₦airaland Forum

^^^ I sympathize with you and pray that the Lord in His infinite mercies will grant you healing and sound health. Please take urgent action and do not delay too long.

It is well with you

^^^ If we go by Coogar's theory, then the married men are the guilty ones in this situation.

^^^ Faith doesn't fail madam. However, there is nothing wrong with getting solution from medical science. God grants people wisdom and breakthroughs in this field for the benefit of mankind.

If the person in question does not have the faith for such miracle, I will advice to follow the instruction of her doctor to save her life and the unborn child. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

bellong: Yes, I agree that the ladies should take blame for accepting offers from married men. I also agree that married men should be responsible enough to keep to their marital vows and stop chasing after everything in skirt.

In summary, I agree that individuals should be responsible for his/her actions without shifting blame on another. My initial post was to condemn the wives who put the blame strictly on the get away ladies while absolving their husbands of the blame.

@Dbard,

Above is the point I was driving at. It may be bs to you but doesn't take away from the fact that men too should be held responsible for their actions.

coogar: men don't kick-start any cycle of infidelity. the power to say yes or no is with the woman. the woman having considered the cuteness, wealth and the manners of the suitor, then agrees to sleep wïth the married man. if every woman says no regardless of the pressure heaped on their shoulders, there would be no infidelity....

men are the victims - they are always at the mercy of the women except in the case of räpe - which is a crime!

The beginning of any cycle begins with the initiator. If the men do not initiate the cycle, there will be no way for the ladies to satisfy their selfish urge. Why would I blame someone who sits on her own before an external force came to disturb her inertia

coogar: how's the promiscuous lady not the problem? was she forced at gunpoint to sleep wïth a married man? unless you are saying women are idiotic zombies who jump at every offer presented to them, your comment is flawed in principle. instead of you to address the hunger and the greed of these ladies, you are putting the blame at the doorstep of the married men - who are mostly the victims of marital infidelity!

If we are going to start this argument, it will lead nowhere. In my submission, I wrote THEY ARE ADULTS, ITS A MUTUAL ACT. In as much as you want to stand in defense of the flirtatious men, I chose to put the blame at their doorstep.
It is no secret that its men that normally kick start such cycle of infidelity. How are men mostly victims of infidelity? Please educate me on that statement.

Meanwhile, the man too was not forced at gunpoint to lay the gluttonous single lady.

The promiscuous lady is not the problem but the husband. They are adults, its a mutual act. I do not belong to the school of thought of castigating ladies dating married men. If the men never asked them out, will there be opportunity for them to date?

Except by diabolical means, no man run after a lady without an intense hunger and test for lust in his heart. The wife at home better direct her prayers to the source of the problem (her husband).

Budget about 250k for it. Though it shouldn't be more than 230k but keep that amount for miscellaneous expenses.

Too many psychiatric patients on the loose.

Whatever decision that will be taken should be solely your brother's and not the family. The lady is not married to your

family but your brother. Let the husband decide whatever he wants to do with the wife and not you. If he decides not to

send the woman packing, respect his choice. He knows why he wants it that way. As for the Pastor, is there anything you can

do to him? I am not sure of any, the lawyers here can help with that. From your statement, if the pastor is guilty, it was

not a rape but mutual consent between two adults. I wouldn't know if there is punishment for adultery/fornication in the

constitution.

@Bookface,

You are as guilty of the same offence you rebuked the OP of. Could you be generous enough to unquote the attachment from your post?

kingschild123: Molue SIGHS !!! responsible for the loss of my blackberry tried it once will never again enter such.

Was it at the point of entry or inside? Bad experience for you though.

Presbulg: E be lyk say na same problem wey i dey face be dz, if i no improve before my own time comes, na to shayo small dey my mind

Shayo will only compound your problem because you will be out of your mind and be talking jargon. Go through the thread, start practising the art of public speaking and presentation ahead.

There is no big deal in seminar/thesis defence.

^^^ Seems every male have had that experience of yours. Mine happened when I was a teenager, when the uncle below under was still practising the act of standing to attention. I was coming from iyana-ipaja and was sandwiched between two ladies. The lady behind me probably was doing it intentionally, because the more i try to move forward away from her chest, the more she gets close pinning it behind my back. while she was at it, uncle below was raising its ugly head and slightly touching the lady in front. What saved me that day was that the bus stopped suddenly and everybody jerked against each other. she didn't notice what was going on.

