₦airaland Forum

NoToPile:
@bolded Preach it louder.

No one is placing any responsibility on a woman....all we are saying is that she went to university and therefore should be responsible for herself and her needs....I.e. she shouldn't be asking the husband for moni she will spend on herself...

LagosInter:
Why is your wife working? Because working will still lead to negligence and dereliction of duties at home.

Why doesn't she just stay at home and take care of chores?

Before I got married, I wake up, clean, cook, go to work and come back. At weekend I cook and clean.... entering into marriage I still cook for myself and wife and clean weekends and still go to work....

nobone:
Personally, i am willing and always ready to give my 100% to my family as i do not have any sibblings or parents to cater for as they are all okay within themselves.
But you see when a spouse begins to tell me how we will share the bills monthly, dear, you put me off and i guess that's why the babe ran. She was seeing the future and you were seeingthe present. What if things turn and she doesn't have a job again? You will nlw be doing things grudgingly...by then you would have had more kids, more expenses, anger will set in...domestic violence will ensue etc.

Just allow me, every month, i will take care of everything i can. you may not bother to touch your own salary as we will make bigger plans and investments with that so that we won't suffer at old age or perhaps when things aren't rosy anymore .. If that husband is very transparent and open to me o". But if you ain't straight foward with me.... we go dey do ourselves. My own take.

The agreement is not set in stone.... its just meant to prevent arguments since many guys don't like arguments.... if she loses her job then the guy will foot everything and help her get back on track ASAP.

HellVictorinho3:
The man is not meant to get anything except respect in return for the provision.



Good morning, sir.

Then ur living in a delusion. Men are simply stupid while women used marriage contract and bible verses to their advantage.... in return for provision men are entitled to:

1. Youth and fertility. No 34 year old wives as of their wedding date pls.
2. No nagging, quarrels and a peaceful home.
3. A good character and bringing up the kids in a godly way.
4. Sex on demand or the agreement that he can get sex from his girlfriends.

fergie001:
SOURCE


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Po3VXg4bSU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsIFOityD2Y

It has been said that it will not be well with France the alleged mastermind and perpetrators of all these crimes crimes.

franchasng:
My candid advice to the Op and to all single guys who wish to marry and have a peaceful, loving and healthy marriage is this:



So long as you and your wife live in Nigeria, please remove that mentality of sharing family upkeep with your wife. Just work hard and pray to God to empower you financially enough to cater for your wife and family without relying on your wife's income.


The rate of divorce in western countries is too high compared to that in Nigeria and part of the reason is their practice of gender equality in almost everything.


Follow Bible teachings about marriage and you won't have issues.



From the Bible, read from the book of Genesis during creation of man, God didn't create man and woman the same day.


God first created everything that a man would need to live a worthy life and then He created man and put him in charge of everything he created on earth.


God Himself observed man and noticed that even though man had everything he needed materially, he was still lonely whenever he returns back to his abode after the days work, so God decided to create a helpmate and companion for the first man Adam.



So the first purpose of a woman in a man's life is companionship and not to help the man to create wealth or share family burdens or expenses. The woman is firstly there to keep you company emotionally. That's why men all over the world are ready to spend their last kobo to get a woman to make love to, it is nature at work not that women have more emotional control than men, it is nature that made men emotionally vulnerable than women such that a man melts at the sight of woman's naked body but most women will even get irritated at the sight of a man's naked body unless they are already emotionally attached to that man somehow.



Adam was rich and had everything he needed before God made him fall asleep and used his rib to make a woman for him and Adam saw Eve and cherished her because she was so beautiful to his delight.


So the first quality a man notices in a woman is her physical beauty before any other thing.



Follow Bible teachings and not man made civilized laws that failed in western countries.



Gender equality is a scam.


Man and woman can never be equal. Each gender have their God assigned role, play yours with joy and you will enjoy this life.



Me I am happy to be the sole provider in my marriage.


My wife works and earns well I guess but I have never needed her to bring a dime and it has never stopped me from expanding and living a happy life.


My wife one day asked me why I don't even bother about her job or career, like what she earns and whether she gets promoted. I told her, my dear, I don't think it's necessary but I know you get plenty money na and it's good for the family, at least I am sure you will invest a lot for your kids.


