₦airaland Forum

tRoOE:
I like my man spending dough on me and I will surely do the same for him
My wedding got to be big since am the first daughter , and all wedding that takes place in my family are also big and my party has to top anyone that got married before me.

That's my day and i want everything my way

Money talks

Sorry to hear this .

This sadly is one of the rare side effects of the OCP which is what that drug is .

Yes its used to prevent pregnancy and it also supress menstruation.

However, reading thru I cannot see it more dangerous then the usual ocp and its lower hormone level might actually make it safer as oestrogen levels is the cause in the pill.

Nevertheless it does not make it less tragic

Well if you watch too many nollywood movies then yes you will not want your in-laws to stay with you.

But if you get to know and talk with your in-laws majority of the time you wil find them easy to get along with and they will respect your privacy as much as possible.

Afterall your bedroom is your own and if i had a child married i be happy if they are constantly at it at night .I want grandchild !

®~^Sly^~®:
It depends. . .

If u have the money to do it big. . then whats stoppin u

But if u don't have what it takes to do it in a ''flamboyant'' way, Then stay on your class and do it the way u can afford

Just Make sure u don't run into debt at the end of the day. . .

What if the person who does not want big lavish wedding has the money but does not want to "waste" it on such a grand scale but other party wants it big?

Why igbo man?

Make the guy no run when you tell am the bride price!

stillwater:
Marriage is a bed of roses

Wait till thorns prick you and then make you tell me about your lockjaw.

creamkele:
What do u Nairalanders think about this young ladies of today, getting married to a picture or their fiance's brother in place of their so called husband to be, all in the name that their husbands are in overseas. I heard the Catholic church are planning on stoping such situations.

I never heard of a church wedding that permits this in Nigeria though we have all sort of churches nowadays

Usually this is done in introduction and traditional weddings.While its not ideal I cannot see the harm if its impossible for the other person to be there.

You still need to be there for the registry or church wedding unless you are going to decieve the one doing the ceremony.

It can be a case that one person has no visa to return and is stuck abroad and the other can travel freely.So it makes sense to get the part that needs Nigeria - intro and traditional without one and do the church/registry abroad.

I think before we rush and judge them you should know the reason behind it.I have been to at least 2 traditional weddings this happened and I really did not think it a big deal considering the alternatives.If one person can not come for a few years back ,it would mean they will get married in church there and have children and not have done something which is important to our culture the traditional and might even have family look at them like not married in their eyes!

gentleaura:
As for me, I am not getting married if its going to be a moderate wedding!!

Pay for it then you can have it.Not even the person you are marrying can stop you from doing it.

Just make sure once you are married you are not moving into a 1 bedroom flat because you spent it all on a wedding rather then provide a better place for your new wife.

ronkybaby:
Weddings are getting more and more expensive these days. Now that i have been told that the bride's family is responsible to pay for the ceremony - i have kind of spoken to maself regarding the wedding issue and how much am willing to spend.

It is not  a matter of who pays for it.Though, that said I agree with many who say who wants the big wedding should fit the bill simple and short.

The people who say its once in a lifetime forget that divorce is rampant and even at that why would you switch a small classy wedding for a lavish wedding  when the result is the same?

The extra money can buy you a small plot of land or a holiday outside the usual Nigeria/Ghana route.

Strangely, I noticed those with small weddings mostly seems to go somewhere outside the Nigeria/Ghana such as south Africa or europe for their honeymoon.

No they did not.Technology nowadays has shown so many numerous flaws in the pictures from the moon.

What you get in UK ,USA or anywhere in europe is this.A decent standard of living .

A Nigerian earning 200k a month would spent a fortune on simple things like food.Go check price of food in this countries and then Nigeria not counting of course food only grown back home like yam.

You have security and a peace of mind.constant light and if you are ready to work hard you can actually do some courses and get a better job then washing toilets .

Also job security in Nigeria is only safe mainly in government jobs which rarely even offer a great salary.

But lets also face it ,most people abroad have their own lives and would discourage people coming simply because they are tired of having people constantly coming in to live with them for 1 year then before they can rest a new person arrives.

Ask him.Why are you still calling ?You know its over?

Some people no hear word.

Until you jam girl who don hear this 1 million times then she go laugh well.

Best toasting lines is talking to the person without all the sweet talk and when you occasionally say it they know you mean it.

ah thank god for a minute i think you say Lice i want to meet you.

Ha ba i come think who dey find pubic Lice for here.

Na wa .

Make you cool it

Shortcut to comfort.Very simple answer.

But after a time they realise that money does not always bring [/b]HAPPINESS[b]

A vast majority of families anywhere in this Earth will not want their daughter to sleep overnight.

You go marry am?

