@ OP
Just ignore all the posts that don't make sense. There are a lot of loose canons/little kids here on NL.

About your question, your fears are not unfounded. It can be really worrisome, particularly if you want to be logical/analytical based on the facts. I have friends who got married >30 and have kids today. I equally have friends who got married >30 and don't have kids. C'est la vie!

Trust me, she's has probably also questioned her ability to conceive "after 30" and is building up all her faith, so i understand if you don't want to puncture that with probing questions.

My advice: If BOTH of you can handle it, BOTH of you should go for a medical check-up. You can tell her that you want BOTH of you to know for sure. Although it is not a guarantee that babies will come immediately after the wedding, it just gives BOTH of you some level of assurance that there's nothing wrong with either of you. And that knowledge will help your faith (BOTH of you), and will develop the thick skin in her. Please note my emphasis on "BOTH of you".

All the best man!

Thanks for all the clarification you've provided on this thread. Your efforts are really appreciated.
I have a quick question though i understand it's not your turf. I'll really appreciate any help you can provide.

I'll be travelling to the US with my family. We all have visas. We have a domestic staff we'll like to travel with us. We'll be fully responsible for all the associated costs of her travel. As you can guess, she doesn't have any form of "collateral tie" to her country, her english is limited and she may be considered an "intending immigrant". We were considering attending the interview with her to provide some sort of comfort to the VO. What are her chances?

Your honest opinion will be appreciated.

tobiojo2002:
Please i"d like to know if you paid for both urself and ur baby or u paid only for urself, cos i'm about to have a baby in NY and the financial counselor actually said i was to settle just my bill and not my baby's, she also said i would not be turned back for applying for medic aid for a US citizen, i need to be extra sure, i dont mind picking up my baby;s bills ,

Please pay BOTH bills. Don't apply for medic aid for your baby.

I got my first job with a Big4 accounting firm before i finished NYSC.
Some tips:
1) Start hunting while serving. Don't wait till you finish NYSC. The whole recruitment process takes a while so you want to get a head start.
2) Invest in GMAT,SHL etc and practice till you are extremely good at it. You must constantly be in "TOP" mode.
3) Read the Bible(for me) motivational books, industry-related literature, news journals etc.
4) Always expect opportunities to show up. Desire has a funny way of attracting such opportunities to you.
5) Don't piss off your allowance. You'll need it to finance your movement.
6) Money isn't the focus now. Learning is. Always learn, unlearn and relearn. The world is extremely dynamic and your thoughts must be as fluid as well.
7) And yea.. it really helps if you graduated with at least a 2.1. But if you didn't, just know that you'll have to work harder at the chances you get.

My 2 cents.

Most insightful post of all, devoid of sentiments and fear. Well done.

chi nene:

Why is there so much talk about this? If they intend to marry, they can. If they decide to have children, they can. They only need to get the right information and be determined. I am against birthing children who will be sick or end up dead so the best is to ensure that you have healthy chidren from the begining. Walk into any ART center around you and make enquires about various methods of Assisted Reproductive Technology. If a woman with reproductive problems or a impotent man can have children, why not them. Let me state that this is my thoughts and am not forcing anyone to agree with me.

sorry too late. I already ported

The colour of your passport doesn't make any difference when you fly FIRST CLASS.

genny4u: @ 2good'sorry abt dat,we tnk God for his faithfulness,its well.
Dear mothers in the house,did anyone register for wic programme or can registering/participating in it cause a visa renewal denial?tnx.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WIC#Eligibility

From what i understand, its a government-funded assistance meant for residents of the US. This is a RED flag and STRONG case for a denial.

2good: Hmmmm. I just had my baby in the US and have paid a hospital bill of atleast $14,000 cash as I speak and I just got another bill for about $2,000 and another bill for epidural is coming soon. Its really crazy here with so many hidden charges and they don't explain the whole details to you. Well, I will just advice any one coming here to have a baby to do proper research and also budget atleast $20,000 for the process, just incase. By the way, I already spent extra $4,000 USD on flight booking to the US and back to my base. It is indeed a mad country with everybody looking for how to get what ever they can from you without advising you properly on the cost.
Also I had the child in Atlanta and my wife was in labor for 2 days.
So I will end up spending about $22,000 for the whole process. That is indeed a lot of money but I had to pay all the bill to give my wife a clean sheet just for the sake of the future.