One thing I know is that, she never tells me about her relative needing any money, I only do Christmas for her dad once a year and on Easter and Father's day. And I am sure she do spend on them from her own income. Aside that, I take care of everything, including her personal shopping. Most times I fuel the car she uses to go to work. I do these things with joy. If she decides to stop working tomorrow, I won't pressure her. But I love the fact that she is working so she can be mentally fit and financially responsible cos I noticed housewives are usually dull and financially irresponsible.


So guys please remove your eyes from your wifes income. If things go bad financially for you which nobody should pray for, believe me, she will come through, forget what you read online, most ladies do help their husband's financially when he is down. Some are even the breadwinners of their family. So it's not as if all Nigerian ladies that got married depend solely on their husband. Some are breadwinners. Some share financial responsibility with their hubby willingly.



Not all our ladies are leeches abeg

What does the man get in return for the provision? Stop being scared of the bible and being overly religious and face the secular facts....

ejieddy:
My brother, I just married recently and I can tell you that finance is a very big matter in marriage. No doubt, it is the responsibility of the man to cater for the family but the woman must be willing to support in every way. Any woman not ready to release her money or having the mentality that my money is my money and your money is our money is not fit for marriage. Pls don't even think about it because even of you have millions now, things can quickly change o. You might be down in no time and you will need your wife to support you. If she can't cover you, then you are in trouble. You can just kill yourself or somebody. Also, there is a better way of doing things. Your approach is not bad, but it shouldn't be too rigid. Allow for flexibility. When there are laws, there will be sin and quarrels. I prefer trust and understanding to strict rigid laws. You guys can still get back together and talk it out because that's needed. Ask people who are married and have OK marriages for advice but know that no two homes are the same. You must find out what works for you guys. In the end, as important as money is, your happiness and your wife's happiness is much important.

It's better if it's rigid oh.... if its not rigid the girl will subtly renege.... if ur not the type that likes arguments then pre-written rigid agreement is better. If she reneges then u can be flexible until she recovers....

ejieddy:
My brother, I just married recently and I can tell you that finance is a very big matter in marriage. No doubt, it is the responsibility of the man to cater for the family but the woman must be willing to support in every way. Any woman not ready to release her money or having the mentality that my money is my money and your money is our money is not fit for marriage. Pls don't even think about it because even of you have millions now, things can quickly change o. You might be down in no time and you will need your wife to support you. If she can't cover you, then you are in trouble. You can just kill yourself or somebody. Also, there is a better way of doing things. Your approach is not bad, but it shouldn't be too rigid. Allow for flexibility. When there are laws, there will be sin and quarrels. I prefer trust and understanding to strict rigid laws. You guys can still get back together and talk it out because that's needed. Ask people who are married and have OK marriages for advice but know that no two homes are the same. You must find out what works for you guys. In the end, as important as money is, your happiness and your wife's happiness is much important.

Please read my post on this page.

enonche85:
Same way 300k is nothing when you remove house rent and other bills.

He never imposed it on her, she had the option of challenging it but she choose to run away instead.

Exactly she should have challenged and negotiated until they reached an agreement....

NigeriaIsGreat:
Our fathers and forefathers don't understand their nature too abi?

1. In the days of our fathers and forefathers, women go to primary, secondary school and college.... by the time she is in college she is already married....the contract was clear.... men provide and women sit at home and care.... the economy allowed it... men were largely hunter gatherers and farmers or white collar workers or tradesmen.

2. Today women go to university. People go to university to earn degrees which they use to support themselves. By going to university, the contract has been rewritten. Its expected that a graduate will be able to support herself (not contribute to the house - these are 2 different things....she should be able to take care of herself).

3. While in university and nysc she has multiple boyfriends and flings (on husband time) - many remove their wombs or complicate from abortions etc! thereby rewriting the contract again... because of this, what neutralises not being a virgin, having high body count with boyfriends is that she uses her own money to care for herself 100%. The man uses his own to care for himself....many husbands don't know where their child birth issues is coming from and its unfair.

4. Abroad because of the way the economy is structured no guy provides 100% there and women there contribute significantly.

