Family / Re: My Daughter Is Nowhere To Be Found And My Parents Won't Tell Me The Truth by Bennysam: 1:09pm On Aug 30, 2023 |
Chizzy7890: I traveled to Togo against my parents wish in the year 2021 for a greener pasture I left behind my 3 years old daughter with my parents , although the reality I have seen in Togo was not as expected, but I was at least working and sending something home to my parents.
Communication was less because I couldn't afford to calls more often. I returned back home this august the 7th and my daughter was nowhere to be found.
My parents first lied to me that she was with my mum's sister that they will send someone to pick her up but to no avail. So myself I went to my mum sister house and my daughter wasn't there and she doesn't know where she was.
I asked my parents over and over again all I could get is insults from my dad , he is angry whenever i bring the subject and my siblings are not cooperating and they've refusing to tell me the truth.
I am sick and tired of asking and no getting any answers I am trying to be calm to avoid disrespecting my parents but I am loosing patience.
So many things is going throught my head I will have no option but to take things into my own hands and hurt my dad the outcome may be deadly ,
Please no insult how do I handle the situation without disrespecting my parents or do you think I should take the matter to the police ? You're indeed a useless child , what do you mean hurt your dad? Is he the only one in that house? Why can't you calm down and take things easy , A responsible woman won't left such child in the care of another person and go as far as Togo 2 Likes |
Romance / Re: My Experience Dating A Narcissistic Flirt by Bennysam: 3:47pm On Aug 28, 2023 |
Supreme145: I've been dating my girlfriend for over 18 months now and it has been a bumpy ride. One major I issue I have had with her has been her relationship with other men. She spends a lot of time in my place and each time we have issues her one stop solution is to go out and see other guys.
In fact 90% of our issues have come from this same relations with other men. When I complain she makes it look like I am insecure and overly jealous. I have made it known to her that it's wrong to go on dates with other guys when you are in my place especially when we have issues. She would always insist that they are just friends.
She recently got a job close to my house so she had to move in though she's barely at home cos the work is a 8am to 8pm job. She insisted on the job cos she would be able to learn her desired skills while been paid though the pay is very poor.
She would come home and gist me about how guys have been asking her out in her work place and all. Yesterday she even showed a number that a guy wrote for her on a piece of paper and asked her to call him. We later had a minor disagreement cos I saw her sitting on the floor trying to burst a boil on her laps, she started scolding me that I shouldn't be starting at a woman's private part like that, I pointed out that she had panties on and I was just concerned cos I saw something that looked like a drop of blood on the tiles. This resulted in an argument so I just ignored her.
I later observed her copying out the number given to her on her phone amidst other giggles while chatting with other guys online. I overheard her talking to a guy she just met about him coming to pick her up today so she could follow him to church and then go to work from there. This is someone that have never attended church anytime she costs even though a Catholic church is just a stone throw from my house. I voiced out my displeasure and she said I had no right to interfere in her business since I was giving her attitude.
It rained this morning so she couldn't go to church as planned but I am worried that I am dating a terrible flirt and this is someone I am thinking of getting married to. I had to chat her up at work to complain but she still saw nothing wrong with her relationship with other male folks and told me that I am just being insecure and anytime we have issues she would still leave the house cos she can't stay in a house with someone giving her attitude.
I told her I would no longer continue with the relationship since she sees her attitude as normal and she dosen't give me peace of mind which every man craves for. She started guilt tripping me and talking plenty but I already made up my mind. I can't deal with am unrepentant flirt.
Do you guys think I am over reacting?
