₦airaland Forum

all4naija: The truth is that these are the same people who wouldn't allow others freedom to many things in their land yet are willing to practice theirs in another man's land. In many Arab countries you are not even allowed to hold your wife by the hand or waist and walk together on the street.

Please, spare me this excuse with lopsidedness.

I am looking forward to the day congress will talk about the ban of Hijabs in the US.

Tell me you are not serious

tintingz: only if the blessed virgin Mary(mother of your god) didnt wear hijab

hi, Mary is not the mother of our God.
I wonder who took the photograph. I guess christian men should wear skirts and gowns since jewish men dressed that way.

maclatunji: LOL. You mean God that created you is different from God that created me? I know this is your way of trying to manage your confusion but there is a better way. Search for true knowledge about God and his attributes instead of coming up with constructs that are quite frankly ridiculous.

Open your mind madam, seek the light.

You seriously believe the God christians serve is the same with the God muslims serve?

You must be deluded.

chichi254: Hi preties. I woke up 2day feelin so depressed n lonely. Wishin 2 have dat special som1 beside me. I keep wonderin y life seems so mysterious n partial 2 me. This has been my feelin lately. I keep wonderin y its only peopl i dislike that show serious interest. Sometimes, i consider settlin 4 one of them hopin that likeness/love may develop wit time. but i'm very scared. Wat if it doesn't? So lonely (sobbing)

Hello Chichi,

Marriage is not a magic 'state' that completes. It's what you bring into marriage that you get. If you are lonely before marriage, you will be after marriage and even infest your husband with loneliness. It is possible to be lonely in the midst of people.

Likeness/love rarely develop after marriage. YOu must work on it growing before marriage. Marriage is best enjoyed when you marry the person you do because you love him and can't wait to fulfill your visions and goals together than marrying because you are lonely.

Have you discovered what God created you to do? Are you currently working towards fulfilling it? Try to and you will find out that marriage is only a plus to a fulfilled life.

maclatunji: An escapist submission. God is only one- if we all went doing 'my God is different from yours" then why bother accepting that God is supreme? You contradict yourself with such a redundant submission. #LOL

Mac, my God is different from yours.

Thanks.

maclatunji: I understood you perfectly. You drove yourself into a cul-de-sac. Now, you are claiming 'advanced philisopher', what will we have from you next- 'the immaculate being'?



God's spirit? Hahahahaha. You can 'express your body in whatever dressing style'. Bikini is a dressing style. It is your spirit that matters abi?

I would like a one-on-one debate with you. You need to be enlightened and see that your conceptual framework when it comes to God is faulty.

You got this from my post?

Mac, We don't serve the same God so you have no idea what the right 'conceptual framework' of my God is.

maclatunji: On the contrary, your post is offensive to Christianity. Your nebulous concept of 'spirit man' implies you can wear a bikini or nothing at all to church.

Inasmuch as not everyone will become a Muslim, we still need Christians to maintain a basic standard with their religion. Your postulations are below par even for Christianity.

Mr., it is good to understand a post before commenting and if you don't, don't quote.

I wonder where you deduced that my concept of the spirit man (you don't understand) is nebulous or what part of my post implies a christian can wear bikini to church.

BetaThings: One thing Christians don't understand is that Muslims are human beings too and though you might think our IQ is very low, but the little brain Allah has given us makes us KNOW that you are waging war/discriminating against Muslims

We wanted to use our own fund to set up Islamic Bank. We just wanted approval from CBN to do so. Christians were all over the news - they want to islamise this country, it will cause more disruption, people would be asking for Amadioha/Osun Bank etc
We said yes, allow us. Let the others ask. We have no issues with Okija bank

Now our government used government money to erect a National Christmas Tree. All the arguments against Islamic bank disappeared. Nobody feared that people would ask for Osun Birthday Tree. Or that it will not deepen cleavage in the society

This issue with the hijab tells me nothing other than Christians just hate Islam. I am yet to see what Christians want that Muslims object to



Look at those in red colour. Are they similar? Muslims HAD to attend sunday service. Christians left Muslims alone to attend THEIR Friday prayers. Where is the equality. I hope you realise that forcing a muslim to say anybody other than Allah is God is a great sin. Everytime he says it, he has to repent immediately. So what is the use?