5. Present day women wants the benefits without the responsibilities.... dont forget she got married at 29. What benefit does the man get for providing 100% for a woman?? What does she bring to the table? Folks are just bound and shackled by religious dogma. The bible that said a man should provide still has the conditions of the provision laid out based on the old marriage contract.
I can go on but these are the main points.

NigeriaIsGreat:
You are the man, soon to be head of family. You sounding like a dictatorship

You should be responsible for your family upkeep man. You are even demanding her to chose nepa bill or Dstv/govt Haba! You used your hand to chase that girl trust me

No woman working, earning something that won't contribute to her family. I mean no woman. Women contribute their quota in marriage guy

Would you share the house chores with her? She carry pregnancy for months, risk her life birthing a child and nurture the child with sleepless night

You are a man guy and it is expected of you to be responsible for your family. I wouldn't be surprised if you give her some part to pay for her marital rite to her parents/family

Women are help mate guy. You need to earn her trust by being responsible for your family wellbeing. She'd naturally come in trust me.

Go out man and see women hustling, hawking left, right and centre. All these are for the family trust me. You need to earn her trust not being a dictatorship

Men who had women contributing in the upkeep of the family didn't dictate for them. Those men earned their trust by showing how responsible they are as a man. Guy, action speak louder than voice.

I will advise you to work more on yourself, earn more income and forget marriage for now. Going about looking for ladies to dictate what and what not to do with her finances is totally wrong man

Better don't listen to all those small small nairaland boys who barely had 3 square meal daily. They know nothing, i mean absolutely nothing

Some of them were even saying they can never tell their wife how much they earn. They are all fake person who tell lies to get those cheap girls within their neighbourhood and they will take that same lies and deceit into marriage. Na those kind people you wan dey listen to?

I'm also a small boy no doubt, but full of sense and wisdom. I learnt to be a responsible man from my father. He never dictate to my mum to do this and that. And my mum does contribute her quota naturally without being compelled or put under duress. My dad earned her trust by showing how responsible he is

U don't understand female nature @ all....

arewaseye:
The truth of the matter is no woman would want to hear this kind of thing. You are not yet married you have started dividing bills. It sends a wrong signal to the woman. It is a man's responsibility to provide for his family. You don't need to spell it out, a good wife knows she must support her husband.

Oga don't let anyone deceive you here ooo. No woman would agree with this thing you are carrying upandan.

And its the woman's responsibility to sit around and watch TV.... childcare can be shared...

The marriage contract has been rewritten...

UyaiIncomparabl:
Any man that cannot provide for his family 100% has no business getting married in the first place. This is why I love my Igbo men. They provide for their women without nagging. God bless the responsible Igbo men in the world. The rest can take several seats.

For ur information, the marriage contract has been rewritten.

1. Abroad its virtually impossible for a man to provide 100%.

2. Men now realize trying to provide everything decreases their lifespan.

3. Women started going to university..why do they go to university where they hv numerous boyfriends and at nysc if they still expect a husband to shoulder 100%. If a woman attends university and obtains a degree she should be able to provide for her own needs in a marriage.... and if she has had numerous boyfriends, then she also has to contribute her quota in the marriage or else she should go and ask all her boyfriends to provide for her!

NigeriaIsGreat:
My mum and dad are very much together and my mum hawk. I mean hawk to support the family. Throughout her lifetime before marriage she never hawked. She couldn't afford her new family go hungry without contributing her quota.

No woman, i repeat no woman will watch her hubby does absolutely everything without lifting a finger. Earn her trust and see how things goes smoothly

Our forefathers aren't a dictatorship, Yet their wives contributed their quota immensely. Why? They earn their trust as responsible men.

Earn her trust ke? Woman na God?? Omo leave that thing....

safarigirl:
Honestly, this matter get as e be for multiple reasons.

On one hand, your plan is actually solid and reasonable

On the other hand, it's really 80k. If she comot 30k for trust and vacations, then starts removing 1,500-3,000 for small groceries like milk, bread, egg, sugar, flour, butter, how much will be left?

Bear in mind, she will also have to buy things like sanitary pads, soap, body cream and such for her personal hygiene, even though these items may not be regularly bought. If she is into skin care, all those cleansers and moisturisers are another expense, not to talk of making her hair monthly with her own money. If person wan braid with attachment now, at least 6k don comot from your pocket.

