₦airaland Forum

I will treat them the same way I want to be treated

cdamsel: stop scamming me na

SCAM

cdamsel: went thru ur comments so I'm sure

You didn't look enough....

cdamsel: u skipped protocol also .
So me & u re alike,oya PM me ur own

Nah, I didn't.... shine your eyes well u will see ...

[quote author=$ugardaddy][b]It's been a couple of months now and normalcy has since been restored. However, every now and then, I find myself fighting this inner urge to deal ruthlessly with this recalcitrant brother-in-law of mine for his rudeness and sadly, I know it's only a matter of time before I succumb to this urge! [/b]Even though I cherish my home and would want to do anything to keep it for the sake of my innocent children, I will not succumb to abuses and insults from any in-law like in this case.

I therefore solicit advice from experienced couples on how best to handle this potentially explosive situation.[/quote]The forgive him advice is for the part highlighted. There is a difference between how do I resolve burning issues with my BIL and how do I deal with him.

Yes, it is not advisable to stomach what you can't get over but it does no good scheming on how to retaliate. The best bet you had was when the MIL and wife were begging, it would have been appropriate to mention your BIL's case, explaining how it didn't go well with you. The MIL would have done the needful in calling his son to order and you would have been healed from the hurt of nurturing a silent wound.

Since you didn't do it then, you have a right to call the guy and express your displeasure of his actions rather than scheming on how to deal with him. Forgiving someone doesn't mean the issue will not be raised, it only means it will be addressed using appropriate channel than seeking revenge.

cdamsel: wat page is urs,lemme read so I don't feel cheated

Template is in the opening page

cdamsel: Nobody wants 2 welcome me

Because you bridged protocol... Oya do the right thing, follow the template in the beginning page

Your BIL has forgotten he abused you and he is presently enjoying his life. You on the other hand is scheming on how to deal with him thereby creating chaos, pandemonium and restlessness for yourself.

Unforgivind heart breeds hatred and hatred eats deep into the mind like cancer. It affects health, reasoning and peace of mind. Find a place in your heart to forgive him and enjoy your life.. You will not gain anything flexing your muscle with him.

For your home to thrive in bliss, you need a forgiving heart, I want to assume (my opinion) its part of why the issue with your wife dragged too long before it ended.


In summary sir, learn to forgive people and if its hard for you to forgive, deal with issues as they come. Do not wait for months to start scheming. Its dangerous to your health.

^^^ Work on your self-esteem and let no one take advantage of you. People can only bully you if you allow them. Do not let whatever negativity anybody brings affect you. Nobody created you and no one has the right to look down on you except you allow them


It is well with you

[quote author=Mynd_44]What did I do? I was only saying what I am having na[/quote]For creating food panic here, you are banned till when ASUU calls of strike....

blessed indeed: In as much as i dont support cheating at all no matter the excuse cos to me is a sign of lack of respect to ur wife, selfish, immature, inconsiderate to the health of the entire family, breach of trust and being irresponsible.

however, the cheated wife should not forget that u dont fight fire with fire. Yes, you will definitely loose your cool when u find out at the initial time but never throw away the bath with the baby cos theres poo in the water. He has betray ur trust, set aside sentiment and look into his eyes and tell him how bitter u feel about it, dont grovel on the ground with tears but rather stand tall and let him know his wrong.

Still, find it necessary to take it up in PRAYER cos without God you can achieve nothing. pray ur husband out of cheating [/b]unless u dont want your home anymore. Remember a wise woman gathers her home but the foolish tears it apart with her own hand. [b]Apologise to ur hubby if he feels bad abt how u speak to him while within u, u know the message has been passed already, be patient with him while u keep praying him out of that cheating life hopefully u will bring him back to ur life am sure of that.

Be wise.

Could you please give me biblical references that turn a cheating husband to a tin god?

^^^^^ Why do you want to whet appetite this morning... Be careful...

Lashawn,

I have no other stuff to add than what you have been advised. One of the things I tell ladies is the moment a guy physically abuse you once, either intentionally or by mistake, cut-off the relationship and move on with your life.

Only the spirit of God deals with habits and character in people. He grew up as an abusive fellow, and there is high probability that it won't die hard in him. We may not be able to rule out the fact that he is changed as said by him but since you have no vital evidence to corroborate his story, the wise thing to do is to let him be part of your old story. There are good men out there who will make you happy till death do you part.

No matter your age, do not let it be the reason you want to marry, take your time, study the man and have a strong conviction about him before committing to any guy. Please, do not join ship with religious hypocrites, they are fair weather people who only believe in religion and have a form of godliness but deny the power thereof. Jesus in His earthly ministry never condemned medical science and there is a reason why God grant humans medical breakthroughs by the day.

Be patient and prayerful, do not fidget or get anxious about what will be tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Infact, you may meet the right guy when you least expected it. Marry only the person who will respect you and treat you right. Someone who is godly and cannot compromise his integrity for anything under the sun.

It is well with you

Good morning to you all... Believe we all had a beautiful nite and sound sleep.

Enjoy this Ebenezer Obey's classic for a Monday morning.. I am sorry if you do not understand "nigbati", all the same enjoy the beats....



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9_ArHyCrxE

An important lesson in life is never listen to the "noises" in the market. In essence, do not let opinions of others give you negative feelings about the way you choose to raise your children in as much as it is not detrimental to the child's well-being and moral upbringing.