There are muslims who would go near na.ked if allowed. But that is not the issue.
We would not use the fact that some Christians are ready to go to work on Sunday morning as evidence against those who want to go to church
We just want those muslims who believe (and I do so) that hijab is compulsory to be allowed to wear it without incident

@ bolded, I meant Muslims had to go to the mosque on sundays while christians go to church. Sunday was the day for service and nobody must be in the dorm during service hours.

As for the Islamic bank issue, do we have Christianic bank or Ifaic bank? Really, it's muslims that want to segregate themselves. It would be discrimination if there was Osun bank, muslims wanted Islamic bank and people said no.

maclatunji: Bukatyne #Sweetheart you are yarning rubbish.

The fact your spirit man can't grasp some concepts does not mean it is rubbish.

This post is offensive to Christianity.

BetaThings: Nuns take vows after years of being tested. They are typically not school-age people. And some are cloistered by the way
If a nun wants to attend a Muslim school, she is welcome. But as a Muslim school, we would teach the Qur'an and ahadeeth because we don't have the knowledge to teach the Bible

As for public schools, the Hijab and other religious problems arise when Christians head such schools. It is CRK only. I experienced it.

One thing you all don't understand is that nobody is waging war or discriminating against muslims. I am very sure these schools don't allow any other religious article/clothing

I went to a Fed. Gov College (public) and we did CRK and IRK, had christian and muslim prayers on the assembly ground every mondays, It was compulsory for muslims and christians to attend services on sundays, special early morning and night meal was cooked for muslims during the fast, they had their prayers on fridays and saturdays and any time they are free etc.

However, NO STUDENT wore hijab, rosary, ifa bead, we couldn't use some colours of wrappers like black in the hostel. I am 100% sure no muslimah would complain about been discriminated about.

BetaThings: Please have you ever been to a secondary school run by Catholics before?
I have. My sister attended one. The nuns dress in their usual manner-peacefully, gracefully-without let

Now tell me your views about a government-funded National Christmas Tree in a "secular society" where people say that we should keep religion out of public/national space

@boldes: Are the public schools run by muslims? Have you seen students dressed as nuns?

BetaThings: Secularism implies that the government is neutral. It will not promote any religion while it will not suppress any other.
Now when in Dec 2012 the Federal government of this "secular society" spent federal government money to put a NATIONAL CHRISTIMAS TREE, I never saw any mention of secularism

Hijab is compulsory on the wearer
A National Christmas Tree is not compulsory on the Federal Republic of Nigeria





Catholic nuns go around on Nigerian streets without this issue you raise. Going to school does not change the fact that public n-udity is an abberation. Please leave it out. Most societies everywhere encourage people to dress up to varying degrees of conservatism. Would you really liken the communities in Brazil who still go around virtually in the n-ude to Catholic nuns?



We also know that some members of the armed forces don't ear uniform
Some even keep their beard in uniform!
We tend to come up with "creative" arguments when we want to suppress the rights of some people
Incidentally did you see the way some people are now saying Federal Character is violated in the allocation of oil blocks. These are people who have been saying federal character is retrogressive
The hallmark of willingness to live with others in peace is consistency of argument



Christians who are real democrats would argue that we should also stay at home on Fridays the same way true Christians stay at home on Sundays

@bolded: Nobody stops muslimahs from wearing hijabs on the streets and I am sure you will never see a christian dressed like a catholic nun in a secondary school.

Please compare apples and apples.

simayanki4real: Hello gents & dolls...

I have been a realist all my life, always trying to justify the true reason for the existence of certain things, yet still believing humans have the tendency to give in atimes. With that in mind, let me tell this story perhaps to enlighten some in the group:

I met a beautiful lady on a chat site & while she seemed reasonable we agreed to meet. I 'tucked in my shirt' and set out through the hot sun to meet her at the meeting place. She had a beautiful picture on the site so i rehearsed in the taxi all i would say, & perhaps do.

