₦airaland Forum

How do I start with the intro?

Bellong comes from combination of my surname and Nigeria.. I have a dream that Nigeria will surely work in my lifetime.. My children will not grow to experience the Nigeria I grew up in...


Was born a muslim and became a Christian by grace.... I do not discuss religion because I hate religion.. Will rather act my faith and discuss about His love for mankind...

I am still discovering myself because I am a very complicated person >:

My greatest achievement in life will be when I totally conquer myself..For now, I still die daily

OP,

You have the counsel of a professional above. Follow the instructions strictly and the Lord will help you...

Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old, he will not depart from it.....

The roles of parents in their children's lives are unlimited as long as the parents remain mentally alright to counsel when the need arises.

That being said, parents should guide against over pampering their children in the name of catering for their needs. They should know where to draw the line so as not to render useless their children.

When they are of age, they will still need counsel and wisdom of elders from their parents even in their marriage and other life scenarios.....

A good father leaves inheritance for his children children... The inheritance is not necessarily material things, it could be in form of a moral and social family values.

What has her tribe got to do with your happiness and fulfillment in marriage. She had no control over the tribe she found herself, so it should not be something to discourage you at all.

You should be more concerned about what she has control over.

Discuss with the baby mama's father if he could do something about it.

Go to welfare office as advised and prepare to hire a lawyer should in case it gets to the court. I think you have high probability of winning the case.

It is well with you

Read this article from Funmi Akingbade...


Many wives harbour secret sexual desires and many husbands want to know the sexual adventures that can meet this desire. It is as simple as A.B.C.

Husbands, go down on your wives’ nipples, clitoris and vaginas carefully. Nipples, clitoral and vaginal stimulation can be the high point of pre-intimacy to a wife. It can even be the main event of the night or an erotic need that couples return to frequently during a long luxurious sexual encounter. Manual stimulation is incredibly important for wives to have an orgasm. Most wives need a little more nipple, clitoral and vaginal contact than intercourse. Warm, wet and intimate stimulation can be just as fun and satisfying as full intercourse. Actually, 87 per cent of wives prefer nipples, clitoral and vaginal caressing to all other forms of pre-intimacy. Many wives fantasise about lying back and having their husbands go down on them, but many cannot express it. Moreover, if you want to sexually pamper your wife or want her to be consumed literally with enticing sexual feeling, try this out tonight.

There is something about a husband feasting his eyes, hands and mouth on his wife’s nipples, clitoris and vagina. It can translate the couple into another world of ecstasy. The sensation of the tongue on the nipples, clitoris and vagina is usually enough to make couples hyperactive. However, according to researches many husbands do not lick the right places well or sometimes do not stay long enough to make their wives reach a climax.

We shall be looking at the practical details of nipples, clitoral and vagina stimulation today. To fully comprehend and practise the instruction I will be giving, please bear these few facts in mind. During sex, reach down and rub your wife’s clitoris whenever possible and you are guaranteed to increase her chances of having orgasm. For many wives, manual stimulation of these areas is the only way they can reach a climax. Rubbing the nipples, vagina and the clitoris the right way is not something husbands just know how to do; it is something they have to learn. When a wife’s vagina is not yet lubricated, ‘never’ try to insert a finger or penis into it. That is legal rape.

Studies have shown that husbands staring at their wives’ breasts for 10 minutes a day can improve their total well-being. The human lips, tongues and genitals are the most sensitive parts of the body. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. The tip of the clitoris has 700 nerve endings, more than the head of the penis. The most sensitive part of a woman’s vagina is the first two inches; that is where the majority of the nerve endings are located. A woman’s skin is 10 times more sensitive to touch than men’s own. During arousal, increased blood flow causes a woman’s breast to swell by 25 per cent, and when stimulated the vagina expand to six inches long. As a wife is turned on, blood rushes to her vulva, causing the vagina to release a smooth liquid called ‘drops of Jupiter’. The average duration of a female orgasm is six seconds. The female Japanese word for orgasm means ‘I have died and gone to heaven’. Now, carefully stimulating your wife’s nipples, clitoris and vagina can make her also utter these words.

