₦airaland Forum

Kwinesther:
Where in my post did I talk about an already made man? All those things I mentioned above are made for women even our grandmothers in their 80's uses those things so what has being 30 and desperate has to do with what I said? You are talking off point and it's high time you men erased this mentality of a woman being desperate at 30 and stop using it as a threat, you think this generation of ladies really care about marriage like 10 to 20 years back? It seems you don't even know what is going on around you.

So it's the generation of men we have now that are not seeing more than shege? Which gender wails, wallow and complain on this forum the most?

The reason men wail more on this forum is because they were taught monogamy. As I speak I hv 40 wives and 750 girlfriends.... so I never wail

Kwinesther:
Where in my post did I talk about an already made man? All those things I mentioned above are made for women even our grandmothers in their 80's uses those things so what has being 30 and desperate has to do with what I said? You are talking off point and it's high time you men erased this mentality of a woman being desperate at 30 and stop using it as a threat, you think this generation of ladies really care about marriage like 10 to 20 years back? It seems you don't even know what is going on around you.

So it's the generation of men we have now that are not seeing more than shege? Which gender wails, wallow and complain on this forum the most?

Being 30 and desperate isn't a threat its advice in love. The beauty of a woman actually expires on her 27th birthday.... she's still beautiful but she can't negotiate lifetime exclusivity at that age.....

NigeriaIsGreat:
acquiring university degree isn't synonymous to richness or making money

If you are a Man, it is expected of you to shoulder the financial responsibility provided you chose to get married. If otherwise, it is expected of you to remain single and chaste. No crime in doing that

The dick inbetween our legs isn't just for fun but RESPONSIBILITY

Ur just a simp talking nonsense.... go and shoulder all the responsibility and die b4 ur time for a non virgin and die before ur time and leave woke men alone....

Simran94:
What is this one saying? Did the girl ask the guy for money or did she tell him how much he should spend from his money? You better read the post from the beginning and understand before you be jumping into incoherent conclusions.

Which women go see shege? Except the ones wey no dey work, na dem go see shege because you cannot tell a working class lady how much she should be spending from her own salary.

If you cannot tell a working class lady how much she should be spending from her own salary then likewise for the guy...

This takes us back to:

1. Let the man live in his own house.
2. Let the woman live in her own house.

Then they both visit themselves and stay over in each others houses some nights.... dats it.

Since everyone wants to do selfish and tough.

NigeriaIsGreat:
Sir you are getting all these wrong. Education is a right and not a privilege

She was sent to school to be educated and not for economy reason

Define "education".... and what is the difference between university education which you crave and other forms of education. Una go just dey talk....anyway I'm done wichu....

Nigerians believe until uve reached university dat u never go school this believe is flawed....

Abroad most ppl don't go to university some just do college or learn a trade.....

Lordedifice1:
You have said it all God bless you
The OP headache is just how much the lady can bring, and the lady was wise enough to run, because he might end marrying her it would become a depressive problem. I regard the OP as a stingy man
My father never told my mother how she should contribute my father took care of all responsibilities in the house,so this OP like i said is a stingy man in fact he's not even a man because a man doesn't count all this a man does he's thing without any help that's what a man is. He doesn't even value the marriage rather he's giving terms and conditions as if it is a contract marriage. OP better Change and man up no woman will accept any marriage with terms and conditions.

The economy has changed ur fathers time isn't the same as now.... if economy goes bk to ur fathers time then women are asked to stop bringing.....

NigeriaIsGreat:

Bros, Men don't marry educated ladies so she could work and earn something. No! You completely got it wrong sir!

Men prefer marrying educated ladies basically so she can help in raising a good home and support the children in school assignment, PTA meetings etc. Men prefer educated ladies so she would be presentable in the public and capable of expressing herself freely

Men go for educated ladies so she would be smart enough in taking decision on her own without waiting for her hubby as the alpha and omega

Men prefer educated ladies so she would be smart enough in knowing her right and cannot be cheated outside

Your point is completely flawed sir!

Pls come and give me N100000 for my upkeep this month....as ur new wife.... I'm presentable tho hold a degree....

NigeriaIsGreat:

Bros, Men don't marry educated ladies so she could work and earn something. No! You completely got it wrong sir!

Men prefer marrying educated ladies basically so she can help in raising a good home and support the children in school assignment, PTA meetings etc. Men prefer educated ladies so she would be presentable in the public and capable of expressing herself freely

Men go for educated ladies so she would be smart enough in taking decision on her own without waiting for her hubby as the alpha and omega

Men prefer educated ladies so she would be smart enough in knowing her right and cannot be cheated outside

Your point is completely flawed sir!

