₦airaland Forum

The gifts are obviously too much for one child; there is only so much toys he can play with.

And the more toys a child has, the quicker he comes bored of them. The less toys, he can explore and be creative about their use.

I hope he doesn't grow up to become a non-committal mam because he is seeking the next thrill.

Oluromantic:
Congrats boy, your mama toto is hardworking.

Women don't make legitimate money in your family?

Fiscus105:
Hope it's not collection of gifts from different men, that are married to their wife.

While their wives enduring to be with husband and kids, you choose to be leaving without control and leaving larger than life at expense of others.

And how is it the woman's problem if men leave their families and spend on her?

Did she take martial vows with them?

She also has a right to choose to 'live without control'. As you testified, she seems to be getting the longer end of the stick.

DemonSlayer:
Skincare:
Vitamin C and retinol make an amazing skincare combo as long as the routine remains consistency and sunscreen is a constant.

Car Paper Renewal:
VIO in Abuja descends on the roads like vultures in January because they know most people's paperwork has expired at the turn of the year. You can be sure of being exploited once your car gets into their office. Renew your papers online before you run into these vultures.

NCAIR and NITDA Are Just As Bad:
NCAIR, by extension NITDA, with all their social media PR, are as lazy and corrupt as the average government agency. Young public servants learn exploitation early.

Meal Prep:
Is amazing! Saves money and gives greater control over one's diet and health by extension. It can be a lot of fun learning about ingredients and cooking techniques.

Pygmalion Effect:
Because of my ability to articulate technical concepts—knowing the right terminology and registers in tech to ensure conciseness—I'm easily perceived as being smart when contributing in class. This perception casts me in a certain light and creates an expectation from my instructors, peers, and myself to stay in character, which further drives me to put in more effort, and I end up rising to the top of most classes I'm in.

The Power of "Yes, it can be done":
Just saying "yes, it can be done" in a meeting where I represented my unit head, even when I wasn't sure how, ended up in my implementing a solution and presenting it to our national chairman several months down the line. I got the best staff award and a ton of respect from peers.

The Cost of "Yes, it can be done":
"Yes, it can be done!" brought me sleepless nights, coding, debugging, working on slides, rehearsing presentations, the inconvenience of being moved around like a pawn on a big man's board, and brought very little monetary reward to justify the effort.

The Advantage of Allowing Coworkers to Fail:
If you're always on hand to help with issues, you might not be fully appreciated, and you create the opportunity for others to steal your shine. Even if you know how to do stuff, fold your hands and don't do anything. Even when approached for help, drag feet and let them struggle. Swoop in at the dying minute and save the day after all hope has been lost—that's the only time everyone would see you as a hero and you get full recognition for your ingenuity.

How to Beat Alcohol:
To beat alcohol, I have to stay as engaged with the journey as I'd be with the bottle, and even more so. I've got to track urges, understand triggers, journal experiences, and learn from the insights generated.

The Power of Community:
As reclusive and introverted as I may be, I'm still a social animal, and belonging to a community that understands and is on the same journey gives me an immense advantage. How do I contribute to community? By engaging with people, providing encouragement, sharing experiences and insights, and learning from others.

Bureaucracy is Messed Up:
I've known this for years, but this year I have experienced it firsthand more than any other time.

AI is an Incredibly Powerful Tool:
AI has multiplied my learning by astounding magnitudes. I've used AI to gain greater self-awareness and understanding of my own mind.

My Mind is a Complex Machine:
I've always felt my mind is simple and my issues are straightforward. I felt I had to protect myself by concealing my simplicity so others don't take advantage. I make fun of people who say they're complex. This year I spent a lot of time contemplating my complexes and their interactions; I ended up with a map of factors and interactions that resemble a cobweb with deeply convoluted networks. This is the most fascinating self-exploratory exercise I've carried out this year.

My Body is Rugged:
I don't always feel like it, but I inhabit a body that can wake up on a Saturday morning, run 21km in less than 3 hours, and recover within two days.

The Incredible Power of Environment Engineering:
If you want to kill bad habits, add as much friction as possible in your environment between you and the habit; if you want to form a new habit, remove as much friction from your environment between you and the habit. I rearranged my room, moved my workspace, and created more space around it, and moved my bed to the wall, creating more, again, space between these. This greater delineation of bed and desk, sleep and work, boosted my productivity and improved my sleep.

Dealing with Illness:
I fell ill in August after doing some deep sanitation of my spaces. I realized how a simple task of cleaning spiraled into a significant health crisis. The combination of stress, exposure to allergens, and delayed medical attention all contributed. I've learned to be more mindful of my environment, my stress level, and the importance of taking immediate action when health issues arise. If ill, the important role of rest, hydration, fresh air, and sticking to prescriptions is crucial.

The Depth of My Ignorance:
I'm still as ignorant as ever. I still have A LOT to learn. I learned to not cover my ignorance to keep up appearances; to ask as many questions and request as much clarity as is allowed. I don't know everything, I can never know everything. People have so much to teach me if I treat them with respect and enter conversation with humility and openness to learn.