You see a problem and you still want to fall into it, what are you still doing with a lier and a cheat 1 Like |
Romance / Re: My Client Just Bursted Me And I Admitted I’m A Nigerian by Bennysam: 7:25am On Aug 27, 2023 |
FOOTSOLDIER2:
He without a sin should cast the first stone, I was only shocked at the level of hatred other people have for Nigerians, wow. Stop justifying your criminal activities |
Romance / Re: My Client Just Bursted Me And I Admitted I’m A Nigerian by Bennysam: 7:25am On Aug 27, 2023 |
FOOTSOLDIER2:
I don’t have a choice sir, I have to hustle since there’s no job in the country God will punish you and your generation to come |
Romance / Re: Help, Redpill Eventually Damaged My Lovely Relationship by Bennysam: 5:42pm On Aug 26, 2023 |
1 Like |
Romance / Re: My Wife Has Set A Timetable For Sex For Me. What Do I Do? by Bennysam: 6:35pm On Aug 24, 2023 |
addmole: I and My wife have been married for 5 years. We are based here in Lagos. She's 35 years old. We are doing very okay and living comfortably. Since we got married, my wife hated sex so much. I am not even trying to sugarcoat this. She doesn't want to hear you talk about it or she does it. There's no one in the family that haven't tried to settle our differences since we got married. She was never like this when we were dating. It's been 1 issue to the other. She doesn't initiate sex, and when she does accept you to have sex, it's missionary style and it's just 1 round. Ah, me wey dey like knack wella. This woman begin change am for me. Lol. She doesn't want to hear you discuss sex.
Anyway sha, lets move on...
5 YEARS ago, her mum came to my house to kneel down and tell me I am stressing her daughter that I should not kill her with sex. Her then-unmarried sister then asked if I ama dog? Ah, insult. Anyway, I don forgive her. I spoke to my wife and told her what is the meaning of this? What kind of lies are you feeding your family with? This is the same person who happens to make just 1 round of sex. Just 1 round. She lies flat on her back. Once you are done, she quickly pushes you away if you stay on top of her for more than 10 to 15 minutes. There were times she would hit me if I try to initiate sex. I reported to her elder brother. He elder brother warned her. She stopped. She moved to kicking me anytime we initiate sex on bed, i reported to my pastor, he spoke to her and then, she stopped. My pastor told me i have to be patient with her. I said OK.
Omo... The only time we make love is just 1 round, missionary style and that's it. She says she has pain on her stomach. I have been patient for 5 years with her. I told her anytime she's strong enough, we can make out. That there's no problem.
I have been pressured to cheat on her many times. i HAVE BEEN REALLY PRESSURED. Its just not easy. Her family have insulted me for demanding sex from her. Lol. The thing tire me. I see no where i am demanding. We don't do any other position apart from the missionary style. We do not even kiss. This is a woman that doesn't want you to kiss in in anyway. Even sometimes, she shouts at you when you try to be romantic to kiss her unexpectedly just to spies up our love life. She doesn't even want you to cuddle her on bed. She wants to be alone. Make money, attend to her business, vibes, laugh with friends and family and that's it. When it comes to sex, don't go there discussing that with her about making out.
I even had to retort to preparing her mind for sex by sending her a position we would try on WhatsApp, she would leave the message on read and not respond. When you talk to her about what you sent to her, she would just tell you, she's not strong to make love.
ANOTHER PART OF HER: My wife is a very bitter person full of anger. If you try to tickle her when she's cooking in the kitchen to play with her, she gets angry and warns you not to try such. My wife doesn't want you to play with her. I am not writing all these to make it look I am a victim here. But all these are my experiences. I have to pour it out. I NEED SOME ADVICE.
There were many times, we agreed on separating. But we have already children and we used to think about these because the quarrels and the disrespect, sex and everything is causing a whole lot on us.
We do not have any form of healthy discussion very well. Before you know it, we are quarrelling over the place, she's shouting. There was a time we quarrelled that after throwing a Gotv remote at her, she fainted. She woke up before we got to the hospital. She almost died. I told her, she needs to stop her anger and control herself and enjoy her marriage. She just won't listen. She's an Edo woman.
I have tried many times to leave the marriage because it's affecting my mental health. Sometimes I regret about getting married to her. Sometimes, I just feel, maybe I CAN TRY MORE and give her a chance. When you call her to discuss our sex life, about her anger and bitterness, she doesn't apologise. She hardly apologise. Even when I get to explain her part on why she was wrong, she claims she's right until maybe someone hears us arguing before she would reluctantly apologise.
I have been battling a really starved sex life, full of a woman with bitterness, anger and pride who never apologise. She's quick to advice other women on Facebook, She would video call friends, give them advice and her family how they need to maintain peace with their relationship. But she never seem to give me respect in anyway in her own own. Hmmmm.
