₦airaland Forum

freecocoa:
Yea I got that, I was trying to say that, the bible's definition of it is not explicit enough, as is the case with the whole bible.

Did you read the whole chapter?

dinachi:
@ Chidoks I can really see you are very insightful, mature and intelligent.Your type gets things done at home without raising her voice and shouting meaningless slogans about equality. Your down to earth explanations should be the criteria for pathetic female clowns here who instead of dealing with their father issues prefer to call themselves nairaland feminists.

I believe you read the OP

And so far, the discussion had been devoid of bitterness.

Please leave it that way.

Thanks.

Chidoks:
cocacandy, the thing is this.when you go all out to sincerely respect a man, he grows soft towards you.he tends to listen to you because you respect him.
Every man that is worth it sees himself as the boss, the captain of the ship called marriage.he had his ego.all you berd do is to massage his ego by respecting him.not necessarily being a fool but meekness that would reach out to his soul and soften the hardest part of him.once you get to that point, that man would have the urge to give back.
Now the only way he can give back is not to respect you.no.it's by seeking to please you.he shows it by doing things that will make you happy.he will do things he wouldn't have naturally done just to please you; things you may or not have asked for.
at this point if you stop he stops but if you continue you lead him on and this man will provide, protect, abd defend you with all he's got.
On the other hand if you show him that you are equal, competition starts.he will be compelled to maintain his top position which manufests in wickedness, rejecttion, and beating

@Bolded:

What is wrong with a man respecting you? What is your definition of respect?

@post:
It is human nature to yield to people who treat you with love and respect

Even an 'egoless' woman will lock horns with you If you do not treat her with respect.

Caracta:
Exactly. And it turns out well for the two.

Ok

@Sagamite:

So on point @ the Theresa May example.

Hopefully, blacks bend down to build themselves to a level they cannot be intimidated.

freecocoa:
Don't you just love the bible.

For you to be charitable, you have to have love in you, no?

Biko charity is an act of love ni.

I meant Charity means love. That's the KJV version

How Chaste means virgin, know means sex, conceive means get pregnant, maid means young girl etc.

Sagamite:
Yep. It is an aristocratic set-up.

If you look at the genealogy of majority of those at the top in the UK, you will find they are descendent from one famous person/family or the other.

These descendancy helps such people in entering the top secondary schools, which gives them a leg up to enter Oxbridge, which then gives them the gloss to say they are the best, the only ones that know the answers and the only ones to rule.

That is what Jeremy Corbyn is facing right now.

Out of all the Labour leadership candidates, he is the only one that did not go to Oxbridge.

So the press (full of Oxbridge alumni) have decided to attack his viability as leader by asking "Will he not alienate labour?". When actually, he is likely to do the opposite.

They are attacking him by asking an "innocent question".

You know that normal brainwashing "question" tactic used by the Media to create a debate that never existed ............................so they can point out that the debate exists.

Remember: 45% of UK media professionals (all newspaper editors, columnists and broadcasters) attended Oxbridge.

They use that approach alot in their pro-homosexual tactics as well. "Ask a question to create a debate that never existed so you can say it is a debate that is going on once the question is being answered, so we need to address it. Hence the debate continues because it is generating different answers and now it is established as a debate (which never existed before). Now it is a debate, then it is an issue that in its existing form might be wrong".

If you are not in that connection, irrespective of your race, you are highly likely to face a glass ceiling.

You need to gloss yourself with a top university and top roles in prestigious firms to have a chance.

That is what Thiam Tidjane did.

True true

Even bringing it down here, you find out a number of relatively young people in top managerial positions went to the right schools/came from the right families/knew the right people.

Richiy:
I put the equal in parenthesis to indicate that it should not be taken literally.

Sorry missed that.

I am translating that to rude and rancorous...

I agree with you

Chidoks:
The aim is not to control / run the man.the aim of respecting him is to have a crisis free home but the resultant effect us that the man us softened by your humility and resoect.he ib turn feel to give back.he gives back by doing the things you wish/ ask.

Hmmmmm

cococandy:
Lola bukatyne and submission

I'm sorry I don't know what to say.

This is one topic that no one discusses in their homes except on nairaland and maybe in church on wedding days. Trust those pastors.

Well my DH he doesn't like me meek. My fiestiness is a plus. Anything I don't like, I don't like it. We have to find a way to work around it, not make me do it because I must submit. Of course I compromise a lot too. So does he.