Any person with secondary school educationis already educated. Some go on to colleges and polytechnics but u don't need both or uni to be "educated"....

Did her parents send her to school for PTA and presentability primarily? NO. Her parents sent her to school primarily so that she would be financially independent afterwards.

Look each to their own....if u believe in the old marriage model then good fir u...pls add me among ur wives so u can be giving me moni too....I will do chores and take care of the babies....

ivolt:
She has the right to reject any proposal she doesn't like. She owes him nothing as he is just a boyfriend. She didn't run, she rejected
an unreasonable proposal.
If you are a business person, you would know there are some proposals you do not negotiate because
they are inherently unfair and they tell you a lot about the consequences of going into a partnership with
the proponent.

Even though this story is fiction, the woman is definitely smart and has healthy self-esteem.
A desperate and deceptive one would have agreed to whatever arrangement then change after marriage
and maybe a kid or two.

Marriage contract begins even b4 the wedding ceremony itself.... so she rejected the financial proposal in wife capacity....

I agree with u on desperate and deceptive woman bit

UyaiIncomparabl:
Cheers to a lonely long life.

There is a constant stream of young girls and aged desperate girls over 35 that will keep him company without commitment....

So his life won't be lonely at all....

He can even decide to have 100 girlfriends + 5 wives..... how'd that a lonely life??

Biggie2000:
So, you agree that wifely duties can be bought with money? Yes or No? Please, no long talks, it's just a yes or no question.

My dear wife duties can be bought with money.... the only wife duty that can't be bought with moni is maternal natal care - breast feeding and genuine child care....

Na absolute Christianity were bring us monogamy....rich men of old married many wives and outsourced wife duties.

NigeriaIsGreat:
Bros are you kidding with what you just said? Like you literally sounded like you are doing her a favour marrying her

Go and pay for surrogacy or adopt and save yourself all these sharing of responsibility

When a man marries a woman she comes into his house and is provided food and shelter/ comfort esp if the man lives in ikoyi, asokoro etc....

The wife is a university graduate this means she can work and make money in her field.... hence she should work, make her own moni and support herself....

That's why men prefer graduates who work to support themselves (not give me her money (I don't need it) or "contribute" cos I don't need her money/contribution), but she should spend her moni on her self..... and on her children wen children comes (doesn't have to be a large amountt)....

Babes only do wats convenient for them....don't encourage narcissism in ladies....

Maybe one day the husband becomes rich a d might even ask her to stop working

Hammyaladin:
. Nothing like black people here. America is behind the whole bruhahaha.


Stop hating your colour

Well said....America and France....

NigeriaIsGreat:
Naturally some Men want their wife to be full time house wife and that doesn't make you who want a career woman better off, vice versa.

You don't dictate to women what to do inorder to contribute to the upkeep of the family. You as the man should be responsible enough in footing the house upkeep and watch how things goes. Even in developed world, women aren't compelled or dictated to contribute in the house upkeep. I'm not a religious person but it is the responsibility of men to toiled around to provide for the family while women ensure the home is peaceful. Women sacrifice/risk their during pregnancy and childbirth for the child/ren that would end up bearing your surname and you are here asking what benefit do men derived in marrying their wives.

Those women you claimed they must have had multiple body count with series of abortion. Please who are responsible for all that? Do they slept with themselves or someone was responsible?

You asked what benefits would a man get marrying a woman or something? The last time i checked women don't begged men to come marry them. Even as corrupt as the world is today. Most men run after women for marriage. Having known that they got no benefit in marrying them. Why initiating that? Why running after them? Why not remain single? You could adopt as a young man provided you could get domestic staff to help in the chores

I'm a man like you, but probably differ in age and experience. The responsibility bestowed on women in raising a family isn't easy sir. Women does a whole lot from pregnancy, child birth, nurturing the child amidst sleepless night, cleaning, washing, doing the laundry and many more. How many men of this generation support their wives in house chores please be honest with yourself? Some men even sees it as a taboo or crime entering the kitchen to cook. Some Men don't even know how to boil water. Whereas, every average Nigerian lady are nurtured to be responsible in raising a family. Show me a lady who doesn't know how to cook nor do house chores let me show you millions of men who doesn't know how to lift their fingers. You men of this generation assume money is just everything. No sir! Some men are craving for women who would help them build their home

Some Men are craving for women who would give them peace. Some Men are craving for women who would be faithful, loyal and committed to them

Stop looking for women who would help you share your responsibility as a man. Would you help her carry her pregnancy? Do you mind sacrificing or risking your life for a child who would bear another person's surname? Would you share the house chores with her completely?

