₦airaland Forum

Onegai:
Many, MANY men globally, fumble the good women. I've read forums from different countries and I'm frankly so afraid for my sons.

Because there's so very few good resources teaching men how to be Good, Upright Men.

Even the Church and the Mosque are failing. Now, add Red Pill to it.

Even my male uncles that are elderly now, look back at their mistakes and are full of regrets, some have remorse. But nobody's listening to them and learning from them.

Marriage rates are plummeting, even in Nigeria (it's not yet noticeable, but young people are legit delaying marriage now).

There are a lot of resources and teachings and admonitions for women and very little for men. So women fumble good men, but at lower rates.

Like a wise man once said, "the Divorce rate rising, fewer people wanting to get married and have children and the rise of Feminism can all be attributed to man failing in their godly roles. Because those are all the world trying (and failing) to course-correct the roles a godly man should have filled".

jify:
I was finally allowed to enter the house around 11pm.

I have decided to get separated. My BP is at 200+ and I know I'm at high risk. I have to consider a lot of factors, my children school, when I decide to leave, school needs to be in break so there's no disruption for them.

My mum is away for a burial and won't be back till December, so I need to be sure I have someone to help me settle down, the last times, she was with the kids while I went to work, and the transition was easier for me.

Getting a one bedroom apartment in a good part of Lagos, I need about N1.7m which I never planned for. So I have given myself till December to be able to sort myself. I am done hopping to my sister's house. I also intend to as much as possible avoid any form of conflict, continue with status quo.

My brother would have been ready to help me out with finance but he would escalate the issue because he's already angry and I don't want any more drama.

My sister is aware of my current situation and I know I have someone who would be with me in secret through this whole process. Thank you all so much, I appreciate.

Jorussia:
Personally, What i see here is a man with a low self esteem that is Jealous of his successful wife.I pray to God for me not to change when i get married in about year.This is the kind of woman i pray for,who doing very well for herself.My wife wants to pay for weekend teacher for my children,what's the big deal there?For God sake she works from Monday to Friday.Why should i insist she should teach my children on weekends?is that not wickedness?

We generally don't change when we get married.I am almost 35 and all my close guys are married,and they didn't change very much.
When I see some things they do as married men it doesn't surprise me because that's how they have always been.For me,this marriage stuff,is not a do or die affair.The only deal breaker for me is a cheating spouse.I can't stay with a cheating wife,when i have been faithful
to my marital vows.

The way we were brought up as men usually shape how we become as a husband and father.Can u imagine the audacity to call your mother in law and insult her, because of quarrel with her daughter,nor be see finish be that one?I have married sisters(both elder and younger),I can't imagine their husbands calling to insult my mother,say na wetin happen? Sometimes for years,i don't talk to their husbands and all of us are in Nigeria.One them even message me last month to say bros na wa o.some of us guys here are supporting this so called man.I read one comment here saying may the wife insulted his family that's why he pick up the phone to rain insults on wife's mum,can u imagine that kind yeye talk?Abeg make i rest here,this thread they annoy me.

Mille:
Doesn't even include love or hate. Being a good or bad wife/mother doesn't automatically mean the person loves or hate husband/children.

Good wife - Does many of the things expected of a wife (by her husband or societal standards)

Bad wife - Doesn't do many of the things children (or the society) expects from a mother.

For example, you can claim to love your child, but if after they close from school, you put a tray on their head to go and hawk groundnut on the expressway, you are a bad mother.


Take this scenario that unfolded this year in the estate I live in.

Husband is the breadwinner. Husband loses his source of income while wife only has a petty shop just outside the estate. Wife is supportive of husband in his downtime. Takes charge of the home using her petty business, uses her finance to make him able to attend interviews, and uses her contacts to find him job opportunities, and ultimately lands him a job. Home was kept running smoothly without husband having to borrow from friends or family.

