₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Find Out!]Bukatyne, the God we muslims worship created the heavens and the Earth, Adam, Eve, Abraham, Isaac, Noah, Jacob, Jesus Christ, David, Solomon, Prophet Muhammad, Jonah, Job (Peace be upon them all) e.t.c. The God we muslims also worship has asked us to serve Him, not ascribe any partners or equals to Him, believe in His Oneness, power and supremacy, and obey His commandments because a day will come when we will be made to account for our actions.

If our God is "100 percent different" from yours, i hereby respectfully ask you, Are you an idol/ "Man of God"/ son of man worshipper?? Sincere apologies if this question offends you, but please answer. I'm curious .

I'm a Muslim, and i have copies of the Qur'an (thats our Holy Book containing all mankind needs to know to be successful here on earth and in the hereafter) in Arabic & English, so all i said above describing the God muslims serve have their basis in that Qur'an.[/quote]I am not offended by your question

The muslim God didn't create Jesus Christ. Christ is a title meaning 'The Anointed one' or 'Messiah' that's why Jesus Christ is sometimes referred to as 'The Christ'. Jesus was a very common name amongst the jews

I don't worship man of God/Idol or whatever. Ask yourself these questions:

Why would the same 'God' say different things in His books (Bible and Quran)?
God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten SOn that whosoever believeth in HIm {Jesus Christ} shall not perish but have everlasting life John 3:16

Do you believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ?

Do you believe in the Holy Spirit?

Are you a son of God?

Is your God the God of Isreal? The Christian God expressively identified Himself with the Jews/Isrealites and called Himself 'The Holy One of Isreal', 'The Husband of Isreal', 'The Father of Isreal' etc.

Muslims have been promised paradise while Christians have been promised Heaven. why?

Find Out, If you sincerely read the Bible and Quran, you will know that they are talking about two different 'Gods'.

uplawal: Some muslimas here should not mislead other good obedient muslimas,A wife should always obey her husband even if He uses commanding tone,in all things except what is Haram,i mean what Allah forbids,Allah specifically said a righteous woman obeys her husband,i don't know what some women are feeling these days,Alhamdullilahi, the sisters i keeps as friends always mute when their husbands talk,until He finishes,they don't argue,at the end it pays the wife,She gets rewarded firstly for obeying Allah in that verse,secondly she gets reward for obeying her Husband.

Honestly Deol,if you already have the plan to live like your writeups,its only happens in fairys,am in a three years marriage i can tell you majority of men likes their wives to be submisive regardless of whatever except what Allah forbids.

Uplawal, good evening.

No two marriages are the same.

Deols has the exclusive right to pray for the kind of marriage she desires and I am sure God will give it to her.

I am not deols BUT I don't want a marriage where I would be 'mute' when my husband talks and I don't wish such for her.

uplawal: Some muslimas here should not mislead other good obedient muslimas,A wife should always obey her husband even if He uses commanding tone,in all things except what is Haram,i mean what Allah forbids,Allah specifically said a righteous woman obeys her husband,i don't know what some women are feeling these days,Alhamdullilahi, the sisters i keeps as friends always mute when their husbands talk,until He finishes,they don't argue,at the end it pays the wife,She gets rewarded firstly for obeying Allah in that verse,secondly she gets reward for obeying her Husband.

Honestly Deol,if you already have the plan to live like your writeups,its only happens in fairys,am in a three years marriage i can tell you majority of men likes their wives to be submisive regardless of whatever except what Allah forbids.

Uplawal, good evening.

No two marriages are the same.

Deols has the exclusive right to pray for the kind of marriage she desires and I am sure God will give it to her.

I am not deols BUT I don't want a marriage where I would be 'mute' when my husband talks and I don't wish such for her.

uplawal: Some muslimas here should not mislead other good obedient muslimas,A wife should always obey her husband even if He uses commanding tone,in all things except what is Haram,i mean what Allah forbids,Allah specifically said a righteous woman obeys her husband,i don't know what some women are feeling these days,Alhamdullilahi, the sisters i keeps as friends always mute when their husbands talk,until He finishes,they don't argue,at the end it pays the wife,She gets rewarded firstly for obeying Allah in that verse,secondly she gets reward for obeying her Husband.

