₦airaland Forum

Ah ahn! Oga Moderator. Did you remove my comment? What did I post that made you delete my comment ni?

Ok o. I won’t settle fight again.

Jbloc:
Not true.
I was there yesterday and I give them pass mark on organisation.
They followed the teller numbering religiously. I did the fast track service and had my passport same day.

Wonders!

wonlasewonimi:
If you take a bus to Apongbon, walk like 5 minutes to CMS......move close to the river bank, hail one canoe, tell him thames river bustop. You can't miss it.

You’re wicked sha

veleta:
@Mellady,uou can walk in without appointment and pay £100 for same day collection. If you get there around 9:00am, you will leave before 12:pm.Renewed ours 2 weeks ago. Just be there on time.

Really

They are improving o!

Mellady:
Pls who has renewed Nigerian passport at London embassy recently?, I have an appointment this December for my renewal, someone told me the staff are extremely rude and I will spend the whole day at the embassy on the interview date.

Lol if you see the way I avoid that place like a plague eh! Like I’ve scheduled my trip back to Nigeria to renew my passport I refuse to walk into yeye service with my two legs

Blinkzcha:
Can I do this? I Don’t have a work permit tho

Wait. How do want to work without “work” permit?

LagosismyHome:
Fyi

Thanks for sharing.

Been getting lots of texts about not claiming my money back from HMRC. I just hiss and delete. I think this one catches people that are doing shady stuff. If you’re paying your taxes, and they accuse of of tax avoidance, the way I’ll insult the person eh

justwise:
Try First Direct regular saver, its 2.75% AER but you need First Direct current account and pay in £25-£250 monthly

Wow! I didn’t even know this and I have an FD account! Thanks

dustydee:
Thank you for this. Aside Petrofac, please can you mention any other one? For Petrofac, I believe the price will crash if found guilty by SFO before it appreciates. I have been waiting for the investigation to be completed. People lost money when the news broke and the price hasn't recovered since.

Why don’t you try peer to peer lending? Like Zopa. I heard it’s really good but I haven’t tried it.

oyoolima:
Sgtponzihater,
I want to believe it's your distress speaking and you know you are talking about a human being and not cattle.
Seems brideprice you paid is still paining you till now.

What you both are facing is teething problems that could occur to any couple who just migrated but yours is slightly more complicated as she is pregnant and may be acting irrationally .

You have to go back to the drawing board and start all over.
Find out what is actually troubling her and then table your grievances and talk through them.

[b]Cleaning,sweeping,cooking are not new.A lot of men do it without batting an eye ,I think that's why no one is showing you much sympathy .Nothing you are doing sounds special unfortunately.

It must be difficult coming from Nigeria from doing nothing to now doing almost all the chores

Buying grocery is not a big deal,you both have to start working together .[\b]

Money wise,there's no solution except to talk and write out all bills and what percentage she will bring and you both agree to it .

Remind her that late bills payments could impact your credit rating ,I'm sure you're both looking to buy your own house.

Tell her you want to be appreciated.

[b]It is hard to see a man who treats his wife well getting repaid with wickedness.

Look for women who are very complimentary of their husbands and worship them,those men have usually led by example or have proved to be men who are trustworthy and sacrificial[\b]

These issues can be resolved.im not a fan of involving family,I think a couple should sort their issues by themselves or go to a neutral counsellor.

Mad ass respect for you. Especially the bolded

Realgeo:
Typical African woman believes that when things are going her way or favouring her then it's all nice and lovely. Let me ask u? If it is the other way round, would u have done what your husband did?. Marriage is also for women ot for girls. The same Bible you quoted says that a wise woman builds her home. notice, a wise woman,
not a wise man.

Imagine me building a house for a man that cannot understand when his pregnant wife complains about his perfume. Or someone that’s complaining about shopping and sweeping, when he has a pregnant wife. I bless God I didn’t marry a Nigerian man, it’s clearly hit or miss!

Realgeo:
Came across this so I decided to share. It reminds me why our world is still like this!!! Selfishness of the highest order. Typical African woman!!!

Just shows the kind of women you attract.

JanegirlN:
Thank you for your response.

I have currently a degree in Geology.
As regards the retail job, will a walk in be better? Been looking through and applying online. Nothing yet.

Do you have a M&S retail shop or Tesco around you? Just go to their websites, find the closes ones around you and see if there are temporary jobs or part time jobs or Christmas casual. You can try Royal Mail casual too (google reed online Royal Mail Christmas casual). There are lots of Christmas casual jobs going on at the moment, so you should find some on indeed as well.

