₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
I am only stressing the fact that the word family has long been redefined and reclassified in our time, yet here we are in 2023 pretending we are having a serious debate about the family structure, all while applying a definition which was last considered valid back in the 1970s/1980s.

lhordspy:
The highest you can do is doubt. Man will doubt. God decides.

My friend, you are not God.

Kobojunkie:
If you check you local census office, you would note that a family isn't defined as a unit made up of a man, woman and children. A family was defined for us as such in primary school for obvious reasons, but in the real world, it comes in all shapes and sizes.

atheistandproud:
The collapse of the family structure in society will always predate the collapse of a society. This is usually one of the signs to look out for. In communities where the family structure has completely broken down, society deteriorates with it.

You can't fix this one with a swoosh of a magic wand.(donotcopy) This is because this problem is a oroborosian one. The breakdown of the family structure exacerbates the breakdown of society which in turn causes the family structure to breakdown even faster.

In Nigeria here, with the introduction of celebrity culture and the internet going into full swing at some point in the mid 2000s, it only served to worsen and spread(donotcopy) one of the worst tendencies that we have...the worship of money.

Throw Instagram in several years later and a corner has been turned. The first victims of this were unfortunately young people. The ladies in particular who were bombarded with images (usually enhanced or fake) of an unattainable life led by the 1%. They soon imbibed it and made it their standard.

Instagram celebrities like Linda Ikeji also added fuel to the fire. If he doesn't earn in dollars or in 6 figures, dump him. If he doesn't have a car, he's not your class(donotcopy). If he doesn't this, if he doesn't that etc. Soon the young men will fall victim and would now look to attain these standards set by Instagram celebrities and enforced by women. This is on top of the already bogus culture of bride price that extorts men.

If that wasn't bad enough, even people who were already married would choose to impose these standards on their long time spouses, both male and female.(donotcopy) Marriage is no longer about teamwork, it's now about getting one's way. If you don't have your way or you're not happy, DIVORCE!!!

With the hunt for money in full swing and a new phenomenon of divorce rapidly tearing through marriages, there's a whole generation of kids that do not know the comfort and stability of a 2-parent home. The single parents are too tired from working that they simply do not have the energy to parent their kids.

With poor leadership, ever disappearing jobs, zero opportunities etc.(donotcopy) There's only one way to reach these standards. Crime!

In many communities the glorification of crime, discouragement and suspicion of education, absenteeism of fathers (and mothers too), fewer opportunities, impoverished neighbourhoods etc. has become the norm(donotcopy).

Yahoo boys (internet fraudsters), 419-ers (local fraudsters), kidnappers, armed robbers, violent cultists, drug-dealers, ritualists, organ harvesters etc. have become role models for children whose parents have all but abdicated their responsibility.

Without the family structure to act as a buffer between these impressionable young minds and the cancer of societal vices, the hope of any future family structure for future generations tanks even further.

Because of the above, all of these things are factors that lead to a sort of trap that is very difficult to break free of because the young ones are, to all intents and purposes, born into it and will probably never escape it.

Kobojunkie:
Wait a second.... Why does it seem as though the OP assumes family is defined by marriage, and divorce an enemy?

lhordspy:
Mehmet Murat once stated that:
"When an ignorant engages in ignorant things or when he comes together with other ignorant, his ignorance will deepen and his fate will worsen! "

I have nothing to say anymore or do to convince anybody anymore.... I have done my best to make ignorant people see the light, to save them from drowning in the sea of delusion but In an unitelligent ignorant societies, the clever are denigrated and the stupid are belauded; the brainy are stoned and the dull are held in high esteem. Which explains why some people see a dull , incompetent man as a Messiah even when all facts, figures, and histories which points to his incompetency, bigotry and extremism are there see.

Vote your candidate nairalanders, Let me Lhordspy vote mine.
We meet at the poll.

