₦airaland Forum

Havilaah1:
Good day all, i want to pour my heart on what's bothering me and get people's view and possible solutions to the issue.

I've been in a relationship with my boo for a couple of years now and it's a serious relationship, we're are very close.. infact we're practically besties aside relationship. For some months now i noticed he no longer gives me attention like he used to, the vibe between us dropped and it was getting me angry. He stopped doing the things he knows i like, he knows my love language is attention/care as well as complement but he stopped doing all these. I'd send him a photo where i look so beautiful and he'd only say you look good, at a point i started preparing my mind for the worse.

Just yesterday he told me there's something he wants us to talk to me about and it's been bothering him and i asked him what it was, he said it's about us. He said 2 of his siblings asked him same question on different occasions but, he didn't see it as a big deal the first time but when it was asked the second time he got angry and that's the reason he hasn't been flowing well with me.

The question was how can you get married to someone who is not close to your siblings, when he said this i was weak. I know when we started the relationship he told me his siblings are free people i can relate with, i told him i will try. I was in contact with 2 of his sisters before this year( i sometimes chat, text or call during birthdays, new month and festivities).

This year i started chatting with the 3rd sister, her wedding was coming up and she sent me IV. I congratulated her and she asked if i will be around, i told her i will try and create time so i can travel down to attend. I really did travel down to attend the wedding, she was surprised when she saw me but i noticed my boo wasn't happy with me all through the event.
Now he's saying he's in close communication with my mum and siblings, they talk all the time but same can not be said about me. He was thinking how can he get married and his siblings will refuse coming to his house because there's no relationship between us.

I'm a very introverted person while himself and his siblings on the other hand are extroverts and ambiverts, i don't find it easy building up ties with people from a distance. I have very few friends, i can be in a place and i won't talk if I'm not used to the people or there's no serious thing to talk about (that's the reason i talk to his siblings during birthdays, new month or festivities). I don't know how to build up a strong relationship with them before marriage, it's even worse because we don't get to see often cos they're in a different state but I've visited them on a few occasions.
How do i handle this issue. I was in deep thought all through the night, i couldn't get up to 4 hours sleep.


God knows i love his family as much as i do mine, he himself said he knows i care about them 100% but his family cannot read my mind to see that i have them in mind. After our discussion last night i couldn't sleep, I've been feeling bad about the whole thing. Introversion is making me look like I'm not a good person.

I really don't know how to go about this, please i need advice from people who have been in similar situation.
Moderator please help move to front page to get a wider view.
Roctation
farano
Please help move to front page for wider view.

This is what is called compromise in relationships...
He’s afraid you will be the “me and husband alone type of wife” men like that look at future scenarios... what if his mother or one of his siblings end up living with you.... it may be a problem for you becos you don’t know how to get along.....

Some people are naturals when it comes to fraternizing...but it’s learnable for introverts..
Just consciously create time, like a reminder on your phone to call and text...

mothers like sending what’sapp stories and prayers up and down.. do it once a week... it’s no big deal....

Don’t you call your own folks..??
Don’t you relate with them??
If you can’t crate reminders on your phone, simply do same to his own family when you call yours....

You are in another state...no one expect you will leave your job and go to their house and sit down to play...relating with them physically will be when once in a while when there is a party or other social engagement.... the bulk of what he’s asking from you is remote/via calls or text

That’s not hard if you want to..

Oh no....
At that age...them don dey carry am go hotel...

NnamdiN:
You're the weak one and she wants you to breakup with her.
Do it fast for your sanity. She gone bro

Simps never have the courage to initiate break up...

timibare:
Jihad studies

You can say that again..

vinceyinnovation:
Can Any full grown Atheist explain the science behind money ritual or ritual

Is it just foolishness or there is something behind it?

If just foolishness why have they not realize this generations before now to stop it?

Why is rituals as old as mankind itself? Even advancement in technology and science has not stop it? (Mind you human ritual is not just an african thing).

Traditionalist and scientist/atheist on this platform over to you...

Please you are free to attack the message or the messenger if that is what makes you happy?