Recently, my wife brought out another timetable that she cannot cope making out with me the way she does. Which is 3 times a week. That she can only be available to make love 2 times a week. This 2 times is just 1 round each. This is how she wants it. I immediately responded to her that I feel her pain. I understand. She cannot be pressured just to make it look like she wants to please me that I would rather get a side chic. Yes, i know this was wrong to tell her, but i am frustrated. She disrespects me and starve me of sex and she's even bending the rules again. She responded that 'ok that I am free to do what i LIKE'.
i decided to bring this here to know the comments from people. I would like to get advice from persons who are going through similar things like this and advice me on what to do.
Some of you might say, call her and talk to her. I have done that several times since in the last 5years. I did it last night and twice today. I have spoken to her. She promised she would change, she would not only repeat the same thing but make things worst the next time.
She disrespects me a lot. I have sometimes left the house but come back after families get to call me. She would change for a week and return to her old self.
What do I DO? Please make your responses constructive enough. Investigate your her to know if she's giving it to another person |
Romance / Re: The Gender Based Issue And Its Not My Family Disease Of Nigerians by Bennysam: 2:34pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
If the reverse is the case you will still blame the man |
Family / Re: Why Do Marriages Get Boring After Sometime? � by Bennysam: 2:28pm On Aug 23, 2023 |
Truvelisback: Good day, fellas. Why do marriages get boring after sometime? 🤔 I.e The love or feelings begin to wax cold or boring unlike when you both started. That's when you know partners that really love each other 1 Like |
Family / Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Bennysam: 9:05pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
UnfairLife7: you go chop watery beans tire for kirikiri maximum prison. Na people like you plenty for there sha. You don't know anything 1 Like |
Family / Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Bennysam: 9:04pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: Now wait a minute.... is the best a man going through a hard time can do to turn his wife into a punching bag? It's never a good idea to leave the man a this point in time, he needs his wife though his attitude is bad at the moment, let her help him find solutions |
Health / Re: How Soon Does Lab Test Detect HIV Infection After Being Exposed? by Bennysam: 9:02pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
omejeb: Please how accurate can hiv test detect hiv within 10weeks of exposure...i have done two lab tests one at 3weeks after exposure then the other was at 10weeks after exposure.. Your test is accurate stop disturbing yourself |
Health / Re: How Soon Does Lab Test Detect HIV Infection After Being Exposed? by Bennysam: 8:57pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
omejeb: I have done about two tests within the window periods..the first was 3weeks after exposure then the other one I did was 10weeks after the exposure but all came out negative..but the lab scientist told me I have to come back for a confirmatory test in three months time and that should be next month...i don't know the chances of it still going to show negative...fear wants to kill me here 😪😪😪😪 Any test afte 7 weeks is 90 percent accurate |
Family / Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Bennysam: 8:46pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Kobojunkie: So why exactly do you feel guilty for having him arrested for 2 days? Would this all had gone better if he had taken to smashing your head after smashing everything else?
Now that you are obviously aware the man has taken to acting out violently, don't you think it makes sense at this point to distance yourself and your kids from him instead of worrying whether he is in speaking terms and if he has eaten or not? Please, separate yourself from that man asap. The space might do him a whole hell of good.. So you think the best thing to do to a man going through hard time is for his wife to leave him? What a terrible person you're |
Family / Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Bennysam: 8:43pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Verokeena:
It was more of a warning to him.. I didn't neglect him there.. he had access to his phone.. even though as first he wasn't taking my call but I kept texting him..
Now the thing is he was supposed to come out the next day but he refused. Said since I placed him there he'd wish to die there(emotional blackmail if you ask me)
I had to go with his friends to beg him the next day.. Hahaha your gut is what makes me wonder the kind of woman you're or the kind of wife you're to him |
Family / Re: The Guilt Of Locking My Husband Up For Two Days by Bennysam: 8:39pm On Aug 22, 2023 |
Verokeena: Good afternoon Nl family Please pardon my epistle
My husband lost his job two years ago and ever since he has been so reluctant on getting another.. not to brag but I can say I have been the one keeping the family going ever since the job incidence (not like I ever complained) .
What I noticed about him is he now drinks and smokes and he is always hissing (obviously he is not happy and I try to always console him just to elate his Spirit)
Fast forward to last two months.. I got back from work and I was very tired.. I had to go pick the kids from school , bathe them, feed them and to make matters worst I wasn't feeling too alright .. (when I got home he (my husband) wasn't at home)
When I was done with the kids and fixing the house I was so tired I thought to myself to take a lil nap that was how I slept off (and this was around 9pm) ..