On getting there, i met a lady though elegant and mature, slightly different from the picture i was expecting but nonetheless i approached. I was welcomed & we began talking intimately as though we had known before...

It was then i discovered that she was a divorcee with two very beautiful daughters. From her story, i gathered that she met the guy, fell in love with him even though he wasn't in love with her. Somehow she got pregnant with the first daughter and conditions in her family made the guy carry out a traditional marriage.

While she was on the thought that the arrival of the baby would bring love and affection into the home (which i have always thought is the case) turned out to be outrightly differnt. Though they were married it seemed there were good neighbours tuggling from on mountain to another. About two years giving birth to the daughter she heard from a reliable source that the husband's ex had given birth to a baby for the husband. Ofcourse his attitude during the period anticipated a change somewhere.

She had the next pregnancy perhaps in a 'make-up sex' and one month later, he got up & said he was going to South Africa to get a job. Being a good wife, she said ok and he left. Today makes it 2years and 3months since the husband left and since then she has heard not a word from him or a mail.

The husband through his best friend passed a message to her to go on living her life without him because he is happily married and is not coming back to her. That when he is ready, he will come for his kids. When she told me, i lost all energy and my mind kept trying to find a reason, perhaps where or when something went wrong.

I may have gone there in the hopes of finding a girl for myself, but i went there and found a mirror with which to see myself & a measuring scale with which to weigh myself... Hence i depicted the following:

1) Ladies, Please do not love a man with all of our heart (in the sane assumption that he cannot love you with all of his)

2) Once in a while, check his phones, texts messages, mails perhaps just as an insurance policy. (I may not like it but i sure as hell would condone such a behaviour from guys)

3) Spice your relationship every once in a while by giving your man a treat (if you have one) either in a date, romance or whatever he loves.

4) Be prayerful in your relationship as most men want dedicated christians as wives.

5) As i do not consider women to be anything lesser, so apply wisdom in your relationships, be truly friendly to your companion's friends and family. And when you do not feel welcomed, muster the courage and tell him, if change does not come...LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP!

6) Finally, for the influential, mature, educated, & financially stable women (i adore your kind) and while most men (like me) may feel uncomfortable walking up & actually undergoing a special woo-ing process for you; try and put up a smile, be accomodating, be friendly, be social and you JUST MIGHT find a guy who gets you (irrespective of his age).



Hope this helps!

Morning,

I don't know how many times It's will be said that NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, not a dozen kids, not your tears, not your sacrifices, not your very life can make a man who doesn't love you love you. I wonder where women got the idea that 'get pregnant for him and he would love you bla bla'.

Check out the homes where the wife is maltreated, she probably forced, coerced or threatened a man who doesn't love her to marry her.

deols: that christians change their religion to suit happenings around them doesnt mean muslims shld do d same.

muslims are forever distinct. we will have our ways eventually-fact!

We don't have a 'religion', we have a way of life hence a yoruba christian looks like a yoruba, eat yoruba foods etc in a godly way. The way a 1st century christian would relate with you is probably different from I am but the principles remain the same because Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.

We understand that what we wear (once it's decent) doesn't affect our relationship with God and see no reason to disobey the stated rules to 'look' like a christian. I feel comfortable in a gown, Iro and buba, skirt and blouse, kaftan etc because I know it's just a covering for a container that carries the real me (My spirit man). It's my spirit that communicates with God's spirit so I can express my body in what ever dressing style I want.

ifihearam: Because the baby is his,the heavy bags are understandable but her hand bag!!!haba. Na sign of woman wrapper.

Like seriously?

It's thinking like this that makes some women reluctant to sacrifice in their marriages.

deols: why would she be beaten. how does the lenght of her hijab affect her studies?

I wonder why people think they should have control over other people's lives.


how are you, btw

Nobody is controlling anybody's life dear.

Some christians believe that a woman cutting her hair is shameful yet we have a lot of schools where ladies cut their hair and christians attend.

Some denominations like Deeper life, Redeemed, MFM etc preach against trousers from the Bible yet their members wear trousers during NYSC.

The moment a student decides to attend a school where any form of religious identification (Hijab, Rosary, Ifa cap/stick, Beads etc) are not allowed, he/she have subjected him/herself under the rules and regulations of that school and must abide by it.