Honestly Deol,if you already have the plan to live like your writeups,its only happens in fairys,am in a three years marriage i can tell you majority of men likes their wives to be submisive regardless of whatever except what Allah forbids.

Uplawal, good evening.

No two marriages are the same.

Deols has the exclusive right to pray for the kind of marriage she desires and I am sure God will give it to her.

I am not deols BUT I don't want a marriage where I would be 'mute' when my husband talks and I don't wish such for her.

maclatunji: Wirinet is so on point. Even the man's wife will understand- she would be bitter at first but the man and the widow can go a long way in mitigating that anger.

They could end-up being best of friends like sisters. Even sisters fight, so don't come and tell us they will fight.

Ladies, show love and consideration to your fellow women. The story of the banker from wirinet is quite depressing.

A woman could end up best of friends with her brother-in-law's wife who became her co-wife? How do you see life? Do you know what love means? Can you share your wife with your brother who became a widower (God forbid)? Do you sometimes think women don't feel?

I say it again, you sometimes amaze me.

lrguru: This happened yesterday night.

[b]There was this girl that added me up on facebook sometime ago, but she doesn't chat with me. I have deleted her a couple of times before, but she keeps on adding me again. Ok....whenever i say hi, she wont reply even tho she is online, not until one day she said hello, and was so cold towards me from the way she responded, then after we had chatted for over two months, the camel (babe) said she wanted to see me, that she loves me and all that ish, i was like 'love ke', i have got a serious fiancee who is prettier than any woman here on earth, so what do i need this ill-mannered chick for.

After too much beggin that she wanted to see me, i finally invited her over cos she was livin in the same city with me. The day we met for the first time was yesterday evenin, and guess what, the babe didn't come alone, she came with 5-hungry-looking-malnourished-friends who all seemed to me like they haven't eaten for days. I wasn't pained at all, so in my magnanimity, i didn't just take them to a cheap eatery, but i took all six of them in my car to the restaurant of a 5-star hotel.[/b]

Now when we got there, the chick were all actin hungry like their primary mission was to come suck me (whom the presumably concluded as a potential maga) but guess what, me na baddest guy. I asked what they wanted, and some othered for bottle of chamdor, one fo0l even ordered vodka right before my very eyes,and they all ate to their fill, and like parasites that they were, they were not satisfied, and like oliver twist, they wanted more. After using my discression to calculate how much they have consumed, it was about 75k, that wasn't bad, but guess what really got me pis5ed off? The swines said, that I, should just give them transport money and go that they do not have, and i shouldn't bother about droppin them. Now that was an insult to me, like they won, its not like she wanted to know my place or even a hug, which i may have declined. I said ok, and ordered for another round of what they all consumed, makin the total bill about 150k, and asked them to wait let me go get the money in my car.

They were all happy thinkin their fooli5h mission is completed. I went outside to where my car was parked, which was outside the hotel gate, opened the door, wanted to bring out 200k from my bag, but somethin keeps flashin on my face (the way they were just chewing chicken bones disgracefully and gettin high on alcohol) and i said to myself, 'i got two options, the first was to pick up the money and pay up the bills, and the second was....
After thinkin for a few minutes, i just started my car, and slowly reversed and drove off, and that was my second option. 5-minutes later, the girl was callin me, but i never picked up. My own was let them pay the 150k bills however they want to. And i think uptill now as i am typing, i am sure they have all taken up the job of the cleaner or washer in the hotel for the next one year to pay up the whole bills.

So guys and chicks, am i a bad guy? Cos i am not feelin any guilt even uptil now

(pls dont mind some of my errors as i am using a phone. Tnx)

OP, You claimed to have a fiancee and you are chasing a nonentity up and down facebook.

You even invited the girl over, what for?

As for the girls, if they work for the 200k, they would appreciate the value of money better. I wonder how a girl can decide to hook up with a guy she never met and how a guy can invite a girl he has never met. You both are birds of the same feather.

