₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
At least you have option of running away.

What of her poor husband? How has the man been coping bikonu??

Or has he run away too?

yeyeosoronga:
Get her to be more accountable to you, and even to herself.
Help her get a loan for her business, under her own name. You can act as a guarantor, so that las las if she defaults on payment , you will bail her out but that will allow her know that she can jeopardise her credit worthiness.
Allow people appreciate money, and don't make it seem as though it's so easy to get the money. She doesn't appreciate all you do because it probably comes on a platter.
If she is travelling and doesn't tell you of her plans, do same to her. Plan a travel for the weekend, perhaps to visit your parents or a business related trip and tell her the night before, or on the day before. Some people do things without consideration for others, not necessarily out of malicious intent but because they dont think deep enough. When you do same to her, she will develop empathy for that same thing and would have learnt a lesson. But if she doesn't care whether you tell her or not, sorry, love isn't a strong forte in your marriage. It doesn't mean you can't still have a good marriage. Many marriages still thrive on less, even without love so no biggie.
As per the sex thing, 3x a week is more than enough. Negotiate a timetable for sex. Yes, I said it. It should be spontaneous blablabla, but real life events may mean you won't get any, despite being married. So, negotiate early now. Why doesn't she like sex anymore? Is she always tired? Are her hormones playing up?, let her get her thyroid checked too. Fortunately, I hear there's a new drug to help women's libido sexually. It's not yet approved in most countries, but it could help her. There's also the Spanish fly nonsense they talk about. In the past, which position did she like during the act, let more of that happen now than just the one you like. Also, make sure you're still attractive to other women. Nobody likes a pot bellied, smelly person who wears one boxer shorts 2-3 days in a row. Always smell fresh, come home fromm work, take a shower , relax to have your meal and watch TV to unwind. Wear nice pyjamas or sleep wear , fresh ones daily. Even if its sleeping in a singlet due to heat, wear a fresh singlet.
I'm not been sarcastic here. You have to look after yourself. Not just because of your spouse, but for your own selfworthiness. Join a gym too while at it.
If you dont show others you value your looks, body and you're a god, how would they value it?

TheMan3:
you guys make a mistake of putting beauty of environment as priority as against humanity. What happens to the families of the millions that has just been rendered jobless by this small move? Do you know how many children that will drop out of school because of this?

Let's have love of humanity in our hearts first before anything. Nobody will love to do okada or Keke work everyday if they have jobs.

If we are to compare Lagos with Tokyo and newyork, does Lagos have well organised subway system? Are there functional high speed trains? What about monorails and trams? Are there jobs? What about social security, access to credit and business support system?

Bottom line, before the government brings a policy that will in one swoop render over a million people jobless, they should ensure the society is working.

These people are trying against all odds to put food of their table, and the same government that destroyed the society is still the same one opposing them. This Is sad.

Dont put beauty of the state before humanity.

cococandy:
Yes she helped him build it. If he had to stay home to raise their kids, he wouldn’t be able to achieve what he did. That’s a fact.

Her contributions are valid and equal to his. Unless he considers the money to be worth more than his children and family. She birthed and raised them for the family. That’s a significant contribution to the family.

We look down on that because it’s women who do it.
because we are raised to not respect women and their efforts.

Reason why I can never encourage a woman to listen to her husband and stay at home in the name of being submissive. Unless that’s her choice made out of her free will.

After you spend your youth working to raise and keep the home, it’s discarded as nothing and you have to be dependent and subservient. begging for what’s rightfully yours. Even enduring disrespect so that you won’t lose out.

God bless you my Sister.. the rate some men and women disrespect women staying at home to raise their children is amazing...they forget that two people cannot stay at home raising children neither can two people go to work raising "ĢOOD" And well Balanced CHILDREN.

jasmine1600:
"I am the most abused and insulted president in the world but when I leave office, you will all remember me for the total ‘freedom’ you enjoyed under my government."

~ Goodluck Jonathan, 2014

Switruth:
. Boss can you list me the number of projects that calls for urgent attention more than market demolition. ?

jclassiq:
Do you just start consuming your fruits immediately you pick it up from the market? Then you must be a dirty person yourself.