See provided you married someone who's working or ready to work or doing business. You need not dictating to her what to bring to the house. It doesn't sound well seriously. It makes you less of a man. Trust me she'd do that provided you are responsible enough. Would you also tell her to contribute in paying her bride price and other marital rite?

Imagine Op telling her to contribute for their vacation. Na by force be vacation? You aren't capable of taking your family out for vacation yet, why not get that?

It is well o

There's nothing like "responsibility as a man".... that's based on the old model of marriage...

Every man that marries a woman provides her with shelter and food....

Everything else she wants she should provide for herself....because she is a university graduate and can work....

NigeriaIsGreat:
Naturally some Men want their wife to be full time house wife and that doesn't make you who want a career woman better off, vice versa.

You don't dictate to women what to do inorder to contribute to the upkeep of the family. You as the man should be responsible enough in footing the house upkeep and watch how things goes. Even in developed world, women aren't compelled or dictated to contribute in the house upkeep. I'm not a religious person but it is the responsibility of men to toiled around to provide for the family while women ensure the home is peaceful. Women sacrifice/risk their during pregnancy and childbirth for the child/ren that would end up bearing your surname and you are here asking what benefit do men derived in marrying their wives.

Those women you claimed they must have had multiple body count with series of abortion. Please who are responsible for all that? Do they slept with themselves or someone was responsible?

You asked what benefits would a man get marrying a woman or something? The last time i checked women don't begged men to come marry them. Even as corrupt as the world is today. Most men run after women for marriage. Having known that they got no benefit in marrying them. Why initiating that? Why running after them? Why not remain single? You could adopt as a young man provided you could get domestic staff to help in the chores

I'm a man like you, but probably differ in age and experience. The responsibility bestowed on women in raising a family isn't easy sir. Women does a whole lot from pregnancy, child birth, nurturing the child amidst sleepless night, cleaning, washing, doing the laundry and many more. How many men of this generation support their wives in house chores please be honest with yourself? Some men even sees it as a taboo or crime entering the kitchen to cook. Some Men don't even know how to boil water. Whereas, every average Nigerian lady are nurtured to be responsible in raising a family. Show me a lady who doesn't know how to cook nor do house chores let me show you millions of men who doesn't know how to lift their fingers. You men of this generation assume money is just everything. No sir! Some men are craving for women who would help them build their home

Some Men are craving for women who would give them peace. Some Men are craving for women who would be faithful, loyal and committed to them

Stop looking for women who would help you share your responsibility as a man. Would you help her carry her pregnancy? Do you mind sacrificing or risking your life for a child who would bear another person's surname? Would you share the house chores with her completely?

See provided you married someone who's working or ready to work or doing business. You need not dictating to her what to bring to the house. It doesn't sound well seriously. It makes you less of a man. Trust me she'd do that provided you are responsible enough. Would you also tell her to contribute in paying her bride price and other marital rite?

Imagine Op telling her to contribute for their vacation. Na by force be vacation? You aren't capable of taking your family out for vacation yet, why not get that?

It is well o

Women beg rich men and real men for marriage

Ladycewhy:
Lol guy nor be force na ,the lady say she nor want. Make op go type the proposal dey give every lady till e find who go jump at the deal.

See,I will not want a son in-law like the op, that's on God.if she is alone she will make her expenses based on her 80k nor be say you go say make she dey save for vacation abroad with her 80k ,yet there is no guarantee that one day you will not throw her out with nothing but her wrapper on her waist.


If na abroad where there is alimony and child support I will ask her to grab the deal ,but not in Nigeria.

She can use her 80k to take care of herself... I support dat. But if she wants kids and the nan wants too she should drop an amount per child even if na 5k or 10k per month.... it doesn't hv to be a large amount but she has to drop something as it shows "we are in this together" and is evidence of her love for her husband.

wirinet:
They don't bring much to the table? Ok let's analyse this table.
Child bearing - You think bearing children that carries half your DNA and your family name is not bringing much to the table?
If you go for surrogacy and pay women to carry your baby for 9 month and birth them. How much do you think you will pay a surrogate to give you 3 children?

Sex - how much do you think paid sex with a commercial sex worker would cost you? If an all night casts N10k and you have sex an average of twice a week, how much will that cost you at the end of 10 years?

