jeromestarks:
There is this girl from a humble backgound that I have been chasing for some time now. I have spent on her but still she said nothing. Whenever we meet, she will just look at me and smile. I can see that she likes me from the fire in her eyes.

After months of chasing, I called her one day and she picked the call only to say
" I'm busy right now please"
And she dropped the call.

I was infuriated. Like " na me dis girl jons like dis?"

So a week later I called her and said
" You know it's been long that I have been trying to tell you how much I love you but it seems like I am disturbing you right?"

She paused for sometime as if she didn't hear what I said so I repeat the same statement with a calm voice. Then she replied
" Uhmm, sort of"
Then I said
" so , I'm just gonna let you be and wish you all the best. Take care dear and Goodbye."

She didn't say anything and we ended the call.

After four months, this girl flashed me on the same date that I last called her.
I called back and we spoke as if nothing happened. She told me about her coming birthday and I promised to send her a gift (I really love this girl). Somehow, I didn't send anything and the birthday passed.

Three months later, I called her and said
Hey, how you doing? I was thinking of you recently so I kept something for you. Come over and collect it" she said she will send someone but I insisted she come herself.

Next day, She was going to school so she branched my house early in the morning but I couldn't stand up to see her so I sent someone to give her the money I kept for her.

She collected the money and left.

I was expecting a "thank you" or SMS but I got nothing.

Later that day, around 8pm, I called her severally but She bounced the calls.
As a regular guy na, I stopped calling and let it slide.

Two days later, she flashed me.
I called back and I discovered that she has blocked my line.

What do you think is the reason behind her action?
(You can insult me. It's not like I can stop you anyway).

The reason behind her behavior is that she's not really into you. So you should just stop chasing after her and forget about her. There will always be other girls.

Izaya3:
How do you breakup with someone you've lost interest in, you don't love the person anymore

how do you tell them without hurting them.

There's really no possible way to break up with someone without hurting them. No matter how nice you try to be about it, they will still feel rejected.
Best way is to just tell them bluntly but respectfully (in person though not by text) that you're no longer interested because you're not in love with them any longer. Then block their number to prevent them from calling and also block them on social media.

Blessedmercy8:
I won't stop louding it until our girls turn away from their immoral ways.

Hear this elder complaining bitterly.

What you fail to correct now will come back to haunt you. Please let's speak against all this rottenness and put a stop to it any ways we can.

https://fb.watch/gPGCtzkrk4/

This is utterly repulsive.

Abba114:
u are always a fan of promiscuous lifestyle pls fear god for once in your life

An adult deciding to leave home and live her life on her own terms is not in any way a "promiscuous lifestyle".

cadet222:
So guys what do you think is worse than heartbreak?

Plenty of things of course. Poverty, being kidnapped, being robbed, being murdered, being used for rituals, a loved one dying to name a few.

Mekanus:
The same way I avoid over religious women. If not that it's hard to find a non religious girl in naija, I shouldn't have anything to do with religious women.

I'm a non religious girl. Always been always will be no matter what anyone says to me about it.

Karen2024:
It's my choice..I want to live in a free world in a free relationship with a free man. I hate being bent to superstitious laws. Religious men are the worst people you would ever meet. They intimidate, torment, toture, beat and control you all in the name of religion. I better not date than date a religious man. Monks are the best.

Smart choice. That's the same with me too since I'm more of a free thinker.

Prettygirl200:
What are you saying? Are you telling me that every single mother was left like that bc they have one fault or the other? Most men out there are irresponsible, I have friends that their boyfriend's got them pregnant and refused to take responsibilities of the babies, they left them to suffer for the kids alone and the whole thing is not funny. These girls are good girls they are homely and all. So pls don't say that, whatever you are doing to any woman out there always put your sister's in their shoes if it's good for other guys to do same to your sister's then you can go ahead and do what you are planning to do to that young lady.

Yes this is the same thing that happened to one of my cousins this year. She's 19 and got pregnant for her boyfriend but he broke up with her when she was about 3 months pregnant. He moved away to another state and she hasn't seen or heard from him since then. She now has a 2 month old son who she's struggling to care for alone with very little money and help from her parents.

malvisguy212:
it's may seem like you are right. but base on parenting, you are wrong. if a man is not legally married to a lady, he has no right to house someone daughter. or you'll allow your adult daughter to live with a man who did not pay her bride price ? sorry mam. what you wrote up there is what we call BEAUTIFUL NONSENSE!!!

