₦airaland Forum

I hate it when men cannot stand up for their wives.

I always thank God for my family because nobody has that time. My mom is too busy with her business, my brothers and sister don't even have anybody's time. All the wives are free and relaxed. We barely visit ourselves but very cooperative when there is a need in the home.

I am not married but my fiancee is loved and protected by my siblings.

I don't take her too close to my friends, just the ones that are like blood. Some friends are lousy and have no respect or boundaries. They'd want to talk down on ladies, body shame or compare them and that's the reason I don't take her close to any of them. It's been 5yrs together and we have grown together yet some friends haven't see my babe. There are occasions I attend with her and there are some I tell her to stay back and I go alone. She is beautiful with the perfect structure. Perfectly fit for me but guys will always be guys who only see women as people they talk down at that's the reason I take her close to only friends I know are reasonable and it's my way of protecting my woman and keeping friends from getting to my head.

I hope men learn to understand that as a man you are a protector of your woman and kids.

My siblings put their wives and kids first before our family and that's how it shud be, thats how our late dad put us first above his own siblings and that's what mindset I have too... No interference in anybody's life.

There was a time one of the newly married wife had issues with my brother and went to report to my mom, after talking my mom told her to fix it. She went to report our first son and second son including the wives. When she saw that nobody interfered she calm down.


We have our family whatsapp group where only we the children discuss and trash issues in private, we also have a whatsapp group which includes everybody including the wives, then another one which includes extended family.

In the private group matters arising are discussed, if there is need to scold someone or treat an issue, we treat it there without even the wives knowing. If there is need to discuss things that involves all the wives, we discuss in the general group.

Though we have our fights and disagreements sometimes but we don't meddle in our marriages, highest we can do is discussed issues raised, scold u in the private group or when we have our monthly family meeting in our mom's house. Whatever you choose to do with the advise is your business we Don talk be say we Don talk.

The wives are certainly very comfortable and free with everyone. I am the next in line to marry and my fiancee in our 5yrs relationship is already friends with my siblings and their wives, even my mom. She is in school and many times on her own go spend holiday with my sister who is married in the state she schools without my knowledge sef. Though their relationship dates back before we started dating.

Bottom line is, how the father decides he wants his family to be. My dad placed us first and didn't allow outside interference in our home, he didn't even interfere in his brothers family and even after his passing, we grew up like that.

For your wife to openly tell you to dissolve the marriage it means she is tired.

Dissolve the marriage and let naysayers talk. Your peace of mind should be prioritized.

As for your kids, they will cope.

Also watch out, there may be a third party in that marriage. Do not rule out DNA test for those kids and also do not take eyes off her activities in church.

During courtship when you guys had distant relationship did you do background finding if there was someone in the picture? Any ex? Did she leave anyone to marry you?

No Nigerian woman deliberately wants her home to be toxic but when they do, they want out and you should grant them that wish.

I know your fear is what the world will say and how your kids will live, you need to be sane before you think of others

Looking at the scars it's obvious she is an accident survival and she turned it to strength found in her love for fashion.

Before you judge something, try know the story behind it

My sincere advise for you.

1. If you are not one that can create something from nothing like starting a business etc, the only states you should relocate to is either lagos or Lagos. Abuja and Portharcout are two good candidates too but not like Lagos. Lagos is a den for hustlers, for those that can survive the harsh realities of life. If not Lagos like I said, relocating should be out of the country.

Nigeria is such a shithole mess with almost all the 34 states in a mess. No real job opportunities, no companies, no place to work. You are either a scammer (yahoo boy), a political thug, follow politicians around, a pastor, a yeye motivational speaker, a menial job worker or a bus driver. Those are the jobs available in other states. The few available jobs are either bank work or some yeye office job that the pay is annoying and even with those job seekers are extremely too much.

2. Secondly, when going to hustle in a face of uncertainty, you don't take family along because one stupid decision will make your poor wife and daughter suffer badly. You are a married man and your ability to be flexible with risky ventures is slim. You could have done this as a single guy but you didn't. Taking such risks, if it backfires your family will suffer. Remember you have not only your life to protect but that of your wife and kid.

If you must go-to Uyo, leave your wife and kids behind, they can either stay with your mom or in your house and be surviving. When you find your feet you can bring them over.

