₦airaland Forum

Daresh:
It isn't racism, it's anti Nigerian men. Yes who guys are totally and royally messed up.

slimyem:
I have tried not to comment on this thread given that Sagamite is one who is strongly stuck to his opinions/beliefs of what Naija girls are or are not and it'd be pointless to go arguing with him but i'll just say this...
@Sagamite...i hope you know/believe we are mostly shaped by our environments and are products of the same.
How can you expect the same attitude,social harmony, etiquette and polish of Europeans,South Africans,and all the other countries whose girls fit in your definition of "class" and all Naija girls..?
How do you expect a girl who was bred in Mushin,grew up amongst the rudest set of males to behave like an European chic who grew up around men who respected her and and who generally was more exposed?
Nigerian girls are rude because Nigerian men are equally rude.
...and traditionally women here have been made to believe they are to be chased not the other way round.
Things are changing gradually but its slow.
Nigerians are generally proud people too and it doesn't exclude the women.
There are also girls like Johanna but not in large number.They fall in the group of the few exposed ones and ones who have imbibed western culture.
Our social cultures are different so expecting the same of us is a bit unfair!

Fancier:
Well i see a lot of posters also recommend crayfish which i feel its not a bad idea, but from research too, its is said that cray fish are not so good for some certain blood group especially the B blood group. Its about eating right for your type. As for onion, scent leave they are also good. We still have some other spice like Turmeric, coriander,parsley and so on. My advice is never purchase already processed or mixed spice, you really can not tell what else has been added to them.

kevinberry:
[b]That reminds me,since this thread mostly compasses single's matured women..

I want your views concerning this issue

There is a lady just opposite our compound here in my estate,for some reasons she is married yet,but the compound and house which she resides in was purchased by one certain man...for some reasons the man is married,living in another compound with his wife and children ,so it seems the man promise this lady marriage,and this lady says she can't wait any longer,that the man keeps on postponing. The marriage,and this certain lady goes to club like club her cocaine that keeps her alive ,so many people have whispered to the man concerning this woman wayward life,so she changed tactics,she stopped taking her car with her,instead hire a cab that will always pick her up and drop her back, so my question now is that...as a woman,would you advice the man,supposing he his your brother,to go ahead with the marriage,is it morally right,considering her wayward and carefree life,clubbing,taking of alcohol,hustling etc...would you advice someone close to you to marry such woman.....

Your views please[/b]

EfemenaXY:
Imagine this!

So Bukky, they drove / sent you lot packing on the grounds that you lot aren't intellectually capable to hold down an intelligent conversation with them - and instead of holding your ground and proving them wrong, you hightail, with your tails firmly tucked between your legs, and meekly (submissively) oblige...only to come here to talk knitting / boy-friend saga / idle, non-substantive, female chit-chat??

I feel sooooooooo insulted. Infact, c'man take ma name off that your list jare.

At times like this, I seriously miss

~ Debrief
~ Aisha2
~ Ileobatojo
~ Jennykadry
~ Carefreewannabe
~ BabyOsisi a.k.a BabyMama.

zemaye:
Chillis
Kimoni
Naijababe
Edwife
Sayoberry
Damiso
Bukatyne
And others too numerous to mention
I yaf arrife o
Yes.
As Chillis talk when you workout you no go know when you dey reverse for mirror daily to check yourself out.
I don finish my fast na bumpa to bumpa now with the fitfam movement.
Make una see my denim we just begin enter
The black pant is my old pair that has refuse to seat on my waist anymore

tearoses:
Question of the year
he just wants to cause trouble ni
It involves maths and Excel so he has to be here
Someone mentioned the number 50, and his antenae picked it up . . He is already crunching it into Excel

Kimoni:
you sef don tire??

My eyes don dey see double sef

jaybee3:
I dey hiaaaa Sister bukatyne

I can see madam tearosè lurking

cococandy:
I think she means of one doesn't believe in equality, then they believe in inequality.

bukatyne:
While we decide what is equality and not? Where is jaybee3 sef
Who knows what coriander leaf is in Yoruba/Nigerian parlance?
Thanks

Kimoni:
there is?? What are they called? do they have different waves too? Pls educate me biko

Kimoni:
Inequality has no proponents

babygirlfl:
ok, I hear you Ma

Kimoni:
But how do you measure that?



Modified

Kimoni:
Then I misunderstood her. So in marriage terms, what does "worth" refer to?

babygirlfl:
The main problem many people have with this head thing is because of abuse. When there is abuse of a system, the natural thing is for people to ask for change. There are many men who abuse the position of being the head. My question is what should be done to such men? Don't you think there should be check and balances in this head thing. Leadership is supposed to be a position of service and responsibility. If men are to get the position authomatically, should there not be a way to check his excesses? Obama was voted in and can still be voted out. Does this happen in marriage?

