₦airaland Forum

Why do you want it on front page where those kids will batter your wife with words.


The information you gave is limited. We don't know the root cause of the serial quarrels. How does your wife handles her sister to degenerate to name calling? There are ways younger ones are dealt with without becoming provocative. For your sister-in-law to be insulting your wife, it didn't start now but a long time and it will not stop suddenly.

Your wife needs to learn dispute resolution with her sister and others without degenerating into free for all fight and insult. The sister also must learn how to say no to your sister without insulting her.

As the head of the home, you have to play a big role in this situation. Call your wife separately, talk to her and make things straight with her. Let her see her shortcomings in this situation and teach her the right thing to do. In like manner, talk to her sister too to respect her elder and show her disagreement in a respectful way without insult. After doing this, you can call the two sisters together and talk to them.

If the sister is staying with you and she refuses to change, you know what to do.

[quote author=Soraya-Carvalho]I feel like a failure when I look a my life ,when people of my age are already in their matrimonial home I am still strugling with people bullying me for my looks,everywhere I go people call me ugly .I used to brush them off ,but now I am starting to believe them . Still no work for me either.
My prayer is that God take me now,because I am exhausted[/quote]@Maclatunji, above is his challenge.


@Soraya,

The good book says "comparing themselves by themselves, they are not wise.." (paraphrased). One of the golden rules of life is not comparing your life with another. We all are distinct from each other both in destiny and fulfillment. God's demand upon your life is different from mine. That is why if anybody needs eternal peace and joy from the troubles and pursuit of life, he must understand God's purpose for his life. Understanding this will give you hope and assurance of a bright future. Seek God's purpose, find it and walk in that path..Everything will fall in place.

I have observed that when people say something can't be done, it means it can actually be done if one doesn't give up nor give in to negative oppositions. The guy that invented the aeroplane was called mad in his time for thinking about the impossible. We are better in the world for it today. DO NOT ALLOW ANYBODY TO BULLY YOU OUT OF YOUR DREAMS....

Do not be bothered if you are called ugly, its only an English word. Never let this word prevent you from achieving your goals for a relationship. I once had a girl who left me on the advice of her friends that I was too ugly for her. I thank God today that I can boldly say I have one of the most beautiful ladies, in outward and inward appearance, as a wife. Nobody chose the form, shape and their look before being born, so do not let anybody slay you for what you had no control over. Work on your self esteem and mingle with the right set of people to build you up and not break you. The truth is, a good lady will not make decision of a life time based on appearance but on what you have on the inside coupled with your vision for life.

Keep putting in efforts to get a job, it will be rewarded very soon. Those that gave up in the 11:59th hour, their miracle came knocking in the 12th hour. Never give up hope. An hopeless man is he that has already given up on himself. Even God cannot help such man. He needs the hope in you to work out a miracle. Keep fighting and you will surely win in the end.

It is well with you

There is no age that a person can't start his life all over again. 30 is not too late to pick up his life and make something good out of it. The fact that there is life is enough to prove to him that hope is not lost. A living dog is better than a dead lion.

I wouldn't know how well his parents still support him financially. For a short term goal, let him get a little fund from his parents to start a very small scale business like selling satchet/bottle water and some petty stuff to raise money for daily survival. While doing this, he should be saving for a bigger stuff. He can as well be doing daily labour job on construction sites to be making money. He shouldn't be thinking about shame at this level but making a better life for himself. In short, let him look around him and find something to do to become independent.

The money he raises from his daily hustle can be partly used to get education. He is not too old to go back to school, it is very important. Even if it is part time.

Above all, there is a place of God in every man's life which cannot be pushed away. Let him commit his ways unto God and draw nearer unto Him and he will prosper.

It is well with him

@Kulyie,

Could you please stop the exchange of these hot words? I read this story in the morning but didn't comment because I felt and still feel it is the imagination of the writer. I want to assume she is one of those scared at the mention of MIL.