The truth was wife's business was not flourishing either during this downtime. Turns out wife, without the knowledge of the husband or anyone else, has been pimping out her 12 year old daughter to the Hausa men who do security for many of the houses in the estate. It was only exposed when she tried stopping after the husband was back on his feet.

In less than 3 sentences, do you consider her a good/bad wife/mother?

Capernum:
My sisters are very submissiveness to their husbands.. It's not rossy anywhere.

Any good marriage you see out there are product of several endurance, wise actions and patience.

Mumu. You think everyone gives up quickly on marriage like you? OYO is your case.


Op's marriage will work out, she'll pay the price while you continue to stay out of marriage with your deformed toxic children you're raising alone.

GloriousGbola:
Actually the same occurs in Nigeria. Imho for at least some women the suffering is some sort of badge of honor Sort of like the way we celebrate working hard instead of working smart

achimendy:
When the husband was busy working for 7 to 8 hours to provide for his family where were you, oh you didn't think of that? Now the man comes back from work tired and decided to relax by taking a chilled drink and also watch football, then the selfish woman that you're start getting angry. You women are just too self-centerd.

Everyone in the family has his or her own role to play, the wife does her own which is to keep the home, while the husband does his own too by providing and protecting his family. The early you understand this the better for you. Stop using the word slave, nobody forced you to get married, if you're not ready to do what marriage says then don't get married.


Shalom

Maeve7:
She doesn’t cook? She doesn’t clean? She is not bathing, feeding, entertaining, teaching the children? She doesn’t do laundry? She is not shopping the groceries? She doesn’t take out the trash?

Nothing?

derdon2024:
We are leaving in the end time,women now want to be like men.Talk like men,take responsibility like men, dress like men.Do evrything a man does.Possibly maybe God should not have created that gender , they are a whole lot of confused gender.In the first place, what i see now is that there is confusion evrywhere.The feminist movement are working hard to make women see they can be equal to men,they must have equal right in everything.In reality, live cannot be balanced.Women dont want to be married again because they see marriage as a slavery.Also men see marriage as a slavery where the man work out his ass to provide.I see lesbian women working hard to be men and foolish gay men working hard to be women.Definitely, confusion every where and i fear for the new ideas modern men and women have , this is a crazy age

descarado:
Thank you Acid.
We are the architect of our problems.

I have boys.
Oga cook while his boys watch. Fast forward, they own the kitchen now. Just that I spent triple on spices and herbs and whatever. Its a complete nightmare but i really care less. Nobody tells me they have finished until I want to use them.
I can't remember when last I loaded the washing machine, vacuumed or mop. If you fail to do any, you are grounded. We will start taking off your privileges. Passworded all tv, no phone, laptops are for homeworks only. Will simply tell you to go and be creative with your time. Sult for all I care. If you disturb me more, I will tell you to write I am sorry 500 times

This way, you teach your male child to be proactive at home. We spoil them and still cry woof.
I don't even have a female around me. Growing up was that way too. All men around me do exactly what women do and more. I just don't understand the things I read online

queenfav:
How do i frame this? People forget having kids is a huge responsibility financially, emotionally and otherwise.It eludes me why People who are clearly financially struggling have so many kids.

Like, you haven't even fed well and you have 4 kids in this economy.Even an oil worker will struggle a bit with the kind of inflation we are dealing with in Nigeria.Have you seen the prices of basic household items, school fees even ordinary food?
I don't even know how low income earners are surviving.

I always advice women to secure the bag.This world isn't fair to women,you have to protect yourself.If you are not making your own money no matter how small you have no business having kids.It's too risky to rely on your husband for money.What if he dies?How will you feed those kids?Bringing a child to endure hunger and hardship isn't the best at all.

More women should learn how to be very strategic about their life's choices because when the suffering will start,na only you go see the shege.

iamtoofan:
je ka gborun jare !! Do mothers not manipulate the children against the man, does anyone need to paint the devil bad or does the devil need a reason to be bad

How can fathers bond with the kids when he spends more time hustling and working his butt off to provide,

How can the kids bond with man, there mother use as disciplinarian or threat, i will report you to your dad as if the dads are sadist.