Freecocoa said that's not submission as long we still both have our free wills unlike the true definition of submission which I think no one really practices and she disagrees. Werin I wan talk again?

Case dismiss.

Na real me and submission

I just noticed the theme and wanted a thread to address it joor.

Fiesty mama

freecocoa:
You know what I think about the bible, with obvious reasons ofcourse.

How does the bible define love?

Ewoo, I am mobile

Let me see

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13&version=KJV

Charity is Love

Chidoks:
it beats me o.sha they are 'sophisticated women'!

Dear,

This thread is actually for the 'sophisticated' women.

No offense

Caracta:
Not be in control per se but be in sync with your spouse. Not like you turn him into a zombie. The same way we understand our parents so well and know what to do when we are broke in school. You know the right button to press. Doesn't mean you are in control.

Don't you think that in a loving relationship, a man also knows the 'buttons' to press to get his wife to agree with him? Or see his POV?

Richiy:
But many ladies don't know this. In their bid to be "equal" and not sidelined, they get it wrong. Respect a man and he will get the whole world for you.

What do you understand by being equal?

freecocoa:
Lol, I will tell your brethren in the lord.

The above is not submission, that's trying to reach a compromise.

love
lʌv/Submit
noun
1.
a strong feeling of affection.
"babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"
synonyms: deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment; More
2.
a great interest and pleasure in something.
"his love for football"
synonyms: liking, weakness, partiality, bent, leaning, proclivity, inclination, disposition; More

This is the dictionary definition of love yet this is not the Biblical meaning of love

Don't tell

babygirlfl:
N

Thanks sagamite. Bukatyne, this is what I was trying to explain. People experience tribalism at home and are very ok with it. Then come to the UK and start shouting racism. Most shout racism to cover up their inadequacy and because the authorities will maybe listen while the Nigerian government won't even listen if they shout tribalism.

Very very true

Once you are out of the circle, you have got to be extra good to break forth

zicoraads:
Sorry ma

No P

A plate of Nkwobi for you

Caracta:
Stalker



I agree. There is a way you can 'run' a man and he wouldn't even know what you are doing to him. Women always underestimate the power they have.

Chidoks:
You've just hit the hammer on the head! The moment you let the man know he's the boss, hmnnnnn.you will be in control but he won't even know.nothing appeals to a man like meekness and respect.this is the ticket to stress free marriage

And why do you want to run a man/ be in control?

micronut:
If it's not submission, then it's "Respect". You can respect someone and not submit to his or her will but when you submit, you respect and submit.

Check the examples i gave above, Husband (More superior) to Wife, Parents (More superior) to Children and Masters (More Superior) to Slaves.

A general saying says, Respect is reciprocal but submission is not. In short, submission is giving all of an individual to another in exchange for nothing.

Ok, thanks

zicoraads:
A thread for feminists, by feminists and for feminists
Am just here to stalk Caracta and read comments

Please don't derail

Tenk

Sagamite:
Get priorities right
Be interested in the right things. Not Skelewu, gym, fashion, pouring champagne while you work in Tesco warehouse and wanting to be an athlete.

Focus on success rather than being cool.

Go to the library, read your books, listen to the news, have an intellectual circle of friends, stay in school. Just have some intellectual levels.

Black men should stay and raise their kids
If you can't be married, because you are not with the mother of your kids does not mean you should abandon your kids and not be there to mentor them.

Then you carry your moronic deeck to have more and abandon them as well.

Too many single mothers raising kids on their own and having kids for cretins.

Be the best you can be
Be the best you can be in anything you do or say.

Take pride in your work and what comes out from your mouth.

Your work, behaviours and utterances is your brand. It is what is used to stereotype people.

The standard of work, behaviours and utterances of black people is beyond moronic. I would not employ 99% of Nigerians to do any work for me.

By getting your priorities right and being good in these priorities, the brand would improve.

Indians and Chinese are seen as brainboxes by whites.

Blacks are seen as cool ediots.

Entrepreneurship
There is too much focus on jobs in black and Nigerian communities.

Only illiterates normally think of owning their own business. We raise our best to look for jobs.

Have your own business instead of waiting for people to appoint you.

If you are appointed, you can be disappointed.

2.4bn Christians!
1.6bn Muslims!
43m Jews!

43m!!!!! Not bn.

Yet, the Jews run the world despite being a hated people.

Why?

Because they have a culture of entrepreneurship.

Lets start being intelligent and appointing ourselves.

Pastor Sagamite has spoken

lagmostkuit:
Hmmmm

Talk na

ladyF:
Both parties should submit. Husbands submit to your wife too.