Most parents accept their child is having sex but which responsible parent will want to encourage that?

If you want to sleep overnight with your man then tell a lie .But this is almost asking for parent's blessing to have sex outside marriage .

Everyone has their style.

It depends on your character,

I usually approach a girl in a friendly way but offer no evidence I want to date.Then after we get to know each more I pop the question about going out.

omena555:
very correct!
at times it really has to do with the parents and family members. some parents just want to show off to their club and meeting members that what others can do, they can do even better. how sad. low thinking indeed!

Exactly.You will be suprised how often a woman does not want this espically if the man does not want it neither.But family/friend pressure is strong .

"My first child not have a huge wedding!" is a common thing to hear.

Ok if you like your child so much go lay foundation for house or buy am better car instead.

Then again some families would accept any decision but the girl/guy is the one who wants it.

Ha ba

@poster na u who don wowo

A Husband who begs?

That is the lowest form next to politicans and armed robbers

Make I chop sand first then beg.

omena555:
well it really depends on the parties involved. if they want a big wedding and they can afford it, good for them.
but personally i prefer a small or moderate wedding. to me, the state of the marriage union after the wedding day is what should be uppermost in our minds. besides, i don't like big ceremonies. _{whats the point of feeding all the people in my city anyway} we should have enough money to live life after the wedding, so our resources should be geared towards that, not some show of wealth. after the wedding ceremony, all the invitees u wanted to show off to _{even if u succeed in doing that}, go to their respective homes and waits for the next wedding they are to attend. u guys will be on your own oh

títô.

Next week its another wedding and this time maybe the rice will be less burnt.No one remembers apart from very close friends and family who will come to a small wedding anyhow.

If you imagine all the money ,sweat and time kept into that day and it was kept into buying the couple one large gift from the families .Wow who go complain!

Ekwere:
I am really impressed with the contributions of ladies in the house,thumb up for u.
Many ladies have been left in the cold after the supposedly husband -to be had absconded to God-knows where simply because the lady in question wanted it so big not minding where the man got the money from.
A friend told me a story where the wife-to be in PH wanted her wedding gown from the best designer in Uk and so many stuffs like that, trust the man in question(a lawyer),he told the woman to contribute in buying the gown and when she is ready he will go ahead with the wedding.
The woman did not contribute anything to the wedding but wanted so many things because of the influence of the friends but at the end she succumbed to what the man wanted.
HOW ABOUT THAT?

Well clearly the man is a man .

In Nigeria, even if you do not want something there is huge huge influence and pressure that most people succumb .

Frankly, what the man did was totally right.He gave her a lesson in life.Many girls believe  that rubbing a man's thing is the key to getting it all .

That might hold true if they are used to dating politicans and chiefs and other less enlightened men.

It actually shocks them that nowadays a man can think beyond a prick rub .Such women are not the sort you want to marry who use sex as a weapon.

However, I am delighted to see there are many women willing to think beyond a big wedding .

I actually know a man who was engaged to a  girl from Nigeria who used sex as a weapon and kept the man under so much pressure leading to the wedding.

He used to drink a lot because of this and like few months to the wedding just lost it and cancelled it all and left the country.He is married to a Polish girl and has 2 kids and on a recent visit home refused to touch alcohol at all saying he is happy in life.

It is sad that a man who was so intrested in only marrying a Nigerian girl took this step.Had he met one of the ladies here , maybe he would have 4 kids by now and be smiling!

While this is written by the white man , considering how much of our culture is influenced by them it holds true.

This is about breaking an engagement and few extra pointers for Nigeria might be needed as our engagement is an introduction and involves other factors .

http://www.ehow.com/how_2073564_break-engagement.html?ref=fuel

But in general its not as hard as you might think.Nigerian girls have pride and will not want to look like she is "begging" in public.

If you gut tells you its wrong then its wrong.

Just be sure to know when to stop.
Its pointless having kid after kid just because you want a boy.
If your limit is 3 then after this stop regardless of the sex.

Even a nice car that will run for years is better.

Funny enough I think many ladies will actually prefer the money to start off life with and opt out of a big wedding for something small and classy.

Take pictures of weddings.The nicest ones are of the couple dressed smartly and smiling with family members.Not the canope filled with 1000 people.

But often its not the guy's or girl's choice on how they wants the wedding which is sad.

Seems he does not want to marry and just does not know how to say it .

Apart from the fact you would be in the spotlight with them i see nothing wrong.
Its pretend sex and there is no actually penetration going on.And even the kissing is as held back as possible.
Would you marry a doctor who has to finger women all day?

fntekim:
Na, cut your cloth according to your taste.
I want a very elaborate wedding.
Even if it means getting a bank loan.
You know how much a classy tux cost?

A classy tux is about 40,000 to 250,000