3. Thirdly, you want a loan of 200k for what? To feed? Sorry to say but you are not smart at all. You want to take such loan in uncertainty and when you fail you put your mom in a mess. Guy be smart. Loans are not meant for liabilities. We are abusing loans in this country thats why we get BP when called to pay. You only take a loan when you have a sure deal to close, close the deal, get your profit, pay back the loan with interest and pocket your profit. You go your way happy while the creditors also go happy. Loan is never for settling debts OR for start up.

Lastly, whatever decision you arrive at, make sure it is for the best interest of your wife and kids. They deserve the best, you are their protector, their lives come first before yours.

Always have that at the back of your mind before you leap.

Two lives depend on you to live, rash or careless decisions should never be an option.

Good luck

Someone that makes 20 - 30k per night and still insists she is living a hard life is not being sincere.

With that amount of money made daily she is richer than most salary earners and business owners.

20k in 7days is 140k, in a month is about 600k.

Note I didn't include the 30k, I went with her minimum and chances are she may have suppressed how much she makes to make it appear bad.

A month hustle from her is enough to take her off the street. The business that dude wants to set up for her cannot fetch her that kind of money and believe me, it's a personal decision from her to rock life and remain on her high paying hook up Job.

One thing that comes along with hook up is the entertainment they get from it, drinks, food and sex.

The dude just wasted his money

I know say na Ankara him must wear.

DeJoeee:
My gf just developed this recent habit of going to the kitchen with only her panties and shower cap leaving her breast bare.

Sometimes she will wear my polo(which is long on her cos I'm much taller) with no panties
This is a girl who is naked shy as recent as december last year.

I'm not supposed to suspect her cos she's from a very responsible home and possibly my wife to be but the experience of others have thought me to suspect any new move of the other gender no matter how innocent.

Do I need to worry about this?

Please mods help push to front page for more mature advise . This issue is of big concern to me

Stfu. She feels safe and comfortable with you. You've both have sex. She has seen u in your lowest and you have seen her in her lowest too with all manner of styles, sucking and banging what else is there to hide? She feels free with you doesn't mean she does it everywhere or are you looking for an excuse to runaway?

I met my fiancee in 2017, I didn't see her pants talk more of her unclothedness till 2021 but since it happened whenever she comes around, first thing she does is she UnCloth in front of me, take off her clothes to feel free, open my wardrobe and look for either singlet OR a lighter clothe to wear and feel free, cooks that way and sleeps that way.

And I don't think trash because over the years she has paid her dues and earned the trust.

Hannaz:
The way this film is everywhere is making me feel that if it's that good then they won't need to gather influencers to promote it. The promotion no be here

I watched the movie today and I rate it so high. Forget the hype, the movie dope. Just like brotherhood but the storyline is more mature.

A typical example of gangsterism in Lagos

Story sounds familiar

My childhood friend in my hood family had a similar story.

They were a family of boys, boys as in the great grand father Gave birth to only boys. According to him 10 boys no girl. His grand father gave birth to 8 boys no girl

His father gave birth to 7 of them boys, his uncles also gave birth to boys only, even his cousins that are married, just boys.

His elder brother who was like the black sheep in the house was dating a prostitute in one hotel like that in our street. We didn't really know sha. We thought it was just him going to sex as usual not knowing that they had something beyond paid sex.

It was a shock to the family and people in the street when a prostitute accused him of impregnating her. As in, he denied ooo and before we knew prostitute brought police to arrest him. That was how he was forced to accept the pregnancy

It was a big disgrace to the family. Ashawo Don leave hotel carry bag come family house. Cos of shame the guy rented another house for him as his pregnant babe to stay (him no get choice). It was hell, they were always fighting. This guy almost beat that girl to death but thank God she no stab am but when the girl put to bed, Lo and behold it was a baby girl.

Omo! First baby girl in the family in decades, not just the first in their family but in the whole extended family.

Everybody forgot who the mother is and celebration began. The father killed a cow, the uncles, cousins and everyone came around.

Street was shut down that date, see drinks. We were happy. It's like something was unlocked in the family and it came from a prostitute.

Two years later, the lady still in the house got pregnant again and still another baby girl. That was how the thing broke, the cousins wife gave birth to their own daughters too.


Bottom line is that, the prostitute has been married fully into the family. She and her husband come to visit atimes. She looks so decent and homely now. I think one of the best wife in the family because my friend's parents (mom and dad) don't joke with the lady and even when I was still in the hood, I remember my friend do go to her house to eat whenever hunger comes.

