₦airaland Forum

These are Asians though (the lady looks like she's from Southeast Asia). Not every one who isn't black is white. There are at least 4 different racial colours.

That said, it's only the woman that is 'sitting dangerously' not the couple.

I don't understand. Hasn't Boko Haram been 'technically defeated' by your government?

She doesn't look sad. She looks defiant with some anger underneath.

lyndaway:
What led to her asking her ex for assistance? bro there is something wrong with your relationship already but if you love her so much has you claim I advise that you stop it and try to met up to your responsibility

which responsibility? Don't go and look for work, be expecting guys to give you free money because you are a woman.

iamadonis2:
Bro, this shiiiiit messes with my mind. One said thing that happens is this: Most times when he gives her cash, I find myself competing unconsciously to double or triple the said sum.

It's a bad habit. And I cannot continue doing that to my pocket and mind

yup. Spot on! You are being manipulated by your woman.

She tells you about it because it would make you want to compete, to her advantage. It is also for this reason many ladies compare their guys to exes, it hurts his ego and he strives to 'win', thus sealing his fate as her slave.

Bro go and read 'The Manipulated Man' and set yourself free.

Sirfemi:
this one does not even see cheating as wrong ....your own is that she did it on her bed....I pity your husband

women don't see cheating as wrong, unless they are on the receiving end (same with other vices like physical abuse). Then even the ones with backup partners would start asking "why do men cheat?"

Henryneo:
watch the video.. i'm sure you'll find all that info in the video.

you just want more views jor.

Riele:
You don't know me dear.

Don't use me as a case study.

Besides , the women are cute

you probably mean naija ladies' have cute masks (makeup). If you ladies cut your hair like men and did no makeup, you'd look in mirror and throw up.

Ugly ass creatures who recognize they are ugly and try to hide it under layers of paint.

Women sef. A band of hypocrites abusing a fellow woman just because they can.

64mp? Damn. If it's dual sim and supports band 28, I'm getting it.

sassysure:
So because his family opposed his marriage, he is behaving like a spoilt boy?
Open a thread here on this topic, u will see that half of the married couple here didn't find it funny at the beginning especially the women but they readily are willing to make that sacrifice and win them over. Once u win them over, what again is your problem.
Unless there is another problem, this doesn't stand.
The family is good with the wife.

Why are u guys manufacturing problems where it doesn't exist?
Look for another reason but this doesn't hold. As long as they have apologised and is in good terms with the wife, case closed.
U guys are very hypocritical.
It's here I read where a mother in law is so wicked to daughter in law yet she will be told to bear it and that the man should love his mum more than his wife.
So many threads on this. Yet this man has refused to liaise with his mum.
Now we all are suddenly on his side. Since when did nairaland men start recognising that a man is one with his wife and not his parents and siblings? All of a sudden we all care about the wife.
Hypocrites.

if he has a reason he isn't cool with his mom and siblings, you can be sure it is a serious reason. The OP wouldn't admit it because his thread is meant to be a sob story that paints him and the other siblings as the victims.

You know the family is good with his wife because the OP said so? Isn't it the same OP that said the wife doesn't cook when he comes around? Isn't it the same OP that said his brother gives him money for food, and later turned around to say he has has his own money and has10 persons on his payroll?

The OP is an unreliable narrator, trying hard to minimize the headache they have caused their brother, along with the help he has rendered over the years.

Keep your "a man should love his mum more than his wife" story for those who say it. I don't say that crap. I also don't kick people where it hurts and expect them to pretend it never happened just because we are family.

They broke the bridge years ago with their actions, they should take the initiative to rebuild it themselves instead of pretending all is well and he's the one with the problem.

If I want to get married and you oppose, saying all sort of things about how the woman is evil and would ruin me and I'd regret it but I still marry her, I'd assume you don't like my new family and are waiting for a misfortune so you can say 'you told me so'. I'd strive to protect my new family from the undeserved hate, even if it means severing some old (and toxic) ties.