How many mothers tell there children the sacrifices there father made, most children growup thinking if not for their mother protest, their father wont have done anything


Men bypass your wife if you must
.. let your kids see what you do. shikena

cococandy:
If I could have a super power, I would want it to be the power to open Nigerian women’s eyes.
Be to men how they are to you. Do to them EXACTLY as they do unto you and half of these stories will die in 6 months. Men understand consequences more than anything else.
No low effort man gets a girlfriend, wife or family.
No disrespectful man gets a baby.

Acidosis:
If you look closely, you'll find that some of the women who complain about their husbands barely helping with household chores have sons they rarely allow to do the same. I once asked a married woman why her two boys, aged 10 and 7, couldn't make a simple meal like noodles. Her response: 'They are boys.' This same woman complains every other day about her 'lazy' husband.

Women who expect more from their husbands should start by raising sons who actively contribute at home. Be the change you want to see.

Also, men who complain about Nigerian girls should strive to be the change they want to see. Be a role model to your daughters, raise the standard, give maximum financial support to your daughters, and the complaints will reduce.

kkins25:
I don't think there's any inherent skills to parenting. If both individuals are stable, then I don't see why they can't guide children.



I didn't get it from my first read.. Wow! I think it's too harsh oh!

kkins25:
They should instead adopt children, and stop using women's bodies as baby chambers.

SmartPolician:
That man is 1000% right! Electricity has improved in the past couple of months. Those who don't own cars have no business with fuel stations. Many people have admitted on Nairaland that electricity supply has improved in their area.

joseph1832:
Well, this is how many women end up getting old and retiring to the church, paying tithes and sowing seeds and hoping their pastor will perform the miracle of getting the perfect man for them to marry. Lmao.

pocohantas:
I have never thought of it this way.
But reading your opening paragraph, you perfectly captured it.

Na them be this @ attached pic.

Acidosis:
This is the "666" mode of operation. Join us or lose everything.

I love people who stand by their values. A time will come when people will no longer be able to sit on the fence. The bench sitting crew are always the problem.. Their voices are only heard when it no longer matters

Matheusmartin:
..
Doesn't he has freedom to choose to sign or not??

pocohantas:
Painfully so. What kind of head doesn't lead by example? Even in a workplace, if the unit head is sleeping around and demanding energy he isn't giving - what happens? I would have thought this is common sense. But to them it is feminism.

pocohantas:
Indeed they do. It is how they think they have achieved the level of wealth to live out these delusions. All this hubris on top crypto. Naija women dey really see something o.

dkidd:
How can breaking another person's spirit be beneficial to me? Stop all these. It's not even making sense. Values U don't bring to the table? Leadership is by example and U are even sounding like U know me when U don't. U ladies should try and chill sometimes. Everything is already broken the way it is. Being rebellious helps no one, especially women

pocohantas:
Nawa. This one loud o.

dkidd:
I still don't understand why a lot of U ladies always see it this way when all we mean is good for us?

Mcslize:
Say no to insubordination. We men see insubordinate and no submissive ladies as men like us. When you act unsubmissive as a lady, it kills your feminine aura. It will make you appear disgusting.

We men love women that exhume submissive aura. It turns us on like mad. But if you start acting all manly around and clamouring for power tussle, Oooooops, we will trash you in the dust bin. Ladies who clamour for power tussle have no place in a man's life.

That's why the s*x toy industry is booming today cuz women that think can do without men are the major patronisers.

If you don't want to end up a baby mama as a lady, it's high time you started learning to be submissive to the leadership of a man. Two men can't take up leadership in the same house. There will be a terrible clash.

Take this advice now or be ready to be a baby mama that is if you're not already.

Fujiyama:


Strange thread.