One-step at a time is the best secret code. So while together, have your hands under her, then stroke her clitoris through her panties to build the anticipation of feeling your fingers against her wet skin. Even if you have seen your wife’s unclothedness a thousand times, don’t rush to take off her panties every time. Take the action to the next level by sliding your hand under her panties. There is more to the clitoris than meet the eyes. So, don’t just rub, start kissing your wife’s knee up to her inner thigh or from her navel down to her clitoris, then directly to her labia, and then find your way to her nipples. A wife’s inner thighs are very sensitive. Incredibly, some wives can even have orgasm just by messaging their feet; starting your journey to the clitoris by kissing her thighs is still the best. This gives your wife intense pleasure and builds her anticipation for the thrill to come. Ask her to hold her legs up and out of the way. This allows you better access to the vagina. If you want to know if she is moaning with pleasure, ask her not to sandwich your ears with her thighs, you will be amazed by the ‘melodic rhythms’ coming your way! Pay close attention to the moaning; make sure it is not that of pain.

Crystalballs,

He that asks for the way does not get missing. The challenge with your wife may not just be related to pains alone but some other factors may be involved. Except she opens up to you, that is when you can actually have a good picture of what her problem is. Let us try to address some causes of pains during sexual intercourse..

You need to find out from her if she was circumcised. Ladies with genital mutilation experience pains during intercourse which usually discourage them from the act as it doesn't bring any form of pleasure to them. A lady with female genital mutilation never initiates sex and rarely reaches orgasm according to research. If this is her problem, you will have to exercise great patience as she has limited control over this. However, with right psychological therapy, she can get past it.

How well do you handle her prior to the real do. Do you take enough time for pre-intimacy before rushing to the glory-land. Devote more time to pre-intimacy to prepare her psychology and also have her get lubricated enough. If she is not well lubricated, it causes pain and the purpose of the intimacy is defeated.

There is also need to look at the foundation of the marriage considering what you wrote here. Did she marry you because her preferred man jilted her and she is yet to get over it? Some ladies get married to people they never planned to due to pressure from home and peers thereby making the home not enjoyable for themselves and their husbands. The pains may be an excuse to evade intercourse as her heart probably belongs somewhere else (My opinion). Until she is laid bare can we know her real problem.

For a se-x therapist, you can get in touch with Funmi Akingbade (CAFI.PUNCH@YAHOO.COM), she has a colummn in punch on saturdays....

^^^ Nobody condemned other universities until people started comparison and washing what is obvious.

If you are talking about the sciences/engineering building in UNILORIN, it cannot be compared with those in IFE. Yes, those structures are old, and are still magnificent in this age, the reason why the school is great.

Apples cannot be compared with pineapples

@Lertee,

The original poster opened this thread about IFE only because he was there. He was not in Ilorin, else he would have posted pictures.

Meanwhile, the thread is about building design, architectural piece and serene environment not about data base or academic session.
I lived in Ilorin for three years, worked closely with Prof Oloyede (then VC) and Ayorinde (DVC-acad). If you must argue about structures, UNILORIN cannot be compared with IFE, that is an attempt at environmental suicide.

Though Oloyede tried his best to put the school in shape constructing buildings within short space of time, yet that school cannot and can never attain IFE in structures and planning.

Please stop this comparison with IFE, it is a slap on us.

Nigerians are very funny set of people. SOmebody went to a town, saw a university he probably had heard her praises and decided to take pictures.

He posted the pictures and gave his own opinion of the environment. Instead of people to either ignore the post, appreciate the pictures posted or rather criticize government and the school authority for the dilapidation of some of the structures in the pictures, they turned it to my school fine pass... That is no sign of any maturity and self security.

The op is not even an alumnus of the said university to warrant a bias assessment from him. You all need to keep calm and ask what makes the school beautiful.

Beauty of a place is not restricted to new paint or high-rise building but also include planning, architectural design and what have you.

I wouldn't know of now, IFE is the only university you will not see powerlines scattered everywhere. Most of the power cables were passed underground. The drainage in the school is unparalleled with any other in Nigerian universities. People please appreciate the foresight of the founding fathers of the institution and let us blame present government for leaving it to wallow in disrepair.