Farmafric:
I have a similar experience as that brother. I have bought four vehicles for my siblings, helped all of them in one way or the other in their businesses and even used several millions to build a family house. Placed my parents on monthly allowances and meet all possible needs of both in laws and immediate and extended family as much as I can but what did I get in return... You will be surprised! Hatred! Gossip! Evil insinuations, entitlement, and envy. Same attitude like OP, they feel I help outsiders but not them. I still spent millions on scholarships, etc but my younger brothers will not even respond to my greetings. Yes, I will greet them first if we meet but they will ignore me. One of them feel I should have made him a manager in my company another felt there is no reason why he should suffer when he has someone like me. Even classmates, friends, far relations all have similar entitlement mentality and they don't care if you have or not. My advice is simple, don't give in to pressure of people who thinks think they have right over your life. If you have any misfortune they are the first to laugh and make mockery of you. Plan for your immediate family and invest for retirement and nuclear family. Do the much you can for loved ones and leave the rest to God.

I wish I could like this a hundred times.

rawitools:
yeah God gives u people u call brothers and sisters too no excuse rubbish.in other words no woman should come between u and your blood.

God's word, the Bible, says a man would LEAVE his father and his mother and STICK to his wife, and they would become ONE FLESH.

So it's actually the other way round. No one should come between you and your wife. Both of you are ONE flesh.

The only literal example of one flesh among humans is Siamese twins. Imagine twins joined (for example, at the stomach or head) - if one dies, the other cannot survive. That's how close your marriage mate should be.

Creamcustard:
@johnmba

I noticed you said the change started once he got married 15 years ago and also went on to slate the wife's background.

Are you trying to blame his wife for the change in behaviour?

You all rejected and criticised someone he loves and he stood up for her.Some men do not tolerate things like that and your brother is clearly one of them.They have been married for 15 years ,hopefully happily which shows he probably made the right decision for himself.

You cannot seek a relationship with him without mending fences with her.

One of the reasons why he is not associating with you is the treatment meted out to her by you all if i'm to go by what you wrote.Perhaps you should start from there and eat the humble pie.

He does not even associate with his own parents, even his mother..what did you guys do to him/his wife that caused him to dissociate to this extent? It can't be as simple as you painted it.

Some people once they turn their backs on you, depending on their grievances would never ever reconsider, sadly that is how life is.

chai! Stop reading my thoughts!

Creamcustard:
@OP
It is shocking how you have downplayed the huge contribution your brother has made to your lives.He is your sibling and not your parent and yet he was paying fees, giving money for business and he even gave a car.You even said he did not deprive himself of anything to make these sacrifices.No wonder he avoids all of you.

You are saying no one is asking for money or anything but your posts are saying otherwise: 1. you have mentioned that people wonder why your brother works in shell and you an engineer in a hospital
2. You have said your elder brother is not moving. 3. He wanted to marry and did not receive any support from your family but got criticism on top of it.

Let's not kid ourselves here, once he let's you all in, the requests will start piling in.

It is extremely off putting and creates strains in relationships.

Maybe your brother cut you all off so he and his nuclear family can progress, i imagine if he kept carrying you all, he would be stuck catering to you forever and depriving his family of the kind of lifestyle appropriate.

The fact that he would rather render assistance to strangers than to you all speaks volumes and reinforces the fact that he must see you all as life draining and toxic to his well being.

Fortunately, relationships cannot be forced. Pour your energy into making yourself rich too and focus on your own family.

thank you! Couldn't have put it any better.

rawitools:
u dey mad. If they did not stand by him na he still dey alive. What happened to growing up days when dey fend for each other.

God is the one that gives life and sustains it.

What's the relationship between 'standing by him when he wanted to get married' and 'being alive' though?

sassysure:
Lots of family members don't normally accept the woman thwir brother or son presented to them initially. Some shows open hostility, animosity etc but thatdoes not stop the man from relating with his family members.
The guy has his reason but it's not because they rejected his wife in the beginning.
The wife is friendly with them now.
He even abandoned his mum.

He should be happy they are more than 2.
Others should relate well with the wife and children.
A time wiĺl come when his kids will ask him pressing questions about his family.

He is cold hearted. U can still be a brother without giving.