If you send the money to her, I would really doubt you worked for it.

chichi254: well...(shy), simply put, someone whose nature/personality compliments mine. Because som1 may meet up wit most of d criteria yet deep inside u, u knw two of u are like far apart.
Anyways, I wish him 2 b,
*naturaly inteligent n God-fearin,
*complexion....dark
*[color=#99taller than myself or same height wit me since i'm tall(winks)
*morally very sound
*hardworkin n goal oriented (then 2gether, we r gonna build WEALTH)
*agewise older than me(should be on his thirtees)
*physically flexible(not pot bellied orobo)
*very self confident
*same faith wit me(same church)
*same state
*hmmmm he has 2 be very carin, sensitive n romantic oooo(shyly covers my face)
*etceteraaa

Character qualities are non-negotiable and you shouldn't compromise them no matter what. However, physical qualities are just that: Physical. No matter how handsome a man is, if he beats you, you wouldn't see his 'handsomeness' anymore. True beauty radiates from the inside to the outside. An 'ugly' husband would be transformed to an Adonis when he loves you and you do too. A change of dressing, comestics, hair cut and perfume is transforming. Certain clothes can make a man look taller, exercise and good kpeusing can make his stomach reduce, your love can make him more self confident and charcoal can make him darker. When he nack you wella in bed, you will forget the state he is from.

I am saying all these so you will know that you can make your husband look like your 'dream man' if you put enough effort but if he possesses all these and is no husband material, pain would make him become very ugly to you.

tintingz: not in this thread

Then don't start quoting. The Quran is big enough to prove your points.

Thanks.

biolabee: This are very pertinent questions you brought up

OP can you help with this

There are some widowers who would not mind having a blended family which has its own issues though
Issues like this have always mostly been tied to most financial considerations

Which widower with kids of his will want an added responsibility of FIVE more kids

damm

A lot of young widowers wouldn't mind another wife but the wife especially a widow with a lot of kids MUST be financially responsible. She is just 39yrs and the issue of old age doesn't suffice. Her 1st child is 19yrs and can also pull a little weight although I firmly believe that parents are to take care of their kids.

Before now, how has the woman been coping? Except if the OP is a 'big boy', I don't think it's easy for him to be solely responsible for both families.

Besides, in remarriage she should be seeking companionship and not looking for an escape route for her financial obligations.

lupey: Well,its a very good thing so many of us here have had good upbringings and I'm really impressed at so many families. However,as I read thru this thread,I couldn't help but wonder why many people who can't boast of such childhoods,can't contribute. Maybe it didn't turn out well,or they just are shy but I am the elenuu gbooro(as in,big mouth) that can talk,so I would.
My family started like every other average,struggling Nigerian family. We moved from one rented apartment in a sub-urban area in Lagos to another rented apartment in a top-ranking estate at the outskirts of Lagos as things got better for us. Over time,my dad got enough to build us a house in that same estate and my mum stood by him all the way. She showed my dad the way in almost everything. She has always been a very strong woman. We were brought up like normal children(Nigerian), although I won't deny that we were spanked over the silliest mistakes we made. People looked at my family and felt we were a perfect one. Well,we were. We built a twin duplex under a year and under the able supervision of my mum. I recall that she would leave us in the car and sit on bricks,under the sun supervising work that was done. The house was completed and we moved in2 a wing when I was about 10years old. Then,calamity struck! My dad was having an extra-marital affair. The lady in question was obviously hungry. She was just looking for a place to lay her head. There were spiritual battles involved though,and the lady in question just wanted my mum out at all costs. Her wish came 2 pass when my mum got all our belongings together and moved out of the house. The last straw that broke the camel's back that prompted her decision was when the lady sent hired assassins to my mum and they(the assassins) advised my mum 2 pack out of my dad's house. Apparently,they knew my mum 2 be a good woman and didn't want 2 hurt her. They told my mum that my dad knew every of her gimmicks and didn't mind her eliminating my mum. He had made his intentions known to my mum through his behaviour at home and she didn't doubt. That ended our childhood. I was just 11years old. My eldest sister had just turned 15. My dad didn't call to know if we were fine,neither was he responsible for our fees. The lady moved into his house and they had two girls. In 10years,my dad didn't call us to ask after our wellbeing. We lived in Ibadan,which is about 2 1/2 hrs from Lagos and in 10years,I had 2 live with the fact dt my dad lived just 2 1/2 hrs from me but I couldn't connect with him cos the message was loud and clear that he didn't want 2 have anything 2 do with us. There was no father figure whatsoever throughout and my mum was both the father and mother. She never had a boyfriend and never encouraged our pestering her to remarry. She single-handedly sponsored all four of us through school. When things went a bit awry,she sold her gold. Two of my siblings went to private universities and I'm concluding my law program in a bit. My younger sister is studying to become a dentist,all these without my father's help. Ofcourse,there were times we felt terrible. Times we all sat together and cried,wishing things were different because there was nothing to eat,or no money for excesses but we found solace in one another and moved on. Bottom line is this- NOT ALL CHILDREN FROM BROKEN HOMES TURN OUT WRONG. Ofcourse not all women turn out like my mum. Not all are that strong. But I believe that much more than teaching ur daughters 2 believe in themselves and love themselves,not allowing any1 look down on them(I wasn't opportuned 2 learn that at the home-front),they also should learn 2 be independent and secure in themselves. No1 knows what tomorrow could bring and so,we should be willing to teach these little ones strength in the face of danger,and courage when everything falls apart. And,even tho I know I've over-typed,I believe I've succinctly expressed the minds of very many children like me from broken homes who can't type their experiences. I'm proud of mine anyday,anytime and I can share it to the whole world cos I'm beautiful,bold and raised by a single parent!!!

