₦airaland Forum

Daviva1,

My post may or will be long, please take time to digest and apply to your situation.

I am an ardent believer in the revelation of hidden and secret things, I also believe in praying and getting revelation about the person you want to marry. A direction and leading from God cannot be over-emphasized in marital journey. However, I believe strictly in doing it yourself. If you have faith enough to believe in Jesus, then you have access to the throne of grace and mercy to find help in the time of need. When it comes to relationship, whatever a pastor or any other brother will tell you, should be a confirmation of what you already know. I do not even support running to pastors for prayers about who to marry.

A lot of stuff can influence what your pastor and the other person saw. Your pastor knew you already have a child for the approved guy, that alone is enough to attach sentiments while praying. The fact that the family of the guy wants you will draw all inspirations to them. This doesn't mean that the pastor lied or thwarted revelation, its just the way it is for the spiritual. No time for public lecture on that.

If truly you want to be married and you are ready in all areas viz-a-viz, emotional, financial and maturity of heart, the best bet for you is to apply your five senses and spiritual sense. You can pray on your own for God to reveal hidden things to you. He will surely do because He has the interest of His people at heart. The last time I checked, God didn't have licensed prayer agents.

You have observed that one of the guys is emotionally abusive to you and deficient in his basic responsibilities as a father, how will such a man change tomorrow except he encounters a divine transformation. In most cases, people only improve on their present version of character and attitude. The other guy is what you believe is right for you considering your assessment. You know what you want from life and you know your dreams and visions for life. You alone know who fits into it.

Let me give you few tips of what to look out for in a godly man; What is his conviction about the faith? Does he esteem and uphold the truth at all times even if he is standing alone? Does he exhibit the fruit of the spirit? How does he treat people, is it with respect or with disdain especially those below him? Is he man of integrity? Is his yes a yes or his yes means something else? Does he live and practise what he profess? Does he treat you right and just? These and many more are what you consider in a man. Place emphasis more on strength of character and vision in a man rather on emotions that may be filled with lust and inconsequential reasons.

If you still want to pray about them, you can do it on your own now. Take time out to pray and if possible add fasting, ask God to teach you what to do in this situation. Be open and sincere with God in your prayers and you will receive the right direction. Please, do not pray with a pre-conceived intention about a particular person. It will only do more harm than goood.

Note, it is the man you will live with and not the family. If the family is the best on earth and the man is terrible, do not be entangled with such a man.

It is well with you

steph7: I am searching ...eeerm not sure.

Google map will be useful in your search, it can locate any hidden thing....

duffie: Please, Spill it out

Am letting the cat out of the bag.... The wedding was between him and his bed...

RR,

Don't disappear now.... we are waiting oh... All we are saying, show ya face

r231: can i have your old car now or i should wait till tomorrow evening

Me only need the cock-pit of the car..

duffie: Please, Spill it out

Na, its a joker.. reserving the best for the last

duffie: What wedding?

You want to know? I have photographic evidence oooo

RR,

U better roger before i open ya backside

r231: oh oh

GAME OVER

Not yet, just starting..

RR,

Do you want me to tell her of the secret wedding you did in Atlanta in January

janiebravo: [b]i think it is more of the "men will always cheat" fear [/b]especially in these days of our ladies having no qualms about running after someone else's man.

I'm a worrier by nature. But i am trying now to let go, do my part and trust God. I haven't felt this way in a long time, i really need to enjoy it.

Thank you.

Flush the bolded completely out of your system, please. Its a fallacy of generalization.

Read this blog for a start..

http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/relationship_jealousy.html

Pray that God help you deal with the issue.

vivianc: @Bellong; ah ah, what if i peep? Peeping only? I really need me some TLC jare.

Peeping may become addictive and the end result may not be palatable.... Its only for a short time, wait for it and be happy ever after

I was once in a danfo with only a space left for a passenger. Behold, an exceptionally gifted woman was coming to take the slot, the conductor shouted at the woman, "madam, enter the next empty bus, na only one space remain for here".... Everybody couldn't hold the laughter that followed. He embarrassed the poor woman...

^^^ The human contact requires patience and strong attention to details to prevent contagious disease.......

Wizee: well said Debrief08.. The way these country is going now, no way to relax or spend quality time with your loved ones,bcoz we are all after (chedders) a.k.a money.

Depends on what you want from life and family. It can only be difficult for people who believe money is everything. One thing I have learnt in life is contentment with whatever I have. Once I have food and basic needs, I am happy.

I left a well paid job for a lesser one and to a conducive environment. I did this because I don't want to end up becoming a visiting husband/dad. The old job will surely turn me into one.

I am happy raising a family that will not add problem to the society. Find time to bond with the family, money can only enhance comfort but it can't give peace especially when people do not know when to rest and relax..

I have been playing ludo for a long time yet I still cannot beat a female to it. I later gave up on ludo... Seems females came with ludo skills from heaven....

For WHOT, CARDS and board games, I have a special talent in that department

* Play scrabble, monopoly and general board games including "cashy"....

* Go on water adventure, board a cruise ship, ferry, canoe, ship or whatever is available and explore the sea... From Marina to Apapa...etc

* you can do minimini manimo, father has a donkey, donkey die father cry, minimini manimo..

* If there are kids, start an in-house tales by moonlight or I wanna tell you a story....

* Go on adventurous ride, enter the car and cruise around on weekends....

* Getaways occasionally...