I had to relocate in between them before the lady behind me corrupt my innocent heart...

There was also this day I was going to ijebu-ode years ago and I planned saving cost so I opted to go by molue. An old man already took a seat in the molue but went out to buy something. Though he left something on the seat to prevent another taking it. Nevertheless, a young guy came few minutes after and took over the seat, he relocated the man's property to another seat.

When the old man came, he told him that it was his reserved seat but the guy shunned him and told the man to find another place to sit. The man did not argue and only told him to continue sitting there forever. On getting to his destination, the young man couldn't stand up from the seat. He bottom was glued to the seat. It was like watching Herbert Ogunde's movie. Unfortunately for him, the old man alighted long before him. However, after some hours of delay, a spiritualist who saw his predicament came to his rescue and warned him not to disrespect his elders anymore.

Though, I was very young then, since that time, I always stand up for old people in the bus.

We all know what a molue is, for those that do not know, attached is a picture of it. Prior to the transport revolution in Lagos, Molue used to (still in some areas), be the most effective means of transportation. This is due not only to its relatively low fare but also the capacity to carry hundreds of people stuffed together.

I remember that most (if not all) of my transportation while in secondary were by molue. I perfected the art of not being left behind anytime there is a mammoth crowd of passengers waiting to board. What used to fascinate me about molues is the comedy and crazy scenarios you experience perpetrated by other passengers as well as the conductors. Below is one of the many experiences I had as a platinum member of molue.

On this beautiful day, I was going from Mushin to Yaba. The conductor of this particular molue probably must have just finished taking weed before starting the day's job. He harassed almost everybody in the bus. As this day was meant to be when he will meet his waterloo, he went on to abuse an old man in the bus simply because the man asked for his change. While abusing the old man, a guy neatly dressed in suit and tie cautioned him to respect the old man but he wouldn't listen and later transferred the aggression on him. As karma will have him dealt with, the bus stopped to pick a passenger. The guy in suit put off his suit and tie, dragged the conductor down and beat hell out of him.
He never recovered from that beating till we reached our destination. He even forgot to collect t-fare from passengers who entered after the beating.

@EFE,
Sometimes, the neighbours cannot be blamed. One need to look at the type of the environment that such issues are found. It is predominantly low income earners area who believe every of such issues should be reported to the police.

I will not be surprised if none of them including the landlord does not know anything about NAPTIP. Who goes to the police nowadays, especially about a matter that has no direct bearing with you. One gets to the police station and he/she is told to pay for paper to write statement, that is if you are shunned by the police telling you it is none of your business as it is a family affairs.

We have a long way to go in the country. The leadership and the followership are both rotten, corrupt and extremely selfish.

@Topic, I read it on punch this morning, and it is so sad for the poor little child to die in such a cruel manner due to no fault of hers. This is why it is advisable for men to marry ladies who are emotionally and intelligently matured devoid of greed and me and my husband alone syndrome.

The hospital that diagnose the fibroid is in the best position to give her counsel. I have little or no knowledge about medicine.

Please for the sake of your life and child, visit the hospital now and resolve the issue. Nairaland is no hospital

It doesn't take one to be a prophet to know that husbands and wives are already scarce. There are so many males and females but very few husbands and wives. This is as a result of breakdown in family and moral values.

Parents are failing in their responsibilities to nurture their children to become responsible adults. What do you expect someone hitting mace on the head of another to teach his children. How can we justify people embezzling public funds as responsible adults? Their children will take after them.

I once had opportunity to work closely with one of the universities in Nigeria. There was this son of a serving senator who contested for students' union election. The boy did everything to rig the election in his favour including bribing the students' electoral commission body. It took our external intervention to frustrate the attempt and he lost woefully. Like father like son.

Op,

If your birthday is so important to you and you don't want them to forget, why not set event reminder on their phone as a constant reminder of your born-day. With that, the alarm notifies them and they give you a call or buy you a flower.

Your parents may be like me, I hardly remember people's birthday. There was a time that my mum challenged me that I never ever remembered her birthday because she was always the one reminding me. Mind you, sometimes I do forget my own birthday until someone calls me, it used to be that bad.

My principal reason for joining facebook is to keep tab of my friends' birthday because I have been accused by many of neglecting such dates.

So, do not think their not remembering your date has anything to do with caring less of you. Help them to keep a tab on your date.