If I were to one day become a parent (highly unlikely though) once my child is 18 I will not be bothered about what they do, especially in their personal life. I will respect every choice they make in this area of their life, even if I don't agree with it. If they want to live with a man without being married that's their choice. As long as their choices harm nobody then I won't interfere in their lives.

Abba114:
shame on you aisha you had a poor upbringing. pls can we meet i need to talk to u because i see that u need help.

You have no right to say I had a poor upbringing. You don't know anything about me or who I am so you don't have any right to make such conclusion. Just because someone's opinions or beliefs about something is different from yours doesn't mean you should criticize them like that.

Nelbless:
Good morning house,

I write this with a cloud of confusion over my head.

I have a kid sister, our last born who stays with my parents, she is well taken care of in every possible way, but appear to be the black sheep of the house, as she is extremely sturbbon and rebellious, need i say she is the last born of the family, which places her in the state of not wanting or lacking anything at all.



Anyways I will try my best in making this as brief as I can, my sister is notorious for being too trusty, emotional, a social media maniac ......I mean on several occasions she had been saved from ill fate of being kidnapped by ritualists, these episodes cants be shared here cos they are numerous, we as her family realizing these trend about her, placed a restriction on her movement, which implies she is not allowed seeing anyone we do not know or her making friends or visiting them without our knowing who they are.

Just on Saturday which is two days ago, she told us her girl friend ,(someone about 7 years older than she is, a single mother) is siçk, she seek visiting her, we okayed that, only to find out she had played us in other to visit someone she had met on Facebook far far away, she did came back same Saturday very late though.

Before then my mom had confronted the supposed sick lady only to find out all was a ....

Upon her return she was scolded......only for her to pick few of her stuffs and run away on Sunday, then we discovered , that somehow her girl friend to give us the phone number of the boy she had visited, she tipped us into believing she must have encouraged her to run away or maybe away of the stranger my sister might have ran to.

WE INTEND PICKING THE GIRL THIS MORNING WITH POLICE FOR QUESTIONING, BUT SOME OF MY SIBLINGS ARE INSISTING WE ALLOW MY SISTER BE AS SHE HAVE BEEN SCREAMING FOR FREEDOM FOR LONG, INSISTING SHE WILL RUN AWAY SOMEDAY.

AM CONFUSED PLEASE, COS THIS IS ON THE VERGE OF BEING A DENT ON MY FAMILY

If she's 24 then she has every right to run away if she wants to. At her age it's not even called running away it's called "flying the nest" or leaving home to become independent. There's no need to involve the police. She's an adult she can go wherever she wants whenever she wants. She's not running away because only teenagers run away, not adults, she's simply exercising her right to freedom of movement. I can't imagine a 24 year old has to lying in order to be allowed to go out and then being scolded upon coming back. Just let her go. She's more than old enough to move out and live her own life anyway.

ExAngel007:
A man has taken to Twitter to narrate how he made his unfaithful girlfriend lose her job.

The Twitter user identified as Adedolapoadey13 said he tricked her into resigning from her job after discovering her cheating escapades.

He lied that he wanted to open a spa for her, and as soon as she resigned, he sent her a breakup text message with evidence of her cheating acts.


He Wrote:

“When my ex started cheating, I did not let her know I knew, but I was planning my revenge carefully. Told her to resign her job that I will open a spa for her (she has always hated her job). Then when she resigned and told me, I sent her my evidence with a break up text.

“I didn’t feel better actually, but I was happy to see she became sadder than I was. She is still looking for job, I have another lover now.”

See Tweet Below:

https://www.tori.ng/news/219418/man-makes-girlfriend-lose-her-job-as-payback-for-c.html

While what the girlfriend did is not right, the man's revenge action is just plain nasty and quite immature. In my opinion, when a relationship ends for whatever reason it's best for both people to just move on. No need for any revenge plots. Even if your partner cheated on you just be the bigger person and don't try to get back at them.

