₦airaland Forum

MMIA, always sending fear down my spine... The airport is only a summary of our society.

^^^ Quit whining about what is not a big deal. Re-read his post and comprehend why he moved to another room.

Except for the breastfeeding part, what will make a man collapse for taking care of his own baby. You talk as if that is how difficult babies are. Do not always compare other men with your husband. It would have been better if you had asked him the part of the chores he helps his wife with before making assumptions.

Mind you, I do all those stuff you termed difficult and never passed out for once. my son is one of the hyper-active kids I have met.

While in secondary school, our then principal gave us an advice and it stuck till date. He told us, "Never ever you argue with an armed policeman because it may terminate your life.." He went further to say that all the thinking and reasoning of an armed policeman are in the gun... He wouldn't think straight without pulling the trigger.


Stories like this will not stop in this country until policemen are being tried and sentenced to firing squad for pulling the trigger at any provocation.

The most pathetic thing about the NPF is that their leadership also believe in the crap called accidental discharge. That is the lowest any police force in the world can go. There is nothing called accidental discharge. For pulling the trigger, it means you have the intention to kill your target. One of the laws of fire-arms, do not point your weapon at someone you do not have intention to kill.

^^^^ Why pass a complete judgement for what you have no full idea nor understanding about?

[quote author=Somorin#1]Which one is "bolekaja"?[/quote]Teni begi loju motors.... The luxurious transportation in south west of those days...

Sincerely..I wish governments of nations can subject people to periodic psychiatric evaluation if possible...

The guy is very unlucky that he will get only ONE year of free food and medicare... He should plead for updated charges of more years... ..

The world is full of psychiatric patients walking about as normal.

@Jpiliya,

Going by the assumption and theory here, in that case, the man takes the sole blame for getting lured by skimpy skirts.

To me, it is not having maid that is bad. It is the bad treatment meted out to them that is condemnable. There are people who practically raised their maids like their own children. That is what should be encouraged when having a maid.

^^^ Difference between BRT buses and MOlue is packaging.....

Another funny stuff about molues is the way conductors call destination. One of the most hilarious call is Abule-ado-Okokomaiko route. Till today, I can't grasp completely the whole statement. It goes like this onle-onle-onle-onle-onle-jabuleado.....

[quote author=Okiki_Oluwa]I don't wanna share mine. Its not funny.
Super story reloaded.
bellong, u can lie pass GEJ![/quote]Yea, hyper-super story. It actually happened. If you were conversant with molues plying ijebu-ode route in those good old better and bad days, you would have heard those native drug sellers reiterating the story.

^^^ Can you tell us your first attempt at jumping down from a molue?

As for me, my first attempt was brutal. At the time, I never knew I was to run along the direction of motion when jumping down. I just jumped and tried to stand but toppled over and got injured. Learnt a brutal lesson that day. Subsequently, I became a pro

Welcome bro.. Glad to be of help

You can also go through this thread below to read the story of someone who was in your situation and made a turn around...

https://www.nairaland.com/1336678/bye-intimate-addiction

First point to note, Do not jump into marriage because of high libido. If you patiently and diligently find someone you are ok with to marry, its all good but never let your drive be the reason you rush to marriage.

The early-mid 20's is a common age to have an increased libido as mother nature makes your body clock tick louder in an attempt to make you breed - It is likely to pass or fade in a couple of years... Not much you can do in the meantime but masturbating is likely to provide only temporary relief and will result in the requirement to masturbate more which eats deep into the fabric of your soul and sets in guilty conscience at every time you engage in it.

Your increased sex drive comes from the most important of the sex organs - the brain... It is the brain that has instructed your various glands and organs to produce the chemicals that make you feel the way you do and the only antidote apart from lots of sex and ultimately pregnancy, is to distract it from its purpose... You can accomplish this by frequent exercise, going out to mix with people whenever the surge arises, occupying yourself with something productive (an idle hand is the devil's factory), never put yourself in a lonely situation that may trigger the urge. Do away with books, movies and scenes filled with sexual fantasy. They only get stored in your sub-conscious to haunt you later. These may never be 100% effective but burying yourself in absorbing and exhausting hobbies and interests will make it easier for you and in time your body will adjust its need to the supply...

Going religious, it is good that you have made a deliberate attempt to change your ways. Ask God to fill you with the Holy Spirit. This will help you in the time of weakness to be strong. Feed your spirit with the word of God always and read other spiritual books. It is time to also pray the more. It is going to be a long path to victory but you will overcome in the end. Always keep this scripture in your heart at every moment "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ..." 2Cor 10:4-5.

It is well with you and the Lord will grant you the grace to pull through..