I see why she would be wary, but I do not see why she will run away. That's not a very adult thing to do, except she don dey find reason to run since, and this your action just gave her one.

Either way, maybe both of you are not for each other. So, find someone who makes more than 80k/month and then drop your financial plan, because it really is a solid plan.

Nothing like both of u are not meant for each other; this is a clear case of selfishness and entitlement.... what happened to discussion and negotiation??

The vast majority of Nigerian females are looking for a rich man but what does the rich man get in return for sharing his resources with her.....

Ladycewhy:
Then why is he the one running here to get a pat on the back from misogynistic nitwits? Why all the wailing? She quietly left no fuss, no drama ,ehen? I am sure the reason is because he was expecting her to be desperate enough to hold on as per say man nor many , e shock am say aunty jakpa

U are right but that's because the op isn't red pilled and still believes in love etc. Redpilled men keep ag least 250 women (wives and girlfriends) at any given point in time and so care less.... but ur right.

Ladycewhy:
He already gave the details na you wan dey form oversabi dey assume.

He stated it all clear there, but hey God forbid say you nor blend your bias join. You sef look your own mindset wether e clear like this so? Nor be bias dey ooze so?

Come your wife nor come this world with anybody if she wan dey hand her salary over to you dey kneel down dey serve you food, her call,that you will now come and be using that to dictate to others is nothing short of outright imposure.


Assuming negative? Lol so only women have red flags and deal breakers? Who even knows the manner in which the op presented the proposal to her ,you nor dey there, but assumptions just full your mindset.


At the end,it's her life and her choice ,the only reason is see boys whining and wailing is that she had the guts to walk out and wasn't ready to accept a bad deal just to bear Mrs.

If its her life and her choice then it's the man's life and choice too.... the op even try sef... I know a guy that sayit must be 50-50 contribution else he no dey marry. Guys are woke now

na2016:
I sincerely don't know if you are married oo but if you are, if you try what this OP wrote, you will not have a home. A woman should contribute to the home but there is a limit. If you want to live off a woman, you will see the end result.

Relad the original wrote up. 70-30 is fair seeing as the girls aren't virgins these days and they also hv university degrees which means they can work...

na2016:
Bro, my answer to you is to put yourself as a woman, and if you were her brother or sister and think of how you will feel.

This makes no sense I don't understand. Pls explain.... also put urself in the guys shoes how will that make him feel...

Lollz:
I don't have a problem with you sharing financial responsibilities at all, so long as you're ready to share chores and taking care of the kids with me in a similar proportion. If anything, I think I'd even love it.

A man has been doing his own chores even before getting married so it's no issue after marriage....

Men have been bringing up their kids by instilling virtues in them....and will continue to change diapers etc when the woman is busy with work for example.... no big deall....

ivolt:
You are free to marry off your underage child. In fact, majority of your people still do it.
But you can't tell other parents how to raise their kids.

18 yrs old isn't uunderrage which is the age of university. U didn't answer the question: IF SHE IS GOING TO STILL DEPEND ON A MAN THEEN WHY GO TO UNIVERSITY??

na2016:
A woman requires more money to care for herself than a man. This amount varies for different women and when you add all those to what OP just wrote, you will notice that he doesn't want that lady to have any personal funds. Won't she be giving her parents something from time to time? Must she always ask him for such? Op may have good intentions but even if the best lady accepts this proposition, she will revolt later.

Shouldn't the man be giving his parents something from time to time.

DrFunmisticGlow:
stay single or find a sugar mummy, because you as a man, are not ready for marriage and the responsibility of being the head of the household

Those so called responsibilities are old fashioned.... if we are to go the old way tthe woman would not even go to school..... why then did she spend 4yrrs in school....

aimmoney9:
A woman's money in marriage is her's....

So also is that of her husband......

This is the Nigerian woman mentality that has made men now start looking for only working class ladies to settle down with coz no one needs a liability.....

They need to drastically change this mindset because from the looks of things fewer men are getting married in Nigeria now and the situation will worsen in the future.....

