₦airaland Forum

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys, I am a 36 years old single mother of four. My son will be 15 in August, first daughter 10 in october, my third 5 and youngest 3 by june.

I have separated from my husband because he didn't want my son to come and live with us, I have been taking care of them singlehandedly for 3 years.

I have been friend with this man, a widower who is 57 years and a father of 2 children. He is asking for my hand in marriage. To be honest, I don't want to be married again, all I want is to focus on raising my kids because I have been through a lot in my previous marriage and I don't want another marriage wahala.

He asked for my hand in marriage, I rejected him and I had explained to him why I don't want to marry again. I told him what my ex did, he said he is a mature man he will love me and my children and he will never hate them or ask them to leave his house. I told him I have to think about it and I will get back to him ASAP. But I am still scared to accept his proposal because I don't want history to repeat itself and he is still on my neck. He wants me to accept his proposal. I am confused.

Please advice me. Is it a wise choice for me to get married again after everything I have been through in the past?

masterchi:
oga I don't hate her songs. Someone recommended one, I'll find time and listen to it..

masterchi:
she doesn't do my kind of music, so don't actually know what to do with her songs

God1000:
Are you going to vote in this week's election? It will be a pity not to vote after all the noise and dirty fight online.

Other people will decide for you if you don't vote.

As for me, I will vote

Norah199:
Good morning guys. I need some matured minds and married men and women in the house to look into this matter and give me an ideal way to go about this. Would be a long read pls bear with me.

So late late 2021, I got married to my long time girlfriend. Before the marriage, my mom had a little reservation about the girl and her family for some odd reasons due to her tribe. She’s Igbo. Everything was funny because the first day I introduced my wife to my mom. She liked her and everything was cool. They where going on well until my mom started telling me she’s having some dreams about the girl and her family. She’s white garment member. I think her dislike started growing when she told my wife about her church and she said she can’t go to her church for any reason. I was a former member of the church when I was a teenager but with time as I grew I stopped going to the church not because it’s a bad church or something wrong with it. I just don’t fancy going there and also not a church type of person. My mom believe it was the girl that made me stopped going to the church which was funny. She has said that several times.

For the record, I’m an only child of my mother, my dad is late and she’s yet to marry again. I do everything for her like her rent, monthly upkeep, and also got her a good car. Initially I thought she was doing all these because she felt she hasn’t enjoyed me yet and another woman is coming into the picture which is normal for most parents. So I did everything I could to make her comfortable before my wedding.

We did the wedding and everything went on smoothly aprt from some normal family disputes and all but the wedding was successful. Deep down I know my mom still doesn’t like my girl because of her statement s most times but I don’t always give her that room so she’s always quiet and rather not talk what’s on her mind.
Later on, my mom started complaining of the money I give to her. She seems not to be ok with it. Trust me guys. I do more than enough for my mom. I just tried my best to handle everything well and sometimes allow her have her ways with her demands so she doesn’t see my wife as a stumbling block to her.

To cut the long story short, my wife took in and was due for delivery and her mother came like a month before the delivery. Actually my wife had a false labour that made us rush to the hospital and doctor said she has very high maleria and was in serious labor. I called the mother immediately and she started coming the next morning because she lives in the East. The doctor gave her some injections and drugs for the maleria and the labor stopped. Doctor told us it wasn’t the right time for the baby to come out because it was 8 months.
The next morning when she was strong, we went back home with the mother that was already in town.

The mother decided to stay till the delivery instead of going back and coming again when she delivers which I supported.
Two weeks the doctor gave us turned to 1 month and labor didn’t still come. All these while I never knew my mom was so bitter that my mother inlaw was in my house for that long. She once asked me why the woman didn’t go and come back. It was that bad. To make matters worse, I lost my child after a CS was done on my wife. It appeared the baby was in distress which the doctors failed to notice and came out with birth asphyxia. After about two weeks, she died. I opened a thread on that.

Problem started after I buried my child. Everyone was in sorrow and so much pains especially my wife. A day after the burial my mother called my mother inlaw and asked her why she hasn’t gone yet. Started accusing the woman of killing the child and all manners of things. How she had turned her husband to vegetable and now she wants to teach her daughter how to turn her son into vegetable too. It was really bad. They both insulted each other and quarreled seriously on the phone just a day after the lost of my child. She also called my wife and told her “shebi she doesn’t want children” my wife was quiet and didn’t utter a word.

I was in so much pain and so pissed at my mom for everything she did and didn’t even speak to her for like a month even though I still sent her upkeep money. I reported her to her uncle and a few respected people. I don’t know if they talked to her but nothing was done. No body called for any meeting even her own pastor that I reported to. Instead he told me it’s woman talk. That they both insulted each other and the rest..