If he has all other custom documents to prove he paid his duty, you can buy. Meanwhile, you can verify the authenticity of his payment at any custom's office before making payment for the vehicle.

Though sometimes customs certificates are not always available. He may be speaking the truth.

This is a welcome development. I only hope it will not go the path of other laws with no enforcement.

@Poster,

I gladly appreciate you for acknowledging that you have a good lady as a wife and also a responsible mother who cares a lot for her children. Your commendation and praise of her alone is enough for you to find a balance in resolving this impasse. Before I add my contribution, I want to encourage and warn you before you wreck your home.

Please, whatever thoughts and ideas of infidelity that may be springing up in your mind should be dealt with immediately. Never you think it will solve your problem, it will only compound it and bring untold woes upon you and the family. The devil doesn't tempt people with what they don't like but what they love and he explores very area of weakness to break in. You have a happy and responsible family, please and please, do not invite chaos and anarchy through infidelity into your home. Give the devil an inch, he will take a mile. If you don't kill what you are harbouring now, it will grow to become a mighty tree you wouldn't be able to deal with. Before it gets to that level, kill and deal with the thoughts NOW.

Concerning your wife, it is very important at this stage to have an understanding of the workings of female psychology when it comes to children. As a man, there are some things you can overlook about those kids which the maternal instinct in your wife will never do. It is normal at this stage to be completely emotionally bound to those young children. However, the bond can be worked upon to your favour depending on what you do and did not do. You made a mistake leaving the room for her and the children to be alone in another room. No matter what you do, that action is not bridging any gap between you and your wife with the children. I understand perfectly why you did that but its not the right thing to do. Go back to your room, if the boys will not sleep in their room, you can bring their beds to yours and when they are asleep, transfer them to their own beds. You will have time to cuddle and hold your wife through the nite and also recreate the midnite bonding between couples.

Helping your wife with chores is the right thing to do and not a priviledge for her. Despite your help, it seems she has too many to handle. If you can afford it, buy her a washing machine as well as dish washing machine to ease the laundry and dishes. During the weekend, you can have your children be taken to your parents' place and both of you can have a nice time together all alone. In essence, ignite the romantic fire in your home. Whatever passion you plan for those girls catching your attention, exert it upon your wife.

Finally, you may have been discussing the issue with your wife but yet to communicate. Only communication works and not just talking. It is the only medium that can hit the required spot. You know your wife very well and you know how you get his attention to do your bidding and vice-versa. She needs to understand your passion and loneliness during this period so she can find a way to adjust while you play a big part in helping her.

On a lighter note, do not be jealous of your boys' closeness to your wife, that is how boys are. They will always cling to their mother while the girls are attached to their father. I guess that is how nature works. They will soon outgrow running after their mum. Its only a matter of time.

May the Lord help you put things in order. It is well with your home.

^^^ If you are conversant with Elnathan's works, you will understand the writings above better.

^^^ This principle can answer your question .."Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.." If it is good with for someone to "snatch" your fiance/boyfriend, then it is good for you to snatch others too. Since you will not complain if meted with same measure.

^^^ That is a good testimony of someone living what she professes. Do unto others as you want to be treated. I pray God help her to the end

For a relationship tending to marriage, if there is any attitude you cannot cope with, it is better you leave the girl than thinking she will change.

Nobody is a superman to change anybody. She has refused to change since you started nor has she shown any sign of improvement with the attitude you detest so much, the probability that she will change is very low. Its left for you to decide if you can live with it and if not, it is time for you to leave.

PS: Never ever marry someone with the intention that she will change, if she doesn't change now, she may never change but become worse. Habits die hard

yellowpawpaw: The writer just summarized what goes on in every 'madam's'head that has a househelp.insensitive creatures! Both the poor and rich madams,all want to have househelp.
I recently went to c a friend that put to bed.she was staying with d step mother as at d time of delivery.
Stepmom has 4 children.first child is 13yrs. She has a maid of 14yrs old living with her.said that maid was abandoned by her parents in the village and she was staying with her grannie so she took her for the past 7yrs to d city to help her
The maid ended at primary school. She is learning how to sow.But madam's children goes to school and madam is a teacher.
Asked why,madam said that maid' no sabi book'. Maid said she don't want to school again.she want to learn how to sow.
I asked my friend telling me this, if it were to be madam's child, will she accept that she stops school simply bc she isn't brainy?
Can't she try her best with her?Till today,no answer.
I answered my question,she is only but a maid.she should be grateful she is learning how to sow.
A born again christian woman. I reserve my comment.
Realities of life

You know Jesus knew that people like this will be rampant in the world before saying "By their fruits, you shall know them..." We live in a generation full of religion and theology. They can quote from Genesis to Revelation offhand but their characters and attitudes are far from their profession. With their mouth, they love God but their hearts are far away from Him.

