking, smart and intelligent Nigerian fail to make it here, yes it will be difficult, yes it can be rough but most people end up being in a better state than they were when they left 9ja. Now back to the topic, many Nigerians here are forced to forget partially or completely about Nigeria due to the number of hours you have to spend at work, raising a family and so on. An average trip to Nigeria will cost you at least $3000 to $5000 dollars when you count ticket, hotel and other costs. Most Nigerians can't save that much in a year, in fact most Americans can't save that in a year. The real Nigerians suffering here are the illegal immigrants, they can't work a decent job, they can't leave the country and are constantly watching their backs. Hopefully with the emergence of a new Nigeria under GMB, many of the illegal immigrants can come back to 9ja and make something of their lives!

justwise:
Bro ask somebody close to you to help you explain the type of visa you have, it's not green card, you don't get green card under 2 years in US.

Sure you do, marry a citizen, you get green card within 6 to 8 months.

[quote author=donodion post=31965079][/quote]Just to show you that quality matters more than quantity. I'll keep my response short and simple. Any right thinking government will never allow one group or terrorists to hold the entire nation as hostage. As much as we all hate Abacha and past military leaders, they were very effective in squashing any form of protest. Just because we have democracy does not mean Marshall law cannot be reintroduced, if only the clueless one can do the needful!

May the best candidate win, GMB or GEJ whoever wins should pray for great wisdom to be able to bring progress to Nigeria. Who knows maybe after 4 years of ruling, GEJ might have a change of heart and decide to be more caring about the Nigerian people or if GMB enters and actually brings the most positive change Nigerians have ever witnessed. Nigerians no matter who wins, say no to VIOLENCE!

KoloOyinbo:
Yes, but in Naija there are almost no employment laws. Yes, also most Employment cases are decided on if the dismissal process was flawed or followed correctly rather than the merits of the case. It is however very hard to defend Gross Misconduct especially if there is a parallel criminal conviction.

Im not bitter (sorry if you think so) just pointing out there are better things to aspire to than apologising for this piece of garbage. Oh And by his morally disgusting actions he gives all decent humans the right to call him that?

Perhaps instead of criticising me for pointing out an obvious right and wrong here to some folks who lack a moral compass it might be better to admit this guy did very indeed. The issue of the criminality of his actions depends on the jurisdiction they are committed in. I merely pointed out that in Europe it would be (thankfully) considered criminal. i.e. THEFT!

Now you're talking! Of course in Europe there might be a case for criminal conviction but it would be a very hard case especially if there is no evidence(deleted pics or videos, no camera putting him at the scene of the crime, no witnesses and so on.). In addition, I still maintain my stance, do not call another human 'garbage', unless you've never done anything morally or ethically wrong! In a sane society people wouldn't expose themselves on social media, take slutty pics or videos of themselves and save it on devices but seeing as we don't live in a sane world, I will never blame the guy that stole the pix but rather I'll continue blaming the mumu that allowed her urges to get the best of her and her stupidity exposed by not passwording her phone!

KoloOyinbo:
What are you saying? In Naija privacy is regarded as poo? Well by some of the lesser folks I suppose but not by anyone with any moral backbone!

I have been a Union rep indeed represented people at Tribunal and a criminal offense is considered gross misconduct!

Stealing the pictures would definitely (especially due to the personal nature) be grounds for both dismissal and a criminal court case!

ARE YOU ACTUALLY SUPPORTING THE REPREHENSIBLE ACTIONS OF THIS PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE?

First of all, you have no right to call your fellow human 'GARBAGE'! Like I said earlier, leave all that poo for overseas, in 9ja it would be very hard to convict the guy of any wrongdoing not to talk of putting him in jail. Furthermore, you mentioned now that you've been a union rep. and had represented people in court. If this is true then you of all people know how hard it is for companies to fire employees without proper documentation. I've seen numerous cases tossed out for lack of evidence and so on, so let's just leave it at that! Finally, learn to relax, you sound so bitter and it actually makes your argument weaker, instead surround your argument with facts and figures and convince your opponent to see things your way

KoloOyinbo:
Spying on someone without their permission IS actually sexual abuse and a crime. Which you can be imprisoned for if serious enough!

The girls actions were merely UNWISE.

The guys actions were morally wrong and criminal.

If they worked for me I would speak privately to the girl and offer her advice about the wisdom of where to keep private material and who she should not trust.

The filthy thief would be fired immediately for gross misconduct!

Perhaps you should leave legal definitions to attorneys and the judicial system. I don't want to long things but many factors are considerd such as familiarity, previous occurrences and so on. Mr. man it's obvious you do not own a business or know how to manage employees. I happen to work for a Fortune 100 company and I've seen many types of situations, firing someone for looking at a friend's phone would land you in a court battle especially if the workforce is represented by a union. Finally, I suggest you stop the privacy crap. All your yarnings might work overseas but here in 9ja it's nothing but poo

KoloOyinbo:

The issue is not the material on the phone!

It is wrong to snoop and invade privacy. This is an absolute and finding something we personally disapprove does not justify the snooping!

THINK for a moment before judging people.