Men are called to love even if they do mean same thing in principle.

freecocoa:
And this is the point, no one christian or not, can submit to anyone without having to do what the other wants at all times, how many christians do you know that do exactly what the bible/God instructs?

Babes,

Christians are the worst examples of submission

If you are married to the right person and spent your courtship well, there will be little things he will want that will not sit well with you. It is now left for you both to discuss/negotiate/sacrifice and see what's best for all.

Caracta:
Yeah. I'm not a feminist, feminazi, neither do I cringe at the word 'submission'.

Nice thread btw.

Thanks

micronut:
in Ephesians 5, the apostle Paul explains to Christians how to live the Christian life: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" (verse 21).

The word submit is surely one of the most difficult, disliked, and divisive words in the Bible. But Paul says to these Christians,"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Whatever the word submit means, it's something Paul thinks every Christian can and should do. He then illustrates how to submit by giving three examples from relationships in his day—wives and husbands, children and fathers, and slaves and masters.

In each example, one person has more power, and one person has far less power.

If Submission is only amongst people with higher/lower power, are all Christians more powerful/less powerful than themselves?

Caracta:
You have to be humble before you can be submissive.

Over the years, submission has been re-defined. You abuse your spouse and expect submission. You expect him/her to shiver at your presence and worship you. Submission is not fear. This is where the mix-up lies.

From love to humility to submission. Not fear.

Nice one

You have to be humble... It helps put a lot of things in perspective\

Thanks

Don't go anywhere else i will e-drag you back

Caracta:
Oh...how did I miss this part?

Have fun ladies

You are none?

You are still welcome. I just saw a lot of 'submission' = slavery i wanted to correct

freecocoa:
I do understand your angle but I don't agree that's what submission means according to the bible and you do have to be unequal to submit but anyways, nice advice.

Thanks

That's what it means....

Christians are to submit to Christ yet you don't see anyone living like slaves or brainless chickens.

Christians are also called to submit to each other... except that means all Christians are 'inferior'/'unequal' to each other.

EroticAngelina:
I've never been to a church where the pastor or person preaching doesn't shout..

Does the shouting make the blessing more effective or what?? go abroad, ull never see a pastor literally screaming in ur ears thru the speakers

I want to know why it is so.

When you are talking of something passionate to you, after a while you start to raise your voice or dramatize..

Often Pastors preach under the unction of the Holy Spirit and when they are done, they reach an anticlimax hence the standard prayer... God should replace every virtue they have lost.

Pastors can rarely preach back to back same day.

They have to recharge themselves spiritually

Hello peeps

I sometimes stumble on old threads and go through them again and picked on this 'submission' stuff again.

This thread is mainly for single 'feminists', 'feminazis' and ladies who cringe at the word submission.

Now I am referring to it as used in the Bible and not Nairaland's /Nigerian definitions and assuming the man in question knows what it is to love so this will be to ladies

Someone once defined it as 'loyalty'... that's a nice one.

Loosely defined, i will say it is all about learning what your man wants and doing it & pleasing your man. Now I do not care about what 'men' want but there is one man whose like and dislikes matter most to you as a lady. It is not being 'controlled' or 'treated like a slave' or having no say in your affairs. You also do not have to be a man's inferior or unequal to submit.

Infact, the dynamics of submission happens in every relationship including those with your friends. You know that your best friend you bend backwards for, always what to do what makes her happy, give her your loyalty and faithfulness.... translate that to your husband or boyfriend on a higher level.

Now it is your duty to enter a relationship/marriage with the right person. That way, it flows naturally as you always want your man to be happy and learn to be intuned with his needs. (No one is perfect and it is a process which you can start today )

So I say ladies... go and be found by your soul mate (If you are interested in getting married).

P.S.: I believe submission should start from a relationship (My personal opinion)


I will 100% appreciate we stick to the topic.

It is common knowledge I am a feminist and believe men and women are equal. I do not want anti-feminists rants on this thread.

Happy Sunday to everyone.

bellong:
I am not against couple using each other's gadgets be it phone or laptop but doing so with the purpose of snooping is a turn-off.

True

BigJakie:
I'm not sayin she's claiming right, what I meant was Nigeria is not as free as other countries where you walk around through dark alleys and not be harmed.

Take precautions or go ahead and counter my advise...

@Bold:

True...

However, i do not think there is any country you can walk in a dark alley and be safe.... The only difference might be the law's reaction to it.