@2good. First things first. A BIG congratulations to you on the arrival of your baby. Usually the bills start getting scary when there are complications with the birth process. While some of the specialist services may seem unnecessary, some are very important to give the child (and the mother) a clean bill of health. Another assumption usually is that you are insured in the US and your insurance company will be doing the payment, so they gross up the cost to get as much as they can during further negotiations. It's also instructive to note that you CAN and SHOULD negotiate most of these bills.

@everyone
A good TIP, if you find your bills getting scary, is to be NICE and get REAL with the Account Officer handling your case at the hospital. They can literally move mountains for you. Don't ACT like you have all the money in the world (cos they are ready to take it ). I had my bill reduced from >$68k to about $12k.

Why would i buy designer labels?
I'm not a good bargain hunter and that's all they have where i shop

IMHO.. Your accent doesn't matter.. as long as you COMMUNICATE effectively. If you like, speak through your nostrils

sweetg: @Ring of God, that isn't true. [/b]I contacted a lawyer even before getting the Medicaid. I called the collection office and the Medicaid office it's self. Some of the tips the consular gave me was even medicaid. She is eligible. My cost of delivery is on me. [b]No body will deny u visa because u applied for a citizen. NO no. I got my fact before doing so. I know ppl who have done sooo too. It's not in my record but my child's. how do can u pay 30'000 dollars for a child. [/b]America don't expect u to do so. When get there study there system. Get informations. Safe trip

Technically, a US-born baby is entitled to medicaid, [b]BUT, I would advise anyone that gives birth in the US to stay away from it. The consular officers here in Nigeria expect you to be able to PAY for your delivery (and all associated costs). (I can understand that there were complications which was why the baby's bill shot up to $30k - which was probably more than your initial budget.- this is rather subjective - and depends on the consular officer you meet during your next visa interview.)

And YES YES, you can be denied a visa if you applied for Medicaid for your baby, as it may sway the consular officer to believe that you actually LIED about your financial status during your previous application. All in all, it's NOT a good signal on your subsequent applications.

Give up your son to satisfy you & your boyfriend?

Have you considered these "future" scenarios?
Boyfie says "since he's doing well with his father's family, why don't you just leave him, let us build our own family together?"
You end up staying longer than anticipated and your son grows up without a strong sense of connection to you.
If you eventually decide to leave your son for your academic pursuit + "boyfie's" satisfaction, you stand the risk of lifetime of trying to win your son back.
There's also the other possibility of your son having a better life with you out of the picture.

These are just conjectures at the moment but please weigh your options carefully.

Please send price list to aniffy4eva @ yahoo. co. Uk.
Include all additional costs for outside Lagos and possible discounts for bulk purchases.
Thank you

subsidy12: Good day all. I jsut had a baby here in atlanta and I intend to pay full cash 4 my delivery. I heard it is fine to regiater the baby at medicaid so they can cater 4 ha treatment and immunization before returning back home. Pls I need an advice now so I dont make a mistake

Don't even touch anything Medicaid.

A nice shower, some wine and good sex

Eela!!! brings back the memories
Sometimes it is hereditary. Its possible you or(and) your husband had it as infants.

Well you can also use tribotan (for babies). Its an anti-fungal cream.

na2: Hello house. i applied 4 my american visa and my interview is on 27th, but only to print out my data page and found out that I mistakenly spelt my native name- skiped S - oshorenoyah (ohorenoyah ).please, I want to know if this has a negative impact and what are my chances, can it be change without them being suspicious ?
Thanx

Where did you make this mistake? On your DS-160 form? If that's the case, you'll need to fill a new DS-160 form. Please i would advise you not to go to the embassy with a passport that bears a different name when compared to your confirmation page. And in this case: oshorenoyah is different from ohorenoyah.

stariobran: Hello,
Please I would be travelling next week to the US for a week. I would be going with my blackberry phone and would want to display pictures of some goods through my display pictures. I don't want a contract stuff or something, is there any network provider that can allow me pay for blackberry full services for just a week? And how do I go about that.

If you are staying in a hotel, there should be free wiFi.. Just connect... Although, you may not have BBM services except you are back at the hotel.
Could provide some cost savings though.

