₦airaland Forum

TaminaliaCatapa:
You didn’t derail the thread, we also learnt from your experience, thanks to everyone’s contribution...

Btw, reply to as many messages as possible on Facebook, Nigerian guys are good hardworking guys; no doubt we have the bad eggs, just watch out and twice be careful this time... cheers!

Laughs - I pity genuine men chatting that lady up. She has succeeded with her game plan. I live in a western world oh. You mess with a black woman. A white woman? You must be joking. I stand by word - she is lying

Excuzeme:
Please stop the bullshyting, we know the man is not here to confirm or deny these accusations but from the look of it, it dont add up.
Too much garnishing, IMO.

Thank God someone can see these inconsistencies like I do. A lot of young people, well they are young and don’t know much, are already sympathizing with her.

She is lying if she is even a woman, or a fraud on Nairaland.

lefulefu:
what an irresponsible man

Before you pass judgement, listen to both parties. Don’t conclude yet

OneCorner:
It’s people like u dat normally end up as lesson teacher or graduate selling puff puff
And people will now be saying, and he knows book oo

Jealous soul

Naija4lifeYank:
Who put the American man in debt? Is it not the same American woman who divorced him and took his money leaving him with debt, with the active connivance of the law courts? And this is irrespective of if the wife was a cheat, witch, or just bat crazy.
Then they turn around and call him a loser (your words). What percentage of divorce filers are women? Statistically over 85% of divorces are filed by women. And you can't tell me that only men cheat in America.
To me it appears the American women you describe are looking for a fresh victim and are only avoiding the "loser" because some other woman got to squeeze him dry first.
That's why Sango, doing tag-team with Thor, hammers-wielding and all , will fire any American woman (already talked about the dangers of foreign women, so no thanks too) that thinks I'll walk down the aisle with her. And I like living in the US with the constant electricity so I'm not moving to no funny place so I can marry.
I know they are all still interested because I escaped with a lot of my wealth and my son, so I'm not paying any child support. But once bitten twice shy. Thanks but no thanks, We good!

You dey mind that one. You need to see how American men and Canadian men dey scream for help.

Meliaen:
That is what you tell yourself when you're feeling delusional. You= Monster. Your wife=your slave. Your moniker says it all Boss_monster_13.

Hahahahaha little devil. If that’s my situation and my marriage is sweet. How e concern you little devil. Busy body. Come face front and face your devilish life. Go and make a man miserable with your disgusting attitude. People their mothers did not train properly want to come to public square to talk.

Tufiakwa!

Chiiamaka:
I would love to get married to a Caucasian.. Tired of Y’all Nigerian men. �

Sorry girl - Caucasian don’t really like black women except old divorcees who have been dealt with by their white wives. A Caucasian is more likely to choose an Asian over you

Dream on!

Ugosample:
"western influence? "
I hope you know that conservatism is still well rooted in the western world too.
You live here so you should know
that is why some states fought tooth and nail against homo marriages and all that

And yes, Muzzies will kill or deal badly with there women OF they step out of what the men have defined as "the lines"
You know it, and I know it

However, appreciating your feminity as a woman is the best
Trust me

And feminine roles are not just based on the "bible" even tho I am a Christian

even cultures that don't believe in the bible STILL hold the same values, so this is not about the bible, but nature and our inclinations


We as men have a lot of work to do with our daughters and women in our lives . We need to teach them the essence of being women, and also love them and create an atmosphere for them to thrive

treating them as second class citizens and chattel over the centuries led us to this dangerous juncture that we are tifst, and as men, we have refused to admit it.

If American men of the past were not screwing eondn over with divorce and sending them out and replacing them with younger wives, would they have been a need or basis to revise the divorce laws, which today has now caused societal upheavals? The honest answer is NO!

If women's rights were taken seriously FROM THE BEGINNING, would we be in this quagmire? NO


We caused it, now we have to leave with it.

Igbo custom is amongst the most misogynist in this country

And now the women are revolting and screwing men over (in their eyes, they are paying men back in their own coin )

That's just how it is.

We better retrace our steps

or we will be in serious trouble in the coming decades.

Conservative beliefs and ideas are dying in the West. Those who still hold these ideas are afraid to speak up because of radical feminist movements.

You talked about Igbo being misogynistic. That’s the custom and culture. That’s what defines a people. Who told you the custom was bad - The West and how is their new wave feminism working for them?

Western men are scared of western women. Many of them are going MGTOW or chasing after traditional women from the east. Nobody wants baggages.