Shey eyes dey pain me ni abi no be okro soup that guy dey drink inside cup so? Abeg make una help me look am again

fineboynl:
how do you change AC filter? Remove the dashboard?

No, it's very easy to change. I don't know how to describe it but it just beside opening abi drawer in front of passengers sit (I don't know what the name is called) you can watch it on YouTube or if u are not sure, call a technician and with 1k he will just slide it in n out

galantjoe:
You people should have online meeting or zoom meeting to discuss how you people should finance your parents health and old age expenses. It is thru this way you people will know her grudges, grievance and anger for her little or no contribution.

You people should give her fair hearing to explain herself.

Exactly my thought.

As I am I don't give a Bleep about what anyone earns. Just keep whatever billions u have to yourself but you see your responsibility to our parents u must bring your share

There is this thing in Canada base that I don't understand. Extremely stingy. Unlike those base in USA Canada base pple are very stingy

I don't know whether it is the country they find themselves or what


My uncle whom my dad fed and sent to Canada since 2000 is there, owns a mighty hospital but extremely stingy and doesn't send anyone, even when my dad died man didn't send anything and we don't even bother to talk to him or take his calls. I was just 8yrs when he left, he was my godfather, I don't even remember what he looks like again and nobody has his phone number cos he is useless.

My friend's cousins about 5 of them are in Canada very stingy and useless, I have some business partners in Canada also very stingy and useless.

But the ones I know in USA are free and liberal. Maybe it's how the system is in Canada.

Olawrites:
I keep saying it, this life your destiny is in your hand. Thanks for the write up.
I had my major breakthrough since 2020 when I stopped working for anyone.

2020 was a blessing for me, I look bigger, fresher and neater now because covid happened. The way I carried that teaching job on my head, I would have wanted my life. I never thought that a time would come and I will comfortably dash out money in hundreds.

I am not where I want to be but I thank God that I left my teaching job

This one na family business so make them sort themselves.

During election they thought igbos is their problem.

Who dey do conductor and driver pass for this country?

Timmi:
Ordinary geography you no understand, ordinary common sense you no get. The only you know is to wake up in the morning to wail, continue wailing throughout the day and conclude wailing throughout the night. Son of the wailing wailers.

When a Bastard talks you know

Omo since its a robbery prone area better quit the job but first tender a resignation letter.

Reason I said u shud tender a resignation letter is because I want u to go there and let them see u before they start hatching evil thoughts that you were with the robbers that's why you fled and didn't return for fear of being lynched.

So go back there, tell your ordeal, register your fears and leave jeje with a clean name

Last time I checked UK and France is just an under water tunnel drive away.

Tinubu is a criminal and can do anything.


Both reports are correct

Deceive the media that you went to France for treatment while the cjn went to London but in reality both planned to meet

OmoGomesIlorin:
I meet this lady in December 2019 and by 2020 we had the opportunity to connect with each other on a friendship level. From my interactions with her and observations, she is cool-headed and calm, intelligent and ambitious. Her skills match someone I dream of marrying. She is from Anambra, state - Umuoji

However, as a low-budget guy, I am weighing my options due to stereotype of demanding for a gargantuan bride price.

I want to know if what people are saying online is true or exaggerated


Editted

You are obviously a Yoruba guy and with the kind of hate we have received so far from your people, I am very sure her parents will reject you.


We saw so called educated men, boys and women stir up ethnic hate just cos of elections. They rejected their son just because he has an igbo mother and an igbo wife.

Parents watched and that has its repercussions because the relationship between igbos and yorubas have been set back again.

See ehhh, just wait for the healing process (if at all there will be any) before you proceed because now the anger from the just concluded election is still fresh

Belawy:
Folks it's being over a month now that I lost my job due to little excuse. I was asked to tender my resignation letter because I went for prayer .

This is really tearing me apart and is eating me every day because I'm afraid of the Impact of this job loss on my family. I am steadily entering depression.

Losing that job could be answers to the prayers you went for. Sometimes salary blinds you from the numerous opportunities that abounds around you.

Imagine yourself staying tied in one building 8-5 everyday and you don't grow neither do you know what's happening around.

Most office workers don't even have any business idea that's why they are the first to fall for ponzi schemes because they don't have time for themselves so they easily fall for anything that will make money work for them.