^^^^ And what stopped you from posting it in a "white" forum? Seems you have never been engaged in a public discussion with a foreigner before...

The question you posted here would have met intense criticisms from your supposedly white forum considering the denigrating nature of your question...

Next time ask intelligent question.

Marriage does not solve infidelity and promiscuous problem, it will only worsen the situation. If he cannot deal with his sexual weakness, I am sorry marriage will only give him reasons to be more promiscuous.

In between, he is unfit emotionally, financially and immature to be thinking of marriage. Tell him to get a life.....

@Op,

From your description, seems your boy will be Soyinka and Achebe combined. Encourage him by developing his imaginative writing/story skills. He will become a very good writer. Get him some interesting children books to start reading. Yes, its not too early in as much as he can talk and listen.

Give him challenging exercises and problem solving exercises for children. You have a great gift in the boy. As advised, do not tolerate lies and other social vices from him.

May God be with him..

2buff: Please share some tactics about how you deal resolve differences with your wife when she vehemently acts in an annoying manner?

Fixed

temmythe: I'm not supprised cos as usual I know I will be judged. I've never in my entire life being to anywhere of worship other than a church. My best friend is a muslim and she felt d way she can assure or help is by consulting her alfa to pray for me. I also spoke to my mother-nlaw in village cos my hubby suggested it as she's an old woman and she might have knowledge or experienec of being pregnant without symptoms and d woman chose to do it her own way. Btw, I've never collected a concussion, soap or anything to sow a bad seed into my baby's life.
Anyways, tx for ur contributions

Madam,

I never judged you.. Is there anywhere in my post that I condemned you to perdition? I was only concerned about what you wrote in making enquiry from different sources. I know why I told you to desist from running from pillar to posts. I know the battles I have fought and still fighting because of the innocent but wrong actions of my parents during their days of ignorance.

If you are concerned about your pregnancy status, the best place to get professional help is still the hospital and not spirit medium. I understand your plight and I perfectly know how it can be but it should not push you to do what is not right. Yes, you can be pregnant without the medical equipment detecting it for some period of time. My brother-in-law's wife was still seeing her monthly 2-3 months after her pregnancy. The day her water broke, hospital already prepared incubator expecting the baby to be a premature. lo and behold, the baby was not and a further medical examination proved that her pregnancy completed 39 weeks.

Your case is not peculiar, you need to keep your mind at rest and enjoy the time. Anxiety and worry decrease chances of getting pregnant. Go back to the hospital when you think its the end of first trimester (three months) for ultra sound scan and other available tests.

It is well with you

Mrs, you are already creating a very bad foundation for the innocent unborn child. Running from native doctor to pastor to Alfa, what a seed of evil you are sowing.


As per your topic, I know its possible for people to be pregnant without symptoms. I have heard and seen testimonies of people who delivered but never knew they were pregnant. You may be part of those with no symptoms before delivery. I do not know the medical term for it, if there is any.

If you are indeed pregnant, please stop sowing seed of evil in the innocent baby's life.

@Vivian,


What a profile! You just passed the interview for a $2.7M per annum job. See my PA for the offer r

Do not give up on your dream of a law degree. I still believe I missed road being a scientist. I started a law degree in my final year in Ife, shuttling geology and law and Ife with Lasu...

Unfortunately I couldn't finish but I made up for it by marrying a lawyer


You can all cause trouble for town, I will take of it

^^^^ Beautiful.... @Op, please do as advised above. He passed through it before.

May God help you

You are far away from where I can possibly render help. However, are there no Nigerians in that area that can help you with accommodation temporarily? If you are a christian and do attend a church, you can discuss this challenge with the pastor of your church, I want to believe they can be of help to resolve your accommodation issues.

Whatever it is, know that the current challenge is only for a short time, it will soon pass. Do not give up hope, its one of those challenges we face in life on the path to greatness. It is a testimony that you have a bright future ahead. Do not give up, explore the church and environment options.

I know nothing about that part of the country, hence can't give a better suggestion.

Which school are you?

teniola55: Am 19 years of age,am seriously weighed down on this matter

Don't be weighed down. Stick to the advice of your dad, your mum is not leading you right in this direction.

Face your studies, develop vision and focus for life and work towards achieving the set objectives. Time will come later in life to start thinking of girls, the time is not now..

Your wife may be like my mum. she can give out her eyes for the blind though she is very poor but she is rich at heart. I grew up learning the act of giving from my mum and it is so fulfilling.

Your wife may have the gift of giving which there is nothing you can do to stop her if she is doing it for the right purpose. It is left for you to help her in finding a balance between giving on purpose and giving for giving sake.

Have a separate account for the running of the home and children's welfare. Reduce the money you give her to only necessity, when she doesn't have in excess with her, she will apply wisdom to her cheerful spirit.

Between, never ever let her lose the gracious gift of giving. It will be beneficial to you and your children in future.

Are you serious about what your mum said?


Listen to the voice of reasoning from your dad. Face your studies and be concerned about the future rather than wasting destiny sleeping with girls... Sex is only healthy in the context of marriage. You may not be able to handle the emotional weight and after effects of it.

Tell your mum she is giving you a destructive advice that you would rather listen to your dad than her. Discard that your mum's advice please.

You even mentioned they fight over it, how old are you? Ask your mum if you have any problem with the reproductive system while you were a child. Maybe she is scared you could be impotent but it is not enough reason to give you such a silly advice.

Google is very useful for this...

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Child_safety_at_home