₦airaland Forum

Well, it is unfair that he has to apologise for attacking an accusation.

If someone accuses my friend of rape, I am within my rights to discredit her accusation. It doesn’t translate into supporting rape. It is unfair to label me a rape apologist if you haven’t established that the rape actually took place.

imam07:
U think law is like literature class? Talk like an educated fellow. We have see a person accused of murder case and d court set him free because of no evidence.

Please don’t get emotional. Stop assuming things. I just said that people are inclined to believe this story because of his reputation.

No one has accused him of rape before this.

This is a new one and people support Busola because Pastor Biodun has a bad reputation. Simple. I haven’t declared anyone guilty. There is no evidence at hand. Let all aggrieved parties meet in court and end this internet brawl.

dancewith:
You have a point and the point assume he slept with Busola as he does with his other members, that is, with her consent

However being that she was a minor then, it is rape, regardless of consent or even if she initiated the act. That is the law

You’re right about your second paragraph but wrong about your first assumption. I never assumed she gave consent. A minor cannot give consent.

All I’m saying is that prior to this time, he had only been accused of having extramarital affairs and not rape. And that his bad reputation is what has made a lot of people believe this rape story even without evidence.

This is why the alleged rape victims need to come together to make a case against him in court and not settle for internet/social media “justice”.

tsmat:
and I say what you believe does not matter here.... Internet Justice.. SMH

I agree. Internet cannot sentence anyone.

wingmanII:
You maybe correct, but why only this particular pastor?
No smoke without fire. There are other wealthy relatively young pastors with swag too. So why are the accusers picking on this man?

He has a bad reputation for sleeping with his members. Rape, on the other hand, is a new accusation. They are not just accusing him of having extramarital affairs this time. This is a criminal allegation. He is looking at prison in the face.

“No smoke without fire” is not a valid argument. Not unless you can get multiple witnesses whose stories will hold under cross examination. That’s why they need to charge him to court. Social Media won’t sentence him.

Perhaps I live in a different world but Ese didn’t accuse him of RAPE.

Or is this a different Ese Walters? Let’s get our facts right. Busola is the first person to come out publicly and accuse him of rape.

Just stating the facts. Not endorsing him or his actions. I believe he is a sexual predator that needs to face justice. The fact that I need to state this clearly...

Cc Lalasticala Mynd44 Your heading is misleading.

In truth, the girl also violated you by touching you when you were seemingly sleeping.





Consent is key.

Legal battles like this are not cheap. Better to be prepared.

Then sue him to court and let the case begin. Social media won’t sentence him. People will only get slammed with defamation suits or maybe just get threatened.

I don’t know why people are slow to sue these days. They’ll first fight on social media before going to court. Your social media roforofo is not even going to help the case.

If there is a pattern, gather the victims, convince the judge and win the case. If not, he will just escape o!

Me, I think the Pastor is guilty sha. I think Busola is a decent person with a nice career. She has more to lose (than gain) especially being a Nigerian female victim of rape.

This summarises my stand on this matter.

Nothing more to add.

LordAdam16:
Oga I'm not a legal practitioner and I don't give a rat arse about public opinion. Mob mentality does not solve the problem. It creates more.

The problem is that persons (often men) in positions of power exploit their status to coerce those beneath them to engage in a sexual act or quid pro quo and then use their influence to avoid accountability. To solve that problem effectively, there has to be deterrent. That deterrent is jail time and accompanied ostracization in society.

Now you could argue that the #metoo jungle-style social justice is also a deterrent. But it isn't effective. All it's done is split people into two camps: those who believe women and those who stay on the side of the law. The consequence is the backlash that women have received from the workplace to larger society.

The whole Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey; yank everything else but don't send him to jail rubs me the wrong way. Nassar will never see the outside of a prison cell ever again. That's justice. If a crime isn't worth sending to a person to jail for; then how can you possibly convince me that it's worth tarnishing their reputation, taking their livelihoods, and just straight up sh*tting on their lives for.

Nobody ever says, when you can't prove a murder; go to the court of public opinion to air your allegation and let everyone rip the accused of being guilty without due process. This is only applicable to sexual assault. Even Rwandan rape victims needed court adjudication to hound perpetrators. And most of those were open-and-shut cases. We're not in a war situation, and we're engaging in mob action! Why?

If you have no proof or otherwise can't file a case; go see a psychiatrist for closure. As a society we let poor people who can't pay for hospital card die at a hospital A&E department; but somehow we want to prove our morality by lynching people without evidence all in the name of social justice or court of public opinion.

-Lord

virago:
This doesn't vindicate her , it takes more than 2 people coming out to claim you raped them to secure a verdict

Am I wrong? Ese didn’t accuse the Pastor of Rape.

Wow. This is an open minded approach from Bobrisky. He didn’t attack anyone while explaining that the pastor is innocent until proven guilty.

I still don’t think he is innocent sha. But nice one Bobrisky.

There’s just one thing.

We (myself included) have all assumed it to be true.

If you accept that he did it and you are giving excuses on his behalf (saying no one is perfect and all), then you are supporting a crime called rape. Consent is key. A minor cannot legally give consent. A 16 year old is a minor. Sex with a minor is statutory rape anyway.


Now, if we can believe his guilt, others can also believe that she told a concocted tale, fabricated to tarnish his image.

Both opinions are welcome because the truth of the matter has not been established as no one was caught in the act and the matter has not been taken to court.

My thoughts.

Erediauwa:
When he was the president, you never called it RAPE, rather, he was presiding over your Gambia drainage pussy, now that things has gone worse for him, you've now found your voice.


Some Women ehn!

When he was president, he was a dictator/tyrant. Exposing him then would lead to jail time or assassination.

Have you forgotten Jammeh, the Gambian religious dictator who was exiled 2 years ago?