Let me put somethings straight to you. There is no justification for paying people evil with evil as a christian. Search the scriptures, there is no where it is advised to repay evil with evil but good for evil. In relation with this fictional story, the story of David readily comes to mind. Despite all evil Saul did to David, he never repaid when he had the opportunity. He cautioned his boys and even said "How will I kill the annointed of God" (paraphrased).

Christianity is beyond attending church services. It entails asking oneself what will Christ do in every situation. If Jesus were to be in the position of the lady, would He had allowed the MIL to pass without doing what is right? There is no way you can justify the action of the lady. She acted wrongly. She sacrificed her internal peace for the external.

This I speak as a brother to a fellow in Christ, not with any intention to attack you.
Thanks

The history of this please...

2T1BR12E3YC314272

^^^^ What is the root cause of the depression?

I wouldn't buy if I were in your situation.

Is your father's house too far from your matrimonial home?


The 22yr old should be independent enough to stay on his own. This is the time he must learn self sustenance and independent living. If you are worried about him keeping bad company, staying with you will not deter him either if he has made up his mind to walk with them.


Nothing will happen to him staying alone. He will not be the first neither will he be the last staying alone as a 22yr old. All you need is to keep encouraging and advising him to choose a good way of living. I will advise that the 12 and 17 yr old are enough to stay with you. Your husband may not be complaining but since there's a place for him to stay, he shouldn't be added to the others.


Like you have been advised, do not abuse the opportunity given by your husband. Teach your siblings to accord him respect. Let them understand that when they are disciplined by him, they should not think it is because he is fending for them but because they have erred.

You have not stated what you need help from.

Like I had my doubt about the mileage. You are dealing with an odometer roll back. The car had been in two accidents in 2007 and 2008. The true mileage on the car is about 214K. Find below the summary of the vehicle's history.

Vehicle: 2005 Toyota Camry Base / LE / SE / XLE (4T1BE32K85U526303)

Event Date Event Location Odometer Reading Data Source Event Detail
12/20/2004

Independent Source VEHICLE MANUFACTURED AND SHIPPED TO DEALER
01/18/2005 BILLERICA, MA

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
01/18/2005 BILLERICA, MA

Motor Vehicle Dept. TITLED OR REGISTERED AS A RENTAL VEHICLE, OR PART OF A RENTAL FLEET
02/04/2005 BILLERICA, MA
7
Motor Vehicle Dept. TITLE (Title #:BB0385584)
02/03/2006 WATERTOWN, MA

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
02/17/2006 WATERTOWN, MA
18,520
Motor Vehicle Dept. TITLE (Title #:BC0828044) (Lien Reported)
02/17/2006 WATERTOWN, MA

Motor Vehicle Dept. TITLE (Title #:BC828044) (Lien Reported)
10/01/2006 WATERTOWN, MA

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
08/23/2007 NORWOOD, MA

Accident Source ACCIDENT OR VEHICLE DAMAGE REPORTED
08/23/2007 NEEDHAM, MA

State Agency ACCIDENT REPORTED (Case #:002261455)
04/04/2008 WATERTOWN, MA

Accident Source ACCIDENT OR VEHICLE DAMAGE REPORTED: FRONT CENTER
04/04/2008 NEEDHAM, MA

State Agency ACCIDENT REPORTED (Case #:002320767)
COLLISION WITH ANOTHER VEHICLE
10/01/2008 WATERTOWN, MA

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
10/01/2010 WATERTOWN, MA

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
10/01/2012 WATERTOWN, MA

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
03/31/2013 NEW ENGLAND REGION
214,537
Auto Auction REPORTED AT AUTO AUCTION
04/01/2013 NEW ENGLAND REGION
214,537 Last odometer reading
Auto Auction REPORTED AT AUTO AUCTION AS DEALER VEHICLE
04/13/2013 BOSTON, MA

Independent Source VEHICLE EXPORTED TO BENIN

Thanks

Please Help check this:

4T1BE32K85U526303

Thank you

^^^ Arsenal couldn't have tied any of those two. They were seeded as Arsenal.

amtheone: Hmmm. Will this girl be able to stand this. She is in her final year in Uni. She is already worried. I'm hoping that Waec will sort this out without much issue.

