₦airaland Forum

theButterfly:
Hmmm, so he had also cheated but couldn't forgive her like she did him? Talk about a vindictive hypocrite.

It depends on when he cheated on her. Maybe, it happened at the time they were not so into each other.

But she cheated on him 2 months to their wedding.

Moreover, the lady might be lying to get some sympathy. Maybe his cheating was not even sexual. In today's world, cheating can be anything from flirting to sexual intercourse. And trust women to blow things out of proportion especially when looking for sympathy to lessen the shame from an embarrassing situation. It would be that moment that she would remember how Ade cheated on her when in fact she only caught Ade hugging a lady.

Mind you, I don't tolerate cheating of any kind even if we have not talked marriage. Cheating breaks trust and trust is hard to build.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Spiritual in christianity abi?
Still no

I don't do Christianity either. I am a believer in Jesus Christ.

But I am not comfortable with being labeled a Christian if I can help it.

Short men and their foolish pride.

What is wrong with Akon calling Wizkid his lil brother? Is Wizkid not younger than Akon? And even with regards to achievements and contribution to music, is Akon not bigger than Wizkid? Has Akon not been at the top of his game even before Wizkid made his big break?

This MI has mental issues.

jakandeola:
I pray u get a good wife bro cos u deserve it.after all pains u went thru, dont end up wit a useless woman who lack focus and spend her life on a stupid thing of past DAT ended 5 month ago.

Thank you, boss.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Pastor which church? You dey go church?
If you become pastor we nor dey marry
I don't do religious men
Learn to be selfless and have some humanity.
*runs*

Don't worry

I am not a religious person. I am a spiritual person. I was religious once (which is necessary), but now, religion no longer works for me.

I don't do church as well. If you find me in a church, I am most certainly there for business.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Your mom sorry to hear that
That relationship must have been extraordinaire your GF just felt entitled. I am sure she made you a better man

Yes, my love. I like to see the positives, so I would say she pushed me to be better in at least one way (maybe, not a good way). My desire had been to be just a pastor I didn't care for money or luxury. I just wanted to preach. But after my experience, I knew I had to work for money. Perhaps, God is not happy that the selfless boy of that time is now selfish. Because now, I don't do anything for free. My dad has been playing organ for 26 years now, and until recently, he was doing it for free until the church placed him on a salary by force. I wanted to do the same too. I was doing virtually everything for free in my local church back then. Playing the piano, interpreting, sweeping church, composing songs but not anymore. Now, if I must play the piano in my local church, my wage must be at least 15k per Sundays. After all, there are now billionaire pastors.

DECENCY3:
In my case I married a man who was earning 8k as salary(2008) I saw a future in him before marrying him. I became an emergency manager. Few years later God open doors his take home all joined together was up to a #100k .

His true colours came forth: nagging, verbally abusive, nagging, etc even said the 3rd pregnancy isn't his own. I nearly aborted but kept encouraging myself only for me to deliver a boy(the only boy and last baby). He womanised with impunity and refused my and my 3 children entry into the house.

I tried everything possible to save the Marriage but no way. I involved his people who rebuked him but he kept them malice saying I stab him, poisoned him now I have charmed his ppl to back me up. I reduced to times two but time healed the wound.

I cursed him with every fiber in me, cursed him while naked with tears, etc and finally moved on taking care if my kids. His life shattered, he is shamelessly back using the children as cover up. Paying their fees and other things. But I am done and dusted with him. I am trying to secure my future first before I will know whether to consider him or not.

Some men can be so mean

Sometime in 2009, I was earning 6k. The lady I was with was the one who practically wooed me, and even asked for marriage. Being a master's holder in Mathematics, and being also a man who knew my mathematics like the back of my hand, she always told me I would do something great in the world.

She was nice and supportive in her own way, but she was rude, and could be insensitive sometimes. I am not a headstrong person but when she was becoming excessively controlling and manipulative, I had to become stubborn myself over things that I felt strongly about. During an argument, she told me that "She was managing me" and I told her that "Not having money does not mean I have to become your slave".