2mch:
These old men are always fighting for money. Tinubu does not give them face at all. I guarantee you if Tinubu finally give them money they have been chasing him for all these years, they will change their tune. They are the biggest traitors of Yoruba and belong to the class of nuisance that betrayed MKO. Nobody takes them seriously.

2mch:
These old men are always fighting for money. Tinubu does not give them face at all. I guarantee you if Tinubu finally give them money they have been chasing him for all these years, they will change their tune. They are the biggest traitors of Yoruba and belong to the class of nuisance that betrayed MKO. Nobody takes them seriously.

Thinkam:
Because your penis became weak and shrunk?

This guy must always be hard, a flaccid penis is post to be weak and shrunk.

No such thing as stealing penis

Shalommy:
Chaii.. They should snatch all the rapist organs so that we'll have rest of mind.

Goodlady:
He's not picking my calls cos I told him I wanted a car as val gift.
I just told him how I had a busy schedule last week and I wasted lots of money oh tfare plus the stress in entering cabs.
We were discussing and I mentioned I wish I had a car and we just talked normally.
Since last Friday, I v been trying to reach him but he's not picking my phone.
I called his friend to ask after him. He called back n told me he's going to check on me but he hasn't.
Why is he acting like he doesn't care?
Could my instinct be right that he's trying to run cos I mentioned I wanted car?

Fineman2:
another guest, I don't think so

But thanks for your advise

Upset700:
I've been having issues with guys for years now, especially with guys I sleep with.
Whenever I like a guy, or get interested in a guy and then i have sex unintentionally (he wants it but I don't).. After then there's this irritation, I loose interest, I cut the person off.

It's more like he has sold his value to me, like there's no prize, probably he is a great guy but that act alone makes me very uncomfortable.
I know this is usually a guy thing, but I've been struggling with this for years.

I feel men should also stop selling themselves cheap...cus they are women who wouldn't value what they can get easily.

VTJN:
I only hope that Nigeria will not become a zoo after the election?

TrumpDonald2:
So building a party is now a criterion for becoming a presidential aspirant against competence?

You urchins and una shittt filled brains.

VTJN:
Lol

You're tired of APC and PDP and you are projecting a former PDP candidate as alternative in place of the two major political party?


No worry you go join Datti and Aisha Yusufu cry after the defeat of Obi at the polls 😀

sapele914:
So just imagine the nonsense a waiver candidate will do, have you asked yourself who does Peter Obi know in the Labor Party that he joined?

Who is he going to make Ministers, and heads of agencies when he doesn’t know anyone in the The Labor parry other than the fellow low life politician criminals from pdp that fled with him?

ie. Doyin Okupe, Ahmed Dirty & Co.

Road2Success:
Hello nairalanders,

Please I will want you all to read this. though I am not a good writer. I rented an apartment somewhere on the Lagos island. We are just 4 in the compound. When I parked into my apartment my wife came with a pregnancy but we lost the baby when she gave birth to the boy. The following year she got pregnant again, The baby also died the day she gave birth. I am not a religious person but my wife is closer to God. She has been telling me about this compound but I just don't have any reason to think or suspect anything.

Lemme tell you in my compound if one of us is working the others will lose there job. I have no reason to be suspecting anything untill I heard that one of the tenants is owning our landlord 2 years rent and our landlord didn't raise voice. In this Lagos that I know landlord don't joke with house rent. Our landlord don't bother us for rent. Sometimes I will be the one sending the house rent to him without him even asking.

I also heard that was the same thing that happened to previous occupants. They lived there without paying for many years and the landlord didnt disturb them.

I won't say our live is better in this house. We are just struggling to survive. Currently I am the only one working while others don't have a job. I am beginning to doubt if our landlord is truly a generous man as we do called him, since he don't bother us for rent.

My wife have lost two pregnancy in this house. I have been jobless many times in this house. I honestly need people opinion on this matter.