Switruth:
This should be the least of Lagos state government problem.

SageMK:
You did this to yourself by marrying a complete stranger.
That was a deadly gamble and look at how it back fired.

Can your marriage still be savage?

Even if you birth his offspring, you'll still wake up to cook his meal, take care of the baby, open your legs for him and still receive absolutely no love from him.

I'd advise you to walk away but your post presents you as someone incapable of making good decisions, lack self esteem and give a too much shít about what people say. This here means there is a great chance you will walk into the same kind of relationship again.

I suggest you take the bull by the horns.

It seems you want to leave so threaten him with that.
Demand a change to his attitude. If you can't face him, just pack your bags. Life is too short to tolerate bullshít.

Capensis:
Will you pay attention and stop this victim mentality. It is either you will take advise, since you brought this matter to the court of public opinion, or you will narrate your experience, believe your wife is the worst woman and conclude that you are leaving a marriage. You are sounding emotional and your feedback system has totally clouded your judgment.

Pay attention:
Being a husband is a full-time job. Just like any job, it comes with serious responsibilities and repercussions if you fail to understand how the game is played.

1. It is your responsibility to get the money, pay the rent, pay kids school fees. You are the chief medical officer of your home, so everyone's health including your wife's and kids', are under your care.

2. You are the chief security officer of your home, you must check that all doors are locked at night and ensure the safety of everyone in the family.

3. You are the chief romance officer, you must master how to play women with sweet words, give her massage every evening, and make sweet love to her during the massage sessions, and I mean this. Get a massage table, it goes for about 180K to 300K for a good one. If you cant afford that, then buy massage mat. Prepare the oil and get some candles.

4. You must join her in the kitchen, even if there is a maid to do the chores and help her out, you must learn this. Wash those plates sometimes.

5. You must lie down with that woman on bed after sex, hold her face, and tell her truths and lies of how you love her. Then if you have nothing more to do, do some gossiping with her. Stroke her nicely and tell her how hard you are working to ensure your family is financial stable for the next 100 years.

6. You must stop thinking like your ancestors. Define your own path and ignore customary and traditional ways of running your home. Times have changed. Why wont you fetch water and wash your own hand. Seems she is the one doing all the kitchen work and you are the African man waiting to be served. It is not mandatory, besides do you know if her mother used to serve her father that way? It might be she got a different kind of training.

7. Do not ever think you have done enough, cos you havent done jack. If you feel that your wife is cheating, then rent a place somewhere else and move towards a different location. It does not matter if you own the house you are living now. Go and rent someplace nice for a year and move there and change your children's school so as to forget the shame and embarrassment your quarrel may have caused. If it is your house, you can return back after a year.

8. Always remember that most women are like babies. You must master how to lie to them if you know that truth will hurt. Learn all those skills from yahoo boys how they control white women and use it for your marriage. If you do it right, your wife might be giving you pocket money sometimes and you all will fall in love again.

Do you think your wife is bad? You have no idea. No one will tell you what is going on in their homes.

Master how to manipulate women, and you will control them like a intimacy gadget.

Chubhie:
She insults you,sends the accountant to embarrass you,the sister and the family also insults you?

Role reversal. She's now in a place of power and control while you are weakened.

How were you treating her and family when you were at the peak of your powers?

What are the lessons this situation is currently showing you?

What are your plans for a sizzling comeback to reclaim,restore and install true exemplary leadership?

You could put in the work and reclaim your world or take the easy way out.

Retrain your mind and hands to always get your water to wash your hands and serve yourself. Now, if someone perhaps your wife or maid offers to help out of love or service, be grateful and let them know about it.

dmbaiseboy:
So if anyone wants to commit suicide... We wld just tag it as depression ??

FortifiedCity:
There is a whole lot of selfishness in committing suicide.

What would warrant her to abandon 4 little kids and take her own life?