If you are ready to marry as a woman you must be ready to contribute financially to it, that's what building a home entails....

a woman can negotiate zero financial contribution from ages 19 - 25 based on their attractiveness alone which will lure men to pay it all (men are ready and will do anything to have thoose girls).... but they dont want to commit at that age. so tell me why i should be paying the bills of a fully grown 32 year old woman in the name of wife.... it aint happening.... when you get married at 28:

1. you must bring money in contribution to the household.
2. the guy is free to have younger girlfriends... shikena!

FarahAideed:
Yet Buhari says he achieved almost 6 % growth in 2021

Believe Buhari. dont believe World Bank and UN... those organizations exist to try to make you feel less about your self and less about being black!

Buhari and the House of Assembly and Finance Minister makes better decisions than World Bank but inferiority complex no go let my people see am.

hammer567:
THERE MUST BE AN EXCUSE TO HAVE A MILITARY BASE IN YOUR COUNTRY.


SO, THEY ARM AND SUSTAIN INSURGENCY, THIS WAY EVENTUALLY, THEY CAN PUT BOOTS ON GROUND AND SECURE WHATEVER RESOURCES THEY ARE AFTER IN YOUR COUNTRY.

There is only one country that fights UK France USA Germany Italy colonial activities in Africa.... that country is Russia....thats why the west(UK France etc) hates them so much

jackslow:
Pakistan has not used it nuclear weapon but your spiritual fathers have used it before.The Muslims are in their countries ,but US is in every part of the world causing destruction to weaker nations. Its not about religion the only reason north Korea is still standing strong is the because if their nuclear weapons.
Please leave Muslims alone and face the problems you have in the world.

It is alleged that the vast majority of terrorist organisations in Africa are funded and trained by Britain France and USA

hammer567:
THEIR PAPA YANSH! THEIR FADA THERE!


NA WHO THEM DEY TELL THIS ONE? WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER



THIS GENERATION OF NIGERIANS IS DETERMINED TO FREE ITSELF FROM BRITISH BONDAGE AND IF THAT REQUIRES GETTING NUCLEAR WEAPON, SO BE IT.




WE WILL GO NUCLEAR AND THE WORLD WILL STOP FCCKING WITH US.





NIGERIA IS RIGHT BEHIND NORTH KOREA, ISRAEL AND IRAN ON THE LIST OF FUTURE NUCLEAR POWERS.




UNA DEY MAD, UNA WAN GET NUCLEAR WEAPON, MAKE WE NO COME GET, SO U CAN KEEP RAPING US. BLOODY RAPIST!

You know the truth and you know history....

Jman06:
The woman was wrong to have killed those innocent children, but then again, Hausa and Muslim men generally should learn to respect their wives! For crying out loud, women also have feelings and can also feel jealous just by mere thought of their husbands with other women.

How many of these men can stomach the thought of their wives having affairs with other men

The man should make it clear from the start that it's not only her..... monogamy favors women not men.....

SEO2002:
A lady in Abia State today set her ex boyfriend ablaze because the latter abandoned her for another girl. Today being the day of his traditional marriage, she called him over to her place. When he came she poured fuel on him and set him ablaze.

Meanwhile, the guy grabbed her and both of them burnt to third degree.

As at the time of writing this report, the duo have been rejected by three hospitals and they are currently on their way to Umuahia. Viewers discretion is advised as the pictures below are graphic.

Na wetin monogamy dey cause.... guys advice your girls on time that they are not exclusive and that its not only them.....

DenreleDave:
Russia keep hunting USA with wildfire.. Las las USA shall over come... All the nairalanders that hate USA will end up in North Korea or China... All those that have been supporting USA will end up in US of A.

Terrorists and their sympathizer will end up 6 feet

These wildfires are divine retribution to the United States for:

1. Forceful takeover of native American land.
2. Murder of innocent civilians in wars abroad e.g. Afghanistan, Iraq, Ethiopia, etc.
3. Ongoing attempts to colonise Africa in partnership with their partners in crime I.e. UK and NATO.

Singlenhappy:
sheis at liberty to choose who she has feelings for!

Both people choose themselves.... she chooses who she has feelings for and the guy chooses her if he has feelings for her too....