Abali1:
Thank you for responding

Anything for the cause
You are welcome.

I agree with Abali1 on this one. In my opinion, the awareness on SCD is pretty low, considering level of illiteracy in Nigeria. Moreover, a lot of people who think they know, don't know as much (yours truly included).... We learn everyday...

Abali1: This thread is born out of the desire to get people's opinion concerning those of us living with SS. Below is a draft questionnaire I intend distributing to people, in the course of researching Sickle Cell Disease (SCD).

QUESTIONNAIRE:

1) Did your parents do genotype testing before they got married? NO

2) If not, do you consider yourself 'lucky' to have escaped being born a SS? LUCKY? Maybe... I'm AA

3) Would you categorise Sickle Cell as a terminal illness alongside Cancer or HIV/AIDS? Terminal is a strong word.. i'll go with HIGH-RISK

4) With you knowledge of Sickle Cell disease, which genotype pairing do you think is the most compatible for someone with sickle cell to marry? AA

5) Do you think that with the right education and awareness of Sickle Cell disease, that someone living with Sickle cell can live a long, healthy and productive life? YES..Education is important.... Sound finances can also be helpful

6) In your estimation, how long do you think that a SS person can live? In other words what is the expected Life expectancy? Life is in God's hands... Average life expectancy in Nigeria is 47 .. i know of perfectly normal healthy people who died way before 20
7) Can you marry someone living with Sickle Cell? YES. In fact... i am...

If NO, what are your reasons? (Please state a cogent/tenable reason) N/A

9) Do you think a SS male can father a child? YES

10) Do think a SS female can carry a pregnancy to term? YES. We have a son... Very cute i should add.

11) Have you ever been in close association with a SS person? YES....

12) If yes, do you consider them different from other people having AA or AS? NO

One more question... 13) If you had to live all over, would you marry her? YES.. a million lifetimes more

jidegirl12: @annify4eva, phew ! that's a full time job on its own ... Good luck OP . *murmurs*

LOL @ jidegirl12
Usually, building a system is a lot of work (sometimes worse than a full time job). Once the system is up and running, the rest is basically routine.
_{*i run a very profitable online business*}

Woged2005:
Thanks a milion times. Was wondering if credit card is widely used in Nigeria now for people to buy things online?

Commercial banks in Nigeria issue ATM cards (Mastercard, Visa or Verve) which are being used for online transactions. I pay a lot of my bills online.

Woged2005: First I want to thank my virtual friends on Nairaland for your contributions to my previous threads. I really learned a lot but now becoming addicted to NL..LoL!!. God bless you all!
Please how can one own a small family business in Nigeria without involving family members if you don't live in Nigeria? I don't want to use anyone from my family. I did that in the past and it nearly resulted in family issues. This time I want to do it professionally with agreements. How can I do it to avoid being cheated. It's going to be a shop selling baby items, and family items. I have a source in USA willing to supply me at discount. I need advice on: (1)Agreement type, (2)Getting the right person? (3) Best way to compensate the person? (if commision, what's the right commission to pay)(4)Monitoring sales daily, weekly, or monthly(5) Must I use a family member? I will like to avoid family member if I can.
What are your past experiences and advice to me?

You don't have to be in Nigeria "on ground" to run a business. Any business that requires your presence ALL the time is NOT a business - it's a job.
Let me share a few tips with you:

1. Go online. Your business seems like retail stuff. Have a great website denominated in different currencies (including Naira).
2. You need local bank accounts ( to confirm payment)... see if you can enable online payments through interswitch, etc
3. You need a good distribution platform. e.g. myUS dot com - it's a website that can ship anything you want (online) to any address in Nigeria. You can check it out or look for alternatives.
4. Instead of looking for people to employ as salespeople etc.... Why don't you factor the expense into a promo ON your website? e.g. Spend more than N20,000 and get a FREE gift item (with an actual list of items that the buyer can select from) .. OR.... Every person that refers someone that ends up buying something >N10,000 gets a FREE gift item... There are many ways to run around this. You just need to be creative.
5. Leverage on your network (physical and online) to market your website. Make it possible to register (email, phone etc) so that you can slowly build a database of customers that may end up being your sales-force (for FREE)
5. IMO this is a better model (with a few modifications) than opening a shop and incurring costs that you could have avoided.