Child care. - if you were to pay a house girl or child care services to take care of your children, how much do you think it will cost you per month?

Cooking - how much will you pay a chef to cook food for you and your children on a monthly basis? I have not even added going to the market.

What about house keeping and washing of cloths?

Fine analysis I love this!

franchasng:
His girlfriend must be a No nonsense chick, no time to deliberate or even argue, just japa

That's because she's in her early/mid 20s and still has bargaining power with men (youthful appearance)...

Ladycewhy:
While she uses the rest to fund her husband's 300k taste?

No na what she does with her moni is her business.... I don't look to a woman's money and her money is her business.... but she just has to make a reasonable financial contribution to the house that's all.... its easy to do these days she can sell on Jumia from home or take an online work from job..

franchasng:
Oga Bashiru, wait until you marry one fine chick with big ukwu, na you go even give her all your ATM and the PIN

@ ur last sentence that's the big problem of men. They marry ukwu and legs and regret it all their life....

dmostcheerful:
If you need a peaceful home oga, first of all remove the mentality of a woman helping financial wise.
Raising kids is no child's play, I have 2 already I dey hear am.
Waking by 4:30am, while everyone else is sleeping is just enough sacrifice, coming back from work doing chores why your husband watches T.V is enough mental stress.
I keep saying it, let a woman helping financially be voluntarily why a man helping at home be voluntarily.
That is if you want a peaceful home which should be a man's number one priority in life if you want to live long.
I have dropped my 2cent

Nobody said a woman must "help financial wise".... I'm saying:

1. A woman must use her own money to take care of her self. Because she has a degree and can work.

2. Make a reasonable financial contribution towards child care no matter how small for they are her children too.... I think N25,000 per month per child is reasonable regardless of her salary...0.I don't care if she makes N1million per month just make a statutory financial contribution dats all.

3. As the guy I help with childcare too... and chores no big deal...


Bottom line is women don't like stress... I don't hv a problem with that.... but then again the guy must not be used or feel used.... same for the woman she must not be or feel used.

Ladycewhy:
water and NEPA bill for an 80k earner is different from that of a 300k earner's budget.

If she was making her budget with 80k do you think she will have appliances or stay in an area for big men with big utility bills? .


Na 300k earner utility bills she go dey pay o,have that in mind.

An 80k earner should be able to use 30-40% of her income to take care of herself and meet her statutory financial obligations in the home....

wildikeman:
Anywhere black people govern is always a shithole. USLESS race

This is not true. Its allegedly French interference.... the French alldgeedly tried to attack the presidents of Mali, Madagascar and Haiti

Mouth Gig:
BLACK PEOPLE

It's France doing all this they say. Blacks are just as great as whites....

franchasng:
Lol, my wife was only wondering why I don't ask how much she earns or if she got promoted. What prompted this was a time she got promoted from being a House Officer (what Nigerians call Doctor lol) to a full Doctor kind of. She was trying to explain the hierarchy in medical field, how they move till they become a full consultant, but she noticed I wasn't paying much attention or asking if it comes with pay rise. Honestly I have never envisaged myself pondering over a woman's income right from when I was a young single man. My heart has always been fixed on making plenty money cos I used to cherish reading about rich men, and coupled with my observation of some of my successful elder brothers, I developed my mentality about being sole provider of my marriage.



I know my wife is a highly disciplined and responsible lady and I trust she will be investing her income wisely. At least I am aware when she told me she wanted to open a bank account for our son shortly after he was born. As at then, I was aware she paid in 500k. So I don't need to bother about her income or career.


On the part of the Op, his mentality about marriage in Nigeria setting is flawed. This is Nigeria not UK or US or Canada. If you want peace and harmony in your marriage, remove eye from your wife's income and pray to God to make you sufficient enough to take care of all your family needs without relying on your wife's income. This is what I desire and what I will teach my son.



My mother was a hustler, she in fact hustled more than my father growing up, but as I grew up to an adult, I never wished my own wife to hustle and overwork like my mother, women are not created for that. The first reason God made woman for a man is emotional companionship, then as a helpmate not an equal mate to share burden with. She is only there to support you and not to share everything equally with you like gender equality proponents in the western world want.

If a woman is providing for her self and her needs and fulfills her statutory financial obligations to her home then no man cares about her finances or wat she does with her moni. Nepa bill water electricity - these are things she uses too....

The man pays rent/mortgage and other heavy stuff.

Seems like a fair deal to me....