If I see beautiful structures from any Nigerian universities, I would rather appreciate them than descending to my father's car is better.

For record purpose, I am a proud product of GREAT IFE

global07: If you have never had the experience then you ask people to let you know. This happened on the 8 of the month on the Royal air maroc flight from nigeria to JFK. I witness the argument and know the names of the officials who caused the issue and the victims was my blood. So I am not making up anu stories. Just trying to tell ppl like you to be wise anytime you intend to travel

Bro, I am not disputing what happened but have objection to the fact that all the Nigerians on that flight were turned back based on the offense of one.

They may have told you that to cover up for why they deny them entry. You were not there with them at port of entry to ascertain the claim.

^^^ Your response still did not answer the question I raised.

How can custom of a country turn back everybody on a flight because of the alleged offence of one? If that actually happened, it will be all over the news and a big deal. They didn't turn back only the offender but also every Nigerian on the flight, haba.. its too bogus an exaggeration...

There is nobody who have not experienced his/her own share of bad treatment from government officials, it is how you stand your ground that matters. If I am cheated, I do not complain, I deal with the situation. Saying it is hopeless is a defeatist statement.

For emphasis sake, I never disputed the corrupt action of immigration and custom officials at the MMIA but the event at JFK.

brownbest: less than 6000USD

If you want to get that in Turkey, you will have to study in government schools that teach only in Turkish. If you are admitted, you will be made to learn Turkish for a year before you start your studies.

Use google to search for universities in Turkey, wikipedia will return result for all schools in Turkey. Though there are few government owned institutions you can study medicine in English for about $6000, the schools are very competitive.

brownbest: @wip7 am still waiting for information on a cheaper school to do medicine in north Cyprus or other opportunities in Turkey or south cyprus

Cheap cost is a relative term. Like how much are you looking at paying for the program per session?

^^^ Have you discussed this non-chalant attitude to his home with him?

Have you shared your deepest concern about the kids' welfare with him. Although, he needed not be told of his responsibilities but in situation when he is becoming indifferent to tasks at hand, you have to voice out to him rather than dying within.

arrange a heart-heart discussion about this issue to finding a compromise in your home's financial matters.

As much as I will not dispute the extreme corrupt practices of immigration and custom officials at the airport, how do you expect me to believe that bogus accusation of preventing entry to all Nigerians on a flight at the JFK because of the accusation against one person.

You need to come up with proof of this your allegation. We are used to complaining without action, what has the people in the scenario done to correct this anomaly? Does it mean there is nobody who can take the case up for the immigration official to prove his allegation?

As far as I know, the custom will not turn down everybody because of accusation against one with no cogent evidence or proof. Please do not let our hatred for the country degenerate into making unfounded allegations.

You summarized your story, I will also summarize my response.....


Your husband is working full time but you are the de-facto bread winner. I want to assume its your arrangement you agreed to, hence it is right. Who are we to go against a mutual agreement in your home.


The question of who comes first to a husband is ambiguous with no straight answer. However in an ideal situation, the immediate family (Wife and children) should come first.

^^^ Madam, in my humble opinion, I will advise you keep your children far away from her until she changes for better.

Those kids are too young to have someone sowing seed of bitterness and resentment in them. Please keep them away from her, if she claims to be a christian, she is doing more damage to those innocent kids than good.

God help you

Mrs, what is your definition of Love?

Love can never never be wasted. The two lines you wrote above is not enough to know what you want so people can advise you in fighting for your home.

Maybe you should give a little bit more details of what you intend passing across.

Violence in any form should not be treated lightly. You alone know what you want and nobody can advice you on what you truly want.

If you are contented with a violent person, good for you. If you are not, you still have time to run away.


Never every marry anybody with the assumption that she will change.

ILIDEFI: I wz writin a new and difft point wen I talked abt relationship with Christ. U shld have seen dat it wz a new paragraph.
About d first aid, d truth is dat d survival pf a poisoned patient has much to do with d time lapse between d intake of d poison and presentation at a hospital. If it's a matter of few minutes, chances of survival is high esp if gastric lavage (washing up d stomach) is done. But if it's a question of hours, d poison wud hav bin absorbed into d body, so lavage won't do anytin. Only using d antidote wud save d person, and if it's not available,den survival is slim. Again, some poisons (like all these animal poisons which block respiration ) do not have antidote, so there will b no remedy for dem.
Now thank me for giving u some enlightenment.