Invasion of privacy

Messi1:
I broke up with this lady two years ago and forgot about her.. Since then she has never crossed my mind as anything important.

Last two weeks i saw a message popped up my WhatsApp from a new number, i replied and we started chatting. She has sent me "I miss you" and "I still love you" several times.

This girl said she wants us to get back together and her pushing me to get back to her is frustrating me.

How do I avoid this lady without hurting her?

Just simply tell her you're not interested in getting back together. Then block her number on Whatsapp and any other social media that you're on so she can't contact you anymore.

zedegit:
Some people don't believe in dating. They believe you should just put the ring to it if you want them. I have met one of such girls. She's actually a wife material; 100 yards.

Remember some people broke up after dating for 7 Years and you can't fully know a woman even if you date her all your life, she fit still shock you.


What is your preference? Date or outright marriage?

My preference is to just date someone first then if we're really in love, we can remain partners as in just live together but not get married. I don't like marriage much because I don't think I want to be committed to someone in that kind of way even if I really love the person.

Finnbaloroficia:
Last month my girlfriend came visiting. She stayed for 1week. During her stay I broke her virginity. We had a lot of sex. Note that I'm very good when it comes to pre-intimacy.

So after her stay, this week we chat I discovered that she didn't enjoy the sex. It was more of pain than pleasure. Please house I want t know if it's the normal thing, because I wasn't happy that she didn't enjoy it.

Was it the normal thing. Is she going to start enjoying it very soon. I'm afraid because I had that some girls do not like sex, they don't enjoy it.

Please experienced people some help me.

You said she was a virgin so that's probably why she didn't enjoy it that much. Just give her some time. If she said it hurt then maybe try using some lube (water based though) next time.

Interesting15:
As a young person, wisdom demands that you give yourself to God and serve Him from the days of your youth. As you do this, through a relationship with Jesus Christ, you will be committed to pleasing Him in all ways, including with your body. Doing so, you will save yourself from a lot of damages attached to sexual immorality, and you won't have allow the devil get you ruined.

The truth is that sexual immorality (particularly premarital sex, porn and masturbation) has turned many young and brilliant people into a nuisance without purpose and focus in life again. Many are now public dogs, STDs carriers, drugs and alcohol addicts, single and premature parents, and the evil devil has brought all form of ugliness into their lives.

Our society will continue to be an unpleasant one if we keep going contrary to the will of God and embracing immorality. Immorality (like other types of sin) empowers the kingdom of darkness to wreck havoc in our society. So, if people failed to go back to God in repentance, then you can expect more headaches in the society

The Will of God for sex is that all forms of sexual pleasures should be shared only between a married husband and his female wife inside the safe confines of their marriage institution, with no other party involved. If you will obey God's loving commandments as regards sexual pleasures (which is actually for your own safety and good), then you must have nothing to do with these sexual acts:

1. Premarital Sex: Fornication is having sex when you are not married. Sex is actually meant for married couples (a male and a female) alone. Even if fornication is the norms out there, don't follow the crowd. Be unique and pure. Yes, it is possible to tame your sexual urges. Don't indulge in premarital sex, and you won't have to experience the negativities attached to it (unwanted pregnancy, STDs, and so on). You can also see more tips on sundayakanni.com

2. Extramarital Sex: Adultery is simply about having sex with someone other than your own spouse. As a married person, ensure you are contented with your husband or wife, and don't have an extramarital affair. The repercussions of adultery are usually deadly. Believe me, the few-minute pleasure derived from illicit sex is not worth the coming pain.

3. Homosexuality: This is sexual relations between members of same gender, like lesbianism (which is between females) and gayism (which is between males). Such things are dirty and an abomination that should be hated. If you are doing this, call upon the Name of the LORD Jesus for deliverance, and He will surely save you.

4. Pornography: God made sex to be an honorable act. It should be a private thing between a husband and his female wife. It is sinful to derive sexual pleasure from seeing the unclothedness of others. It is also sinful to video your sexual encounters and share them with others. Repent this year hence you will regret it!

5. Masturbation: You must not play with your sexual organs for sexual pleasures. You are going against God; and masturbation will only damage your body, soul and spirit.