I saw hell. But people out there (family and friends) would be seeing a good girl in her because she was staying with a broke guy like me. Anyway, 2011, I won a scholarship and went for a theology program in Ireland, afterwhich I went for a master's in India. The church was paying me because I was ministering as well as studying. My salary had increased by then. Moreover, I was also teaching mathematics online and contributing to online textbooks for open distance learning. So, I was beginning to earn some money.

So, I sent money home from India. About 200k in naira. That was 2013. It went into her account and I instructed her to give 100 to my godmother. 50 to my dad and to keep 50 for herself. This woman said nasty things to me based on that distribution. I explained my reason for the distribution through email because she would not let me explain on the phone. My dad received pensions from the government and earned from the church where he plays the organ. I sent 100k to my godmother because since I lost my mom, she has been extraordinarily supportive without complaining one bit. Back in university, my dad always sent 8k to me as pocket money. It was my godmother that used to add another 8k to make me live well. And then I told this woman that I sent 50k to her because she had a job. Anyway, next time, I sent another 200k and asked her to take 100k for herself and give 50-50 to my godmother and dad. Just like before, she started a fight accusing me of not being transparent, that I must have sent money to my godmother somehow and was using this distribution to fool her. Then she started her usual tirade about how she stayed with me when I was as poor as a church rat. How many women could do that? Bla bla bla.

Anyway, when I came back to the country, I got a job with a steady income. And I told her to just leave my life for good. Initially, she was remorseful. But when I refused to go back on my words, she began her nonsense tirades.

My point is: Staying with a man when he had nothing is not enough for him to marry you or be good to you when he makes it. How did you treat him when he had nothing? The one that even hurt me the most was the comparison she always made and how she would make it seem like she could leave me anytime and any rich man would be waiting to accept her without stress. It was her favorite way of manipulating me into doing whatever she wanted.

Fredchisom:
Well i will advice ladies to start acquiring skills or rather have something tangible as a job.i dont wanna hear make up artist..lol,while u are waiting for rich guys,some of us doing great wont marry a lady who does nothing,yes u can be pretty,but i assure u,we will marry beauty with assets and connection cz no one has d monopoly to select better thing,i pity guys that go for unskilled ladies.

Great advice.

I read an article sometimes back where it was written that the wealthy are now marrying among themselves. So, to land Adenuga's son, you must either be the daughter of a billionaire or a politician or a woman who has earned her place through dints of hardwork and professionalism.

Even Regina had put in some works in her career before she landed an ancestor who is loaded.

But you will find a broke girl looking down on a broke guy who probably earns higher than her own elder brother or even father. She would be expecting a richer man forgetting that the richer man probably has a woman who stood by him when he had nothing.

uninspired07:
Where are they?

They are everywhere.

uninspired07:
How many women will agree to marry you with a 100k salary in Lagos, Nigeria?

Unless of course you want to keep petting & begging a woman to be with you for the rest of the marriage.

Marriage will manageable for a family in Lagos, Nigeria if the man earns from 250 and above & they plan well. Anything else will be a struggle if you marry a normal Lagos girl. Unless you want to import a wife from the village.

I am sure there would be more than enough women who would marry you for less.

uninspired07:
Regardless of the attitude of our women, I think a man earning 100k doesn’t have any business with marriage, let alone 30k. If any guy earning 30k comes to my family asking for her hand in marriage, it’s pepper water I will use to pursue him.

Who wan die for Nigerian poverty? Guys should leave Nigerian girls alone & try to seek enjoyment & fulfillment outside women. You can enjoy your life without women in it. When you have enough money, you will realize that the urge for marriage will reduce & it’s women that will be begging you to marry them instead.

A man never gets too old for marriage, it’s women that get old. It’s a man’s world after all. There’s no need to rush.

What are you saying?

If 100k is not enough, then nothing else can be enough.

100k is enough.

What really is marriage sef

Is it that capital intensive? If you can't keep a marriage with 100k, then you can't keep a marriage even with 1 billion naira.

