₦airaland Forum

Advice her
1) not to lose focus on her studies because of the relationship.
2) if she wants to have sex with him use condoms to prevent disease and contraceptives to prevent unwanted pregnancy.
3) also talk to her about what a healthy relationship looks like.

Tob456:
Hey guys, my ex girlfriend is 7 months pregnant. She doesn't want to have anything to do with me cos I didn't want to carry the responsibility of her four sisters.

She is 24 orphen and the oldest of seven children. She is a fruit seller and the pregnancy wasn't plan she took in 6 months into the relationship but I have accepted the responsibility and I wanted to make her my wife.

First of all I wanted us to discussed about her sisters living arrangements after the wedding and she said she wanted to bring all four who are under 18 to live with us after the wedding and I rejected.

I suggested that the youngest two can live with us while the other two can stay with the aunty but she refused.

She said the relationship was over and she doesn't need me in her life that she will take care of the baby alone.

I've told her even if she doesn't want me in her life anymore she should not stop me from helping her financially because I want our baby to be born in good condition but she refused.

Last week I sent 30k to her account for baby stuffs and she sent the money back to me saying she doesn't need a kobo from me she will take care of the baby alone.

I want to leave her alone but it is hard for me to do so cos she is carrying my child. It will not be easy for me to give up easily I just want to be a part of my daughter life. What do you guys think please?

I think you should just give her some time to think everything through. I'm sure after she has the baby she will come around and realize that she needs your support, at least financially especially since you said she is a fruit seller.
Also as a parent you have the legal right to be in your child's life and she can't deny you that. If she does, I recommend maybe taking the matter to court.
Also I can understand why you don't want her 4 siblings living with you if you get married. That would be quite hard in terms of money. 7 mouths to feed.
Don't worry I'm sure she'll allow you to help raise the child. Maybe her decision now is just because of stress of being pregnant and also hormonal changes.
Congrats on your new arrival though.

Is it even safe to live in Brazil? I thought there are a lot of drug cartels and gangs there? I always see a lot of crime news coming from that country.

This is sad. Two lives wasted just like that.

Please does anyone know the procedure for getting child support or financial support from the father of a child? Is this even possible here?
One of my cousins, who is 19 just recently gave birth but she's not married to the father and he even broke up with her in the early months of her pregnancy. She wants to keep her child (a boy) but isn't financially stable and her parents say they can't really help because she has younger ones who they are still training.
Is there a way she can get her ex boyfriend to be responsible for his son, at least financially?

It is but it's very difficult and requires a lot of discipline and self control.
Personally though I don't see the point of being in a relationship without having sex because sex is a part of love. Though it shouldn't be the center of a relationship of course.

LewisHamilton15:
Helo fellas

I just want to know if staying single the rest of my life is the best decision. I'm well into my 30s and I'm a graduate. I own my business in addition to my Federal Government work. I have a house and two cars and I lack nothing. But i don't have interest in settling down with a woman so i decide to stay single. I have a girlfriend tho, but so far i haven't proposed to her but recently my family members are mounting preasure on me to settle down. I'm hesitant about it. Would getting married be the best option or staying single?

Just follow your heart and do what you feel will make you happiest.

No it's not demonic at all.
But the only thing is the health risks associated with anal sex.ie loss of elasticity of the sphincter muscle in the anus, transfer of bacteria from the anus to the vagina leading to infections, tearing of the anus and rectum. But MouthAction is pretty ok to practice.

Crazychris:
I brought it here on nairaland last week about me and my girlfriend situation who got pregnant for me.
However, the issue on ground now she has refused to abort and I have persuaded her but she refused, she said she's scared.
This girl is my perfect taste, fvcking beautiful, nice ass and all that she's 18+ and I am very okay as a guy money couldn't be my problem. But my problem is her family I can't afford to raise a kid in that family.
Her mom is fvcking careless and wayward doesn't care, her mom is greedy, she likes guys with rides approach her daughters. i met this girl when me and my guy went to buy alcoholic drinks from her mom shop, immediately I sighted her I got attracted to her because of her calmness and beauty. Her mom was so hospitable when we were there I never thought na eyes service she dey dey do so i got captivated by that love and I collected her daughter's number. First day her mom was asking me if I was the one that parked that car there I was like ahhh what's wrong, this woman is so materialistic, I come dey feel na mom convinced her to get pregnant for me. Though I love this girl she's so young and innocent and she loves me but my problem is her family and there's no how all the daughters won't take after their mom.
Even one of her sisters has already taken after their mom as Yoruba adage says "Owu iya lōmō ngbòn". I just don't feel it's alright to raise kid in this shitty family.

Right now I'm thinking of inviting her over and force her to take pills but she has refused to visit me since cos she sense what I'm going to do.

Somebody advice me

Please do not pressure her to have an abortion. You can gently tell her how you feel about her pregnancy and being a father but don't force your opinion on her. The decision to abort or not is one that only she can make. The truth is as a man, you don't really have that much of a say in it. If you knew you didn't want a child then you should have been more responsible about sex by using condoms and made sure she was on some form of contraceptive. Now it's too late so if she wants to have the baby you should just take responsibility and support the it. After all you did say money isn't a problem for you.

What about university of Ilorin?

Recently converted from Christianity to being an atheist though I haven't told anyone yet. When I resume university hopefully in a matter of weeks now that ASUU strike will soon be over, I may leave a note somewhere for my mom to find about my conversion.
I feel religion is just too controlling and restrictive for me. Besides I can't even remember the last time I prayed or read the Bible so I just thought, what's the point of calling myself a Christian when I have clearly lost all my faith in God?

Is atheism prohibited by law in Nigeria? Can someone be executed for being an atheist like in countries like : Afghanistan, Iran,Pakistan,Saudi Arabia, Libya, and Yemen.

Why is it that many women, especially young girls prefer to use things or medicines like antibiotics, ampiclox, salt water, seven up, herbal solutions etc that are not contraceptives to prevent pregnancy? Why don't they just go and get proper contraceptives? They are not even so expensive or hard to get.
My cousin does this and even though I advised her against it she still says she prefers to use antibiotics instead of proper pills.

What should you do if you go to a hospital or clinic for contraceptives and the doctor or nurse starts lecturing you on premarital sex? Should you tell them they are being unprofessional and they should just do their job and keep their rubbish opinions to themselves? Or should you just tell them you're not even religious anyway and so you see nothing wrong with premarital sex?

How can someone get the arm implant method of contraception here? And how much does it cost?

If Nigeria is ranked 17th among the least peaceful countries in the world, then why is there no Nigerian city in the list of top 50 most dangerous cities in the world?

Check out this link: https://briefly.co.za/91981-50-most-dangerous-cities-world.html

And this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cities_by_homicide_rate

Is it bad that I have great contempt for religious codes of behavior especially when it comes to relationships and sexuality?

Why is the Nigerian society so judgmental of people? How do I deal with this and just be my own person and not care at all what people or society think or say about me? Especially when it concerns my personal life (dating and relationship choices, sex life, etc).

How can I stop caring about what my family think of me?

https://www.nairaland.com/4733521/top-ten-abhorent-rules-covenant#71192038

Are the things written here actually true or just exaggerations?

Is it illegal to be a free thinker or atheist in Nigeria? I heard that people who are known atheists can be imprisoned and sentenced to death.

Should you care what people think about you or say about you behind your back? Especially when it concerns your personal life.

Are contraceptives free here? If not how much do they cost ?

Are modern birth control methods, apart from condoms easy to obtain for university students in Nigeria?