When you get a job, you can then start plotting what to use your geology for. To do this, google what careers geologists go to. Check for companies that employ Geologists, and look at the job spec to see what you can do to get to that level.

sgtponzihater1:
I am heading to Tesco to get Tomatoes and a bag of rice. I will do that and tomorrow back to the ED. I still have to sweep my house today because my wife is too pregnant to sweep, yet someone comes to call me a bad man.

Just imagine!

You’re comparing sweeping the house and shopping to carrying another human being. This is why I’m sticking to my perception of you. As if when you’re living alone, you won’t sweep and shop for yourself.

justwise:
Yea well done!! So how about sending that money to both families? If this marriage ends she will be responsible for all the bills.

Well they are both professionals- They go dey alright. She loses her free house; he loses his free food/chores and still pays all the bills.

Na the pikin I pity.

sgtponzihater1:
Quote where I ever mentioned 50-50. I have nothing to proof to you. A lady who hasn't been to the market for 3months would be buying foods stuff. I go to the market because she can't bear carrying weight and I use my money too to buy the stuff. I can show screen grab of she asking me to buy one thing or the other when I am on my way back. And not once have I objected. Every single month despite my complaints, I have bought gifts when I am paid for her. I haven't gotten same.

I don't want a thank you but an acknowledgment that, "I know and seen that you are doing alot" but none of that at the moment.

Lagosismyhome I have gotten your mail and would send a message shortly

Look she’s clearly mad at you. Try and find out why. Then discuss and re-plan how you’ll do your finances together. If she’s not entertaining, you can decide to live away from each other and see if absence will make your hearts fonder.

Realgeo:
The True Meaning of Marriage

When we think of marriage, the first thing that comes to mind is having a lasting relationship. Marriage is a commitment of two people to one another and to each other?s family, bonded by holy matrimony. When a couple decides to marry, they are dedicating their life to each other. Thats the circle of life--our natural instinct to live and produce children and have those children demonstrate good morals.un
why then two people get married and vow to be together for richer and poorer, better or worse, decide to just forget about that commitment?
There are women out there who single handedly cater for their families without any contributions from the so called husbands and yet they do it with joy. Love is the most important force in this world, not selfishness. author=Aphrodite007 post=84110924]

And that is exactly my point. A man that can’t sacrifice and spray perfume outside to not irritate his pregnant wife who has no control of her hormones is definitely not a man that cares. She is probably fed up as well and wants a way out as well. They both clearly don’t love each other anymore. They should split up and he should find someone that will cook clean and carry a baby. While she should find a good man that would treat her so well that she will even contribute 70% of the bills happily.

Baba, let me shock you.

I earn 4 times what my husband earns. And I pay the most for bills (he doesn’t know this) and spoil the man silly. Do you know why?

When I wasn’t earning, he was there for me. When I earned less than him, he told me to keep saving my money to pay for my bro’s tuition. When I started earning equal to him, I insisted on paying at least 30% (God forbid I let a good man suffer). And now I earn so much more, I had to fight with him so he would agree for 50%. He said I shouldn’t ever pay more. In his words, “if I wasn’t married to you, won’t I have a house and bills to pay?”

So now, I sneakishly pay some bills without him knowing, pay for vacays and lie that I got a deal, and gifts.

If he is kind to her, I doubt she will be this way. Him not understanding how his snoring and perfume would affect her, kind of tells me the kind of man he is. If he shows her love and she is refusing, then that’s a different story. But all I’ve seen is a man that isnt kind to his wife but expecting the most from her.

justwise:
I bet you..you and your family will hate his wife, she will be accused of using juju to turn your brother against his own family while his wife helps her family.

You can not watch your husband struggling financially while you stalk-up your bank account with no sign of concern.

Yes she is pregnant but while in the kitchen preparing her own food for work why not consider the husband?

What is wrong with having some appreciative attitude? He is the best husband when he is paying for everything but the moment he asked her to help..suddenly he is a useless husband who doesn't care about his wife.

1) she is not stacking her bank account to buy Gucci, she’s doing so to spend on her family. So she’s leaning on her husband and also sacrificing the good things in life to take care of her family (which I think is commendable)

2) yes she cooked her food but not her husband. Does that sound like a normal behaviour? Has it occurred to you that she’s probably reacting to something he might have said to her last night? His story is one sided.

3) appreciative attitude. Lol, how do you know she isn’t appreciative in some other way? Did you ask her? Oh right, you’re basing your assumptions of her attitude on a story from someone else.

4) i think he doesn’t care about her because he mentioned all the things that I would expect a man to cope with then his woman is pregnant. For starters, for a man that believes in 50-50, chores are meant to be 50-50 too.