Nice points especially the work related part of it.

What is confusing your cousin's sister?

Hope it is not the same thing confusing you that you forgot the sibling of a cousin is a cousin?

In this Animashun's defence, he has stated multiple times that he is not interested in a relationship yet your 'cousin's sister' is confused

A rich man spending money is just that 'spending money'! It is not a proof of love or commitment.

Lovit:
I think the statement that women loves bad boys is wrong... let me explain

presentation is key for every product, you may be a good boy but if the way you present yourself is not Ok, ladies will reject you. In the dating cycle, first impressions matters a lot.

bad boys tends to do well in presenting themselves attractive on the face value, whether they lie about it or not doesn't really matter to women. if you are a good guy, garnish your goodness with a good presentation. Speak boldly and socialize moderately then ladies will come.

No one likes their potential partner to come crude and rough, no matter what value they hold on the inside.

@bold: well said

brain54:
I feel it's not only girls though...

Generally, people take good people for granted!

True.

That's why in addition to goodness/kindness, one must have a great deal of self-esteem and self-respect to mitigate disrespect.

CosmicJames:
There is a pattern I have observed in nature. And it seems that is what is playing out in the case of your sister. She will not change. Infact, she will even get worse with time.
If they eventually marry, then the guy in question must have signed up to a lifetime of misery.

There is a high possibility that the guy in question have previously hurt, maltreat or disappointed a good girl that truly loved him.
And your sister is his punishment for rejecting an angel.

And then a demon comes to the sister's life to deal with her for rejecting the bad man turned good

Lovely analysis 👌 👍 👏

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Bar1941:
1. If runs girls and prostitutes dress provocatively, we understand they are doing it to attract men and get money, but what about all these so called stars, are they also doing it for the same reasons?

That’s how that agbaya called Tiwa Salvage with a grown up boy will be opening her boobs and puna every here and there, are they under any pressure to open up?

1. It will be good to pick their brains to understand them. You are going to sell your talent that we can see, yet you put your body on display like that's all you got to offer.

I understand that the sex appeal is part of what they are selling however, this is trashy!

meobizy:
They take cocaine so they can be confident in these types of dresses. Sadly, that substance lasts only thirty minutes.

I won't be surprised.

phr0nesis:
They'll smile better if they don't have to queue for what to eat

I doubt the person you quoted can process this.

They are used to praising rulers who plucked their feathers when they toss them a little warmth.

xpressionx:
If rice was 25k for 50kg bag all these stampedes wouldn't happen.

Turning Nigerians to Begger's and handing them them food like you are doing them favour is not a win.

Poverty has been weaponized by our rulers for this.

jaksmillioniar:
dat why men hate it wen woman get more salary Dan her hubby. Women got baby brain and can not handle sometin like dis in marriage.why insulting d man evrttime trying to control d man cos u earn more. No man will take dat rubbish.

Women in your family have baby brain, noted.

Not surprised anyways.

Well, her reasoning is right according to NL.

Males here have defended their right to get away with murder because 'they paid brideprice or are the breadwinners'.

The quality of bread they are winning though is discussion for another day.

Some have even claimed that paternity fraud is bad because 'the men uses his resources to care for child that is not his'.

So Yvonne dear, carry on.

galantjoe:
1.
Village juju works base on equity

Provided that it was exactly what happened was narrated here. The gal has no case against to the guy

1. I wish.

To the OP: a lot has been said.

I wonder why people use bigger knots to untie a small one.

Irrespective of the bad blood between them, they are joined by the hip.

They can't marry another person till they are divorced.

I thought it was a nice movie.

I loved some scenes though: when Gbemi properly addresses Zach & puts him in his place; she is not his plaything. As smooth as he was, he was just fluff underneath the mask. I loved that the movie addressed that. It is easy to get carried away with the grand gestures in a world that encourages women to 'judge men by that'. Zach is 'unbankable'.

I also loved the younger version of that road: Fiyin and Elo.... you can't have your best friend pinning for you for years and suddenly think 'he is the one' after been dumped by your ex. I like that Elo refused to settle fir left over of 'wild oat sowing' and picked a girl who chose him even though he still has feelings for Fiyin; else the kiss won't fly. I think it was also wise he kept it secret till it matured.

The young delivery guys didn't feel genuine enough to me. Perhaps, I needed to pay more detail to their character buildup. I know the guy on low cut is more confident that the guy on dreads however he seems cocky and taking the maid for a ride. While the one tangling with IJGB seems over his head that he overshot his target. Even the cousin seems to see him like an escape from her reality; something to play with and come back home.

I like Wale Ojo's speech when he asked for a separation while she clears her head. I think asking her to take RMD's gifts was a test she failed and amended her ways.

