₦airaland Forum

Bobbin2009:
The lies you feminine tell yourself. Keep it up

U be puma....first u assume assume im a woma. second u cant see clear sarcasm ...

Meektunz:
Been married for over 5years now and eversimce my wife have birth to my first child, I've been suspecting that it's not my child die to no sense of resemblance and I finally did a DNA test but unfortunately the result shows that I'm not the father of my first child. No doubt my wife loves me so much and honestly she has done a d sacrificed alot for me. My conscience never allowed me to end the marriage because honestly she is a good wife one could ever ask for though she has her bad sides. Since the result came out i never told her or confronted her because I'm very very certain that once i confront her the marriage will end cos alot will happen but everyday once i see the boy and remember i get so angry but after some time when we are all playing as a family i will forget. I still do everything a father could do for his son. Honestly it's not easy to forget about everything. What do you advise me to do guys?

Bros enjoy your marriage bros....

thats the price u pay for not looking out for redflags that your wife to be was sleeping with another man till the point of marriage or even after marriage

. lets hope no one will come and claim "your child".... because sometimes these paternity fraud cases are deliberately and wickedly done by the woman, who pushes the pregnancy on the man available and capable after the person who got her preganant said he's not ready, doesnt have money, or rejected her.....

It can be a souce of constant ache in the heart..but time they say can heal all wounds...

Keeping multiple sex patners even to the time of marriage...this generation and lack of sexual discipline na 5&6...
The next phrase from them now will be "paternity fraud does not mean she wont be a good wife"

Samantha123:
Oh! I see.

Are u Caucasian or just a light black person

Samantha123:
I'm sure a good number of your women are gifted, are you telling me that those Instagram pictures are fake?

Of course large nehimd is an african thing....still there are plenty fakes among them on instagram.... they wear fake bums, waist trainers, hour glass shapers, and also edit....

Samantha123:
It's not really a big deal here.

Of course....if majority have it....it wont be special....but it will be special to nigerians or foreigners who ddnt grow up there

Samantha123:
Majority of them do have it, while some don't.

Majority!!!!!!!!!!??
Interesting information

Samantha123:
I'm sure the only thing he loves is the behind.

Is the behind thing for real about south africans or it just an exaggeration

begoniaa:
I said nothing of such.

My only grouse with your comment is you saying she wouldn't be a team player because she wants a man to provide for her. But that fact does not say that she's going to be a useless wife/gf in the marriage.

There are other ways that people can contribute in/to a marriage/relationship that goes beyond sharing (bills) 50/50.

I don't know how else I want to simplify this point for you before you understand it, and that it has nothing to do with all else you're going on about.



There were definitely some phrases and personal attacks you threw at me in your previous responses, but as I said, I don't care about that at this point anymore.

Really, binu ko bi ibeji, because if you were not, how did my simple harmless comment turn to you making it about me? And you've been doing so ever since.

Abeg, *yawns*.

Jeez! I threw attacks at you?? HOW?? If thats how u feel...i apologize...i ddnt throw attcks at you...not intentionally anyway

That said, so still have a grouse with my comment even after i explained why i feel a person wont be a good team player from.the angle of both being a man and woman..??
U see why i said dialogue with you is hard??
Btw...whats the point of repeating this same phrase "binu ko bi ibeji".....i dont get it..

aronski:
U all forgot to say the SA girls recording and watching her dance are so beautiful...

I want to marry a woman from SA...
<3 I love em all

Samantha123 you are needed here

begoniaa:
Again, advanceDNA, I will reiterate my point again: why are you against her being against 50/50 (money)? What if she has other traditional and complimentary benefits she'll bring to a providing man? What if she's bringing other things other than money? Have you looked at it from that angle.

What if she'll stay home to raise the kids (if they have any) and instill good values in them? Or what if she'll always make sure that food will be available and ready for the man when he comes back from work so he wouldn't have to stress himself no more? Have you looked at it from that angle?

But no, you already concluded that she's not going to be a "team player." As if say na for finances alone person dey team-play.

And, to ba wun e this time around, binu ko bi ibeji; I will come and eat party jollot rice.

We have passed this already...I am not against anybody....I only pointed out what being part of a team means to me...if her choice doesnt fit into my idea of team playing...it doesn't mean i am dragging her. i explained to you... it shoulsnt be an issue having a different opinion. Are u saying i cant comment any more because i see things differently??

Look..Money is hardest and most important thing in relationships..if theres no money at all a relationship cant survive.....Doing chores, having sex, are things we do by nature's gifts.
.
There will be no chores to do in the first place, if there's no money..... and if there is a truck load of money...there will be no chores for both man and wife because house keepers will do it...