Money ritual works with the same principle of giving to receive...giving is investing into the universe, the universe knows how it arranges it to pay you back..

Rituals is sowing to the dark forces around the the universe....

but you are an atheist so you don’t believe in forces around us

Prettyangelng:
Sex was not supposed to be rough. It was designed to be soft and slow. But whorish tendencies and infidelity intentions have invented roughness and manhandling of the woman's body.

Any man that makes love to you roughly and touches you without respect is a cheat about to happen. All this harder and faster that girl scream is because they are promiscuous in nature already.

Enjoy your own softly with respect that you are looking for...
Let those that want it rough harder and faster enjoy it that way...

Besides, who made u the standard of sex that it has to be slow... you have assumed girls who who like fast and rough are promiscuous.....

And if it was man that put a promiscuous tag on you women by assuming what is not, u would have started crying hatred and attack on your gender....

But na you dey slut shame your own gender becos they like sex in a way different you...


By the way... the man you were with yesterday rough handle you.... is it’s early on Monday to thinking about sex

Iamkewe:
Evening Everyone. I finished with a good BSc grade in 2015 in Microbiology. Due to challenges of securing a job I ended up working in a bank since 2017 and resigned in 2020 becauseI was clearly not happy. Now I have funds to further my studies. I applied for an MSC in Biotechechnology relating to my first degree. I went for a UK university open day and the lady outright told me I will be denied a UK visa because I have study gap and my work experience doesn't relate to my masters course. I choose not to be discouraged. I don't know if anyone has been in my situation and gotten a visa approval. Thank you

I know someone that graduated 2011, got admission and visa for this year’s September entry...don’t let any one kill your dream Abeg...

However if you want to follow the person’s advice...An MBA/ Msc management, or other management course might be ideal with your banking experience.....

But still, I still think 2015 is not that far to pursue a postgrad in biotechnology .....if you can convince the interviewer at the embassy, you shouldn’t have a problem....
with super priority visa... u might even circumvent the interview.

Dtruthspeaker:
You already know that divorce ONLY FOLLOWS A VALID MARRIAGE.

If no marriage then there can be no divorce.

Therefore, the validity of the marriage is pari-material.

And the only valid marriage in issue in Respect of The Pronouncement of Christ was in reference to monogamy "male and female" and not "males and females nor males and female nor male and females. (Polygamy)0

Oga...

Don’t assume or imply what Jesus did not say.
Don’t add to it...

Jesus addressed the issue of divorce when he mentioned male and female in Mathew

You do realize that male and female scripture was a quote from genesis...

And that genesis verse talked about the creation of humans in male and female

because God ddnt make only Adam and Eve...
If he did...where did all the other people in the world come from...?? Who did Cain marry after Abel died...

Dtruthspeaker:
You expressly said


Whereas polygamy is about "male and females" or "males and female" or "males and females".

U imply what people did not say...

My statement was in response to someone claiming God created male and female automatically means monogamy....

Jesus wasn’t addressing the topic of divorce.. it’s that simple

Dtruthspeaker:
You are the one who wants to include what was not there.

If you watch Christ's attitude, you would see that he really did not want to Judge the matter as He Said, "He did not Come to Judge" then. That should tell you that He Comes to judge, wahala go plenty.

So what did Christ do?

What He had Always done, which is to SIMPLY LAY THE LAW OF WHAT DO THE COMMANDMENTS SAY?

As I say, it is better to comply with The Law than to defend yourself against it.

Okay..tell me what extra meaning I added..
Since you are good at implying what Jesus ddnt say

Dtruthspeaker:
Polygamy is "male and females" or "males and female" or "males and females".

Not, male and female which is undisputable monogamy.

U quote out of context.... like I said... I’m not justify polygamy.... I’m just telling your context is wrong....

Jesus use that verse to respond and answer the pharasee’s question on divorce.....there is divorce is polygamy and monogamy as well

..u don’t have to add extra meaning to what Jesus said....

Youngpo413:
All these won't happen if ladies have learnt to close their legs till their wedding night.