... Oya so how much will you pay me for these tips?

It's ALL in the attitude of the student.

@ OP
When it's that time of the month... just be on your best behaviour
Here are some ideas:-

House-chores (women ALWAYS like that ).
Cook (even if she doesn't like your cooking) .
Take her out (if she wants to)
Always ask if there's anything you can do for her (the thought counts)
Leave her alone (if need be)
..and please NO sex ... even if konji wan kill you.

and like feminine A above said.... Multiply that by 10 when she gets pregnant
(_{whoever said it was a man's world lied.....} )

I believe miracles happen, but just in case it's the child's time to go.. let me share our experience when we lost our daughter.

She was our first child.
Although hard to bear, i remember being advised to be there for my wife. I remember i would excuse myself for brief moments, lock myself in my car (or the bathroom) and cry my eyeballs out. Wipe my face and then come out to be the strong one for her.

After the funeral, my wife went to spend some time with her mom, away from the oohs*, aahs* and sorrys* of people. After a while, the sympathies/comments really get nauseating. We then went on a vacation and i continued to reassure her that everything would be alright. In retrospect, i don't think she ever saw me cry.... But i wept.. God knows how many times i wept. To be honest, time does heal all wounds... but the scars still remain. Funny enough, the experience forged an even greater bond between us.

Ask your friend to always remember.."This too shall pass"... This is not the time to think about himself, he should remember that his wife and child need him more. Emotional outbursts from his wife are to be expected and also she'll ask him some tough questions about life, God etc... He should take it in stride and i pray God grants him the wisdom to see this through.

However, if a miracle occurs and his child gets well... He should never forget this experience and always remember how valuable his family is to him.
BTW we've been blessed with another child and he's a bundle of joy

OP has stated what he wants... (if he's legit )To be honest.. $50k isn't so much

The comments below are unnecessary... People and their "ONE-WAY" thinking sha...

slimyem: Op,the brand you are on is very impressive..
Can I have some?

tellwisdom: Are you related to basket mouth??

sholay2011: OP, are you a ritualist looking for a virgin for blood money? (No insult intended).
The post sounds too weird to be true...'Extremely beautiful, virgin, but attitude is by the way?!'
If this is real, the poster should go for deliverance. Nonsense!

baby_123:
Are you looking to buy a wife or marry one. I have a creepy feeling for the poor poor woman.

A man that has to double-check who i say i am is NOT worthy of being my father-in-law.
Case closed.

begwong:
Are u by chance related to AFAM4EVA

No i'm not.

Symphony007: Beyonce was the real winner last night!! She was smoking hot!!! And who would have taught for a second the u.s can experience power outage at such a grand event? At least no matter how bad nigeria is, we've never had a power outage at any international event we hosted!!

I guess Beyonce was so hot she took the lights out!

i was rooting for the 49ers... especially for Colin Kaepernick....
It was an interesting game though.. particularly after the Power Outage...

foliks: I am a christian lady dating a Muslim guy for about a year now,the guy has been everything a woman can ever ask for in a man. Before I met him I dated my first boyfriend for 5yrs but those years were the saddest years of my life and each time I try to leave,he comes back begging and another relationship.
I was supposed to have left me because he found out my first boyfriend is still around now my first bf is back begging again and has gone to beg my aunty. Now my aunty who is like my mum cos my biological mum is dead has refused to support my new relationship and even said I should give my ex another chance since my new bf is a Muslim and now we are not even speaking to each other because she feels my new relationship is the reason am not accepting him back...
I don't know what to do,please what do you advice

Depends on how much influence "OTHER PEOPLE" have over both of you. Always expect some half-baked,ignorant morons to start quoting scriptures on why you shouldn't because they don't know how to MIND their BUSINESSES! They'll either ask one to convert the other or walk away from the relationship. That's a lot of pressure for a couple to bear.

However, if you don't really care about what "OTHER PEOPLE" think and are willing to give it a shot, then please go ahead with your muslim HUNK .

By the way....
MANY christian/muslim marriages have succeeded.
MANY christian/christian marriages have failed.
MANY muslim/muslim marriages have failed.

Just so you know.. i'm a christian.