Is this house diabolic or the landlord is just a generous man

Moderators please help me move this to front page

Naijalarry:
Source- https://www.channelstv.com/2023/02/10/kwankwaso-rejects-pre-election-polls-says-nnpp-has-locked-north/

1Battery:
Ever since we have been growing as kids and now into adults we have known no peace because of my sister, she has been a torn to everyone's flesh we don't know peace because of this lad.

Her marriage couldn't last because of her attitude, can you imagine it lasted for a year the husband can't afford to take her back because of her way world life style she attacks the man with any available weapon around, the man couldn't take it anymore he had to throw her things out of the house.

Since then she has been in our house fighting every one ,the other time she wanted to fight my mom telling her that if time is not taking she will be in the hospital treating her self,
Plus so many other things

Most times I just wish I never had a sister. This lady has caused us so much troubles in life, at every small thing she blows the families secret to everyone's ear and the worst part she is a single mother of two boys.

We are just tired of her on a serious note, I have decided to get her arrested and sent to prison if she continues.

I don't know if this is what having a sister means. in my next life I don't wish to have any
I will commit murder if her nonsense continues.

Onedayoneday:
Based on tips, I had to attend an interview today. The information was that if I am shortlisted, I will start work latest first week of March. So I was very happy and ready to do anything to attend the interview.

As an applicant without a kobo, I had to kneel down begging a neighbour before he borrowed me 1k to enable me pay my way. The transport fare to and from was to gulp N400 or more.

My in and out was just the 1k. In fact, my feeding was also inside the 1k - everything. So it was a priceless 1k that every kobo was very important.

Early in the morning, I heard people arguimg over the deadline for new naira notes. People refused to collect the old naira notes.

So I boarded a bus with the N1000 note which I paid to the conductor. My transport fare was N100. When I came down, the conductor gave me new N500 note and two old N200 notes, making it N900. I refused to collect the old N200 notes. He insisted he didnt have new naira notes to change for me. Argument ensued as I refused to collect the old notes.

Like I said, that was the only money with me. So I didnt want to take any chances of collecting old notes that I will later not be able to use. So in the midst of the argument, he wanted to move and leave, I tried to stop him by gently holding his t-shirt. I didnt know his polo shirt was that soft. Unluckily for me, the polo got torn.

That was how war was declared. The conductor and the driver descended on me. They first targeted at tearing my shirt too despite showing remorsefulness over getting his shirt torn. Not once, not twice, they kept tearing my shirt till at some point, I put a resistance. Of course that couldn't be without a fight. I won't lie, those guys dealt with me. Two agbero hands descending on one non-agbero hand. Before people could intervene, they tore my shirt and a part of my trouser, gave me serious bruises, got me so dirty and stopped me from attending the interview.

I went back home like a mad man.

A very sad day for me.

May God help and bless me with a well-paid job.

The struggle continues!!!

Zupay:
My cousin's son has been a source of disturbance to me for the past 2 weeks.

The background story.

My cousin got pregnant with him when she was 19 but the father who then in his mid 20s denied the pregnancy in the presence of both families and went on to claim the reason he gave her money to procure an abortion was because he was only one of the guys sleeping with my cousin at the time (which was a blatant lie) and it was his own contribution.

My Uncle and Aunt (my cousin's parents) had to accept the guy's denial and solely took care of my cousin's pregnancy. Her son was born in 2007 and bears my Uncle's name, he was taken care of by his grandparents, uncles and aunts as his mother went back to school and graduated. My cousin got a better paying job in 2015 and moved out of their family house with her son, who is presently in S.S.2.

The biological father resurfaced sometime last year in May, starting to make claims and all. He went directly to the boy's school to introduce himself and starting meeting the boy, buying him things without my cousin's knowledge until the man showed up at my uncle's house with some of his relatives but my uncle didn't receive them.

The boy was becoming rude to his mother, talking back at her, telling her he would push for a change in his surname to that of his biological father, became cold to his grandparents etc To cut long story, he moved to his father's house in August of last year and resumed school from there. My cousin (his mother) was seriously sick in October of last year, this boy never bothered to call on his mother despite knowing of her illness and he has a phone he uses freely.