When you see someone who is truly redeemed, he/she needs not tell you his/her profession of faith. The fruits and actions will surely testify of who he is. I don't get carried away by people who attend church or are tongue-blasting, bible-quoting brother without fruits of the spirit to show for it.

@Topic,

I always like the satirical style of Elnathan since I first read one of his works titled "The Nigerian gods..." or something like that. He has a way of passing deep seated meanings from his writings to the audience.

^^^^ ha ha ha.lol.. Its an everyday experience in those their rickety buses.

You just gave simple reasons to a complex situation. To deduce from your submission, you put the blame on men which completely wrong. To put your two positions straight

1. Who doesn't want the partner to giver his/her all in a relationship? Do you think only men have that entitlement mentality? When making observation, do not be gender biased.

2. Men have high standard for women to meet you said. Do you want men to jump at any woman they see without assessing her potentials of making a good wife. Men as well as women have their respective standard and nobody can blame anybody for his/her choice in marriage.

The truth of the matter is that most marriages that end up in divorce have faulty foundations. When the foundation is faulty, collapse is inevitable.

@OP,

I had to go through your previous thread to have an idea of the root of your problem. You probably started dating him out of desperation thinking you had no time on your side. He had shown you his nonchalant and uncaring attitude towards you during the years of the relationship but you refused to leave him maybe because you were thinking where to start from. There was a thread you complained of his insensitive nature to your needs and how stingy he is.

I know you are in your mid-late thirties going by your previous post, no matter the darkness in the tunnel, there is always light at the end of it. There is nothing you can achieve from the legal suit you are planning, you will only waste resources and precious time.

Start your life anew, focus on becoming a happy and better person. Forgive yourself for the errors of the past as well as bad choices you made. Think of the unborn child in your womb and chart a better course for yourself. Forget about a relationship for now, take time to heal from the hurt of this ugly relationship and never put yourself in a position whereby you will be on the receiving end of an ugly situation like you aborted for the other guy.

It is well with you

What are the charges you want to sue him for? You will need to give a proper explanation of what you need so the lawyers here can give you proper counsel that you seek.

However, since you have made up your mind to move on with your life, I think it will be good that you concentrate your energy and efforts towards a successful birth and brighter future. The guy abused you for those years because you gave him permission to do it. You could have opted out long ago before it got to this stage.

Now that you have realized your mistakes, apply your energy to a better tomorrow and future than thinking of revenge. An eye for an eye makes the community go blind. I am not discouraging you from lawsuit if you have anything to charge him with in the face of the law but while at that, think of the future and how to go from here. It is better than thinking of how to take your pound of flesh. After revenge, what next will you do? Please focus on the future and plan for it.

Meanwhile, you can go to social welfare office around you for a better suggestion and counsel. You can also visit legal aid office close to you.

ireneidiva: Dumbest statement ever. Dumbest reasoning. Mtchew

You could have pointed out the part you disagree with rather than going the route of indirect insult.


As much as I do not agree in totality with his position, the statement you called dumb is actually right. Have you seen any girl Brazilian-peruvian hair fixing girl running after men in the lowest cadre of the society?

They know what they want. They prefer the rich and career men that will boost their pocket as well as their ego.


In a public forum, you disagree to agree and that can't be accomplished once insult and exchange of hot words set in.

coogar: they didn't kill the ladies/poured acid for saying no - they normally do those in cases of jealousy or when the ladies are suspected to be cheating/have cheated.....

telling me cases of räpe/murder would be higher if there's no infidelity is blasphemous. you are directly saying men in general are monsters and are irrational animals without sex!

I have read a lot cases for saying no. Not only jealousy.
I am not insinuating that men in general are monsters but some can get that desperate. Records speak volume of such

^^^ Since your doctors have given you a medical pass, do not feed your mind with scary news/tales anymore. Those news only weakens the soul, set fear in and paralyses your strength.

Do not give in to fear. Keep the fire on. We have not received the spirit of fear but of adoption to cry abba father.

The Lord will see you through it. I await your testimony

coogar: this is atrocious...... so the reason there's been less räpe crimes is because of infidelity? hahahahaha - talk about shooting one's foot. this your point has more holes than a village basket.

I didn't make it up. If you do read Nigerian newspaper online, you would have read cases of where guys killed ladies for saying no to their advances or in some cases poured acid on them.
That is how bad it can get for some men who do not take NO for an answer.

^^^ God who has seen you this far will pull you through it. Keep the fighting spirit on and you will deliver safely with no complications.

It is well with you.