So if i am going to be in a team with someone and they are already saying they will not be a part of the most important thing no matter what ..weda they have the power to or not......it is my personal opinion that they will not be good team players when we get into it.....

See..i am.not seeing this from a man angle alone.. if i am a woman and a man tells me he wont help me at all except financially....its a redflag...because if he's not a billionaire...theres only very little the money he will give me can solve....

u dont have to agree..but as for me ..a good team player shouldnt say "this is the only thing type of things i will do even though i can help with more if needed"

Like i said earlier dialogue with u is hard...u jump into conclusions a lot because how u arrived at "binu bibeji" is mystery to me....what are we dialoguing about that u assumed i am angry??

begoniaa:
And you must definitely have a beef with English.

You gave an opinion on the perspective on the lady in the chats, and I gave my own opinion on your opinion - c'est fini.

...
..u were the one that asked "whats the problem with you said" i was just wondering when i said there was a problem.... u even accused me of dragging the lady ...now u said i dont understand english......Sigh!! Dialogue with you is hard..

begoniaa:
And you must definitely have a beef with English.

You gave an opinion on the perspective on the lady in the chats, and I gave my own opinion on your opinion - c'est fini.

...
..u were the one that asked "whats the problem with you said" i was just wondering when i said there was a problem.... u even accused me of dragging the lady ...now u said i dont understand english......Sigh!! Dialogue with you is hard..

begoniaa:
You're not making your opinion the standard, yet you're dragging her over who she wants to buy flowers and gifts?

I have said she is a traditional woman that expects traditional actions from all indications, and she is likely going to be bringing other traditional benefits that doesn't have to do with money.

What is the problem with what I said biko? If she was forming independence and still wanted the man to provide, I would have had an issue with her. But she's willing to be a submissive woman to a provider man. That is her own idea of a relationship and she is not necessarily wrong.

If a women decides that fvcking is her only team contribution before the marriage starts..thats fine....giving my personal opinion of what being a part of a team(marriage) should be is not dragging....

U have a way of accusing ....when did i say there's a problem with what you said??

begoniaa:
I was not all over the place, I was being holistic and if you fail to see the point I was making, that's on you.

Whatever anything means to you in this matter is not the standard for everyone else.

The babe's a traditional woman that expects the man to lead and be in charge and supply everything on the table.

What makes you think she wouldn't be a complimentary and submissive homemaker to the man?

And I definitely said the most important thing is communication and each couple finding out what works for them. Your idea of a team mentality is not the same for other people out there, and I clearly mentioned how how some get married to people they don't love enough to help.

I agree nothing should be the conventional role of anybody, and ideally, couples should share and help out each other, but alas, that's not always the reality.

I never said my opinion is standard...so why are u stating it as if i said so....??..

that said.

If she will be a team player...she wont be ending relationship over who will buy flowers or gifts ..keeping the relationship alive and sweet is supposed to be seamless btw two people that love each other with minor discussion when more help is needed ...

this one seems like she was looking for a marriage that will end her bill-paying dats...cos i dont see the point of ending a marriage that hasnt even started.... u women know money is hard to find...so the topic of bring to the table always gets u on beast mode

Is obi the only one contesting??..why is sowore, and the remaining contestant not giving u tinubu supporters head ache?

begoniaa:
Lol...this is...

I hope you're not one of the men that talk about how women of nowadays are not like your mothers and modernity is spoiling things, bla bla bla. Because this lady's mentality is just exactly like our mothers.' She's a 'traditional' woman who believes in chivalry and headship and all attending standards, so what's your issue with it? Or unless you're not of them traditional guys sha.

For their relationship, I am sure she is bringing in things expected of her "as a woman" too. The only shortchanging would be if she's not a virgin.

And I am also hoping she has all the childbearing, childrearing, homemaking, emotional and domestic provisions in the bag that she's bringing to the table. Since she wouldn't share 50/50, I don't expect her to still want him to wash and clean, etc., "as a man."

Also, you say a man providing doesn't mean she won't bring anything to the table... I guess you're talking in terms of finances and romantic gestures. There's no where in that chat too the lady says she won't contribute once in a while, she's just saying it's not her role/job "as a woman", all the time.

Whatever will make you want a woman that contributes finances once in a while will also make you share in domestic duties once in a while.

All in all, communication and personal relational preferences takes number one. There's no one-size-fits-all.

As for the mentality you talk about, it is exactly the same way men marry women they don't love enough to share child- and home-care duties with. If you understand this, you'll understand why both sexes get married, but do not want to "help" each other out.

I sincerely dont know the point of your long talk....u were all over the place...