My cousin (his mother) relocated to the UK early this January, on a skilled worker visa as she works in a children' home and have made up her mind to refocus on getting married and having other kids. Her son has been calling her, which she has never picked also sending her long stories of how his father's wife have been maltreating him even in the presence of his father and the father would say nothing. Pleading with the mother to bring him over to the UK to live with her (her visa allows her to bring her son to the UK easily since he is under 18) but my cousin have not been replying him and this boy has been disturbing me to talk his mother on his behalf as I am very close to my cousin.

I have spoken to my cousin severally and she insisted she has washed off her hands where her son is concerned, that she doesn't want him around her as she needs to live singly and have a relationship that would lead to marriage, that she really wants to settle down.

I have told the boy to concentrate on finishing secondary school but he seems obsessed with wanting to relocate to the UK though my other cousin (his mother's younger brother) has confirmed that the boy is having it rough living with the father, his wife and other children.

I believe his mother has a right to have a new lease of life.

This boy is always messaging me asking for updates, I don't know what else to tell him!

christistruth01:
Peter Obi never built a Party in his life

He only hijacked the ones others painstakingly built over decades

From APGA,to PDP to Labour Party

The man has no Political Ideology

ebukajay184:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPAmsQZxCmY



https://igberetvnews.com/1438729/buy-land-bishop-oyedepo-tells-congregants-video/

anthonyuncle:
everyone should express themselves

iwaeda:
https://gazettengr.com/like-vacuum-cleaner-i-will-eliminate-corruption-buhari-left-mess-tinubu/

KingMack:
If the pains are much you'll find your way to the hospital other than come here to receive a thousand and one suggestions

Bradford111:
Hello everyone it's been 3 months since I had sex with a random girl and having been having boils coming up only my dick every time.

Taken a lot of drugs and even rubbed tubes like funbact act A and some other antibacterial the boils would go but when I stop using the antibacterial cream they will resurface.

Please I need advice on how to go about this am suffering and so uncomfortable right now.

anthonyuncle:
you better explain to them that you don't want to rush into marriage.
let them know that yes, you are selective but that's because you don't want to make a mistake

Ficklemind:
Are my course mates my enemies? Does the picture mean I’m into them or they are into me? Don’t I take pictures with female friends too? Because he doesn’t feel comfortable with it doesn’t mean others will too.

Maybe you should check my previous post and see that I don’t flirt with random guys.

Ficklemind:
Good evening, please how do I politely tell my married ex to stop bringing back our past memories?

My ex and I separated on good terms, he is AS likewise myself so we had to go on our separate ways. It over 6 years that we separated but we still talk once in a while. I don’t have any feelings for him anymore but I don’t know about him and I don’t have any intention of seeing him either though we are far away from each other.

I don’t want to block him and I don’t want to offend him ,but when I take a picture with a random male friend and I upload it on my status ,he tells me he is jealous that the guy is an idiot for holding me or touching me. Asking for my recent pictures and sending me my old pictures that I don’t even remember existed.

This guy is married with a child. How to I politely tell him to stop all this because I don’t feel comfortable with them.

Ficklemind:
Good evening, please how do I politely tell my married ex to stop bringing back our past memories?

My ex and I separated on good terms, he is AS likewise myself so we had to go on our separate ways. It over 6 years that we separated but we still talk once in a while. I don’t have any feelings for him anymore but I don’t know about him and I don’t have any intention of seeing him either though we are far away from each other.

I don’t want to block him and I don’t want to offend him ,but when I take a picture with a random male friend and I upload it on my status ,he tells me he is jealous that the guy is an idiot for holding me or touching me. Asking for my recent pictures and sending me my old pictures that I don’t even remember existed.

This guy is married with a child. How to I politely tell him to stop all this because I don’t feel comfortable with them.