But bellong after u won did they issue u ur certificate and did it affect ur academic calender.

What do u think considering the fact that the girl is in her final year, if matter gets worst and has to go through court will it not affect her program. Will the school give her "special attention" pending when her case is resolved.

Our systems does not have human face (inhumane)

Pls throw more light. Thanks

What I did, when I sued WAEC, I joined the University in the suit so as to place an hold on the expulsion. Your lawyer will educate you more on this. Get an injunction from court to stop the university from expelling her pending the termination of the law suit against WAEC.

Because of the lazy judge my case was assigned to at the igbosere high court, it took us about 3yrs to complete the case. WAEC issued me a certificate because I won the case against them. The big problem here is the girl being in the final year, the school will definitely allow her to finish due to the court injunction but will not release her result until the case is resolved.

I will not discourage you to go to WAEC for mutual resolution but I am not sure the outcome. That place is an "institutional evil". It will be so easy for her if someone in her center had taken WAEC to court for same reason. In that case, they will just validate the result of everybody in the center. The South-west zonal coordinator told me then if it had been a year for which someone had sued and won WAEC on same issue, they would just issue me a certificate.

After going to WAEC for amicable resolution and it doesn't bring forth any positive solution, her only chance is the law court. There may be another avenue I do not know of anyway.

Hey, sorry to hear about your friend's ordeal. WAEC normally do that with no substantial reason.


I was once in that position. In my case, I was already in year 2 in the university. It was even the university's period checking of WAEC results that brought it to my knowledge because the school expelled me on that ground.


How did I resolve it? I took WAEC to court and won the case because WAEC had nothing against me to warrant their action.


I will suggest he does same. Going to their head office wouldn't solve problem. It will only compound it. I tried that too, met with regional and zonal coordinators. They only advised me to sit for another exam because they believe there was a good reason for my result to be cancelled about 4yrs after releasing the result.

The VIN can be found by looking at the dashboard on the driver's side of the vehicle. The easiest way to view it is to stand outside the vehicle on the driver's side and look at the corner of the dashboard where it meets the windshield. If the VIN cannot be found there, open the driver's side door and look at the door post (where the door latches when it is closed). It is likely that the VIN will also be displayed in this location. See the image attached

Ok

Post it in the Autos section and attach the pictures.

You should be more concerned about the service and maintenance history of the vehicle than the mileage.


A properly maintained and serviced vehicle is a good buy irrespective of mileage. You will be surprised that a car properly serviced and handled with a mileage of 180k will perform better and outlast one with 75k mileage not handled properly.


To answer your question, a 73k mileage vehicle is as good as buying a second order new car. Meanwhile, I doubt if that is the correct mileage and it is not a case of odometer roll-back.
Can you get the VIN no of the vehicle and post it here?

^^^^ He plays for Austria. I think he prefers that to playing for Nigeria where he may end up not being appreciated.

^^^ Very very pathetic.... There is nothing to do since the family are gullible not to press charges neither police curious enough to solve a crime.

slimyem: They were blaring sirens,expected him to slow down and make way for them. He wanted to but the gully in the middle of the road made it difficult for him to do that immediately.
That he didn't is enough to warrant anything from these unrestrained Nigerian armed men.

Op should be thankful they didn't do more than kick at him.

Thank you for clarifying that grey area. Well, there is nothing they can do since his dad doesn't have any info of them.

^^^ I want to assume you were part of the hit-squad from the way you confidently stated the missions of those cultist. If you have no idea about something, its better to keep quit than exposing your ignorance to the public.

Op,

The problem is complicated and institutional.

If you have ever entered police trouble before, you will know that an armed robber is a better friend compared to the police.

Before people can voluntary supply information without the fear of being roped into the case, the police must first gain the confidence of the population. How will you be encouraged to report to police when the previous one you reported landed you in trouble that took divine intervention to get off it.

Have you visited the forensic section of the NPF in Ikoyi before? It is as good as a collection office.

Your dad cannot identify the said guy nor did he take down his vehicle's number, what else can you do than to nurse your wound and thank God that he didn't go crazy to shoot your old man.