He got back around 10pm obviously drunk and smelling like a skunk.. he went straight to the kitchen. That was how the whole problem started.. first was insult.. then my phone, smashed it on the ground later my clothes he started tearing them .. saying all those things he was destroying was why I was feeling untouchable that he knows I have male friends sleeping with me..
I tried securing my items so he doesn't destroy more things that was how he pounced on me..
The next day I got him arrested he spent two days there.. but now I feel so guilty... He doesn't talk to me anymore.. I have apologized times without number
I don't just know what to do...
Nb: even while he was there I was still taking food to him You're very lucky I'm not your husband because by now you will be writing this epistle from your grave , idiot |
Romance / Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by Bennysam: 9:30am On Aug 22, 2023 |
Blaze14k:
I have gone through her family and found out she's not osu. My family is saying everybody from arochukwu, ohafia, and Edda are all osu but it doesnt make any sense. Where are you from? I just want you to think deep to avoid had I know 1 Like |
Romance / Re: What's So Wrong With Sex And Childbirth Before Marriage by Bennysam: 9:22am On Aug 22, 2023 |
aisha1314: I honestly don't understand why in the 21st century, sex before marriage and children out of wedlock is still seen as something bad. It's like we're still in the stone age.
I personally have never seen anything wrong with either, though on some conditions. As long as people are responsible about sex by using condoms to prevent STDs if at risk and contraceptives to prevent pregnancy if not ready for a child I see nothing wrong with it.
And if someone who isn't married wants a child they should go ahead as long as they are ready, financially and otherwise to care for a child without help and becoming a burden on anyone.
I happily have sex with my boyfriend without any guilt or thoughts, though I'm on the pill to prevent myself becoming pregnant, because we can't have a child now.
Personally I don't ever want to get married, for my own personal reasons but I plan on having 1 or 2 children when I have a stable relationship and am financially ready.
I'm actually not religious, I'm not exactly an atheist but just not affiliated with any religion. Maybe I'm a little agonistic in my beliefs but religion doesn't factor into any decision I make. So because you're in 21st century you also lost your sense of dignity 1 Like |
Romance / Re: How Do You Guys See This? by Bennysam: 9:19am On Aug 22, 2023 |
smalldivk111: I stay with my parents but in a separate self contain that I stay alone… sometimes I do bring girls to spend time with me now yesterday I brought a girl and the screenshot below is what my mother sent to me
I’m an adult I think I have a right to do what I want since I didn’t bring the lady to the house they live in,, they just heared our voices and started saying shit
Is it right?
You don't have regard for your parents, what stupid adult are you talk about? Give your parents respect they deserved |
TV/Movies / Re: Big Brother All-stars: Kiddwaya Evicted by Bennysam: 5:46pm On Aug 21, 2023 |
Memphitz357:
You're the dumbest idiot for watching the show!! This is how people will hate whatever you do , this is how people will talk down on your hustle , stop destroying people's hustle in the name of hate |
Romance / Re: Women Cheat More Than Men In 2023 (opinion) by Bennysam: 11:40am On Aug 21, 2023 |
Enny2013: Some women hate to cheat,but men taught them. Some cheat for revenge. Bleep cheating, anyways!! I have never see a Nigeria woman take responsibility for her actions , Always blame men |
Romance / Re: My Fiancee Is Pregnant For Another Guy by Bennysam: 11:13am On Aug 21, 2023 |
Greattestman: What are you saying? If I had married her earlier, I would have raised another man's children. Don't listen to those idiot advising you to marry her |
Romance / Re: My Fiancee Is Pregnant For Another Guy by Bennysam: 11:12am On Aug 21, 2023 |