Come to JESUS and life will have a meaning to you

boss1310:
I want to say something about the things most of us are guilty of.people tend to love their mother more than their father and why.there are people who you won't know their father is still alive cos they barely talk about them
imagine my kids as grown ups and treating me unfairly compared to their mother after how I ve dedicated and denied myself many things for the sake of their upkeep.
Fathers tend to be strict but they are only trying to show you there are two sides to life and when you deal with harsh realities of life it is that training from your father, but some people will grow up and see it as wickedness and forget about their father.you don't expect him to be too emotional just like your mother.your father have few clothings and whatever money he saved he used it to buy properties for the future it doesn't mean he is stingy.its just love but not the same physical appearance as the mother's
I love both of my parents but I love my father the more cos that man taught me almost all I know though he was very strict with me yet I treat them equally when showing them care.I wonder how fathers feel when you carry all the love to your mother and am not just speaking from this topic above

PennywysCares:
Life is business

We are not praying for things like this to happen, but don't blame the Nigerian doctors there are they for business, they have their responsibilities and people who depend on them. Most of Nigerian private hospitals are on rented apartment so they pay rent, pay the workers and equip the hospital with medications needed to care for patients all at the expense of their money.

So if they used the necessary medication for Mr A without him paying for it, there will be no medication for Mr B when he comes for it. Hospitals are not charity organization, even in government hospitals the health officers do make account to the appropriate authorities

So save the hatred and hash words and reason it as a business. The cost of managing a hospital is higher this days, try to listen to doctors side of the stories.

Yuceeluv:
Nigeria really needs a Prophet ELISHA of our times...a ruthless and fearless prophet who believes in discipline before compassion.

Premiumwriter:
So Because they invite Trump for a meeting, buhari should also be invited, because they are all president


Some people only use their head for fashion

sanbells:
Hello Nairalanders.I'd really appreciate if someone could give a me a useful remedy to this.
I've been using this ''lemon Fresh lotion' for about 5 years now until this year.I loved the cream coz of it's scent and the fact that it helped clear of my pimples,infact,i'll give it an A in that.Buh of recent,I started noticing this greenish veins on my skin,especially my hands.Crazy thing is I never noticed it early,not until late.And I've always known those green veins to be a result of bleaching.I'm not a fan of bleaching,I never meant to bleach.I hate the look of these green veins.It's irritating.If I'd known the cream was like this I wouldn't have used it.I always look at ingredients before buying a cream buh that particular one didn't have any bleaching agent so i thought it was safe.besides,the cream cleared my pimples and rashes that's why I stuck to it.I changed my cream to Jergens buh I felt it got worse,I just want to bring back my skin to how it was,getting rid of those green veins.I'm currently using vaseline coz I know it's the least harmful cream and i don't want any more chemicals that will spoil my skin.Please good people,can anyone advice me on how I can get rid of these green veins cause I'm tired of seeing them and it irritates me.I'll appreciate every useful comment on this thread.Thanks.

Atikusadvocate:
Impressive, but from my experience, these type of people never make it much in life. They have the potentials to be great but a mixture of religious fanaticism, superstitious nonesense and bullshit from the parents never let them progress beyond praying frequently, textbook reading and memorization. Then they will end up going to medical school where they become normal students and later a regular, poorly paid Nigerian doctor.

My advice to you is as follows

- Go abroad for your studies and study what you love.
- Try to learn, not memorize for scores.
- God may exist, but religion is fake. He can neither be moved by worship nor prayers.
- Prayers does not work. It only works in our imagination.
- Avoid prayer warriors, pastors etc. They will doom you. I am already sorry for you if your parents are such people.
- Party moderately, drink mildly, avoid drugs, keep one sexual partner and use condoms.
- Explore your sexuality and get a well behaved partner as soon as you are in university.
- never gamble until you are 30 and even then, do it for fun not to get rich.
- Explore your sport and artistic talents. Success is not only found in books.

Drdreyy:
bloody liar! I believe you cooked-up the whole story. No Nigerian/African woman will ever voice out on issues like this, Not even under anonymity.