I am sure that disobedience of authorities (School, Governmental etc) is a sin in Islam.

I am good and you?

My post will not be offensive.

If all religions were to demand for their religious 'rights', our schools will be so colourful.

To the muslims, which type of hijab are we talking about?

I saw a girl in the bus this morning and until she stood up and stretched to put her bag in the baggage space, I didn't know she was a student. I am sure if she's beaten or sent back home, she will carry placard and start protesting.

Pregnancy suits her. She is glowing.

Today it's love tomorrow they will fill Nland and Facebook with stories that touch abi? Please write RIP for abc, she was a saint, loved by all, hardworking, an orange seller killed by her husband.' Write RIP so you and your loved ones would not experience sudden death this year bla bla' as if we all joined hands to kill her.

The husband should be on point next time.

taio luv: @bukatyne thank you for your words we shall all be blessed IJN

You are welcome!

davidylan: lol thanks. Your baby is blessed!

I understand your point and i have often found myself asking the same question. I think part of it has to do with our culture... most of our men grew up in homes where daddy's word is law and thus do not understand why they should be any different. Many of us have no understanding of what "love" truly is... even here you see husbands of tomorrow mocking men who cook, clean and help their wives... calling them mugus. Last but not the least... do not be fooled, many so-called church elders are truly not regenerated in their hearts. I stand firm by this belief - any man who maltreats his wife truly does not have the love of Christ in his heart regardless of how many bible verses he has memorized.

Thanks, I am blessed to have him too.

I believe that Christian men (and women) need reorientation about living Christlike lives as even women contribute to this problem. A lot of us (christians) are still traditional in our beliefs and instead of letting Christ renew our minds, we just add christianity to our former life hence the ability to wear and drop christianity at will.

May God help us, It's not easy.

taio luv: @carmelion,temi4fash,ichidodo,maya2pretty

@Dailynews, simplyyeahmee, biolabee.

Ur words make me happy,
Tank u for ur prayers and wishes,God will surely enlarge our coast IJN

Hi Taio, I want my words to make you happy too

Happy B'irthday, Long life and propserity.
God will grant the desires of your heart
IN Jesus's Name
Amen!

Enjoy!

DailyNews: bukatyneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....sounds like butane ...valid points from you... ...I had to agree to all your words, so true...hmmmm...this life eh....wahala dey o

Butane ko, Hexane ni .
Are were you a chemistry student?

maryini: @OP, You have spoken the REAL truth.

1000000 likes.

Thanks. I would like to see a change.

freshera: Dear why bother yourself about some people? LET US SEE WHO WINS AT THE END. May we all win together.

Some men want women to submit to them but they do not submit to God. They are going to hell. God is no respecter of anyone.

How can anyone believe God is unfair to women and still serve Him? How?

It is better to focus on your own journey, decide that God is more than marriage or children or money and try and make it to heaven. Even Pastor Adeboye said he says "God ples rem me on the day you come". Is it an unsubmissive christian man that will make it?

This is a God that was not created, that has no birthday yet designed the flowers, fishes, birds, invented animals and man. he made this terrestial ball we are on, as hot as the sun is he made it.

He is a designer, a physician, a psychologist, a physicist, a comedian, a lover, a ruler, an advocate, an engineer, a friend, a father and a mother, He is more beautiful than pleasure, more lovely than life. Who created Him . . . HALLELUYAH!!!

He invented time and space, vacumm and matter, love and sex, laughter and even satan was his product. What are we talking about?

IF YOU KNOW A MAN IS NOT DOING GOD'S WILL, DON'T MARRY HIM. Life is for maximum 130 years. A day in eternity is like a small bird sipping form the pacific ocean every 1000 years, the day the bird finishes drinking the ocean is NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT up to ONE DAY IN ETERNITY.Stick with the truth. The woman is not the man's neighbour, she is his body. he is meant to love her as himself.

God will ask every husband why the wife under them did not fulfill her destiny FULLY, use her talents to HIS GLORY, make money for the gospel. God gave every Christian woman special talents (the kind that Adam and Eve had), brains, destiny, souls to preach to, people to help and deliver etc. Their blood is on her head. No way is she making heaven without finishing her assignment.