Her character wanted stability underneath liking Zach's lyrics. I initially read her character as wanting the 'freedom' of singlehood' while having the attention of multiple men. But again, Wale wasn't going to play that game. I love love love lovers who have self respect/ dignity and know when to say 'I love you, I love myself and I will not be toyed with so I pull back till you have sense or just moving on'.

Feldie:
Dating is different from marrying. She will not be expected to perform wifely duties. She gets sex from the married man and also get money. Doesn't have to wash his clothes, cook for him, carry his baby inside her womb, feed it with her breast, get scolded for not returning early from the market to come and cook. If you are a married woman and your husband is irresponsible and useless, divorce him and look for a rich married man to date

This is a very intelligent assessment of the issue.

A side chic gets the benefits without the responsibilities.

Kukutente23:
You seem to be properly educated. Do you mean your parents chose proper education over subsidy? How did they manage to do that? Did they buy fuel at higher price than other citizens?
How can Buhari be the best on infrastructure when OBJ built about ten power plants in his terms or his roads and rails the only infrastructure that exist in Nigeria?
How does fuel subsidy removal guarantee prosperity for tomorrow given the fact that the budget performed below 50% in a calendar year post subsidy removal

iwaeda:
Either Femi has lost his memory or he is lieing.

It could be a case of both though.

Did Kemi talk about Nigerians or the Nigerian government?

Nigerians are evil is different from the Nigerian government is evil.

floss:
Tinubu was honest from the day he assumed office, he said he’ll hit the ground running, and that’s what he did.

It’s a pity Nigerians are running with him

Oh my goodness!

Johnholmes:
Firstly social media allows any idiot with a voice to air his /her views ...

But the main problem is how most ladies these days have become so rotten that dey have the inclination that sex should be traded for money due to their multiple sexcapades ...

So much so that the idea of getting married and submitting to a man is not appealing to them... .

Sex is supposed to be shared with ur lover not a customer...

No matter how good u wanna paint it , Sharing sex with a customer is not the norm...

# bold:

Given the antecedents of marriage, why should marriage & submission to a 'Nigerian' man appeal to a woman.

Like, how is it supposed to improve the woman's life?

Love800:
These ones are not matured ladies. Intelligent ladies know dat there are many activities to do, apart from sex!

And what are the many activities in marriage that can replace sexual intimacy?

Nwaokunkpara:
Ashawo is trying very hard to justify her ashawo work and make it seem good in the eyes of everyone just as something sacred as marriage



Nkita ara with a prove of her ashawo all over her deflated chest

Is marriage really sacred to the Nigerian man?

dinachi:
I don't know why the OP didn't include that Chidera Eggerue is a well known lesbian writer. A few years ago, she started a movement for saggy boobs!

It's time, we should carefully sieve whatever we see online properly, so we can get a clear handle on the message. Imagine a well known wayward lesbian trying to talk about marriage between a man and woman! What else would you want her to say? To praise it?

That's a lesbian doing everything she can to destroy heterosexual marriages!

If there is no crack in the wall, no lizard will come in.

Instead of bemoaning witches and wizards that want to ruin heterosexual marriages, clean it up!

These people have found gaps in heterosexual marriages that they are leveraging.

If more people especially men treated the opposite sex/ their spouses with more respect, empathy and intentionality, their market will not sell.

udeh3:
Marriage isn't biblical. Marriage is traditional.

Don't marry any man you can't respect

@ bold:

Is that so?

Omoawoke:
Then all you whey no deserve should remain single and leave the game for those who deserve

But the interesting fact is that, a man can stay without a spouse for as long as he wants…
So let’s play if you wanna play

The plenty men remarrying upon widowerhood and divorce strongly disagree with you

NOETHNICITY:
They married you while you have already since been disvirgined by ‘only God knows whom’. And you still want all the love in the world. Nonsense

I don't get.

You mean a woman who wasn't a virgin when she got married ( the man's choice) does not deserve love?

But he expects submission?

Anyways, you will always find foolish, desperate women will to put up with any thrash from men.

Tallesty1:
Women don't inherently have issues with submission; some just struggle with submitting to their husbands. They submit to their boss, pastor, cameraman, best friend, etc, anyone except the man they're married to.

Don't men submit to these people also?

Re: Pastor: if husbands can treat their wives how some pastors treat their congregation, they will not be wailing about submission.

DeeScan:
it can be controlled.. vut Nigerian ladies are just too lazy ..

even mentally lazy....

how come the bulk of Caucasian females still looks fit and slim after Chil birth abi their own Child birth process is different...

In movies or real life?

purples25:
It's the wrapper and the headtie. You have married women dressing up like their husbands moms and you expect them not to look the part. Anyway, that's probably what her husband wants. He probably wants to keep looking young while she looks old, under the guise of dressing mature.

There are gowns that will cover her, yet make her look like a plus sized young model, but this is what hubby wants. E no want make any man look at his woman at all.

And she can't deliver herself?

Anyways? It is the opposite in some cases; the woman wants to look the 'part' while the man wants her younger.

It could also be the rigor and tolls of motherhood.

Four kids in eight years is no joke!