6. Other Immoral Sexual Acts like smooching someone not your married spouse, sextings and the rest of them

Repent from immoral sexual activities.Live your life honouring God in holiness and purity. You are meant to have an eternal communion with God your Creator through Jesus Christ, as this is what will empower you to have dominion over creation. This is your destiny. Accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, and walk with Him in spirit and in truth.

Receive the strength to live your life for God, in JESUS NAME.

https://www.sundayakanni.com/2022/11/types-of-sexual-acts-young-people.html

To be honest the only items listed here that are actually wrong to me are extramarital sex and homosexuality. As for the rest, I don't see anything wrong with them. As long as sex is between consenting (opposite sex) adults and is done safely and responsibly ie using condoms and contraceptives then there's really nothing bad about it. In my opinion, sex should never be seen as something that is bad, dirty or shameful but just as a normal and healthy part of life.

Bloommax:

Wonderful evening to y'all.

I just discovered Nairaland few weeks ago and I've read so many informative things and people's story. Some get advised and some get bashed when they drop their stories here, I hope I wouldn't.

Let me cut to the chase.

I'm 19, I'm a virgin and I'm a 300lvl student. I have a boyfriend that is 15years older than I am and he's sexually active. We met on online. We've known each other for seven months. We both love each other really well, even with the ups and downs that we've had in our relationship. This relationship is a long distance relationship. Now the thing is my boyfriend who is sexually active hasn't had sex for almost a year and lately he's been craving for sex. Sometimes I'll tell him I'm ready to have sex and other times I change my mind because of fear. I've been undecided about having sex. I thought about having sex with him maybe it'll make our bond stronger. He isn't married, he has no kids but he says he wish to marry me as soon as I graduate from the university. To be a virgin in a university isn't easy, there are temptations everywhere. Sometimes I get so tired of being a virgin and just want to have sex but other times I just want to keep it. One of my friends who is also my age had sex in 2019 and she has been sexually active ever since, she told me sex with males aren't really worth it, that if I'm ready I should try having sex with my gender because it's freaky.

I need advice please, should I have sex with this guy and hope that he'll marry me. Or I shouldn't and just be patient. He coming to meet me in two weeks time.

Of course it's perfectly ok to have sex if you want to, after all you're an adult. As long as you're doing it solely because you feel ready, not because your older boyfriend is pressuring you to sleep with him. You said you feel undecided though, so probably you don't feel ready or are feeling a bit pressured. I think you should wait until you feel completely ready to avoid regrets.

If you decide you want to have sex though, make sure you are responsible about it, that is you insist on condom use and go on some form of contraceptive.

DanielAlhassan:
HOW CAN I GET OF MY MIND

WE HAVE BEEN DATING ALMOST A YEAR NOW JUST ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE TOLD ME

THAT SOMEONE CAME TO HER UNCLE REQUESTING TO MARRY HER
AND SINCE THEN THINGS HAVE NOT BEEN THE SAME

YESTERDAY I TALKED TO HER REGARDING THE ISSUE I ASKED HER IF SHE LIKE THE GUY OR SHE JUST WANT TO PLEASE HER UNCLE

SHE TOLD ME THAT HER UNCLE WANT HER TO BE WITH THE GUY AND SHE CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

THE FUNNY PART IS THAT SHE TOLD ME THE GUY IS NICE BUT SHE DON'T LOVE HIM BUT SHE WANTS TO PLEASE HER UNCLE

I ASKED HER WHAT ABOUT ME SHOULD I MOVE ON SHE KEEP ON TELLING ME THAT SHE LOVE ME AND SHE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

AM TIRED I WANT TO MOVE ON BUT SOMETIMES I JUST FEEL LIKE TALKING TO HER
THO I HAVE BEEN AVOIDING HER FOR A WHILE NOW I WANT TO TAKE HER OFF MY MIND

WHAT CAN I DO PLEASE

Just break up with her before she breaks up with you. Then try your best to move on and forget about her. It's not easy to forget about someone you love but you can do it. Remember that there are many fish in the sea.