Thank you for the free education. However, your lesson does not exonerate the hospital from this mess. If an hospital does not have facilities for treating rat poison, what else can they do? You see why people keep dying daily in the hands of these our incompetent medical personnel.

I wish you know the distance between Isale-Asa and the UNILORIN teaching hospital the girl was referred to. The distance is even nothing compared to the traffic that will hold them in Sango area before getting to the hospital, of which am sure, the referral hospital doesn't even have an ambulance for emergencies like this.

I still stand by my initial word, that first hospital is crap if it can't administer stability for rat poison. If I were a member of medical regulatory body, the hospital will be on red-flag.

Happy Birthday bro..... Wishing many more years in fulfillment and sound health.

ILIDEFI: First Aid like what? U think managing poisoning is d same as managing cuts and sprains or even RTA, esp wen u don't know d active ingredient in d poison or it's antidote? Don't criticize wen u know little to nothing abt any field.

If d girl rily had a relationship with Christ, she wud not have taken her life. Bible says dat tho mothers and fathers forsake us, d Lord Himself will receive us. U can always bank on d love of God wen rejected and dejected by family and frnds.

What has relationship with Christ got to do with hospitals managing emergencies? And you are here telling me that the hospital have no idea on how to treat ota pia pia poison? Is the teaching hospital they refer her to an herbalist home? Is this how we want to be celebrating mediocrity and incompetence?

You don't even know whether they are muslim or traditionalist before jumping at relationship with Christ.

I may not know anything about medicine but at least I know there is a first aid given to poisoned patient irrespective of the active ingredients contained in the chemicals.... I think you need that advice more than I do.

First aid is not limited to cuts and bruises oga.

deols: Name calling. Smh

You might end up being the real fanatic here for making comments out of prejudice.

The lady had already said that she probably will go with her mum's advice before some people came to threaten her using religion. If her choice is to remain in her marriage, why would she be threatened with religion? Does that not show fanaticism?

The example you noted does not correlate with the present situation.

At least there's no where you threatened her using religion. When it becomes a threat, it is fanaticism.


I am sorry if you see it as name calling, my intention was to point out the action.

^^^ That is the advice of religious fanatics

Madam CC, I guess you are too old fashioned to understand that catching fun entails that I must turn you to nothing with words even if I do not know who you are.

Out of the abundance of heart, the mouth speaks.. Whosoever will descend to using derogatory words to pass across a message under the guise of catching fun has only proved what is on his/her inside.

If I engage in an argument and it degenerates into abuse galore, I will rather leave the argument than exchanging hot words with people either on a faceless forum or in a faceful forum.

We really need value re-orientation

^^^ You need to read the extreme abusive language used in the Nigeria in Nigeria and Nigeria in Diaspora thread. I wonder why people cannot pass across their point without descending to using derogatory words.

The painful thing is most of these people claim to be religious and serving God yet their actions and attitude cannot reflect in their confession...

I will not be surprised if the mother of the girl claims its an attack from her enemies.

smartmom: They probably knew it was too late for any help and didnt want the stigma of having a patient die in their premises.

No matter how late it seems, a simple first aid for poisoning could still have done something. We never can tell. They value their "reputationless reputation" above medical emergency.

halobaba: Ok..being Frank never even been to Ghana before, it was arranged, so am wondering if i will fly out from nigeria or enter ghana first and fly from there to Turkey..

Thank You

You need to confirm if the Turkish visa stamped on your passport is genuine before you start thinking of having problem at the port of entry. SInce you were not there in person, how sure are you that the stamped visa is genuine?

However, if it is a genuine visa, you should have no problem at the port of entry. What they check is the authenticity of the visa on your passport.

So the nearby hospital cannot even offer a first aid before referring to teaching hospital that is on the outskirt of town. What a pathetic hospital and medical council still allow such to operate....

As promised yesterday, below is my humble contribution.