5) I do pity him asking her to help and she refusing. It shows that she doesn’t care for him. Now rather than assume she is mean, ask yourself, why would a woman not care for her husband anymore that she’s seeing him drowning and has refused to help him?

sgtponzihater1:
Thanks for judging. A 30% ratio that was even blatantly refused. Don't sell an impression you know nothing about. I will stay in there for my son or daughter, because they need to see and know the truth, and I need to teach them to look on to the future without judging the efforts of others. If fending for myself for over 12weeks for a women in her 2nd trimester is being wicked then I pray God teaches me. Cheers

Guy, I didn’t judge you based on what I didn’t know. I judged you based on what you told us. You said you’re the one that mentioned the perfume problem, 50-50 problem, snoring problem, not cooking for you problem.. and all that showed me a man that isn’t matured/kind enough to understand what his wife is going through.

The only time I was close to a pregnant woman, I almost swore I would never get pregnant because I could see all the pains she was in. Talk less of if I was now the one that got her pregnant, I won’t even let her walk without me holding her. And she’s a nurse fa, do you know what nurses go through?

You’re talking about bills, let me tell you: if you treat that woman right, she will spoil you. You’ve probably done something to her that’s made her hate you. And with your sense of entitlement, I can only imagine why she’s mad at you.

That being said, you are truly depressed and I am worried about your mental health, however, I believe this is your own doing. Yes I was harsh to you, I apologise- I was just so mad at how you’ve been treating a pregnant woman.

justwise:
If Sgtponzihater1 was your brother living the UK while you are in Nigeria schooling and he fails to send money for your fees because he spent all his money on his family here while the wife look after her family in Nigeria will you be happy?

First of, why would I know the reason that my brother is not sending me money? That is his family to which is is first responsible for, before me. So unless he tells me that it’s because of his wife (which is bad for a man to do), I wouldn’t know, I’ll just see my brother as not being buoyant enough to care for me.

Secondly, I’m not supporting what she’s doing (fully), but I’m not going to judge on that because he is accusing her of not supporting the home which I honestly doubt. She must be providing food stuff and other little things.

Finally, haven’t you heard the saying that daughters always take care of their fathers and mothers, while sons take care of their wives? It’s nothing new.

When I wasn’t working, the little money that my husband gave me, I would send half to my sibs (who didn’t need it o cos their parents are rich enough to take care of them). Did my husband complain? Right now, I earn so much more and I pamper his family die.

At the end of the day, it’s love. Their love has expired.

LagosismyHome:
There always two side of every story but some couple get to a stage where it's all about showing each other pepper so each party has it's own version

That been said UK is not easy, you are here by yourself in a somewhat isolating situation. The best way is for each party to strive to be caring and loving to each other and it works both ways ..... caring means not counting scores of who has done what but equally pulling their weight in finances and in the household generally

Once you can establish a foundation of care and friendship between both then marriage is easy and is peaceful .

And that is exactly my point. A man that can’t sacrifice and spray perfume outside to not irritate his pregnant wife who has no control of her hormones is definitely not a man that cares. She is probably fed up as well and wants a way out as well. They both clearly don’t love each other anymore. They should split up and he should find someone that will cook clean and carry a baby. While she should find a good man that would treat her so well that she will even contribute 70% of the bills happily.

claremont:
On a positive note, it's election season. I got into this country on the back of immigration policies by a Labour government. I studied, graduated and worked my socks off based on the liberal immigration policies of a Labour government. I'm Labour through and through, and a hardcore Corbynite. If we want free university tuition for our kids, free and quality healthcare (including dental), cost-effective utilities etc. The UK is the fifth largest economy in the world, we can afford these basic necessities.

Vote Labour!

Lol. Labour that believes in socialism? God forbid. I cannot work hard for somebody to carry my money and give another person that isn’t even bothered to try and get a job. Because one day, me too, I will decide not to work so that another Mugu can pay my bills. I just started my own business and all I see is the govt charging me almost 40% of my income? Why? na me kill Jesus?.. then I’ll vote in a team that says they will charge companies more? Hahaha

Lexusgs430:
A bumbling Boris........

Lol my husband will hate you. He keeps calling me a tori

JanegirlN:
Hello everyone!

So just recently moved in few weeks ago to be with my husband. It's been good and I'm adjusting perfectly.

Thing is I need a job. I'm not into the medical line and my hubby doesn't want me doing care work says it's career dead which I agree with.

Kindly assist with recommendation as regards something more"career friendly". Though I'm looking into volunteering too to like familiarise with UK work system.