^^^ I never knew you are one of the MODs. But I wonder why people turn a faceless forum to something they can't do without. Must it always be do or die.


If you are banned, take correction and get on with other things u can do here.

@Rolly

You must be full of bitterness and anger. Take it easy bro. Chaircover is not even a moderator to start with.

Resolve your grievances with Twirl, she is the MOD here in family section.

Visit this thread and read people's opinion about the use of wedding ring.

https://www.nairaland.com/1330170/how-often-wear-wedding-ring

I do not use mine, it has always been in my bag. It also depends on the agreement between you and wife, if she doesn't care about the use, carry go.

There is no big deal in the use of a ring, its only a physical symbol to people that you are married.

@Kikyben_2,


I sincerely do not know what to tell you to ease your mind out of this situation and get focused. Maclatunji and CC have given you good advices that if you act on them, you will be able to get it past behind you and smile again.

I have been in your position before and as a male, I can't describe how I felt. I can only imagine how it will be with you being a female who at most times are very emotional. Like CC said, you have to let out that emotional outburst, you need a private time to cry your heart out and move on with your life.

One thing I promised myself when I was disappointed is this, I made up my mind that WHOEVER I eventually marry will one day hug and thank my ex for jilting me. You can apply this to yourself by working on yourself and your goals to becoming a better person by the day.

Above all, it too shall pass soonest and you will smile again. Let him go, bible says "every good and perfect gift comes from God.." Your ex is only a good gift, with patience and endurance, wait for that Perfect gift of man that will come your way.

It is well with you

AmberDelRio: I am not really where i should go so lets start here.i am in no way shape fashion or form trying to bash nigeriana or any ethnic tribe. Second, i am not a white person. Third, i agree i was and have been very impulsive with my decisión making. For the most part i understand where you all are coming from. I should have done my diligence by way of a check on his background. However checking the background from one american to the next is easy. Gaining any information on a foreign person is not only difficult but it is also more costly. I just came here hoping that i wouldnt get bashed for being naive and get some Solid ideas at the same time.

The mistake has been made, you need not dwell on that. You have been advised by someone that if he is yet to get his green card, do not be in a haste to file for him now. Get all your facts and information to prove his sincerity and honesty with you.

Have you ever made any attempt to get introduced to his family in Nigeria? If you have not done so, why not start from there.

There is a reason why God gave every human a brain. It is meant to be used at all times and in all situations. Openness

does not equates to stupidity. There is a wide difference between keeping secrets and divulging unnecessary and idle

information like the one you painted. When you are confronted with situations, apply the brain to know what info to

release or not. The only info you are bound to disclose is anything that may jeopardize your relationship if kept. Other

idle talk should be treated as such.

Chillisauce: Naija men Sabi cheat! Twa!

Cheat engraved in their DNA .


Nigerian Men change o!

99% of Naija men cheat!

Fact!


Their dingle no dey stay one place!

Another fallacious statement. Have you tested 99% of Naija men to arrive at this conclusion? Will it also be proper to say 99% of Naija women are cheat including you? Afterall, it takes two to tango.. Naija men cheat with Naija women..

Poster, your quest to me is a joke.

You did not do your due diligence before getting married to him and you are now on the suspicion hunting adventures. What is making you feel suspicious of nothing about him? Have you ever taken time to discuss your feelings with him?

If you have no reason to suspect him, why bother your paranoid feelings about what is not. Are you one of those people that believe there is no good man anywhere, hence your insecure feelings.

Though its too late since you are married but better late than never. Get on the next bus for a fact finding mission and uncover all the secrets he never told you. Meanwhile before you start, make sure you have something near you that can help in case of heart attack.

What you have written above is not in anyway putting your marriage in trouble. Please do not invite trouble into your home with your tongue and paranoid feelings.

@Igwe,

I have read your post and advices given, It seems you are yet to comprehend the solution given to you. You want to be part of your child's life (though you were not there for her when she needed you most)

---

Debrief has given you a direct and professional solution to your problem yet you keep whinning about your ex.

Now, write out Debrief's solution and follow it religiously. That is all what you need for now. Request the MOD to close this thread.

Meanwhile, your EX has moved on, if not, it will not be from your friend that you will see cute picture of an innocent child.

This is always the period I mostly remember David Barry Dein.....

Bryan12: thanks.but do know bout any of this people you re talking about

There is a website named Google, you can use it to get an extensive result.