One day, may be when it's too late, he will look back and see how much he missed.

he isn't missing anything. What is family if they cannot respect your choice of a mate and give you support? You cannot slap someone and dictate how they should feel about it or how they should react to it.

You weren't there when they were opposing; you don't know what they said or did; don't play the judge.

If you oppose my marriage, you better not come back and start forming family when the woman you called evil is helping me succeed in life.

You didn't stand by him when he was going to get married, when he needed family support. You let him down because of your personal bias. Now that he is successful, you want to reap where you did not sow. Rubbish.

I hope God gives him the power to protect his wife and kids from the vultures.

Some guys are just stupid.

Most of these girls aren't worth the stress, mostly broke parasites with smaller brains who are obsessed about looks and makeup. Yet guys would be killing themselves to hook up with them.

Girls that after you fvck, you realize how empty they are.

Story. I can bet that wasn't the reason he broke up with you. Might be related (maybe how you responded to him telling you he doesn't like it), but it's likely not simply because you cut your hair.

Ladies would twist any tale to portray themselves as innocent victims.

It's because you are too gentle and she thinks she can get away with anything. Here are a few options.

1) The next time she tries to start a fight and the kids aren't around, lock the door and give her the beating of her life. Then, without petting her, Bleep her like some rag doll... Rough. Then tell her that she belongs to you and she has to behave herself. Her attitude towards you would be more respectful after that. Either that or she might murder you in your sleep.

2) Take your kids to stay with a relative, then tell your wife to follow you to visit her parents (if they are still alive). Tell her you guys would stay a bit, so she should take clothes. Also pack yours. When you get there, tell them what she does and how it is no longer safe for her to remain in your house. Leave her there and tell her not to return unless she is ready to behave.

3) Give her divorce papers.

4) Keep crying like an emasculated man while your slave master you call 'wife' manipulates you with every trick in the book.

Same thing I tell men whose wives (and even female strangers) hit them and they look on stupidly because "you must not hit a woman no matter what."

Borrow a leaf from this story. If she strikes you first, give her double portion to calm her down. After all, if she was more powerful than you, she wouldn't hesitate to beat you up when provoked.

Op how did this story end? Did you get married? Was it in February or April?

EmptyCoconutHead:
having numerous varsities doesn't change the fact that Edos are dumb especially the majority tribe there.
If u check well, majority of students studying in those varsities are from neighbouring Delta, Kogi, Ondo and Anambra.
We all know what the Edos engage in

senseless comment as usual.

Willdone5406:
... the person that can type this comment must have a brain tumour and that what killed his father and mother now it has affected him. RIP TO YOU IN ADVANCE

this one also professes to be a Christian o.

Wishing a brain tumor and death on another person for daring to think differently is what control-obsessed monsters do. Is that how Jesus would have responded?

Alright. Now go ahead and tell Buhari.

Mariangeles:
Rich clubs don't owe period!

you love your ignorance, don't you? Rich clubs like large business corporations and wealthy nations are also some of the biggest debtors (eg Man Utd).

Go check out the list of richest clubs and those with the biggest debt. Also check out the debt profile of some of the wealthiest nations (including USA).

Mariangeles:
So, their broke ass bought a player on credit ?
Wonders shall never cease...
It still baffles me is how Barcelona is not one of the richest clubs, despite all the hypes

na your ignorance dey baffle you jare. Name the 5 richest clubs you know.

Sounds suspicious if true. SARS are the real robbers and ritualists.

Xclusiveme:
I don't why impeachment is so hard for Nigerians. Buhari is not physically and mentally fit to rule and that's why we suffer. We need someone who understands the people and share enlightment.

who is going to impeach him? The legislators pleased with their N5bn SUV budget allocation? What's more, the executive currently has a choke-hold on the other arms of the federal government.

Evidence suggests that Nigeria is not ready for a leader that has sense. Doesn't look like the next generation would be ready either.

The exterior is ugly, like those ugly g-wagon. Maybe the interior is nice.

Story. We don't generate enough electricity in Nigeria for massive industrialization. Our steel companies are somewhat dead too.