Couples are suppose to have the mentality to help each other out when needed...nothing should be anybody's conventional role so that no one is under pressure..... weda its domestic work or financial...traditional or non-traditional, thats what team mentality means to me..
..whoever can do it should do it...if both of them can do it, they should both do it, including chivalry...

MzErica:
shut up!

Sigh!!!@ This old woman u are here again...i must have struck a nerve for you to follow me about to another thread..... dont make me live rent free in your head....its not good for your mental health

But anyways....i can see u are offended...i would have loved to apologize ...but u dont deserve one...cos u and i know I and some other people exposed u... and thats not a bad thing

She said she wants flowers, to be taken cared of....contributing to the table doesnt mean you man wont still care for you..

Make una dey calm down before ending relationship over things that mean one thing in discussion but different in practicable terms...

lack of team mentality is this woman's problem...some women just want marriage to be a ticket to not paying bills... it can even be when your man is very rich....if he's yet not blown, be ready to help without being told...

how do you women marry someone u love and still have the "i cannot help you" mentality

Vulturereloaded:
But the population of those that directly believe are less than 20%, the rest of the 80% who's lives have become hell, should resist the system.

Yes..u are right that 80% are not happy....but the problem with every voting season is that those that want good for nigeria are always complaining from their homes....

Look at every election from 1993 till date... voters are not even up to half of the true population..for example 2015...just a little over 28 million voted out of 200million people....which even includes ghost voters and fake ballots thumb printed by few party agents

Imagine the thousands still rallying around those two evil parties that have wrecked this nation...?? It should let you know just how much some people dont care

Vulturereloaded:
The current system is unsustainable. What they hope to share is finished.

They are not immune to economic hardship of this administration.

U dont get it.....they dont care....

There is always ways to generate money to steal.... remove subsidy...tax nigerians more from import duties to VAT, PAYE, and even borrow from other nations or the world bank.

There is no money is all they have chanting...yet the cost of running the three arms of goverment have never been reduced.

I say again....they dont care

Ologundudu2020:
We have AA AS then SS options for us, so which of them is a follow come disease? Don’t forget we have people on this forum with same blood, and why narrowing it down to the last option, forgetting our first child can be AA and we done . Lol we should stop been primitive in this part of the world, so I should dump someone with prospects all because I want be having babies.

I never told you to dump anyone....u concluded that your own....two AS marrying each other gives 25% chances of birthing an SS. Sadly, embyonic developemnt and selection of final genetic makeup of progenies is on auto-pilot and largely uncontrolable....

Insulting me that i am primitive for telling you the facts and existing realities based of the statistics of AS couples will change nothing...

its a game of chance....u can go ahead and play it.....

Vulturereloaded:
I want to believe the economic reality have reset the minds of many to do the right thing.

Lol....reset their minds..?? They have the same minds as their leaders...."to profit from a bad system".....they dont care....

Ologundudu2020:
And if I don’t have anyone frm those you mentioned? What does that make you ? Don’t jump just address my concern! She’s all I’ve got to be with rn. I don’t owe you details on that

...u might not be able to give your children billions if you dont become a billionaire, or some other advantage in this unfair world..

The least u could do is not deliberately increase the chances of giving them a blood with a follow come disease they will be managing for the rest if their lives....

Oblongata:
Not all mechanics can successfully change the gasket of a vehicle excellently.

That car will never remain the same again…

I dont get you....so the solution is to sell the car just because some mechanics cant change top gasket......ordinary top gasket that you wont enter inside engine...okay be like u be the op's friend

Ordinary overheating??.. its a small matter naaa..the usual thing is to change the gasket....

U sound like u have too much money..make we call EFCC??

Ur friend want to rip you off...

emorse:
Do you get this angry when she does?

Ofcourse naaaa...but its not a big deal....women inflate price of everything....

Beverlyjean:
I hope ubare not married ...cos it will most certainly crash ..how can u say its her money?? Since when did marriage turn to this ??

U are the one that your marriage will crash cos u dont know women....the earlier u realize your womans money is her money and your money is for both of you...thats the moment you have peace...

when a man is footing all the bills there will be peace..no one outside will know.....but once a woman starts to pay school fees and carry major bills...everyone outside will know because it now bcomes her money

Brunosamel:
Wrong advice bro some women have done worst but their husband still overlooks it. What so difficult of her forgiving the young man.

Wrong advice.??...a woman making too much money cannot live with a man...its just the way it is....their shakara dey too much...

Bridget95:
Your babe does it to you and you call her your babe?

When u buy text book and handout wey no exist ...are they not still your your parents...

My point is it no big deal to end marriage over... its just money...but u women count it as as a big deal because you money is for you alone but your huband money is for both of you.... una too selfish