₦airaland Forum

sholay2011: Hello. I'm a passive member of this section. I really like your views towards issues. God bless your home and more wisdom from above. Keep up the good work sir.

Thanks bro.. God bless you too.

karis23: After my introduction my inlaw came 2 my house 2 talk about were d church wedding would take place nd my dad told dem it would be in my church but my father in law was rude 2 my parents sayin dat he had givin my my parents enough consention,dat it was his right nd [b]my parent asked him 2 leave.[/b]now my father in law is insisting dat my father calls him 2 apologise or else d wedding would not take place.pls is it right 4 my dad 2 apologize 2 him cos he was rude 2 my parents

karis23: Re u sayin dat if smone come 2 ur house 2 ask 4 ur sista hand nd was rude 2 ur parents u would sit down nd take it cos D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ re inlaws nd even wen my parents re far older dan d guys parents nd besides D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ didn't walk him out like dat wat D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ said was he shuldnt come back if he was goin 2 dictate ​‎​​H̶̲̥̅̊W̶̲̥̅̊. He wants d marriage to take place

Well, it was you that said your dad told him to leave not me.... When next you narrate a story, do it well so people do not misinterprete your intention.

Though you still didn't answer your tribe and the cultural practices of both party so we have a balanced view. Between, if they can be rude to your parents, I fear for your sister oooo. Hope she has prayed very well about her intending husband? Going by the parents' action over venue of wedding, I wouldn't know if anger runs in the family.... You people should consider the union very well now that an opportunity presented itself.

I have no idea of the meaning of this song but it was one of those Igbo songs we used to enjoy the good old days...

Enjoy Oliver De Coque



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paVBwsCZfc0&list=PL30D0703A204AB246

For YPP's husband... Enjoy the music



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwOMSMTwVg4

There is more to what you have painted here. Before addressing where wedding should take place, I believe your dad should apologise to your father-in-law for walking him out. He should do it not because of the other guy's threat but because its the right thing to do. You don't walk out potential in-law out of your house like that over flimsy issue of where the wedding is taking place. Tell your dad to swallow his pride and apologize to the old man.

Venue for wedding depends on cultural practices of the people involved. for example, the church wedding is done at the bride's father's church for the Yoruba people. If you guys have cultural clash over the issue, its good you address it like adults and not kids fighting over an inconsequential stuff about where wedding should take place. If it is a cultural clash, its better you find balance on where appropriate and convenient to both families and invited guests.

I wish you and the family a successful resolution of this impasse. It is well with you.

aniffy4eva: Assumptions! Assumptions!! Assumptions!!!
Then again, this is the kind of stuff Nigerians love to gobble.

I rest my case.

I will not make assumptions if I have not seen such scenario happened before. Experience they say is the best teacher. It is not restricted to Nigerians alone, applies to foreigners. I can say that from experience.

My assumption and advice is my personal opinion, only giving her some of my opinion which I believe will be useful to her to prevent story that touch in future.

Evi Edna Ogholi...

uye, I wish you happy birthday....uuuuuuuye very very many happy returns....

Enjoy the oldies...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtrqUIxZ_AE&list=PL52526266C16296D9

aniffy4eva: This is precisely my point. Who determines the extent? I'm pretty impressed that she's very concerned about the image of the company and will not let her boss spoil it because of his "marital issues". The fact that she didn't mention anything about contacting the wife also shows that she isn't being meddlesome.

My main challenge with this thread, and largely the forum, is [b]that there seems to be an ideal that we expect everyone to ascribe to [/b]just because we do. About being conversant with this section, trust me, i've been around for a while... No be by number of posts o.

When in Rome, we behave like the Romans and when in Nigeria, we must behave like Nigerians... You cannot exclude cultural practices from people irrespective of race and gender.

Now, let's talk like Nigerians. The poster does not know what is going in the man's home and she doesn't even have an idea if the wife have been accusing her husband of infidelity. Someone who knows the woman sees the OP going to the salon with the husband, the wife's suspicion is thereby confirmed that the husband is cheating on him. Ordinarily, in any part of the world, how many single girls go with married man to salon in the name of helping out? I understand cultural practices of few countries I have read about, I know they do not take that as platonic relationship.
She can buy the man a shirt, that's not a big deal if it is a present on a different day. But for the man changing cloth and going back home in a different shirt, trust me, the wife will ask when he bought the shirt. Except he lies to her, no woman will take it lightly with you for receiving a shirt from a single girl in the office. There is no way you can defend it that nothing is going on, not even someone under suspicion.