Your complain is his lack of interest in exploring different position as against how it used to be. Have you ever tried to find out what caused this aside the am I still attracted to you question you posted to him? The unfavourable psychological state of any human affects intercourse greatly. Probably the little he is doing is just to fulfill all righteousness, else you jump outside.

There are many reasons one can give for this sudden turn of event ranging from psychological to medical. You have to with patience and understanding find this out from him. Not using question of am I still attracted to you. That looks more like emotional blackmail (IMO). He is your husband, you should know when he is going through issues either in the office or financial. Once the root cause can be identified, the problem is as good as solved.

You also can initiate the styles you want without waiting for him to lead you on. If mountain refuses to go to mohammed, then mohammed must go to the mountain. Lead him on and make the move, am sure he will follow and you will be happy again.
The people in the best relationships — those who are doing a great job in bed — are people who take time to find out what their partners want, and then put their own selfish interests aside to satisfy their partners. Done in a mutually beneficial way, this often leads to great se-x.

You can read the article below, I believe it will be of great help. It is well with your home.

One of the major challenges of a typical couple is how to send the right signals and get the best of each other when it comes to sexual fulfilment. As much as many couples want un-inhibited sex-ual harmony, the hold of culture, norms and tradition is a major inhibition. Do you want to put your lover in the same sexual frequency you are in right now? Well it will help to communicate to your mate the fact that you want sex sooner than later, in a way that will get him or her as fired up as you are. There is one major undeniable fact and that is both men and women love to feel lusted after, and many get an erotic jolt just from hearing their partner confess that they are ‘on heat’ for their lover. Many wives are dying to hear their husband say they look so sexy, even after many childbirths.

To many spouses, especially the ladies, the idea of just ‘ordering’ her to bed and demanding your conjugal right may drain every sexual feeling for the next few weeks. A husband that is under pressure to meet up with some official, financial, health or marital challenges may never respond to repetitive nagging over the fact that he is neglecting his sexual responsibility. A wiser approach can just be you to whisper into your partner’s ear that (1) he or she is incredibly sexy, looking good, best spouse of the year, incomparable partner; and (2) you desperately want him or her to get naked.

Just say something you are certain he or she will NEVER resist. You have to make it a habit to know your spouse, for the more you know your partner the more likely you will hit the right notes. Those words with well-executed touching and tantalizing visual signals should be able to create a sizzling and heavy atmosphere.

Do not jump to sex immediately but watch how your partner responds to your advances. This will help give you a clue as to whether they are good to go, or need sometime to get there. If they pull away or stop your hands, you know they need to be seduced more slowly. You don’t have to be aggressive; seductive and playful but deliberate coaxing can be very effective. Planning and executing a ‘sexual ambush’ with a loving attitude heaps loads of sexual satisfaction for either party.

Many times, I encourage wives to deliberately create an avenue for easy access when they are at home with their hubby. Do not over dress at home once in a while. Let your nipples peek out from your bra and be revealing under your night wear in an innocent way. It should be in a way that is unavoidably seen by your husband. This will give any sexual encounters a more spontaneous and erotic vibe. Even if you have had sex with your spouse hundreds of times you can still feel the newness of good sex. Husbands could encourage deep night talk or ‘secret time talk’.

This will help create incredible bonding for the woman. This also helps the man to have enough time to pay attention to the innermost feelings of his lady. By this the man will have more opportunity to make some adjustments here and there and tap into more profound emotion.

Winneygirl: The taste of sin!!
It never ceases to amaze me how we are more attracted to 'that which we shouldn't do' and very lukewarm towards 'that which we should do'.
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This relatnshp is not about money. There is a level of friendship she has with this man, which she doesn't have with her husband.
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Op, go back to the drawing board. Take Ur mind off this man, begging her, or being rash. Seat down with her, and converse with her as a friend. Groom a new kind of friendship. Be thoughtful & warm. Show love not anger. It'll take a while, but U have 2 earn her trust and her friendship.

I want you to read the bolded part again and again? Who deserves to earn trust in this situation? The husband should be begging an unrepentant soul bah...

Oga, you can go ahead and be begging her and allow her to take you for a ride.