Let me tell you a bit about myself.

After graduation, I worked as a teacher earning 47k monthly. My family and everyone depended on that money. Infact my life was on it, I was so scared of losing my job.

After two years earning was increased to just 61k. I couldn't live outside the salary but something happened.

In 2020 during covid lockdown, you know teachers were affected most. I stayed at home doing online lesson and salary dropped from 60k to 40k to 30k to 10k until the school decided that they can no longer pay salaries.

My fears had come to pass. No salary, how do I survive? How will my mom and siblings survive? With lack of salary my eyes opened to opportunities and I started marketing people's goods.

I would go-to markets, take pictures and market, sellers give their price and I will add my price and market. I marketed anything sellable online, from phones, to fridge, to TV etc.
Gradually I began to make little sales with profit of 4k, 5k, 10k etc. Gradually I began making my salary.

Fast forward to when covid madness was over, they called us back but I told my family to buckle up that I was about to drop a resignation letter. If I could survive those months without salary then it wasn't the salary that has been sustaining me.

My mom and siblings everyone adjusted and i went out to continue with my hustle.

Fast forward to today, my colleagues that I left in that school are still earning 75k but that amount sometimes I make that profit in a day, many atimes in a week (though there are bad weeks and months sha).

I have three cars out there for e-hailing with people driving and giving remittance of 25k weekly each, I have two POS stands, I have two plots of lands and I have been able to rent a good house for myself and left mama's house for good.

I tell people this story so they can open their eyes and see sack letters as a blessing in disguise.

If your job is not paying you enough to make you live large then you shouldn't die cos of a sack letter.

Since US and the west see Africa as a continent they can just bully and exploit they will continue to leave loopholes for Russia and China to exploit

I voted.
Initially I lost interest to vote so I just went out to see my fiancee. While with her, her dad stepped out that he was going to vote and I said, Ahh daddy so after everything that happened on 25th you still want to waste time voting in this country.

The man said my dear, we have to keep trying. It's you people that are still young that I am sorry for because my generation will soon go and leave the mess for you guys to fix. He went out with his wife.

Immediately they left I called my fellow Obi-dient friend and he said he has voted. Time was already 1:45pm barely 15mins before they close polls. Luckily my PU is just right there in the street (I lived in same street before I relocated and I didn't change my PU).

I checked my wallet, brought out my pvc and went straight to vote. It didn't take up to 3mins with the accreditation and voting.

acorntree:
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?

Yes, y do u ask?

I hardly wear shoes except on Sundays for church and when I have occasions.

They are tiring for me.

I have 7 shoes but wear just one every Sunday. I have enough pams slippers and recently I started wearing sandals

acorntree:
You can say this for Auto not manual. Mastering how and when to change gear in manual take time to learn. An slowpoke can easily drive auto not manual

Wetin u dey use manual do for this time and season when driver less cars are fast rising.

Una just like suffer for this part of the world

That amount now cannot get you a reasonable Toyota corolla or Camry.

According to Nigeria inflation it is too small.

It's your first car and I will never advise you to buy Nigerian used cos it will seem like you wasted money considering how you painstakingly saved for it.

Continue saving and make sure you begin with a correct Tokunbo. Go for Nigeria used if and only if you know someone that has a sound car and wants to japa OR maybe you know a silly yahoo boy that has gone broke and needs money badly, he can sell a car worth 5mil for that 1.8m so hungry won't kill him.

Lastly, runaway from older versions of Honda cars except you have power to be fixing tire everyday.

Good luck

It's no longer 4 pple tweeting in a room. They are scared and shaking.

They know who won the last election.

Peter Obi and Obidients is their kryptonite

Yesterday CBN finally released a circular bowing to pressure to release on naira notes and make them legal tender as ruled by the court but in some quarters there are still issues with compliance by Nigerians to accept the old notes.

So what is the compliance rate in your axis?

For me, I entered bus from mile 2 to oshodi and all passengers were either with N100, N200 OR the new 1,000 notes.

I also tried to buy something but the seller refused to accept the old note.

For banks, I am in a sterling bank branch with about 5 ATMs but only two of them are dispensing cash. Old notes and a maximum of 10k.

Let's hear about your area and the compliance

Get a side chick and let her be. She will sit up

He knows the real result in Lagos for the presidential election that's why he is jittery