If the 100k is stable, and you live in a modest neighborhood, 100k is just enough.

The truth is many people continue to put off marriage (even they want to get married) because they are scared to start. They want 200k. They start earning 200k but it is still not enough. They earn 300k but it is still not enough. In their mind, they will be like "Maybe, I should just wait till it is 500k".

Marriages can be just the right thing to make you even more focus.

ImaIma1:
It is not every lady that will marry someone she is starting little with.

It is not every rich person that loses the wealth later (this example is becoming cliche and stale)

Some ladies will marry wealthy and already made men and enjoy their marriage(nothing wrong with this). Some won't enjoy it.

Some ladies will marry guys that they will suffer with and enjoy their marriages(their choice too). Some won't enjoy it.

It's the "not rich" ones that keep criticizing ladies for marrying a rich guy and even try to scare them with the "money will disappear" narrative.

Everyone's choice is personal and they should not be trolled for it

That is the reality.

I like to think of marriage as a gamble when it comes to finding happiness.

Some women will marry rich men who would turn them into punching bags while some will start from the scratch with guys who would turn them into punching bags.

However, I will advise ladies never to prioritize wealth over happiness. I don't have a problem with ladies having dreams such as landing a wealthy man and living a life of luxury. But they should not make it seem like landing a wealthy man is the only way they could ever get to live a life of luxury. They should develop themselves so long. Landing a wealthy man would then be a bonus.

But today, many girls can't think of other ways of escaping poverty other than by scheming to be leeches. When your whole life revolves around landing a wealthy man, you will end up failing to develop your own self.

This is one problem many wealthy people have with their children. Kids whose focus is on their parents' wealth will end up not developing themselves. And when eventually they inherit the wealth, they would ruin everything out of their incompetence and lack of discipline.

lilwetdick:
a man with vision and focus wont be earning 30k . i believe in spousal support, both couples should work, combine income but 30k is nothing

how will this 30k earner pay for rent before they marry, who is bringing whom to the house, the man or the woman.

Please, provide more explanation on the part of your post that I highlighted.

Thank you.

Ladyhippolyta88:
You are not ooo.

How can you say they are old and bloated?
Do you know what you will look like at 40?

OK, sorry, my sweetheart. Sorry to all the old mama youngi in the pictures.

I take back my words.

Ladyhippolyta88:
You well so?

Very well, my love.

oruma19:
this man for too sweet to be president abeg. He knows everything that is up in this 21st century. I love the man, he could have given Nigeria another direction, its a pity there's no justice in naija

Typical Nigerian. Easily deceived.

What is so special about watching football? Is watching football now some 21st century idea that can be used to turn a pervasively corrupt country like Nigeria around?

They all look old, dirty, and bloated.

Except my crush, Rita Dominic.

MRAKBEE:
And those nationalist and terrorists movements are still operating Abi? were majorities of the victims of attack carried out by the LRA not Christians? That is not to justify their evil actions though. The Last time I checked they have allsigned peace accords with their respective authorities and denounced violence.
I hope how iswap operates and who their target is as well as their inspiration.. ISIS too.. Boko haram have copies of the Quran too.. They read directly from it to justify their evil acts..na 72 virgins stuff.. It's a clear stuff na.
By the way, it's obvious that religion is an opium of the masses..

Are majority of Boko Haram victims not Muslims?

xelly:
Evans is not a christian. Mention any of those terrorist organisations in Nigeria pls.

"He reads Psalm 23 a lot. Even his phone, he sets alarm for 12 noon to read Psalm 23. He took part in our daily prayers in the morning, evening and night. He used to lead us in prayers. We attend Anglican Church"
https://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/headlines/234386-forgive-husband-evans-wife-notorious-kidnapper-begs.html

So, Evans is a Christian.

As for Christian terrorism. I have already given you examples of Christian terrorist groups, and yet you are still asking me to give you Christian terrorist groups in Nigeria as if the nonexistence of Christian militias in Nigeria means Christian terrorism does not exist.