After that incident till date. My wife, mother, and mother inlaw haven’t spoken to each other even though I have had more peace since then but the fact still remains my mom and wife are not in good terms. I have long forgiven and moved on with my mom even though that closeness is not there but I don’t fail to send her money for upkeep every month. My wife is cool with it and said she doesn’t want that closeness with my mom even though she has forgiven her too.

My mom and I talks once in a while and never for once has she asked about my wife since that incident and my wife hasn’t called either which I don’t blame her. The last time I visited my mom. She said some ill things about my wife and her family and even told me my wife is not my rightful wife and some other things. I usually don’t listen to her talks because I know how religion has turned so many people into something else.

The question right now guys. What do I do in this situation. The truth is nothing can change my moms mind about my wife and her family. But still as a husband, I still feel somehow knowing my wife and mom are not in good terms. My mother inlaw the last time told me she wants to make peace with my mom that they can’t keep fighting forever especially because of her daughter. But deep down I know the thought my mom have about them. So I just told her it’s not the right time and with time everything will be fine. I can’t force my wife to call my mom because she didn’t do no wrong. At the same time my mom won’t even listen to me for any peace making. There are more things to say but I will end here. Sorry for the long write up.
Your opinions would be deeply appreciated.
Thank you 🙏

Duchessree:
There's nothing that can be done, please leave them like that.

masterchi:
All this hype and I don't even know any of her songs

Peritome:
Yea, I'm actually in such category. But why is he bringing it to the media now that's he's gone. What happened to his birthdays to blow it open when he was alive.

Nawttiboi007:
I see North still retaining the power. They seem to be ahead of the game. The southern votes is divided and I don’t see the Northern giving up on their own (Atiku)

Zonefree:
A school dropout always believes everyone is a coward like him.


Vote Obi for the restoration of your brain.

Oloniyan:
They might actually be very close when Atsu was alive.

I really don't see his action as clout chasing.
Some people will help you and warn you never to disclose it as they never really like publicity.

Peritome:
Just like that song goes "Appreciate me, now when I dey alive"

chisomkachy:
Nana Sechere is the player's agent.



https://twitter.com/iAmNana7/status/1626846973675315201?t=iIQ93WCO9PSMMP4GsGW__g&s=19[/quote]Rest on brother.

Camplying:
We stand with the Unifer

Theyemmie:
So from the beginning the relationship was perfect,he was the best ,normally he's not my type of guy,but he was there for me when I was at a low point in my life,we started as friends, then feelings developed, and he was the absolute best,no guy has ever treated me like that
So he asked for my hand in marriage, normally I am a pessimist, I expect the worst,create different scenarios in my head and how I would react when it happens and stuffs
So when he talked about the marriage stuff , I started thinking about what would go wrong (because he's kind of boring ,not spontaneous and not wild a lil bit),so I started thinking if the marriage would be boring and if I won't get tired of him as he's not my usual type of guy

so I sent a message to someone asking for advice ,then mistakenly he saw it and it turned to yam pepper scatter scatter sha
I begged him ,he really cried that I have been stringing him along ,which is not so,I do love him a lot
I begged him sha and we continued the relationship, but the relationship has changed a lot,he's not even asking for my hand in marriage again
I'm the one pestering him
and when I threaten him with break up ,he begs me not to,that he's just taking his time with me
This issue happened 2yrs ago o,how long is it going to take


I just feel I should break up with him,but can't seem to let him go
Is it some kind of pay back?
And I am not getting any younger

VoidLife7:
Good day all,


Please i need your sincere input to this subject matter


I am from an average family of 6 living in Lagos. My father is a surveyor, while my mother a petty trader. My mother lost his younger brother's wife after child birth, through cesarian surgery.. My mum was the only female amongst 4 siblings, she was beseeched to look after the infant and her little brother. That was how my parents began nurturing these kids. I could recall vividly how my dad often supply the house with baby food so she could be properly fed. I saw how my dad and mum took turns at mid night looking after her. My dad lost his only sister four years after and he was given the responsibility to look after her last baby who was almost 2 years. I lost my dad 2015 when the little girl was 10, her brother 12 and the other child was just 8. My mum had 4 biological kids, 3 boys and a girl. The girl was the first child, happily married with kids. I have an elder brother and a younger brother. I was intermediate my brothers. Till date, these children acknowledged my parents as their biological parents. They never knew we aren't blood from same parents. We all had same surname. The little girl wrote her WAEC last year and cleared all her papers with distinctions and credit. She had the intention to study law or foreign languages.


I enrolled her in fashion designing immediately after her secondary school, as she had shown interest. It's less than a year she got enrolled and she's already sewing styles. She's heading to become a seamstress in the not too distant future. She also makes hair. Though not professional and she never learnt it.