Greattestman: I started noticing some strange behaviors in my fiancee recently, but nevermind because nothing concrete. Two weeks ago, I stumbled on one of her friends and the friend told me my fiancee went to hospital, I was surprised because normally she supposed to have informed me about it because she always does. I still didn't mind but when I asked her she denied and said she went to visit a friend. Last week I decided to go and visit her mother and the mother told me that my fiancee wants to abort my child, I was shocked! My child? Is she pregnant? When? How? To whom is she pregnant for? This lady lied to her family members that it was mine but never for once had we touched each other for sexual satisfaction. She suggested that sex between us was until after marriage but was satisfying herself somewhere. The mother was shocked to learn that the pregnancy was not mine. I met my fiancee to talk, at first she denied but when I let her knew her mom told me everything, she started apologizing. I told her I have nothing against her but we can't marry again, she's still apologizing but the truth is that I have lost all appetite for marriage and relationship. I will not hurt myself again. And I have to admit that this is my last relationship. It really surprised me , how can a girl tell you no sex till after marriage and you agree , A Nigeria girl 1 Like |
Romance / Re: My Fiancee Is Pregnant For Another Guy by Bennysam: 11:09am On Aug 21, 2023 |
Greattestman: I started noticing some strange behaviors in my fiancee recently, but nevermind because nothing concrete. Two weeks ago, I stumbled on one of her friends and the friend told me my fiancee went to hospital, I was surprised because normally she supposed to have informed me about it because she always does. I still didn't mind but when I asked her she denied and said she went to visit a friend. Last week I decided to go and visit her mother and the mother told me that my fiancee wants to abort my child, I was shocked! My child? Is she pregnant? When? How? To whom is she pregnant for? This lady lied to her family members that it was mine but never for once had we touched each other for sexual satisfaction. She suggested that sex between us was until after marriage but was satisfying herself somewhere. The mother was shocked to learn that the pregnancy was not mine. I met my fiancee to talk, at first she denied but when I let her knew her mom told me everything, she started apologizing. I told her I have nothing against her but we can't marry again, she's still apologizing but the truth is that I have lost all appetite for marriage and relationship. I will not hurt myself again. And I have to admit that this is my last relationship. Wait you still call her fiance? |
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Romance / Re: My Girlfriend Is Pregnant And I Am Jobless With No Cash by Bennysam: 10:54am On Aug 21, 2023 |
BelittlePaul: FELLOW NAIRALANDERS,Abeg i need una help oooo, my girlfiriend went for a scan this week and it was revealed that she is pregnant Na boredom sef cause make we do the thing oo and i don't even have a job now, please i need una help make God provide job before she born as ABORTION IS NOT EVEN IN MY AGENDA AT ALLLLL, Abeg nothing is too small to support from my good heart PalmPay 9113038350 Adiela Messiah Thank you
This money you are begging for what will you do with it? Abortion or feeding ? I want to understand |
Romance / Re: In Ilorin For A Few Days, Any Fun Place To Hang Out? by Bennysam: 9:45pm On Aug 20, 2023 |
quslit: My guys and I are in Ilorin for a few days this week. Any fun place to hang out and meet decent guys and girls? Thanks fam. No go pay with your head ooo , my hand no dey am that place full of ritualis |
Romance / Re: Help!!! I don't want to lose this girl by Bennysam: 9:41pm On Aug 20, 2023 |
Matix222:
Guy distance relationship
Your mind go day las las 😅 E sure say no be one idiot dey play am maga 1 Like |
Romance / Re: How Do I Deal With Heartbreak Pls. by Bennysam: 9:39pm On Aug 20, 2023 |
brightmorningst: For 3 days I've only sleep well for 2 hours and that was yesterday. I have not been eating , just lost appetite, please how do I deal with heartbreak.
My heart literally burns.
No insult please. What happened? |
Romance / Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by Bennysam: 9:38pm On Aug 20, 2023 |
Persephone1: While this looks very pleasing to read, I won't advice a lady to get married into a family she's not wanted. Except of course the husband wants to cut ties and she won't have to deal with inlaws ever (which is very unrealistic and unreasonable).
Too much stress for nothing. Still it's not advisable because the war will never end 2 Likes |
Romance / Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by Bennysam: 9:36pm On Aug 20, 2023 |
Blaze14k:
I know about osu but no one ever told me these places are forbidden but is this true? Think about what your kids will go through in the future |
Romance / Re: My Mum Is Strongly Rejecting The Girl I Want To Marry by Bennysam: 9:35pm On Aug 20, 2023 |
dawnomike: It is quite a serious matter... The reasons there giving is not strong enough for me.
If you think your lady is worth the stress and war, stand your ground!!!
If she's not worth the wahala, please, he'd to your elders Really OSU is not strong reason enough? Are you sure you're from igbo land? 1 Like |