I keep saying black people have nothing to do with feminism. It’s for white people, but because we are stupid, we want to copy western ways. Go back to the beginning of this thread and see the numerous recommended for Eastern European or Asian women because of their traditional values.

What you are recommending is throwing our way of life to embrace the way of the white man - Abomination! Even the white man does not like it too.

Feminism is an agenda. It’s sexy and trendy because some corporate organizations are making money from it and not because they are really interested in Women rights.

Meliaen:
Your own marriage will not last if you think the other way.

Awww such a sad thing. My wife is not like you little devil sent to make men miserable

ifyalways:
@OP, i know someone exactly in same shoes. Infact, i just paid for her single mother and sole custody affidavits today. The only difference is that unlike you, the baby daddy lives in UK so she cant sue him for child support.

If your baby daddy lives in nigeria, tell him that you want him yo start contributing towards his childs upkeep starting from next month, send him your account details and amount you expect him to contribute( be reasonable,factor in school fees, food, shelter,clothing and health insurance {if your child does not have one, get one for him asap})

If he fails to remit the said amount on or before 5th of next month, go and report him to your states welfare service.

31 is still young. You will meet a man who will love you and accept your child, however , enlarge your coast. Work hard so you can afford to travel and vacation, you will meet people including foreigners who will pamper and treat you like a queen. Dont be desperate
Dont settle for less. Set your standards and stay firm on basic things you want in a man.
You have been played once, never allow any man play you again.
Avoid playboys and fvckboys no matter how needy you are, get a verrrry good vibrator instead. Dont invite another drama into your life just cos you want to brush your down below.

Dont settle for less or sell yourself short to please any man. You set the rules from henceforth.

Women trying to encourage her that she would see a man that would love her and her son. I pity that man. In fact such a man lack self esteem that he is willingly to go after a single mother and start training a child that is not his rather than start his own family afresh. I know some men do this but they are stupid men.

OP go and arrest the idiot and let him pay for his deeds. There is the need to deal with idiotic men who abandon their children

cococandy:
You only know what you’ve been told. Do some research this is 2019.
Women contributed greatly to the advancement of the society. Scientifically and economically and in all spheres.

But the men tell the stories and as we know, they usually don’t regard women’s contributions.

So what’s your point in the first place. How has women contribution in society got to do with being a good wife?

sharpwriter:
Yes baby

That girl is mad oh - ignore her

Jirair:
I'd like to jump in on this. Western women are also not marrying western men. It is not as if the decision is solely for the man to make. Some of us only want to get married once in our lifetime, hence it is imperative to have a hand in that choice. We are not cattles. More women are choosing to remain single because we want to wait for our person/take our time to find him. I have been single for most of my life and will continue to be until I find my person. If someone asks me to marry him and I feel he is not genuine, we are incompatible, he has questionable character, doesn't treat me well, I will thank him but decline.

The man marries the woman. Not the other way round.

Ugosample:
some of the Muslims confirm BY CHOICE

But a culture that promotes honour killings and the subjugation and commoditization of women is not a culture worth praising or emulating

I respect cultures that ALLOW women to be feminine and "traditional" by choice, not coercion

At a family friends town in Canada, a Pakistani man (muzzie btw) killed his two daughters for coming over and partying and living the life that youths their age were living

So I will NEVER support or give kudos to such

But just likr we have in parts of northern NIGERIA
some of them are well educated have good careers and still are "traditional"
e.g. Moghalu VP candidate

That's more like it.

Let’s not discuss about religion here because Christianity has done far worse and still doing more damage to society. I can give you examples for you to go research. Catholic priest and young boys - does it ring a bell. That’s contemporary issue for you to go research.

I am not a Muslim but I have seen these women understanding and appreciating their feminist roles and avoiding western interference. They understand who they are and love who they are. Feminine role is also specified in the Bible if you are unaware.

What I see with western women and now young Nigeria women is they do not really know who they are. They are being deceived by Institutions, controlled by men, claiming to champion feminism.

Meliaen:
You have still not answered his question, just talking around it. Mind you, the people who liked your comments are men like you with entitlement sense. Men with poor upbringing, who weren't trained to help their sisters and mothers with house chores.