The issue is that people have a RIGHT to privacy. NOBODY has a right to snoop through my phone! There is business information etc there.

Actually in the UK it would be considered sexual abuse and there have already been prosecutions for it!

A pity the moral codes of those who disapprove of the girl (and we don't know why she took these - only what that pervert said - it may have been for someone she loves deeply etc) anyway a pity their morals do not extend to themselves.

OR am I wrong? It is a case of morals only apply to sex and when it comes to stealing and spying and cheating they don't matter?

Guy calm down, looking at pictures on someone's phone without permision or duplicating it is not sexual abuse, any competent lawyer can prove that! What you fail to realize is that every action has an equal yet opposite reaction. When we speak of morals then you are right, the guy definitely should respect her privacy; that is if we lived in a perfect world. In the world we live in, anyone that expects complete privacy is obviously naive, from snapchat to business mail, nothing is private! Finally my guy, there's no reason to save such filthy pics or videos on a phone, we see everyday how celebrities are exposed, how regular citizens are shamed just because of a few naughty pics or videos. At which point would we learn? When does it end? This is the reason why I blame the girl as she is the cause and the guy is only a consequential effect to her stupidity!

KoloOyinbo:
So if there had been NO pics on the phone was it ok for this person to snoop? Or do you take the chance that if there are PRIVATE things I disapprove of then its ok to be a filthy snoop?

In many countries he would have been arrested for stealing and quite rightly so.

The person who did this is morally reprehensible and those who support him may well think different when their privacy is invaded.

What if it was confidential business information?

Arrested for stealing pictures? You make me laugh! At most they might get him for invasion of privacy. I have no pity for those who knowingly take filthy pics of themselves and store it on a vulnerable device like phones or computers. We live in a digital world where nothing is secured, there's a reason why we have passwords!

And for those condemning the OP, I've got two words for you, keep shut! My mama once told me never do or say anything you would be afraid of in front of family and friends. Morality has long been lost with this generation, some of the consequences of taking such filthy pics is discovery & humiliation. Even here in advanced societies people are disgraced on a daily basis due to their own doing. If you are brave enough to take filty pics and make slutty videos then surely you shouldn't care who or what finds them!

davico2006:
That woman na iron woman coz she fears nobody....
Well my slogan for PDP and APC is
PDD... Care for the masses
APC... Kill the masses

May your life and the lives of your family be the same way PDP has ruled the masses for the past few years....Amen!!!!

Why do Nigerian women even bother? Statistics shows that over 70% of Nigerian women graduates ends up being a full time housewife and out of the remaining 30% only about half work 10 years or more. My advice is simple, 3rd class is not the end of the world, your 3rd class might just be a sign from the Heavens that you are best doing business or something else but if you are still adamant on this education thingz, a pre masters program followed by a masters degree trumps your bachelor edegree anyday anytime.

This is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time, Nigerian women and their shallow minds. For goodness sake you got one child that is AA, instead of divorce why not do family planning or adopt? Anyways, there's definitely more to this than meets the eyes. At this age in time, with the level of technological advancements I can't believe two AS individuals are still afraid to have children.

Defcon1:
Nigerians are always quick to label someone a hater or "bad belle" once you have a contrary opinion to theirs based on a picture

lt is pathetic

1,why would I be jealous of innocent pretty little girls or their parents??

2,lf you read well,l said it was just an observation NOT criticism
l believe you didn't read that part in a rush to label me "bad belle"

3,Children can very well get dirty it is normal,but when talking a picture of them you want the world to see you should at least make them look more pleasant. At least that is what I would do.l don't know about you

There's something called Netiquette when responding on a forum or social media, I think most Nigerians are unaware of it. The observation sounds more like a criticism because proper netiquette was not followed. It is okay because the father of the children obviously is not monitoring this thread but if he was can you imagine how awful he must have felt hearing someone calling his children unkept, someone basically calling him an unfit parent. Now unto your last point, do you actually think everyone buys into the fake porsche life so many people try to live on social media? If my children were playing with the pets, do you think I would want to stage a photo session or capture the moment in its natural state? I don't know about you but I love reality

Defcon1:
She has a point

They are very beautiful but need better care

Look at the first girl the pyjamas looks a bit dirty

It's just an observation NOT a put down

So children playing with dogs are not allowed to get dirty, or what exactly are you saying? Is it your believe that the Children are dirty most days or do you have evidence of any maltreatment? Why would someone open mouth and make a general statement based on 2 photos? 9ja and bad belle!

MightyD:
Buhari took His hills in order to go and medicate Himself and also stay away from Nigeria politics, but His fellow evil teams stil went there and drag Him back to Nigeria in order to eliminate Him so that Tinubu can becom their presidential candidate........

Buhari just kill yourself before your evil follower will kill you 000..........

At least you have a father or grandfather, why don't you go and kill them or pass on the advice

badesco:
A Yoruba proverb goes thus-- Any one that aspire to be old in life must not take a walking stick forcibly from an old man. Falana has no moral justification to condemned the Afeniferes for their stand on President Jonathan. This body in question comprises of all notable Yoruba Sons and Daughters. So who is Falana?.