My brother, anyone can use religion (whether Christianity, Judaism or Islam) to perpetrate evil. That is my point.

xelly:
Let us not hide the fact that Muslims hide under religion to commit terrorism. Christians will never take anyone's life for any reason. Like you mentioned, I am not a Catholic but currently married to a wife from a Catholic home (Priest, Reverend Sister and Knight).

Once you are a christian, you are a christian. All such division aren't serious as viewed.

Christians will never take anyone's life? Do you mean Christians will never hide behind religion to take lives? Because we all know that Evans (a kidnapper and murderer) is a Christian.

As for terrorism, every religion is capable of breeding terrorism.

The National Liberation Front of Tripura is a Christian terrorist group operating in India with the aim of expanding the kingdom of Jesus Christ. Some of their victims have been Hindus and Muslims for failing to convert to Christianity.

There is also the Lord's Resistance Army, a Christian milia, which operates in Uganda, South Sudan and the Central African Republic.

He looks like a violent man, though.

Reminds me of Lanre back in Secondary School who used to get into trouble over flimsy things. He would beat up a boy over bathroom space, slap a girl over plate of food. His excuses were always that they provoked him. Then, I used to wonder if he was the only one who faced provocation in those days. Why always him? Any fight in school then must involve Lanre. He was either slamming someone's head against the wall or assaulting a girl over food or water.

xelly:
I join the muslims to celebrate Sallah. Maybe my Christian brothers should behead me. Now be the judge. Which is the religion of peace ane which is the pieces .

None of the religions is a religion of pieces. The problem is that some individuals become fanatical.

There are a lot of fanatical Christians too. They don't want you to marry outside the church even within Christianity. The Catholic Church views other churches as sinful. The Jehovah's Witness cannot accept a member marrying outside the church even if the marriage is to a fellow Christian brother/sister. Christian fanatics may not resort to violence like the Muslim fanatics but it doesn't mean they are more peaceful.


Peace is a mirage when it comes to religion, my friend.

RamseyBolton:
I am a Christian. I can wish people Happy Ramadan but cannot do it in Muslim outfit. Neither can i put muslim symbols in my house. Amir Khan seems like a not into deep muslim

What do you mean by Muslim outfits?

And do you suppose that Christmas trees and all those Christmas symbols are Christian symbols?

Christmas is celebrated everywhere even among Buddhists and Hindus. During my time in India, Hindus joined in the celebrations.

Christmas has become a secular festival. Everyone celebrates it. Christians do so by going to church. Everyone else celebrates in their own way.

All these fanatical Muslims are the problem of the world. It is because of them that we have terrorist organizations disturbing the peace of the world.

zeb04:
but she is married and frustrated so what’s the catch?

Didn't read where she said she was frustrated.

safarigirl:
As long as he is the one buying the scandalous outfits and he looks like Idris Elba/Chris Okagbue/Somto Akanegbu/Broderick Hunter, I'll be wiggling my tiny size 4 ass into a size 2 dress and slipping my feet into those high-heeled sandals

Easier said than done.

And I believe you are joking because I know that you are a writer. How many writers like to feel suppressed? Writers are very free-spirited people and will be quick to notice manipulations, no matter how little.

Even trophy wives always tired of the money and start looking for some life (some personal space to wear what they like and do some of the things they like).

safarigirl:
your name is Bluntboy and youu are saying OP should not be blunt?

If her husband is dressing like a trader in Upper Iweka, shouldn't she help with his style? Man is probably sporting a pot belle and wearing tight body hug to accentuate his man boobs.

If his style is wack, she has the right, as his wife, to pick out his outfits. That is what most wives do with their husbands; they buy them clothes and help select their outfits. Why can't OP do same for the Grinch she married?

Wait till you marry a man who picks everything for you and who expects you to dress like a queen in tight fitting dresses and high heels when you would rather wear something loose and something low. A man who thinks your modest gowns and sandals (which you have always liked) are trash and unbefitting of a woman who must be his wife.


Or a man who suddenly becomes an SU and asks you to always wear scarves and Deeper Life gowns when you would rather wear something much trendier.