My mum summoned me last month informing me she'd be giving my little sister out for marriage once she clocks 18 by May this year. She claimed i had been teaching in private school earning 30k monthly and my elder brother working in a factory earning 35k. We got bills to pay for ourselves and the kids. She asserted that the burden is already taken a toll on us. I and my elder brother are the ones supporting the family with accommodation, feeding, school fees et al. My mum claimed there was no money to pursue her education. We couldn't even afford to get her a sewing machine. The little girl suggested she get enlisted into the Nigeria navy or Immigration Service with her WAEC result, and also as a fashion designer. Perhaps, that could enable her pursue her law degree in subsequent time as an officer. My mum wasn't convince with her idea. She claimed there was no one to help her get enlisted successfully. She insisted in giving her out to a 43 years old divorces whose wife had abandoned with 3 kids. My mum was so ignorance enough to believed giving her out for marriage will help lessen our burden😭


I felt like giving my mum good hot slap having realised the reason i got summoned. I felt the burden is really weighing her down, making her think otherwise. I had kept my mum at arm length since then. Hopefully, that'd propel her have a change of mind. I sincerely got her plight though but that shouldn't be an option. She seems not to understand her decision would destroy the girl's life completely. She claimed it wasn't her fault. She sincerely wish we are capable of looking after the children, then she'd support her dreams and aspirations. She believed when there's no money, you shouldn't be found discussing anything that requires money. I've been so down ever since then. She claimed i i hadn't saved myself yet and i was worried saving someone else. She's my sister and i can't leave her behind. She never treated her badly for a day though and nobody knows she wasn't her biological child. If for instance, anyone come up tomorrow informing her or her siblings that my parents aren't their biological parents, they'd never pay attention to it. I was even threatening to report her to the family but she claimed the family can't do nothing. This little girl has good plans, dreams and aspirations but my mum wants to cut it short and shattered due to our challenges.


Please i need advice going forward. I really want to keep my family together🙏❤

TheRareGem1:
Vice President Yemi Osinbajo SAN attends the 90th Birthday thanksgiving church service of his Mum, Mrs. Olubisi Osinbajo at the St Jude Cathedral Church in Ebute Metta, lagos. 16th Feb, 2023.

aminulive:
He says the country cannot depend on oil revenues for prosperity



https://www.economist.com/by-invitation/2023/02/15/asiwaju-bola-tinubu-on-why-he-is-running-to-be-nigerias-president

hisexcellency34:
This policy may favour the candidate that doesn't give shishi

post=120960228:
South-East South-South Professionals Association Of Nigeria Endorses Labour Party Candidate Peter Obi For President

IyaTola:

habsydiamond:
no vex my oga na wetin economy dey do me no let me see say na same thing we dey talk

hardbody:
Lol. OK sir. She won't see me to give me the brief. I don't even handle matters for individuals, I was just explaining on general terms.

hardbody:
I am ethically trained to take up any and every case except i conscientiously believe it is against all i stand for. (The complainant or plaintiff (in a civil suit) and the accused in criminal matters have rights and the law say, ubi jus ubi remedium - where there is a right, there is a remedy) Hence I will even take a glaringly bad case and work on getting a respite even if through technicalities. So yes, I certainly will take up the case if i have to.

habsydiamond:
if na so dem dey strong reach why we no get soakaway digger for them side, or well digger among them.

Wawelexy:
To me, I see that man as a coward!!! Why not brace up and be brave to let your partner (the mother of your kids) know you are not feeling her anymore, tell her what the issue is and if no changes, tell her straight that you want to quit but still will be responsible for your kids welfare... I think that's better than running into the thin air like a car exhaust...

Do you even have the idea of what would have ran through the mind of your family, wife and even your kids for that period of 3 months? How do you want the kids to see their father? A coward? An irresponsible man who runs away from his burdens? An unfaithful man? The list goes on and on... As a kid, I can't even forgive such father... cos if you can do this now for an excuse as flimsy as this, then my future isn't save with you when bigger challenges shows up...

Franzinni:
Women take note... All the cho cho cho you like to do in your h711ome, always trying to out talk your husband, soliciting advice from your hair dresser and your pastor and other idiots who are single or in a hellish relationship, hellbent on bringing you down to thier wrenched level ... Take note. Or you will become the example...

There is little or no benefit in marriage for men and most men stay with you ONLY becasue of the kids... They will endure your BS till they develop stroke and die unappreciated.

Marriage is a scam... That is why they give you certificate without exam.

CodeTemplar:
According to Britannica, Valentine's Day, also called St. Valentine's Day, holiday (February 14) is a day when lovers express their affection with greetings and gifts.

lovers express love with gift and greetings.
Why is it a one sided affair with Nigerians? Hardly will your see ladies giving gift and when they do, it is more likely to be inferior in value to what they expect and demand.

JoeEeL:
Am I right?

Omicronvaccine:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajk4TVQvZfs&t=12s



https://igberetvnews.com/1438956/cant-love-nigeria-without-money-nedu-wazobia/