If there will be a next time, advise your dad to always take note of the vehicle's number of such scoundrels. Had it been government installed CCTV in all major roads, it would have helped your cause.

Sorry about the incident. But then you didn't tell us what your dad did to warrant such treatment. Except they are mad men walking, they just told your dad to come down without any provocation?

If that is the case, I am still in for government to do psychiatric evaluation of all road users.

^^^^^ Not those ones... I only made a statement and not particular about the lady in question. They may be few but there are still men of the spirit left. There will always be remnant in Isreal.

debrief08: I didn't make up my mind, I asked valid questions, and I oversee a parastatal and I say factually that most miracle babies in churches are from baby farms.
Most of the fake testimonies on fertility in churches are either purchased or silently from IVF.
I asked if the church was a lab?
Where do they produce babies from and dash people?
I will say it without mincing words, Pastors who promise babies have no right to do so.
God gives babies and not through agents.
God has helped Doctors and Lab Technicians identify problems and find solutions utilise it.
I also asked why oyibos who brought us religion are not jumping from prayer house to prayer house.

.

Though, the church may be bastardised that doesn't mean God is no longer perform miracles and that He doesn't use men anymore. The essence of spiritual gifts is for benefit of the church. Not all men have strong faith hence the need to join hands with either their pastors or brethren with like mind.

Do not let the fraudulent ones make you completely dismiss what God can do through his prophets. they will only pray for breakthrough and not give her baby as you think.

@Efe,

Its as if you described the boy in relation to your friend. We were the seniors then and the boy was in JSS 1. He would beg us to at least let him join in activities but na lie we no gree. Despite we were young, we couldn't come to terms with what that lively boy went through.


His death broke and affected me a lot. When we rushed him to the hospital in the middle of the nite, the senior boarding house master stayed with him and we left for hostel. The master himself broke into tears while breaking the news. Everybody loved the boy.


@OP,


Some decisions are taken without emotional sentiments. Tell her you are breaking up for obvious reasons. She will not die. She will get over it with time.

I hated some parents with passion while in secondary school. When I was in SS3, the school admitted a boy with sickle cell anaemia and was allowed to be a boarding student. I assumed the parents got tired of him. Hence, they dumped him in the hostel for us to take over.


This boy was such a lively and happy student. He was in my friend's house, so I always pay a visit there. Need I tell you that he had a permanent slot in the school clinic. Alas, in one of his crisis period, we rushed him to the hospital but that was his end. The event gave me a perfect understanding of the travails of sickle cell patients.


Our parents can be forgiven because most of them married without the prevalent medical knowledge of this age. It will be suicidal and wickedness on your part if you go ahead all because of emotions you called love. Infact, you will become guilty before God and Men to intentionally bring a child to suffer because you want to satisfy your emotional curiosity. What if the girl had left you before you discovered this, will you die?


Nevertheless, I believe in miracle. If this is what you want to bank on, its better you let the miracle happen before going ahead. Except you hear an express word from God.


If you do fail to heed to voice of reasonings, I only pity the innocent child that will be subjected to torture and not the trouble you will go through.


A word is enough for the wise.

Good info... am too lazy to be searching meaning of car logos... Thanks for the education.

I want to assume you understand the doctrines of Christ. If the church does not conform to the teachings of Christ, forget it. However, to give unto Ceaser his due, in cooperation with your husband, you can follow her.

I will implore you and your husband to know that the miracle you seek is right with you. Have you done all the necessary medical tests to ascertain a clean bill of health. If you have done it, do not panic babies will come soon.

Children are the heritage of God and He gives them in His own time.

Chillisauce: You work, you son hyper active, you feed , clothe, put him to bed, and you never pass out! Congratulation!! You just won the father of the yr award.

Now graduate to three hyperactive children, like i said without help and let me know if u will even have time nairalanding

Congratulations to you too that gets overburdened with children. You are not part of the OP's home, yet you keep dishing out judgement as if you know how he helps or does not help his wife.

Why give birth to three children if I can't handle them. Speak for yourself alone and do not generalize, especially if you have no idea of who the other person is.

Peace to you