Lupey, this is so so beautiful. I admire women who are so strong and can carry on like nothing happened.

Learn to forgive your dad. It's not easy but it would give you peace of mind.

maclatunji: That means you will be in a state of perpetual arousal. Islam's solution is to lower your gaze. By the way, stop exagerrating. It is not every man's nose that will 'turn you on'. The bus conductor or the motor park tout's noses turn you on?

Sister please!

But every woman's hair can turn you on?

Why don't you apply Islam's solution and lower your gaze?

biolabee: You should have said this since so that there would be no opportunity for derailment
This is strictly a personal issue
Religious, tribal or ethnic inclinations will tend to colour people's post but it should be focus onthe issue rather than whose POV is better

Your point makes sense
However it will be difficult for a woman with 5 kids to remarry anyone as ther will be a lot of obligations except if they are really affluent
How do you see a practical solution to this case

At 39 with 5 kids, she should be looking for a widower like herself.

As for obligations, what is she currently doing to earn a living or is she relying solely on the OP? Does she except a man to bear the burden of all her kids and his?

biolabee: Basically the question is how can Jesus meet her needs which in this are purely emotional and physical.

AS is islamic for prophet

In an earlier post, I said she should remarry as Jesus can only meet her spiritual and some emotional needs.

There is no concord between Jesus Christ and Islam

maclatunji: LOL. I thought you Christians claim 'God created man in his own image'. Now, it is 'Jesus came to earth in human form'.

This is the kind of confusion you get when you have been lied to all through your life. Bukatyne, come and receive the truth. It starts from dropping this extant and invalid lines you have been brought-up with and reflecting on issues insightfully.

As I said in the other thread,

Don't quote me on religious issues you have no idea about.

maclatunji: #LOL

We should talk about it elsewhere. Let me breakdown that dogma you have been programmed with. I will check for your position, I have not read it yet.

Get rid of the dogma you have been programmed with and don't quote me on religious issues if you have no idea of what I'm talking about.

maclatunji: Bukatyne, you are so infantile. The 'God of this, the God of that.' Such illogicalities just to be able to hold on to your Christian dogma. If I say Bukatyne is the Queen of Nigeria, the Prettiest girl in the world and the richest woman ever. Does my saying these things make them true or make you different from being your wonderful self? Your attempt to 'balkanise' God is childish.

Maclatunji, I believe you don't want posts offensive to islam but you can write posts offensive to christians.

I really don't understand the issues you have with whatever names I decide to call my God and not yours.

And No, It's God Himeslf that gave himself those names.

Learn respect for the God of Christians and stop running your hands about things you have no idea of

maclatunji: No amount of praise singing will make a mortal, divine. Topic for another place. So, what do you say about this topic. Should OP embrace this widow and put succour in her heart by marrying her at the risk of upsetting his wife?