On equality, I like to see it as when both partners are worth the same in a marriage. It's not about washing plate and all that. I know Nairaland have made it so but it appears so because we are in the family section where such topics come up. When a man is simply refusing to wash dishes because it's beneath him, then that means he thinks he is worth more than the woman who is going to wash the dish. Equality means even when the man works and the wife stays at home, they are worth the same and vice versa. I don't care what people do in their homes. What I fight for is that both man and woman are worth the same and both have a choice.

On roles, I think this should be common sense. If a one partner solely provides, it's common sense that the other takes care of the home. If they both provide, it's common sense that both tend to the home. The problem is when husband and wife both work and somehow only the woman should do the chores or in extreme situations where only the woman works and still does everything at home.

On submission, I think it's one thing where people say one thing and do another. Nobody can follow the dictionary meaning and we both know the danger of following individual definitions. The confusion the word submission actually cause today it's because different people have given it different definitions. The reason why I don't agree with it is that you don't know the definition that the other person might give it.

Also as someone already said, it's simple - If you don't support equality, you support inequality.

freecocoa:
No be small make she no vex.

In the end, it is different for everyone and just like babygirl has said, it is the abuse of this headship thingy that has brought about this war.

Chidoks:
Yes it's annoying when the woman makes 90% efforts to keep the home in one piece.it's absolutely irritating to know hubby might be indulging though you've not caught him red handed.it's emotionally tasking and stressful for you to wonder if he's having an extra marital affair but in all these what can a godly woman do.
divorce? for me it's not an option.marriage is like any other venture.yoy can make it stand and you can watch it crumble .it all depends on what you want.

Chidoks:
i make no excuse for no man.i've never seen where God permitted adultary.no matter who does it; it's 100% wrong.
But the prayer is preventive.to turn the heart of the man to God before he brings home disease, before he brings a demonised woman home, nay before he goes deep into sin..the bible says that the heart of a man is in the king's hand...God turned pharoa's heart strong and in due time turned it soft again.the essence of that prayer is for God to turn the man's heart away from adultary.is that bad? does it mean that men should go on and cheat? no .God forbid.

Chidoks:
i still ask, apart from divorce do you have any other suggestion on how to handle an adultrous husband? i truly want to know.thanks.

freecocoa:
But is it though buky?

With those things mentioned, your will is still yours but with submission, the story changes.

There's a difference in doing what a person politely asks of you, than the one ordered of you.

freecocoa:
Because I don't see why I have to submit to anyone, we are equals.

bukatyne:
@Freecocoa, the bold is for you
I laugh when I see people say submission is what makes a wife 'inferior' to a husband
There is NO human relationship without submission and obedience....
Ed.wify said we should stick to a topic and we did... that is obedience in plain English.
Your husband says he wants jollof rice; you cook it... obedience
Your wife says she wants coldstone ice-cream; you branch to buy it... obedience
Your bestie says you should give her your cream top; you package it wella and give her ... obedience
Even the Bible we reference said everyone should submit one to another Eph 5:21..
Whatever rocks our boats jor
@cococandy; nice one
Whether senior, junior, equals, inequals etc., you will submit in all relationships at a point and you will be submitted to...

And it is not the slave-master relationship NL alludes to.

cococandy:
On the matter of submission, there can't be any successful union without it.

I know the dictionary definition means giving way to a higher authority.
Does it mean that when a man submits to the wife's will she has the higher authority for that moment?
That's one reason why men will hardly agree that they submit but in actual fact they do.
Everybody submits. even in casual friendships much less a marriage.
The better term for it is compromise. But it doesn't change the fact that it is the same thing.

anyone who insists on having their way and the final say at all times will have a very unhappy and resentful partner.

So we compromise (AKA submit) and let the other person's will be done because we aren't selfish and we love peace to reign.

Men do it. And women do it too. You can't be a successful socially balanced human if you can't do that.

Only NL makes it sound like a bad thing.

Chillis:
My dear, ever since I was growing up , my dreams always come to past. And I prophesy too.

But naija no try. No one took me serious. Instead they say I should go for deliverance . Imagine that.

If to say na US dem born me, I for don turn special agent FBI. . Decoding all the terrorist hideouts etc

freecocoa:
She didn't have to chat with the lady.

The husband is an a$$hole definitely but she allowed herself be insulted like this.