Any advice?

You can try working in retail while you’re sorting yourself out. It will help you to understand their money, culture and ways of communication. It’s Christmas season so there will be a lot of shop jobs going around. While you’re there you can consider doing professional courses for a particular job you like. Do you have a degree? What is it in?

LagosismyHome:
well it obvious both parties dont care for each other ......... Despite been pregnant , if she making for herself , if she really care she will make a pack for him as well . Has nothing to do with Low Mentality

however maybe something happened in the early part of the marriage that made her stop caring and switch off mentally

I know something happened and I can sense it’s him trying to force her to be a house wife, working wife and mother all at once! I won’t make breakfast for a man that won’t take care of me when I need him the most.

[quote author=Realgeo post=84098232][/quote]Please I will condemn. Very well.

A man that expects his pregnant wife to cook for him. Then work. Then pay half of everything is a wicked man.

Marriages where the man is paying for everything, the woman does all the house stuff and raises the kids.

When the woman and woman are working, they can decide to split chores and expenses on ratio of salary.

When she’s pregnant carrying your child, you should take care of that woman because she’s going through a lot and her life is about to be turned upside down, when that baby comes.

justwise:
Aphrodite007.? It goes both ways! Nobody marries a teddy bear any more, if you don't help or appreciate your husband then get ready to be on your own.

I can't imagine marrying a wife who will not contribute financially here in the U.K even when we both work and earn almost the same?

There is a reason why men generally die before their wives ...

I understand. But you are hearing it from one side. There’s no how she’s not paying for food at home. I feel he is reducing what she’s paying for. Is your wife doing 50-50 with you? I’m sure it’s skewed somehow, even if she earned the same with you.

Also. You justwise. Do you just sit down and expect her to do everything, then expect her to work and still pay 50%.. haba? Is that not wickedness? And she’s pregnant on top!

sgtponzihater1:
[b][/b]

Every single morning when the pregnant lady is going to work she ensures she arranges a food pack to she won't starve, despite the rigors of pregnancy. However when she is not working and know I have to go to work, she doesn't feel any need to wake up and prepare something for me. But despite being pregnant, she has never gone to work to work without a meal.

Father Lord
I decree and declare, that no man with such a mentality should ever set eyes on my sister, friends or unborn daughters in the Name of Jesus!

I rebuke any man, that thinks with such a low mentality! Holy Ghost fire! Holy Ghost fire!

You that is mean to be making breakfast for her.. God forbid bad thing! Poor woman!

dustydee:
Except she is only his dependent because she wants to. She can get a tier 2 visa on her own but probably chose to be tied to him.

Good for her then. They should divorce then she should apply for her own. It’s just 6 months she’s losing, it’s not much. I can’t imagine what she has to go through being married to a man like that.

Man that is meant to be pampering me (pregnant or not) is expecting me to... mschew let me not be angry this night. Not worth it!

sgtponzihater1:
Said she want to help all her siblings first. Her brothers need to relocate too. Already helping her brother to do MSC here. I don't have up to 800 pounds save despite working for months and we are in London

Ok. Fine. Maybe you’re not so bad after all. But this is just one side of the story. You can’t tell me she doesn’t contribute to buy food for the house.

My dad owned the house, car and paid all our fees + shopping while my mum contributed in her little ways with food stuff and sometimes, she didn’t contribute because she paid for her 5 siblings to go to uni. My dad never said he was going to withdraw his support. HE IS A MAN and did the right thing for his children and family. If you can’t afford the rent in that house, move to a smaller one or house share. But you can’t tell me that if your wife wasn’t working you wouldn’t have been able to take care of a family!

sgtponzihater1:
Hard times for me. You will never understand. I can't imagine. Cooking for myself, paying the rent, throwing the garbage away, leaving in the living room, using perfume outside the house because a pregnant woman claims she reacts to perfume. If that happens in pregnancy, what will happen during the nursing stage. I can't deal. Our income are not so different sadly

Hmm I feel like I should take my words back. Hold on one sec.perfume can actually be irritating to pregnant women. A good man should understand this and be happy to spray it outside.

Cooking for yourself? I don’t understand- is she a good machine? Did they burn your hand? That woman is carrying a child and you still expect her to do all the chores, what is she, your slave?

Taking the bins out? Ogbeni haba! She works o- And you expect her to do all this? Your entitlement reeks! My husband washes the plates at home. I’ve never touched bins in my life. Indian food, he stopped eating it cos I don’t like the smell.

Look at me think she was the problem. You clearly are. You’re a wicked man!