Mac, Tread Carefully with extreme care.

@ Topic: I believe my position has been stated.

tohirah: so who is the father you claim jesus has?

I Claim?

The father of Jesus is God, Our Heavenly Father, The Holy One of Isreal, The Husband of Isreal etc.

Is Allah the God of Isreal? Is Isreal His prized possession?

Sweetheart, the God of Islam is different from the God of Christianity.

maclatunji: Strawman arguments will get you nowhere with me. There is only one God, the fact you attribute things that are not true to him does not negate his existence. It is your misconception about his attributes that we need to address not whether I am 'deluded or not'. My points have you diving into fallacies on a grand scale.

Whose existance am I negating?

Misconception of your God or my God? You must really be feeling like someone so knowledgable about 'GOD', only I wonder which.

Na by force? The God of the Muslims is 100% DIFFERENT from the God of the Christians.

maclatunji: Strawman arguments will get you nowhere with me. There is only one God, the fact you attribute things that are not true to him does not negate his existence. It is your misconception about his attributes that we need to address not whether I am 'deluded or not'. My points have you diving into fallacies on a grand scale.

Whose existance am I negating?

Na by force? The God of the Muslims is 100% DIFFERENT from the God of the Christians.

bakareomobanke: If u don't marry her now another man will come to her .that one can even disorganised ur family o! So,is ur reward o!I am not saying u should marry her if u don't have the wisdom o! Cos is not easy o!

If a married man does not marry his brother's widow, the family can be disorganized?

maclatunji: LOL, Jesus (AS) has you guys ascribing things to him on a daily basis.

Jesus Christ who is the King of Kings, Lord of lords, Bright Morning Star, Root and Offspring of David, Lion of the tribe of Judah, The Lamb that was slain, The Prince of Peace, The Chief Corner Stone, The Word and Truth, The Rescurrection and Life, The Bread of life etc I know.

Who is Jesus (AS)?

obi123: on no account should you marry her? you have your own family

1) women hardly get along and now you want to bring someone else into your home to ruin the dynamics that you have managed to build in your home?
2)are you thinking about your wife at all ?
3) i'm thinking that you like the woman in question and you want to justify it somehow by claiming that its out of pity that you want to help her this and that(i could be wrong but i'm suspecting that you have already started sleeping with her)
4)you can continue to assist her without marrying her
5) if your brother's widow was in your position, do you think that she will allow your brother marry your wife just to help out?

This one is common sense i beg, lets not bury ourselves while we are still living please

Nna, Daalu. Common sense is not common. If people say marry the woman because you fancy her and want to sleep with her, I would understand but to say 'marry her to help her' is odikwa every every serious!

tintingz: she is almost going nak;ed

Watching adverts of women flaunting their hair attract men to sexual urge

That is tintingz's opinion.

By the way, men's nose turns me on too so what do you propose?

tintingz: but the bible talked about covering your head and dress modesty that made Mary to wear hijab

Please quote the Bible passage and let's discuss

evera: Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅ are a Go̶̲̅o̶̲̅d man wit a Go̶̲̅o̶̲̅d heart a lot of men would have jump at the opportunity,I will employ you to continue taking care of her ΑϞϑ her children ΑϞϑ let her remain in her husband house.

Have a heart to heart talk wit her, mak her understand why U̶̲̥̅̊ can nt marry her if possible invite a trusted pastor to cancell her.

She should marry her children ΑϞϑ concentrate on der well being ΑϞϑ education ΑϞϑ move closer to God.

Jesus being D̶̲̥̅̊ husband of widow will comfort her

May the almight God give U̶̲̥̅̊ the wisdom to handle the situation.

It's well wit u and ur family. Stay bless

How can she marry her kids?

The Bible is not against widows remarrying. Infact, widows below 60yrs are advised to remarry if they want to.

Jesus will comfort her but she needs physical comfort

tintingz: according to the catholic Mary is the mother of God or is'nt
Jesus your God anymore?

The bible didnt say anything about men dressing but instruct women to be modesty like wearing hijab the way virgin Mary did

Jesus came to earth in human form.