Whatever is comfortable to you is the appropriate method to use. If backing is convenient, go ahead and if its the sling, no wahala... its all good. Do not be bothered about the sayings of onlookers... Just make sure that whatever you adopt is safe for the child and your health.

@Op,

If your Pastor understand Yoruba, please play this song for him on Sunday... The main message is "who actually is serving God"

Sang by one of the then good gospel musicians (Evangelist Niyi Adedokun)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sODmCvVixW0

Mrs mansson: Okay this is not a personal issue or a men bashing thread.No one is perfect and i believe everyone has a defective quality which differs from person to person.like i had a weakness for chocolates even when pregnant but hubby helped me through.i decided to create this thread [b]because of what my pastor in church said today.he was talking of different weaknesses of men and then really talked about cheating(sexually),he said when a man cheats on his wife,the duty of a wise woman is to take it as a weakness of her husband and take it to God in prayers.[/b]Now sincerly how many women can really accept cheating from your husband as a weakness.
In My own opinion if a full grown man who is very okay mentally and otherwise.wife is very ok too,no issue of over weight from the wife or not good in bed then decides to start having s-x with random girls,i wouldnt accept that as a weakness from him.to me is plain selfishness.
Let me hear from other ladies

If your pastor actually said the highlighted part in the affirmative, its high time you changed church.
What the hell are these people preaching nowadays... Its the duty of the wife to run after a man with no self-control? The pastor already making excuses for erring husbands. If I were a member of that church, I will surely put a searchlight on that pastor...

Chillisauce: Almost at my destination. Chat again on monday. Busy fighting in another thread. Have fun everyone.

Roforofo fight is not good on a day like this, better on a Monday because eko oni gba igbakugba lojo monday....

Celyt: @ RR, Bellong and CC; thanx for your prayers, i am doing every reasonable thing within my might to make it work(its nt been easy)!

This Ray Boltz's music (The anchor holds) has been an inspiration to me since I first heard it during my undergrad days.. It helped me when I felt the world was against me and there is no hope for me anymore and anywhere...

The Anchor always hold when the ship is battered.. Christ is the sure anchor.. Enjoy the music in the link below


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSAc5Z2lprk

Royal Roy: Serena all the way!

Can't miss it!

Sure, she is the favourite for the tournament. She has a target of meeting and beating 18 slams of Navratilova and Evert.

Of course, Azarenka needs extreme bit of luck to topple Serena today. Playing her in final is like playing with an hungry lion.

Roy,

Are on today for Serena and Azarenka?

Celyt: Hello Everyone; hope my own introduction isnt late?
Well, my username Celyt was cut out of my baptimal name though i never introduce myself to people by that name as it sounds local; lol!
I am from Anambra state; married but not to my friend(pls dont ask me why), Have two handsome sons; people tease me they re my dp facially.
My ideals for marriage and family are peaceful, forgiving, selfless, truthful,loving and faithful relationships.
Sadly i am caught up in a marriage a complete opposite of my ideals. Wished i discovered nairaland family section before i said i do(sorry to bore everyone with these),

CC(Madam) pls give me a little time(hope you still remember?)

Whatever it is you are experiencing in the union, I believe an end will surely come to the challenges and you will enjoy the marriage again.

There was a reason you said I do to him. There was something you saw in him to make a lifetime commitment with him. Look at the bright side and work on areas that need your attention.

May God help you and grant you peace in your home... It is well with you

In five years of your relationship with her, she never acted being older than you, where is your fear coming from?


Do you want to go about drumming your age difference with people? My brother, age is only in figures to apply our hearts to wisdom. If you like her and you are good with her person, let not age stop you.


You will not live with age but with the content of her character.

She probably has early and high secretion of female hormones.

There is nothing abnormal about it and does not warrant panic. You need not shave it. If you have not started before, this is the time you need to teach her se-x education and let her understand the workings of the female body.


You can get a book or search online for methods appropriate for her age. Educate her now before she learns the wrong way outside. Keep your cool and do not fret.. Teach her calmly and with no iota of fear.


God be with you and her.

Never knew there was a thread for F1, thanks to Biolabee....

chaircover: Errrrrrmmmm I thought this was a fun section . . NO FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!

Okay 2 can play that game o! . . . .ermmmm mothers in the house, I heard that if you put cabbage leaves in your bra when b/feeding it stops the B from getting engorged. How true is this. Lets discuss

Am interested in the bolded....

Royal Roy: Not all sir!!

Am not really down for "violent" sports!

Give me soccer, formula 1 & gimme female tennis!
Am good!

My favourite sports in their order Soccer, Tennis (male and female, not a fan of doubles), Formula 1, American football and Ice-hockey....

American football is a child's play compared to Rugby.. I used to love rugby till I found I may become addicted to violence

Roy,

Do you follow American football?

chaircover: Ha Ha! Its Autumn first now. I know it was colder yesterday and I havent stepped out today, but its not so bad

Look on the bright side . . . its Xmas soon.

plus the beauty of the leaves turning orange/yellow and dropping.

Yes,

if its this cold now, I wonder how cold it will be when the oga at the top arrives...

chaircover: whats that?

WINTER.....

The season I dread most is coming... Hope it won't be as terrible as 2011...

My mum had a special way of serving it chilled. Anytime we offend, she gives us a special delicacy that night to our satisfaction. In the middle of the night, she will wake the offender up and made sure you are well awake. She then start talking sense into your head, at the point you start feeling remorse about your action, she then bring out this special wire to whip the devil out of you.

I was always weary of her special delicacies at night because I knew what will follow in the midnight... Maximum shishi