360degreess:
.. You don't want to marry and you don't want to have children? Seriously I pity your life.So you want to leave an immoral life all through your life by just cohabiting with a man?.So think God doesn't know what He is doing when he says human beings should get married and have legitimate children?..By the time you get old and all your mates are having children who will take care of them and you are left alone with no one to take care of you thats when you will realize that you have been f**lish all through your life, but by then it will be too late for you because menopause has finished you completey..

So think God doesn't know what He is doing when he says human beings should get married and have legitimate children?

While you have a right to your opinion, if you'd read my signature you wouldn't write this part.

JASONjnr:
Omo, How will a woman decides not to have kids but wants a husband?

You are an atheist and a feminist....Your problem plenty pass you.

I doubt if any male atheist will want to settle with you.....

And you're in the core North.....My first time of hearing an atheist in the North....


Please tell me.. Do you go about arguing with those abokis that Allah does not exist? I want to know biko...

Because you atheist are very calm in the south, talking trash about God and Jesus Christ but up North, them no born Una well to go there and practice your atheist.....Na steady frying them go the fry Una.....

No I never talk about my lack of belief except if someone directly asks me about my religion. I also don't argue with anyone about whether or not God exists because I believe everyone has a right to their own beliefs. I don't put down anyone's beliefs as long as they also respect my beliefs (or lack of).

Is it bad that I don't want to get married since I don't want children but I just want to live with a man as a long term partner?

Abba114:
it does stop trying to validate your promiscuos life style. once a hoe u will always be a hoe

Not being a virgin does not make a woman a hoe. You and all those other guys out there who think like this need to get that idea out of your heads because it isn't the truth.

Please someone on this Non Christian chat box give me some tips on how I can tell people (my friends and family) about my decision to be an atheist. How do I do this and ignore (or not care about) any negative opinions or reactions people have?

chuksdev:
I have been dating my girlfriend for a year

We hardly see each other because we are in different state

I asked her to come over to my place since they are on holiday

she promised to come and sleep over and made explicitly clear not s!x

she is claiming to be a vargin

I love her and

Not that I am much interested in the sex but my worry is that

my ex I meet her a virgin and she did the same thing

after 2 years of faithfulness to her she was disvargined by another guy

which hurt me alot. Now this one is following the same route.

she doe not demand money from me. Though I do send her money sometimes out of my own will.

What do I do?

If you want to have sex and she doesn't and this bothers you or is a problem for you, then you should consider ending the relationship. It means you guys are not compatible.

Despite all the negative opinions here, I still maintain my previous opinion.
VIRGINITY DOES NOT DETERMINE THE DIGNITY OR CHARACTER OF WOMEN AND NO WOMAN SHOULD BE JUDGED SIMPLY ON THE BASIS OF HER VIRGINITY STATUS.

Does a man have the right to pressure or force his girlfriend use contraceptives simply because he is afraid of an unwanted pregnancy?

Crucialgem:
So last four month I met a girl that came to deliver eye drug for my boss one thing led to the other we exchanged contact and boom serious relationship started. It got serious that there was hardly a day we don't see each other she is egbira and I had no issue with it. 3 weeks to the relationship I was already proposing marriage to her I went to see her parent and she came to see mine.
I am a faithful Muslim and so she is, so she bought the idea of settling down since we had started having sex and we both agreed it is not proper enough.
We both brought our family together but because of internal family issues on my side( I don't want to bore you with details) My dad didn't allow the small wedding arrangements to take place and he insisted it was so soon that we should take our time so it was suspended till further notice

To cut the long story short, recently before she left for school we had a little misunderstanding but even before our ish I didn't find her fascinating again, there was a time she was robbed she lost her phone and all her money they stole her ATM and withdraw all the money she had for her school resumption. With a little help from me she was able to go back to school

But guys I barely call her again, I lost interest in her and I can't even explain why, she had begged me countless time but yet, I just find it difficult to vibe with her again, I am so confuse right now, one part of me says I should continue the relationship one the long run I would start liking her again another part is saying other wise, if it is just 4month to the relationship and I am already feeling like this what if we start living together

I need your advise guys should I continue or call it off, do you guys think I might later start liking her back, this is a girl I can't do without before I just can't explain why the sudden loose of interest

If you feel like you're no longer interested in the relationship or you're not attracted to her anymore than you should just break up. Because it's not fair on her for you to fake your feelings for her, pretending to still like her when you actually don't. It's easier to just end things than to ghost her by not calling or lead her on.