You are going to have problems in your marriage if you think this way

TaminaliaCatapa:
The dentists only whites and Africans can afford, crack-headed low life black Americans can’t afford a plate of salad
Hahahahahahahaha mofo leeches

Please ignore that black America. They are the scum of black people. Always good at giving the black race a bad name. Quick to claim victims instead of getting things done. Don’t give yourself a headache because of their irritating lifestyle. You wonder what’s she is doing on a Nigerian forum if she dislikes Nigerians so much.

needful:
@Cococandy, I choosed to mention you because u vividly understood the concept. I live in Canada and the truth is 70% of naija men needs brain resetting. A man will immigrate to Canada with his family, pushed the wife to go and do RN against her wish, he still wants the RN with about 3children and 12hrs shift to come back and serve his hands and foot. Is this not insane?, i dont really understand the basis upon which marriage is constituted. marriage especially Nigeria men. What I see in most of this naija men are selfishness,. Alot of peaceful families are divorcing because the man wants the wife to work full time, pay half of the Bill's and still serve him and the children. The moment you men understand that women are humans created by God as God created you people, marital issues will disappear.
To all this ones shouting my property this and that, which property do u even own, is it the one u mortgaged to pay for 25 to 30yrs? Or another one. I trained my wife in school, with whose money. Can any of you even train somebody in school single handedly without Govt loan? Mtcheww, confused Hypocrites.
And for the this olosho poster looking for a woman to enslave, continue and am sure u will find one when u are 75yrs old. Nonsense

Madam you must be in pains. Did you lose your marriage. Many of these issues could have been resolved by mere dialogue. I live in Canada too with my family. It’s a cultural shock for me barely doing any domestic chores during my lifetime due to having maids at my leisure and disposal.

My wife works and still handles her role. She complains too and I understand when she is in that mood. I can’t cook else I would have supported her. We have agreed on how domestic chores would be handled. I do the cleaning. She does the cooking. She still complains - Women do love to complain. Anyways it’s more of having a sincere discussion than cussing out. Nobody would listen to each other.

In marriage you work as partners. You compromise and ignore certain things. It’s for your own happiness. What does a woman gain challenging a man - to me it’s childish. Learn to communicate even when you are angry. Based on some of the comments I have read here, I can point out bad wives, potential bad wives and good wives as well.

Naija4lifeYank:
This is more than apt.
This will be my only post on Nairaland. I'm only posting so no man goes through what I went through.
I live in the US.
My marriage crashed when I came home to marry a Naija-based angel. I never planned to come home to marry. I trusted my friend's report of good behavior from his family member not knowing he knew it was all a ruse. It was a planned job.
My father died from medical complications and having lost my mom much earlier, I came home to bury him. The Naija-based lady knew I was now an orphan used all her wiles to pretend to love me. Pretended to be helping to fill the void left by my parents and I finally agreed to marry her.
I was earning well over $180,000 a year and had luxury home and luxury car.
She arrived and within 1 month, I knew I had made the mistake of my life.
She demanded a luxury SUV since I had one and I told her it didn't make any sense to have two gas-guzzlers in the home. She immediately went into a tantrum. This was someone not contributing anything to the home financially. I got her a brand new Honda Accord. She wasn't very satisfied.
She started buying clothes. Every weekend it was a bill of $600 for clothes. I told her that's not how we spend money in America, she kept going. Always complaining. That she didn't have enough clothes. She is Igbo, so I paid for all the wedding in Nigeria. her family probably contributed only her wedding dress.
So I was starting to think who is this clown that I married.
She got pregnant and then started threatening me with potentially divorce & Child support if I don't do things that make her happy.
One day I got back from work (4 months after wedding) and she had been entertaining another man in the home that I paid all the mortgage on. I knew this because somebody had used the ipad at home to view his Instagram and Facebook and forgot to sign out.
I confronted her and she denied it. She started taking calls from all manner of men from Nigeria, sometimes going to the bathroom to talk to them
Fast forward, one day she told me her cousin from Nigeria was coming to our city in Maryland and could he stay in our home. I found out that the guy was not her cousin really and shut it down. She started saying by US law the home belonged to her and her kids. I told her I had a baseball bat and if she had 10 heads, she should bring the "cousin" to come visit.
By the time she had our son, she had become a full-fledged monster. Refusing to cook, etc. I did most of the house work and had a cleaner come clean the house.
I divorced her shortly after. I had to start paying her child support until God came to my rescue and the Judge decided I was the better parent and I won custody of my son.
It was the worst experience of my life and I lost so much. Her family was in on the whole thing. I assume they were so greedy to want my home
Before anyone asks, I never cheated on her. or hit her.
She did everything those women do: she called the cops to the house during an argument. I was so worried she was going to lie about physical abuse that never happened. I lived in FEAR in my own home. NEVER going to that state of things again. I'm free now.

For those who say the wife took a loan for school, so how did you send her through school, most times you co-sponsor the loan for the wife using your credit
I'll never be married again (I'm still in my thirties) and NEVER marry a woman from Nigeria again.