Oga keep quiet jor! Everybody knows Afenifere is as irrelevant as the 'P' in psychology. The truth remains that the only recognized Yoruba leader right now is Bola Tinubu, good or bad at least he's able to make things happen and fight for change not like some old goats blinded by money.

BushidoBlue:
On the contrary. Be honest with yourself and tell me a Fashola wouldn't beat GEJ hands down in March. Now replace Fashola with Buhari who has lost thrice?

What is the benefit of picking Fashola when he won't be able to win in the north or Rochas who can't even win in the south south or southwest. APC installed the best candidate with the best chance of pulling votes from all sections of the country, forget tribal/religious sentiments and think for yourself!

Any woman can be slapped or beaten if she deserves it. We are all humans, I've learnt to never say never when it comes to relationships. Women are always quick to cry foul whenever issues of domestic violence comes on but if we carefully analyze majority of domestic violence situations, women were the instigators especially in western cultures(My uncle's wife slapped my grandma, my uncle slapped her back, she called police accused him of domestic violence. Uncle lost his house and his freedom).

My advice to real men out there, if a woman starts demanding equal rights in your home, get rid of her. If she doesn't see you as the head of the household, you're only going to get frustrated and we all know what frustration leads to....... Finally there are several ways to deal with a woman besides hitting her, a wise man should educate himself on a few of these methods, it pays far more than violence!

isuomo:
Quite a lot of responses here refer to beating their wives if they do such a thing!! I find it depressing and disturbing that Nigerian men see nothing wrong in domestic abuse, I have seen boyfriends beat girlfriends up, husbands beat the living daylight out of wives and I worry at the scourge of domestic violence it is so rampant here in Nigeria and I think only Ekiti under Fayemi passed a law that prescribes 7 years in jail for anyone convicted of beating his wife this law should be replicated nationwide and I hope to push it with Prof. Osinbajo when he becomes the VP in May. Guys, please have a different mindset to settling disputes or venting your anger say no to wife beating in 2015 and yes I am married 16 years now never lifted a finger against my wife. And yes we do have our disputes regularly but wife beating has never crossed my mind my parents didn't do it why should I .

#notowifebeating#

It's post like this that really makes me question some people. You want to propose 7 year jail term for domestic abuse, when majority of Nigerian ladies depend on their spouse for financial support, I believe such laws would just put the family in more harm. Whatevr happened to counselling, rehab and so on., why is it that in Nigeria we always take things to the extreme? Furthermore, did you ever consider that domestic abuse could also happen when females are the aggressor, would you also recommend 7 years of jail time in such a situation?

It's a pity most of you ladies are able to detect signs but still find yourselves in such a situation. This goes to show that when we talk about matters of the heart anything can happen at any time. Some women will provoke their man to the point that he is forced to get physical, some do it thru nagging, others do it by cheating or even striking first. I've seen men say with big conviction that they'll never hit a woman but only for life to put them in such a situation, life is funny that way.

Some Nigerians and their frustrated souls, they never seem to amaze me. If you are hungry and stressed out just say so instead of bashing a comedian for speaking his mind. When Celebs perform abroad they are treated with much respect, nothing like begging but in Nigeria touts plenty everywhere, the guy just dey do comparative analysis, why una dey get high blood pressure?

There's nothing wrong in watching it as long as you know when to stop. Forget the religious crap, it actually helps men perform better in bed. There's nothing more sexier than a woman who watches porn with you and afterwards practiced what was watched

One good thing that will come out of this election is that whoever becomes president will be heavily scrutinized and monitored. Nigerians are no longer sleeping, imagine Job creation bill after how many years

The golden rule is treat others the way you want to be treated, if you cheat on a spouse that never cheated on you, then you have broken this rule and no amount of goodwill can change this fact until you repent. Now let's be realistic it's a lot harder for men to be faithful than women because most women fear being judged by society and most men believe that as long as they buy gifts and take care of the woman financially they can do and undo. The fact still remains anybody can be unfaithful, anyone can make a mistake but what you do after matters alot! Would you repent or continue towards the path of destruction?

Seriously some Nigerians are just dumb, there's no doubt about it! When GMB said he borrowed 25m for nomination form, people automatically assumed that he's broke not knowing that some of the wealthiest people in the world do business on credit or borrowing. The more money you have, the more banks and other lending facilities are willing to give you a loan, even Dangote owes the bank some money. Nigerians should stop all these nonsense distractions and focus on real issues, how can we call ourselves people of a great nation when an election is decided by certificates and propaganda instead of the status of the economy and the safety of the people.

I think Nigerians need a refresher course on the meaning of rural, urban and metropolitan areas. The photos clearly shows this is not a rural town, rural areas in the United States shows large farmlands, cornfields, animal stock and so on.

Now:
Anybody can accept any gift but does that make him to read it or accept Jesus Christ as his personal lord and Saviour?

And why should he accept Jesus? Are you trying to impose your religion on him?? The man as a sign of respect accepted the gift, that alone is remarkable considering he's a very strong believer of Islam.