U are using double standard...u want to blame the woman for a woman’s irresponsibility...
The woman won’t fvck herself naaa...
Once both party can be responsible ... we would have a sane society

Kayberg:
“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,”
— Matthew 19:4 (KJV)

JESUS CHRIST was clear enough there.

This verse you quoted says nothing about the topic..both polygamy and monogamy is a union of male and female only.... So what’s your point??

.don’t get me wrong, I’m not in support of polygamy... but if you are going to use scriptures to drive home a point... do it well..

All we Christians of nowadays ask is

if you can fvck plenty women legally...
If you don’t have to give tithe or offering
If Jesus mentioned sex before marriage
Jesus did not mention smoking naaa
Jesus did not mention drinking alcohol is a sin
Jesus did not condemn homosexuality

Everything we are concerned about is how to gratify the desires of the flesh....

I’ve never seen questions like : how many souls do I have to win.? Or how can I fast effectively, how can I worship in truth and spirit...

God dey see all of us ooo..make we continue these wickedness

See your life....stop doing community pen!s u did not listen..... see now..na your left over your brother wan marry....

Na so some guys dey marry girls wey their randy father don sleep with...

Mrnakeina:
I don't understand why people rush to list what they've done for people they claim to love or care about.

What you do for your partner is no debt and until you all are legally married, choices should be respected.

Don’t deceive yourself with all this woke ideologies.... humans will always be creatures with emotions... ..once emotions is involved, you will feel used once betrayal come into the picture...
It’s not just about money...Time, our bodies, makes people fee used...

Giving to one’s partner in a relationship isn’t the same with giving to poor people on the streets...

a ring and a certificate isn’t what makes a relationship real or serious...

judedwriter:
To lose two wives in one's lifetime is not a coincidence... Something is really fishy.

Could be a curse, a retribution, a jinx, etc.

I don't suppose he will remarry again. His first wife was really a diamond, I don't know much about nomthi, but bimbo odukoya was a very special woman and irreplaceable.

Did the wife just fall down and die....
The first wife died in a plane crash with plenty others...
This one has generational illness, cancer... and you guys want make it the man’s fault.....

Abeg the poor guy don suffer enough
Make una no add salt to the guy injury

NorthSerious:
True. Much cheaper to just sleep with them in their younger years, enjoy them when they are at their best and toss them out to Chidi the spare parts dealer to wife them up.

You are just naturally wicked

Mchawi:
This is not true. This list can be from any tribe in the south south or south east. Show the main page with the name of the family let's see

No need to defend or deny...
It’s tradition...
Who no get power, make e no near marriage with Igbo girls... simple...

We are ready to suck the groom dry..

temitope27:
Knife 4 #20k

No be only one knife ooo...


The knife go reach like 500 pieces.. the bride go use am till her and the husband grow old

temitope27:
ofcourse I am, try to understand me baby girl and don't be dumb

Wait Tope, you and amotolongbo don start this fight for somewhere before??

Becos the way the matter escalate from zero to 100°c fast gaaaaan... i fear oooo

pocohantas:
Annie should include Pero in her Instagram apology o. You can’t drag her finish, you and 2face will na use her to settle.

Ehnehn! Kolewerk.

You have to finish this virtuousness.

U go like fight...!!
Someone cannot even call you name play play.

UndauntedYOCA:
I actually did, I've been a fan of hers since 2006/2007. She has her issues but like you said, the family went overboard.
Also, we aren't in their homes or know them personally so it might be difficult to know what goes on within the family other than what we're shown.
You also have a point. Lol at the *money-miss road*.

Have a great weekend ahead.

And you too madam

AntiChristian:
I agree we all have limited knowledge.
But i don't believe God has sons or that Angels have John Thomases to have sex and impregnate women!

What you and I choose to believe is totally our decision....u have a right to believe or reject whatever you want..

Some people don’t even believe there’s God or angels..... so what’s your point??

If this thread is just to mock the Christians .. u need to look in the mirror and realize your hypocrisy....