So sorry about your experience. I also understand your fear. Many Nigerian women still do not understand US laws. Some think they moment they marry you everything is theirs. However, they forget that prior to the marriage whatever the man has is his. During the marriage, whatever assets and liabilities incurred would be shared 50:50 if there is no prenuptial agreement and if there is, according to the sharing ratio agreed by both partners.

All these the house belong to the wife is a lie but because of the kids welfare and the woman being assumed as the primary life giver. If the man decides to sell the house he brought prior to the marriage, the woman gets kicked out.

HeliosHay:
Very interesting. I've noticed that too..any idea why that is so? the feminism wave is more prevalent in non-muslim cultures than in Muslim ones

I think it has to do with the religion specifying women roles. I love equality but the feminist wave is now becoming hostile. More women are now ingesting testosterone either through movies, books or commercials. Someone was arguing against my suggestion. It’s my opinion and I have seen the Muslim abroad holding on to their traditional lives and conflicts in marriages are easily resolved. Also, you know your children would have some traditional values and not get carried away with the next new thing.

America is a toxic environment - anything goes as long as there is money to be made from it.

This is a good topic for young men. Marriage should be planned. Forget love. My advice on this is quite straightforward. Muslim have strong traditions and are heavily grounded. Many Muslims don’t believe or support this nonsense feminism wave. If you are indeed searching for a wife abroad, go to a Mosque predominantly Nigerian, confront the Imam and express your wishes.

Please note I’m not a Muslim but I have noticed Muslim women don’t get carried away because of their religion.

If he wins he will defect to APC.

She is still young and ignorant. As you grow, your sex libido winds down. So when she’s with a poor man who can no longer perform consistently, would she tolerate her wretched life?

Bigprick9inches:
Guys the fake is 1300$ plus shipping. We are talking of more than half a million Naira here. She try even if na fake. How many naija celebs and babes dey spend 500k - 1mill for bag. The only original things people should invest money in are solid gold watches, real diamonds and solid gold jewelries.

How do you know that? The impostor told you and you believe. How can the fake be more expensive than the original. Where did you forget your senses. Go and get it now!

teresafaith:
Na jealousy dey worry the doctor
Laura should ignore but rather refer her to teni's song "fake gucci"

Well I don’t think so. She made one valid point. People who make reasonable money or wealth don’t talk about it. It’s the fake ones that go about overhyping their crumbs. She is also doing it for younger ladies not to believe the hype and put themselves on unnecessary pressure.

She is a better role model for young ladies than Laura and Linda Ikeji. She is a doctor and a professional. The other two sell gossips for a living.

Nice suit. Nice color combination

Quite unfortunate she has made Adebayo her life. I hope she gets a ring else it would be a wasted effort.

Kashamu Ogun gubernatorial candidate- My goodness

LuciferPastor:
That was never a penalty. His arm kept moving away from the ball. Man Utd players didn't even protest because they knew it wasn't a penalty.

I really pity PSG cuz every season they get robbed by UEFA. First Barca, now Man Utd.

Maybe its because they have an Arab / Muslim owner. That's the only explanation because if it were against Man Utd, that referee would never consider a penalty.

Shame.


*spits

You are speaking like a child - oh maybe you are one

They need to stop telling these foreigners lies.

PapaAdanna:
In as much as I detest abusing women and treating them wrongly. I have also noticed that most women that run to SM to talk about how they have been abused, are also abusive if not more abusive.
Like it is more dangerous to sustain an internal injury/bleeding so is it to abusing the EGO of a man and hurting his feelings.
You can not always blame a man that has been pushed to the wall and has no other alternative than to retaliate by raising his hands on the verbal abuser ( Woman). No man can come back to a welcoming wife and start beating her. No man can wake up in the morning and start beating a loving and a respectful woman... Unless in rare cases of mental issues.
I am trying to say here that if properly investigated most women shouting ABUSE are the real abusers.

Papa Adana - women will never agree with you on this. It is their god given right to carry out verbal assault, according to them.

Women and their fowl tears. When they are the abusers, they never let the world know about it. However, they are quick to label men toxic and demeaning. Look at her twitter handle because her mom left her step dad she became a feminist witch without an idea of what feminist is and she has started preaching distorted truth

Mynd44:
Pay your taxes and stop the shalaye FC

I wonder. I think this technique is effective because I know FIRS or LIRS would have written severally including numerous reminders, but she choose to ignore them. Now she is preaching on social media.

Mona Lisa go and pay your tax