Legitmenaija:
Hello everyone, my boy has been exhibiting some characters i don't find funny at all especially towards his education. His attitude towards his studies is zero... As in its soooo discouraging and disappointing so much that 3 of his teachers have called to complain bitterly. The major facts are below:

He is 10years old, in J. S. S 2 and wishes to be a pilot in future.

1. He plays wayyy too much in school and at home. Infact everywhere.

2. He is very sluggish in doing things. He does everything slow.... I mean everything you can think of. He can use 2 hours to eat a plate of food. Same food his younger ones will consume in less than 30minutes. Is it to wash few pieces of plates? He does that and everything else sooo slowly.
Its only when i remind him of time or give him like " you have exactly 10 minutes to do this or that) that he speeds up whatever he is doing at that particular time.

He can't keep up with copying notes in class because they clean the board before he is even half way. You need to see his books... Almost empty while his classmates notes are filled up. He is always borrowing notes to copy to the extent that his classmates have stopped giving him because they are tired.

3. He doesn't like to study. Reading his books is like punishment.
I have to talk, talk and talk before he will pick up his books. Even when he does, he won't really be studying.

His grades are extremely poor.

I am scared for him and his future.

I used to remind him that he can't be a pilot by playing away his time when he can devote such time to study.

For those who would be curious to ask about his birth father... Please just assume he is not in the picture and give whatever meaningful advice you may have.

I desperately need a mentor for him. It has nothing to do with me.
I need him to improve and take his education more seriously.

There musn't be physical contact. I am totally cool with phone calls (not to me please or whatever that can work out).

Someone to speak with him, advice him, talk to him about the harsh realities of life and the future and so on

I will throw more light if anyone have questions.

My email is legithustlingbabe@gmail.com


This is a big deal to me... Not a playing matter.
The future of my first child is at stake.

His poor grades and lazy attitude towards studies is probably because he's too young for his class. At 10 he should be in primary 5 or 6 not JS2. Maybe he finds the work too advanced and that's why he can't keep up. Since he's ten in JS2 it means he probably skipped 2 classes so his foundation may be weak. You could try getting him a lesson teacher though if he doesn't already have one.

As for the sluggishness and playfulness I don't think you need to worry too much about it. It's likely just a phase that will pass. He's still maturing so. When I was that age I was so playful that I could hardly sit in one place for up to five minutes. I was very restless in class, constantly talking and causing distractions. My parents were worried too but by the time I was 12, my attitude had changed and I was doing well in school. So don't be too worried it's just immaturity which he'll grow out of.

Just keep talking to him and encouraging him. With time he will change.

Newman001:
I met her through facebook few months ago, we chatted and the rest is history. I wanted something serious with her and i told her severally because i wasnt too comfortable with the numerous calls she receives from guys. One day a friend of mine told me that someone he knows collected her number and my so call girlfriend slept over at the guys place after just two days of knowing the guy, i confronted her she denied initially but later owned up and apologized. I forgave her because i know no one is perfect. Few days ago i put on auto record on her phone and this night she is at my place sleeping so i open the records and there is this particular conversation where she travel to a near by state to see another guy.
Im just confuse right now. I have invested so muvh emotions on this gal and dont know what to do. Despite that she is working and the little time she has,she spent it at my place she stil got time to be meeting and sleeping with random men for money. im thinking of confronting and breaking up with her right now or just codedly place her on the level she deserves and let this slide

You need to dump her asap. It makes no sense to be with someone who you know is sleeping around with other people. She clearly has no respect or feelings for you. She's not your girlfriend but a public property. You shouldn't have even forgiven her the first time. That should have been the end of the relationship.
Better break up with her before she even gives you an STD. I'm a little surprised that you even have to ask this though. It seems like a no-brainer.

FhiBi:
He always want me to cook for him at least once a day and bring it to his office. On Saturday and Sunday,I'll be the one to come to his place and cook dinner for him.
If I default,he'll not eat anything. The thing is that he can cook but he depends on me all the time.

He's being controlling. You should try talking with him about it. Tell him you don't like his attitude and behavior. If nothing changes, break up with him.