The girl may be innocently putting herself in trouble for her extreme action. I do not support her outright condemnation for her attitude but she needs caution in her actions so as to save her face too. She cannot withstand the violence of an angry and hurtful housewife.

Thanking God on behalf of all the celebrants on Nairaland... Let's enjoy the commander....



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtRx3poQsCY

Royal Roy: Lolllz, poyoyos are far from the problem!!

@YPP...it wasn't hospital related, more to do with peace of mind. Yea, u right, twas babe related & has been settled. Just don't know why my system refused to tune back to normal after the trying & worrisome period!

You still have the residue of the thoughts left. There are still some other minor stuff getting your attention, you have been too anxious. You need to get over them and enjoy your life.

Whatever it is will not last forever... Learn to live by the day and cast all burdens upon HIM.. It is well with you bro

Happy Birthday to Stillwater and YPP's husband... Wishing them both many more fulfilled years in sound health, mind, wealth and serving the Lord..

Will be the DJ for the party... let's enjoy the music even if you don't understand the "nigbati" spoken.....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSvsAw1oFA8

Chanchit: So when the woman finally succeeds in killing him, the pastor would come and stand in abi..? Thats why its good to think very well before marrying, why would I go and marry someone that I'm not sure of winning every fight. Once the woman is built like a wrestler or weight lifter abi body builder, mhen its a no go area.

You didn't the sarcasm in the post. Since women are generally advised to endure their abusive husbands by prayer and fasting, why not advice the man to follow suit.....

Sometimes we need to look at the message and let the messenger be.

OP, you need to understand that there is a limit a third-party can interfere in a marriage. Your boss may be looking unkempt always and may not be connected to the wife's non-nonchalant or uncaring attitude. Except you have all the facts and details about his home can you make the deduction that his wife neglected him and left him to look like a dirty pig.

Does it happen everyday or its an occasional thing? If it is occasional, it is understandable and if it is a daily occurrence, it could be a reflection of the marriage or the man is dirty himself. There are some physical signs you see to know that there are problems in the home of some people. If its not a function of problems in his marriage, then your boss is a dirty person and there is nothing anybody can do (even his wife) to redeem him from dirtiness except he changes himself.

As much as I understand your innocent intention, you need to be cautioned on the ways you are going about this business of concern for your boss. Do not think the posters rebuking you hate you or think you have ulterior motive, they are experienced married people and they know the end result of the journey you started. Hence, they are scared for you. What a child can't see standing up, an elder sees sitting down from afar. You have to keep to your boundaries in your work place.

You have told him once, twice or many times about his untidiness, that should be enough and you need not take it upon yourself as the wife. That is going too far. Except you have a look-good department in your office and you are part of it, that takes care of the boss outlook, I don't think there was a need for you to follow the boss to the salon. Let not your good intentions be taken for evil. If you know the wife, why not with this innocent concern talk to her and if possible let her understand how the members of staff feel with his look. Probably change will come and it will save you of the stress of monitoring his dressing.

Your intention may be innocent but trust me, this is how emotional bonding starts. If you continue at this rate with him, you both are potential candidates for infidelity. Understand your boundaries and keep to it. You also never can tell if this is a trick he is playing to get your attention. The end result may not be palatable.

@All, although the OP didn't pass her message across well and went too far, she actually has a point. Let's be attentive to our spouses and for the men, let's listen to the ladies when they criticize our wears. I know some men are stubborn and can't handle their wives helping them look good, they prefer the girl in the office to correct their dressing than their wives.

God bless everybody's home

cheny4love: Thank u for your responds. the rent is 120k. i have 15k already.

Which area in Abuja do you stay and how can your story be confirmed?

Chillisauce: My kids are already learning two languages, when they are maybe 8, I teach them the third language. Don't wanna put so much pressure in their little head, keeping space for mathematics

lol @keeping space for mathematics.... Kids tend to learn very fast while young. It becomes a burden when they grow older. The funny part is that once you can ginger or encourage them to learn, you will be amazed that they can learn 3 at a go.....

The space for mathematics cannot be taken over by any other activity. The core factor is interest

Beautiful but don't kill her inquisitive spirit. She may end up losing it if the ma pa mi complaints get too much at her. That was how my mum killed my inquisitiveness... She used to tell me I ask too many questions, I want to know everything in detail including what does not concern me....