UyaiIncomparabl:


I have that covered. I have so many of your genders under my armpit. I use and dump them like papers.

Good for you then. Have them under your arm pit while it lasts....

Make hay while the sun shines.

franchasng:
That is it. This is where Nigerian guys are getting it wrong completely.


Let's ask the Op, did he also share how they will be washing the plates, cooking, doing laundry, lawn, mopping the floors, bathing the babies, feeding the babies, cutting vegetables for soup, and disposing the waste bin?


Modern Naija guys want a wife that will share financial burden with them but don't want to share house chore responsibility with her, no be juju be that

Guys hv been washing plates, changing bins cleaning etc as bachelors and guys like me continue even after marriage.... no big deal...

franchasng:
Everything must not be written down like relationship experts make you guys believe lol.



Why must he sit the young girl down to start telling her how they will share expenses when he hasn't even married her yet? No be juju be that? Are we in Amelikaa?


If I happen to have a daughter tomorrow and she tells me that her boyfriend raised such a topic, I will tell her to delete his number because he is not serious, in fact, he is a gold digger. This is sign of male gold digger

He sat her down to tell her all that because HD doesn't want divorce....and argument everyday.... and it yielded result.... she walked away now....

Assuming he didn't do that he would be divorced wen he goes into the marriage...

dmostcheerful:
During the time of or fore fathers that was how it is.
A woman stays at home rare kids, do chores take care of the husband why the man provide for the family.
Do we hear anything about divorce then?
That was Christ intention for the family, husband toil and provide for the family wife suffer and bear kids, how has it been going?
Before selfish beings like you who won't do nothing at home but expect a woman to help you conditionally financially.
Some of you forget your wife's even have family before they met you.
It's always about you all, your type don't even know how to dress the bed you wake up from.

Problem with Christians be say una go just dey talk IDEALISTIC talk. The economy has changed. The marriage contract has changed as well....

See, a woman isn't helping a man financially biko.

If u read wat the op wrote u will see he is paying rent and paying the majority of all major expenses so she's actually helping herself...

Women just like men are selfish and don't want stress. U want the man to provide .... did u give him virginity?? Did u give him good character?? Did you give him a peaceful home?? In what ways do you make his life easier??

You no send all those wants all u want is he must provide.

Selfish beings....

UyaiIncomparabl:
My own is, don't force me to contribute. I know what to do.

If u can't contribute then go for a rich man.... but don't forget u hv until the end of ur 26th birthday to find a richman if u also want exclusivity from him...

franchasng:
Lol, my wife was only wondering why I don't ask how much she earns or if she got promoted. What prompted this was a time she got promoted from being a House Officer (what Nigerians call Doctor lol) to a full Doctor kind of. She was trying to explain the hierarchy in medical field, how they move till they become a full consultant, but she noticed I wasn't paying much attention or asking if it comes with pay rise. Honestly I have never envisaged myself pondering over a woman's income right from when I was a young single man. My heart has always been fixed on making plenty money cos I used to cherish reading about rich men, and coupled with my observation of some of my successful elder brothers, I developed my mentality about being sole provider of my marriage.



I know my wife is a highly disciplined and responsible lady and I trust she will be investing her income wisely. At least I am aware when she told me she wanted to open a bank account for our son shortly after he was born. As at then, I was aware she paid in 500k. So I don't need to bother about her income or career.


On the part of the Op, his mentality about marriage in Nigeria setting is flawed. This is Nigeria not UK or US or Canada. If you want peace and harmony in your marriage, remove eye from your wife's income and pray to God to make you sufficient enough to take care of all your family needs without relying on your wife's income. This is what I desire and what I will teach my son.



My mother was a hustler, she in fact hustled more than my father growing up, but as I grew up to an adult, I never wished my own wife to hustle and overwork like my mother, women are not created for that. The first reason God made woman for a man is emotional companionship, then as a helpmate not an equal mate to share burden with. She is only there to support you and not to share everything equally with you like gender equality proponents in the western world want.

The proposal of the op is a helpmeet proposal not equal mate. You seem to be a religious nut job that feeds off judo Christian idealism. The action of the opgirlfrienf clearly demonstrates she is not helpmeet..... most women actually aren't helpmeet and only do what is convenient for them.

NoToPile:
At least the OP is or what the OP placed is not responsibility?

No. Read it properly.... the op proposed to foot every major expenditure- rent, expensive food stuff and whatever op proposed she pay like dstv or nepa d woman also uses. The ops girlfriend is selfish and entitled. Not cool....