U are mocking those that believe a God that is able to do all things said he has son which is also his word....but you believe you will have 72 virgins to sleep with if you kill many infidels and Christians..
U believe it’s fine to marry under age children
U believe it’s okay to kill others in the name of blasphemy...
U believe your religion must rule others
U believe this same Jesus that’s just an ordinary human being is coming back while your prophet is waiting for his judgement....

No wahala....


thank God we are both in the religion boat...if you are an atheist now, I would say you have the upper the hand..

Wait no be this same marriage wey the woman fit leave am at anytime.....

This move should be declared legally impossible ....no one should be allowed to legally sign of all their possessions to third party.......it puts the person at risk...



I fear who no fear women

Only serial killers take choloroquin and flagyll without fist putting water in the mouth....

Those two drugs are fvcking bitter

babyboo4life:
from the first day of coming over to resume school? for someone that doesn't know anyone in the school at all?

Wait?? U think she doesn’t know any one...??
Don’t be naïve.... did she just sit at home and the admission came to meet her in the room.

She went for jamb....
Post jamb...
May have even gone to check her name...
She met people...many people.. fine young boys, and many olosho girl friends that don’t need a man policing their life off campus

Trust me, she has friends already and enough toasters too..

babyboo4life:
They're dating. He helped her to gain admission into federal Uni, lend her some money for few school payments. Supported her throughout the period of mourning her deceased dad both with attention and money. From the first day she entered school, her attitude towards him changed; slow response to phone calls,sms and chatting.Her reason been that she has not settled. That they'll continue their usual way. Abeg o who can relate, this one pass me.

University is another world entirely....
No one goes in there and remains the same.
The environment is too Enticing for it not to influence any young person....

It’s a bad move to invest in any woman with the intention of marrying her...it doesn’t ever turn out well....


tell your brother to abort mission now if he doesn’t want to have high blood pressure ...other wise she will just use him for school fees and upkeep while another small student will be smashing for free..

AntiChristian:
So what is the make up of the sons of God that came from heaven?

Jesus too was acclaimed to be a son of God.

Nigga... we are humans limited in knowledge
U and I can’t explain everything.....

U have fallacy/ignorance mixed mixed with facts....

U have no information about the make-up of the sons of God....you have no exact information about how the sons of God existed on this earth...u have no full knowledge of their capabilities and limitations??

U automatically assume one is a type of alien and therefore should have a completely different make up from the other.....

Finally... u want to use science to explain religion or divinity......science can’t even explain some of the things it has evidence around us....


there might be some agreement between religion and science....but science and religion don’t agree at some point..

Annabelle12344:
Yes. I was supposed to cut him off from the beginning if he's intention was defined. But he came in as a friend. Like a big bro Who is already married and happy. Who only wanted to guide and help me secure a job and a good life.

Women..u are always funny....You like to eat your cake and have it..
You will say ...shebi i told him i wasnt interested??
Shebi i told him i cant sleep with a married man..??


So you mean all this while, this man knows you have a boyfrined...
you pick your boyfriend's calls in front of him..say i love you to your boyfriend in from of this man..
do you tell him on some occassion he wants to see you that you have plans to go and fvck your boyfriend??
has he ever called you and you told him you are busy cooking for your boyfrined??
i doubt all of these

you stylishly led him on...you string him along, because the relationship was convinient for you..
You are now here trying to paint a non-guilty picture...

How re u bestie friends with a married man,
cooking for him,
coming to your house,
going to his house
your parents even know him,
you collect money from him
you go like make your own husband get that kind female friend ??

Niggaa ...pleeeeeeseeeeeeee
you women think you are wise.....[/b]

almarthins:
May God not give us child/children that we will bury with our own hands. The mama first and the papa na him I go say na blessing to am because Britney too blind to understand. Fame and money don clog those eyes. As me o! The parent did the right thing o! If na Africa wey hunger dey rife in the family, I for say na scam. But I no hear for news that d papa n mama go buy Lamborghini with her money. Trust my African pple Dem for don empty the account by now.
Where Aliyah today? Who dey spend her money ?

i understand shaa...its a necessary evil