Besides, there is no expiry date for rape allegations. True victims can come out whenever they want. It’s their life and they alone can determine how long it would take them to come to terms with the trauma and initiate their healing process.

Duggedised12:
thanks for your input.

you are welcome.

Lovelyn451:
men and rape...like peenis and scrotum, always together

You are still young. Maybe that’s why you think like this.

Rape is not a male gender crime. Be guided.

Don’t trivialise the struggle of victims by issuing simplistic statements that offer no help or relief but catalyse needless arguments.

Ugosample:
isolated what?

you better kip shut this old man

There are SO MANY cases like these covered up that these religious leaders do

and you are saying "Isolated case"

Doesn’t still make Christianity a scam like the comment (which Toks quoted) said.

Christianity is clearly against rape! The erring pastors have committed the sin and the crime. They are the scam artists. Face them.


I hope Busola charges him to court. Men like this should be locked up forever.

From shaking the table to breaking it finally!

It’s over.

pansophist:
Exactly, you nailed it. Equality come with equal responsibilities, and that is something women do not want to take from my experience. A rich woman still wants a man that will spend lavishly on her, she wont start dating and brushing up broke men, just as men have done since the beginning of time. Women have it better, just that an admission to this truism is something most will never do.

They’d rather kiss a frog than admit.

pansophist:
I think we can all agree that the scapegoated patriarchal system is the best form of societal structure. The op would have been married off a long time ago

Lol. Exactly. Patriarchy is supported by many women but they won’t confess. They are covertly enjoying the perks of being considered the fairer / weaker sex. However, every time I treat ladies the same as guys (especially when it comes to responsibilities) they think I’m just wicked or inconsiderate. But I’m only giving them a taste of the equality they say they want!

OP, sometimes, people don’t get married early because of unfaithful or unserious partners and it’s not their fault. I also wouldn’t call it bad luck. Just that one’s luck is yet to arrive. If you hit the 30 year mark, it becomes even more difficult to settle down because you are too careful. You don’t want to fall into the wrong hands. You want to get it right at once. The probability of which is quite low.

I would suggest a different approach. Time don pass, everybody know. Be more spontaneous now. Date more. Be visible. The more you meet people, the higher your chances of meeting your desired partner.

If you’re too careful, you will be confined and won’t have a large pool to choose from.

OfficialSam:
Stop arguing with a boy.
You better go and borrow sense

why don’t you kiss my áss, MOFO?

Incomplete list. No bottled liquids on the list. They should allow Jollof rice na. Or semo and egusi soup. Not everyone likes to eat cake and other small small food.

QueenSekxy:
It's not a must every relationship will end in marriage.
You spent money and she spent her time being with an immature boy like you. No wonder she dumped your stupid ass. It's obvious you are still a mama's boy.

Does this look like a boy to you? Naaah. This must be one of those mature brosses who would spend so much on a pretty flower they’d love to pluck only to discover the thorns attached to the stem.

Can’t believe he even paid school fees!

He should lick his wounds. The girl’s family have other plans for her. Sorry.

Men should learn to spot ladies who come from families like this. Don’t go and build house on a mobile plot of land.

Lmao

What kind of weird flex is this?

Character dey dis Nairaland o

backnbeta:
Both, I guess

I guess so too

Anyone in business class with his buddies would not see $1,500 as incentive enough to endure 10 long hours of uncomfortable travel.

ebonyggurl:
Lolz. Like I said, I know it happens everywhere...I just want someone who doesn't see it as a normal way of life.
Besides, una nor know say women dey catch Konji too. Everyone simply needs to learn self control.

Now we are in agreement.

So, with these few points of mine, I hope Nigerian (Yoruba) men are still in the running for your heart.

You can see that it’s the work of devil and the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

PS: I (like some naija men) don’t see cheating as a normal way of life.

I can imagine his pain. The pain of having someone as close as a wife who is not in your corner cheering you on, but antagonising you at every turn. It’s worse since he is a pastor. A supposed icon of uprightness is enduring a torn in his flesh and suffering embarrassment in his place of worship. That’s mental torture.

Divorce cases annoy me. It beats me that Judges actually do not dissolve marriages speedily. Man’s not interested anymore and you’re still asking the wife if she wants the marriage? Does anyone really need a reasonable reason to want to divorce his partner? Once one party is disenchanted, let them go their separate ways in peace instead of giving them time to resolve nada. They wouldn’t be in your courtroom if they wanted to resolve it in the first place.

ebonyggurl:
I understand what you mean. Thing is, most nigerian men don't take their marriages seriously. We seem to be in the era of 'using what we have to get what we want'. Its understandable, we're in a third world country afterall. People get married here simply for the sake of having a woman to take care of their 'homes' while they go around doing all sorts of nonsense and society is forcing women to accept this as normal. I know people cheat all over the world, but atleast they don't take it as a normal way of life. The typical nigerian man would say "ehen, ordinary cheating?"

Ordinary cheating, but when the woman does it to the man, his family would come out and devour her and chase her out of the home.

I understand our society’s bias against women in this regard. Your concerns are 100% valid. Interestingly, men are hardly the only ones seeking to downplay the gravity of the situation. We have come across videos of women boldly advocating for “understanding” from wives when their husbands cheat on them, saying it rains everywhere. They are the ones calling it a masculine “privilege” of sorts. Agreed, it is sad that some people want to normalise it.

However, it rains everywhere and I don’t want to believe it’s a patriarchal construct. Cheating is a human thing so don’t put the load on Nigerian men alone. Carry your own share too.

It appears marriages these days, are like bandaids for loneliness/family pressure. Once you find relief, time to rip it off.

Sad that OP believes her marriage is crashing and has prepared her mind for it. It’s also sad that money and not infidelity is the catalyst.