Souls are waiting for the money to be made and for it to reach them. God will ask why those souls were not reached because one Naija man somewhere refused to allow his wife stamp her signature (I was ere) on planet earth all because of demonic ego that was maybe nurtured by another woman (his mother) who did it to compensate for her husband's failings. na wa !

What is the point of being a mother on earth and you and your kids go to hell?


People are in hell as we 'speak'. So please leave the trad bros alone. They are distractions, deal ruthlesly with them. DO CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE NOT AFRICAN MARRIAGE AND BE BLESSED.

I went to a 9hr non-stop praise program recently and this guy Darae Palmer was saying God told him "The pedestal you put you son(he worships his son), that is the point you start for me".

http://dovevision.tv/blog/blog.php

In the link above, Gbile Akanni(popular christian man) was saying how God cursed the woman and said the man will rule over her. IT WAS A CURSE. THE BIBL CALLED IT A A CURSE. They are meant to rule together.

Women sacrifice God's will because of worldy stigma, marriage and children. Let us see what happens at the end. In the time of Noah, only his family was righteous so it is possible to have few good men. Most women know the men are bad yet they manage and manage and then produce sons just like their fathers so the ugly cycle continues.

@ Freshera, how are you?

I really appreciate your input on this topic. the problem is our society and the church teach that a woman's life ends when she marries. Marriage is the zenith of her life. They are also so quick to preach submission but would never preach that a man should love. They quickly forget the case of Ananias and Sapphira and women like Abigail who could think on their own. When it suits them, they are traditionalists.

As greatgod2012 would say, May God help us all.

davidylan: Such men exist... the problem is the women find it difficult to find them because they spend their time fixated on ephemeral qualities like "swag", money and fame.

Hi David, I admire some of your posts [s]maybe because you are my baby's namesake [/s]

@Topic: I know such men exist because I have one by my side. I am not even concerned with non christain men because we know they don't know these things. I am referring to 'Christian' men who still exhibit all these. We find the worst marriages in church that should lead the way.

The men are so fixated on the 'headship' yet they are not ready to love. When it comes to marriage, most of them are still very very traditional. There is an elder who is a good Bible studenta nd still maltreats his wife and there are many like that.

That's why I'm wondering what is going on.

pro01: You're on a VERY long thing. Any Nigerian woman with this your combative, oversabi, and 'do-me-I-do-you' mindset is bound to languish in spinsterhood/single-motherhood, or get divorced sooner than later, or worse still, endure a marriage characterised by strife. Two people cannot be 'claiming right' (as the saying goes in Naija) at the same time and expect peace to reign. Peace can only reign when one party plays the role of pacifier, that's the whole truth.

If your pastor, mother, sisters, cousins, or friends have been deceiving you that you should misunderstand the Bible and claim nonsense "right" in order to 'show' your man how 'wise' you are, then you are on your own. The truly wise women know their roles as the 'neck' that swings the head in any direction it pleases. Such women are to be emulated, or at least envied. I don talk my own finish.

Thanks for 'talking your own'

and like you rightly said... it's 'your own'.

Good day.

DailyNews: Every good lady who desires to marry will definitely find a suitable husband. Yes, you are right when u said that the search for Mr. Right might be an endless one cos most Mr. Right might have given up their search before getting to their Miss Right, so Miss Right should as well reach out to Mr. Right.

And now, what I don't always understand is this usual single ladies' statement- That time would be better invested in your future. Know your worth! You're too precious for child's play. Face your career, face your studies, face your this and that...and sometimes they add- and forget about men cos they don't worth it, really I do wonder when I hear all those.

Dangote is the richest man in Nigeria, he is married, I guess happily married. Adenuga is the second, also happily married. Now to stars, Tuface is the most popular musician in Nigeria of today and he is happily married too, and he is very famous too. All these men were able to mind their businesses, investments, careers, etc and still showed true concern towards women. Why must black women always think that they need to see men as evil to mind their career and to be happy? And if u research well, u will discover that its always after they had wasted their years chasing wind that they start using this derogatory phrase, why?