Though, I am still inquisitive but not the level I used to be before mama started her mi o pa iya mi complaints...

@Damiso,

I hope you are teaching her Yoruba? You can add a flavour of french or spanish to make her multilingual

Thank you as you help

1HGCP3F87BA012443

^^^ Tell your account officer to make one of them a deposit only account. You should keep your savings in the deposit only account. Desperate challenge requires desperate measure... You can go as far as telling him to lock it and put a red flag on it in case of any withdrawal even from you.

When you start dropping money in the account, forget that you have an account with money except when you have to deposit. Speak with the account officer, he will help you.

I wish you well in the path to financial prudence and discipline..

I want to be remembered that I served God and my generation..................... The words of it to echo through time as long as the earth remains..

Harmony222: please i need sponsorship abroad, anyone here who can help?

YES... The help is below


www.google.com

www.usaid.org

www.ausaid.gov.au

Hope the addresses help... Goodluck with your search

Calculate your compulsory and recurrent expenditure monthly, deduct it from your earnings and keep 30% of the remaining for upkeep and flenjo.

Open a separate savings account and deposit the remaining in it. Request from your account officer to lock the account from withdrawal. Make it strictly a deposit only and block access to it too for the space of a year.

If you can do it successfully for a year, the act of savings will be formed in you.


Good luck

Good morning to Y'll... Want to believe you all had a great night.

@, good to hear the boy is responding to treatment and will be soon out of their. Your friend's parents loved themselves till death. The old man tried to wait for 10 months. There was an elder in my old church, he followed his wife one month after. Since the day the wife died, he himself died within, always thinking and talking of his wife until he had to follow her. Maybe he begged God to let him go.


@Chillisauce, can you please prepare fore groie (am not sure if the spelling is correct) with potato chips and chicken sauce for Stillwater and YPP's husband birthday tomorrow? We need to throw a surprise party for them.

@Stillwater, the Lord will always lead you beside the stillwaters... Happy Birthday in advance..

@YPP, happy birthday to your husband in advance, wishing him many more prosperous and fulfilled years on planet earth...

vivianc: So to those mean madams out there? The young does grow!

I like this statement

alexmbachu2: i dont have problems wit your marriage.just drop ur contact lets meet each other

Thanks..

Check this please..

1HGCP3F78BA011793

chaircover: Oluwaseun!

Congratulations... It shall be permanent..

Where is the party at?

deols: when nobarry even asked of me?..i vex small



Not fully back jare..


will be back fully. Later

Google told us that you were busy and should not be disturbed. Guess, you were busy slicing human parts (surgery) in the hospital

cdamsel: ,na sitdown look I dey o,well I'm glad u noticed me*dancing kukere,dont mind RR I think YPP is gonna treat his Bleep up

@YPP,yes I no anybody is free 2 welcome me,i told u 2 throw me a parri cos my bday is just less dan a month away

@RR,he is nt my bf o,we married,bt i want a divorce,i now ve an eye 4 bellong

@bellong,dont tell me u chicken hearted? Here I am professing love u dey fall 4 hand 4 here,1st tin 1st,shey u fine ooo

For this kin matter, na pigeon heart I get, chicken sef hard pass me. I don hear say r231 get pump action and he no dey play with hin woman.

r231, I no dey at all.. Na OYO she dey ooo... shey i fit sleep with my two eyes closed?

@Tinkybabe,

Why wouldn't the CEO sack you? You couldn't even publish it in several dailies for wider coverage. By the virtue of being the Chairman of the board, I hereby re-instate you as the HR personnel with CC to oversee your operation.

You have within 2 weeks to deliver set target to the CEO or else face a stiffer punishment. You have been warned..

All things work together for good for those that love the Lord and called according to His purpose. You had no control over it happening, so you should not condemn yourself that it happened. You can take time to grief to relieve the soul from heaviness.

I believe by next year, your hearts will be filled with joy and thanksgiving for the great and wonderful things God will do for you and the family. I know its not easy for you this period but you can take solace in His words that "when you pass through fire, I will be with you..." The Lord is with you in this situation.

You may need to ask the doctor if peradventure there was a medical cause for it so as to prevent future occurrence.

It is well with you bro..

Please check this.

1HGCP3F70BA010332

Thank you