The Bible never talked about hijab. It didn't explictly mention some things like smoking etc but we know the right thing

tintingz: if truly you follow the laws in the bible women are to cover their head or shave their hair off

And what if he(Mohammed s.a) was an igbo?

The Quran instruct women to be modesty in dressing and not to dress nak;ed

Really?

You mean the moment a woman doesn't put on an hijab, she's nak;ed?

Sweetapple007: The woman has almost reach her monopause. Let her concentrate on her kids ad see them as 'husband' children could be careing. So why border about wanting a man, she just want to ruin ur home.

A 39yr old woman is reaching her menopause? Don't married women of 60yrs still make love with their husbands?

Would you advice a 39yr old to forget about sex and concentrate on his kids?

Which home is she ruining?

mbhs139: i think we should ask this man his tribe before advising him or what to do or what not to do.

if he is a yoruba man of the south-west extract, there is nothing bad, societally, about him remarrying his late brother's wife. infact, that is the norm, and it is not by compulsion. the woman is given a choice to choose between still staying in the family to remarry someone from the family, preferably a younger person to the deceased, or she 'get married' to her children or she goes out and marry someone else.

in the event that she marries someone else, she cease to have any right to the husband's property or estate.

but come to think of it. wouldn't it have been better for this man to remarry this women than for another man to be snicking into the woman's apartment at odd hours? remember he said she's 30something years old, and a woman of that age, as a matter of fact, still needs a man.

i'm somehow in that dilemma too. the only difference between me and him is that i can't get married to the woman in my own case because i have elder ones who will first be given the first right of refusal. but i'm taking care of her within my resources even though i'm still single. i just wonder how she's been coping for the past two years

Why? What if she and her husband built the empire from scratch?

Now I see why some wives like to sneak and acquire wealth behind the backs of their husbands to secure themselves.

COOLDUN: From your comment you seem to be a kind man, and God fearing too, it is not bad to take care of your late brother's wife, but thinking of having an affair with her or remarrying her is never good and advisable.

I don't know what a woman with 5 children and a grown up man, as son is looking for in marriage again. My advice to you is to try to raise some fund for her to start any business which she can handle, so that she will not be more dependent on you as you have your own family too.

She can have a male friend which all of you her family members should know about, but remarrying is not the best option. She has sacrificed a lot for the family. If she really love her dead husband , she should honor him by staying behind and take care of their children. Your family members should encourage and support her to stay. Marriage is never the solution as she do not know what she will meet at her new matrimonial home.

My father's junior brother died and left a very pretty young and educated woman, what my father did after she finished mourning her late husband was to call her and asked her what she wanted to do then, my father began his words by first letting her to know that God had made her a member of our family, never mind that death had put asunder in her marriage. My father made her to know that all of us love her and are very ready to have her as our sister in law.My father told her that anything she decided then would be accepted by all the family members. Then she had a son and 2 daughters.

When my father finished talking to her, she fell down and held my father's feet and swore that she will never leave our family to any where, till death take her away. We all busted into tears and hugged her, and reassured her of our everlasting love for her.

Today she is still with us, her daughters are all married, his son is married with 3 kids now, my father sold some of our lands and raised some money for her to start business. She is doing greatly. She has a male friend which all the family members know and respect so much. If your family love that woman, then don't let her leave.She need you all now.

Male friend as in se.x partner? is that not a sin? Can't she still be part of your family married to someone else? Do your sisters stop being part of your family because she's married to someone else?

If your brother's wife dies young, would you tell your brother to stay unmarried and have a female friend?

maclatunji: You are right. However, there has to be a lot of caution. I would prefer if the widow waived most of the rights a typical second wife would demand be met and be satisfied with the man's care and a reasonable amount of affection that can keep her focused on her 5 children who are her primary constituency. She keeps the house with her kids and has the man's ear when she needs it. So far, I think she has been decent, let us hope things work out well.

The man should never sleep with her if he has not married her. That would be a betrayal of his own family, neices and nephews and his late brother.

If he marries her, he can go ahead. His own wife will be very upset if she is clingy but if she is a wise woman won't object overly and only demand that her position and that of her kids be respected.

You sometimes amaze me.