Can't a lady be successful financially, career-wise and still be humble enough to respect men and not cross the line? Is it so difficult to do? It seems we need UAE, Dubai's approach in Nigeria whereby women will be sent back to stay at home and watch films and do house chores while we fetch the money and give them so they can come back to their original creation- humble, submissive and responsible lovely creatures. These western exposure, chasing money and career of a thing seem to be doing our women more harm than good from all indications

Dailynews, I wouldn't agree the bolded with you except if 'happily married' has a new meaning. I remember a rumour that Dangote's wife wanted to divorce him because he didn't have enough time for her amongst others. Adenuga probably has numerous girlfriends while Tu Baba has six children from 3 women. He has been cheating on Annie for years and you call them happily married? Annie knows she only has the surname while she still shares the body, mind and soul of her 'beloved husband' with various women.

A woman submits to a man's love. Do the men love the women genuiuely? If the men in their lives love them, they will naturally want that man to be happy and do everything to make him happy. No husband deserves submission by default; he earns it by loving his wife unconditionally. Any man complaining of submission should check himself first. Jesus Christ is our Lord because he died on the cross and not because he feels like it. God also has proved that he is worthy of worship. The concept of submission in marriage comes from the relationship between Christ and the church. Yes, a lot of women have it all and still have happy homes. Granted that some women are proud because they have arrived but we also have men like that too.

Are you claiming that UAE women are all 'happily married?'

And finally, women should invest in their future. They should not waste their God given potentials because they want to be a 'mrs'. No man can make you happy or fulfilled; Joy comes from within and fulfillment from knowing that you have done waht you are created to do.

sino: well, it would have been a different case if wearing the white beads everyday is compulsory on ifa worshippers, we even have the case of Catholics with their white rosearies, and Muslims do not complain.

Why is it so difficult for you guys to understand that it is absolutely lawful for a female muslimah to put on her hijab to public schools in lagos state!

You don't get that it is NOT christians against hijab else when rosaries are seized from students, it's muslims against them.

Just follow simple rules.

maasoap: You still don't understand. Muslim girls and hijab are inseparable. If Ifa white beads and practitioner are also inseparable, let it be.

You are serious you would feel comfortable with an Ifa student wearing his beads in your child's class? If the school rules doesn't allow it, then they should go to schools where it is allowed.

maasoap: Stopping being ignorant: rosaries and bible can be compare to Quran and tesbihu but not hijab. Hijab is compulsory for all Muslim girls which nothing, I repeat, nothing should take it away from them. How does hijab wearing hurt you people? Just say it. Why hiding under the guise of not being part of school uniform? How does it hurt?

Is this called for?

Hijab doesn't hurt anybody and muslimahs are free to use it as they wish. I am very sure you will complain if an ifa worshipper wears his white beads on his uniform in your child's class.

There are muslim schools and students who don't feel comfortable with the lack of hijab in secondary schools can go there.

pro01: Interesting topic. As usual, the females here avoided the most important issues raised in the frustrated man's email. The two points highlighted below are extremely important, and females that are able to provide honest and sensible answers to them would realise the futility of trying this 'no sex' nonsense with any normal man.

@Pro1: You always sound like you have issues with women.
@ question 1: A woman can give her life to Christ and decide to abstain from sex till marriage. I would agree that a man demanding for sex doesn't mean he doesn't love her because I hear that bull a lot however, sex b/4 marriage is a sin that's why we should abstain.
Yes, the guy has been sexually active for 12yrs so it's not easy to abstain especially when he loves the woman so it's advisable they don't date for long or try to avoid lonely places or been too close b'cos even if they are in a crowded place and play funny, they can still reserve the desire till they get to a lonely place and continue what they started . The guy in this story is seeing sex as his reward for spending and not an expression of his love. The woman should also learn to be independent; the guy ain't her Money Making Machine M³.

@question 2: Any girl that prefers a man who treats her well to a man who doesn't needs to have her head checked. However, the fact that a man dosen't beat a woman or provide financial needs doesn't mean he treats her well.