Nigerian/African women don't have issues with sexxx, because a large percentage of them have been genitally mutilated at childhood to suppress sexual urges/satisfaction/enjoyment. so sex means nothing to them as majority of them are like log of woods on bed.

So what the heck are you talking about? I suspect you are even a male disguising as a Female on NL. Pls look for a realistic story to tell next time.

buygala:
There are two possibilities here:

He just developed the sex issues recently and is yet to come to terms with that fact..

Or

He has always had those sex inadequacies. ..but he arranged himself with some sex enhancers in the early stages of the marriage, because he wanted to take your virginity like a boss, and enjoy the tight ermmmm...ermmm while the tightness lasted

And there is the possibility that having used all those burantashi on you, and kids having been produced and your vagina having expanded significantly, he no longer sees any reason to continue risking his overall health just to satisfy you ... in any case, he may think since he married you a virgin, you wouldn't know any better and will see his 2-minute sex stunts or no stunt except kids are needed as normal for married peeps

My advice:

Please cheat on him so that your sanity can be maintained .... being starved of sex is worse than being starved of food...it messes up the mind in a million ways... ..... and no, hoping and praying won't help you ... You have to take the bull by the horn and help yourself ...at your age, your sex hormones are still pretty strong. ..it would be courting disaster to unreasonably resist them.

Ignore him, get some good sex outside since he doesn't even want to acknowledge there is a problem with his abuna, much less take steps towards solving the problem and fulfilling his conjugal duty towards you

And no..getting some good sex outside won't make you a worse mum...as for being a worse wife to your hubby, he deserves it anyway....but if You can help it, still be a good wife ...but please find a way to cheat incognito. ..many are doing it and still have functional families who have no idea of what is going on

Modified. ..

I just woke up.this morning to this thread on Frontpage and a lot of mentions by mostly male folk...

You are entitled to your opinion just like I am entitled to mine ....Yes i am very young and unmarried, but I have a girlfriend who I have been with for a long time. ..a time longer than the duration of some so-called 'marriages' ...And the fact that our sex life is pretty solid has in no small way helped the relationship...of course there are times when either of us may not be in the mood for any action, leaving the other high and dry. ..but those kinda times are very few and far in between each other, and are very satisfactorily compensated for sooner

Op's husband doesn't even want to take steps to solve his problem, and all you self-righteous men be rooting for him and advising the lady to do this and do that all so she can ride her husband's Peniss ...if the man even did as little as acknowledging the problem, my advice would have been totally different. ...but here he is trying to force the op onto a state of sexual nowhere and all you dudes are saying she should talk to this person or that, do this or that, and generally stand by her husband and bear the brunt of his condition of unreasonable pride and stupidity .....

This life isn't always about what is 'right' or 'moral' .....the man has chosen to leave poor op sexually stranded, riding his high horse of pride and impotence aloofly....Speaking a lot of grammer to whoever, becoming a stripper for husby, praying 69 times a day, begging for a dick that's supposed to be hers when and however she wants, is not only unfair to the woman, but reeks of masculine hypocrisy....as if if it's the husband being denied of the puna unreasonably, he will be so nice as to take most of the steps as prescribed by the self-righteous people who mentioned me

In any case, it's Op's life...it's doesn't matter if you all agree with me or not...Op, having seen the multitude of advice given her here, is totally free to adopt the one her mind has privately been leaning towards already

RoyalBoutique:
Haters be like... "



"

...did anyone ask you to click on the topic?

Or didn't you see "olajumoke" in the topic before clicking?

Bïtçhés be beefing themselves since the days of Cleopatra.

@olajumoke, you keep going girl, if no one talks about you, you are a nobody.

If you gat no haters, you are a nobody.

Keep em talking and hating hard, the lord is your bodyguard.

cruzita:
I wish some women will take care of their body after childbirth like she did.see how sweet she looks

Blanc8:
Buy her a car then Slap her ag
ain... Nothing dey happen

Seenyo:
Gbam!!!...no matter how pretty & nice a lady is, i can't wife her if she ain't submissive! A cute n submisive chic is my weakness anyday.