₦airaland Forum

chaircover: LOL you have a bigheart now!

Seriously, instead of buying her shiploads of gifts, why dont you empower her. Let her make her own money and lets her spend it anyway she thinks wise. If she likes she can spend all her profit on Brazilian or if she wants she can spend it on re investing.

On a lighter note, I must be the only Naija lady who doesn't have Brazilian . . . Mr CC is really enjoying

CC, hi
I wonder how people cope with adding another human's hair to theirs.
nd
@OP: A man wanting to sleep with a woman doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love her. However, we avoid premartial sex b'cos it's a sin. The problem I have with the man is that he makes sex sound like an exchange for his gifts 'I buy you bb, you sleep with me' kind of stuff and not he loves her and want to express it. As for the lady, she cut her coat according to her size cloth and stop pulling things her hand can't reach. I don't think refusing his gifts would help the man change his feelings towards the lady. The man should sort out if he truly loves the girl and if he does, they could do a small wedding with the money he's using to buy brazillian abi na peruvian hair.

johnnylap: As Catholics..we honor Mary as the Mother of God..we also honor as our heavenly mother and our Queen.As the Commandment Honor thy mother and thy father..we have an earthly mother and an earthly father..but we also have God as our Father and Mary as our Mother in heaven given to us from Christ on the cross when He said son..Behold thy mother.All of you protestants who love to quote the bible do so periliessly.As the Bible was put together by the Catholic Church..it is by the Churches authority that you have the books in it that you misquote.What is protestantism?It is a ball of confusion..thousands of contradictory sects all claiming to know how to interpret the bible..you even removed and changed parts of it to fit your comfort zones of theology..something the bible warns against doing.And becasue of your confusion and division we have abortion,contraception and gay marriage as well as a myriad of other sinful laws and lifestyles.Christ formed but one Church which He said will never fall.Like it or not that church is the Catholic Church..which traces it's roots in an unbroken line through the popes back to Peter.The statue bleeds because of the sins of the world..Mary cries for all of her children.However..even the Church does not recognize these incidents unless a great miracle or supernatural phenomom takes place that can not be explained by science.Remember you protestants who supposedly love Jesus so much but are quick to condemn and hate others as well as judge..how you judge..so shall ye be judged..try reading the bible correctly.Try actually learning what Ctholicism is and it's history and it's theology before attacking out of ignorance.You love Jesus but hate His mother or give her no homage for the great thing she has done for you.If someone walks into your house as your friend and ignores your mother how much longer would that person reamin your friend?Look in the bible and read Marys words..she says Do whatever He tells you..and read her Magnificat..her prayer after recieving the message that she was to be the mother of our Lord.read Elizabeths reaction when Mary comes to her..open your eyes.Our faith is a living faith..it is not dead..if God sent angels to deliver messages to man..He can also send His mother..who always points the way to her Son.

1. Mary is not the mother of GOd (God has no mother)
2. We don't have a heavenly mother else Joseph is our 'heavenly' father. Calling Mary our heavenly mother equates her with God
3. Jesus is our King; how can Mary be our Queen?

amypaul: I am a Catholic but I don't believe this, dat Image is not d real Mary in d bible. I only pray for blessed virgin mary's assistance as She did at d wedding In Cana. Dis image is made by man so anything can act through it.

Pray to Jesus directly, you don't need Mary's assistance.

DailyNews: Lolz, you caught me on that @bukatyne...and to be honest with you, I am so afraid of house chores ...maybe I was spoilt by my mother when it comes to that...I just love the idea of eating good food cooked by someone I cherish (my lovely mother, sister, and possibly in future, my wife).


I just don't love to touch fish ...can't even eat it if its not fried, and I hate the smell....gosh ...can't see myself helping in those stuff.....lolzzz....sorry to sound weird, but I love saying the truth.

I can help blend anything blendable if there is no football match or something to write or a new game to win ....but I am good in other things by God's grace, so that house chore things, I can't. Do you know that if I cook (I am very good in cooking o, very good, but not in all foods shaa) I can't eat that food...and if I try to, I will end up picking and not eat enough, bad habit you may call it...but that's me.

So whoever I must end up with, must impress me in cooking and keeping the house in order by all means (with a paid maid or cleaner, whichever, but no paid cook of chef ).

It's all good. We all have our preferences. What will you be doing when your wife is doing the chores? Why should you have a maid when you both can do the chores together?

Don't you think your wife might also have the habit of picking food she prepares?

DailyNews: Internet platforms like facebook, nairaland would have also helped to solve this problem but some bad eggs amongst the ladies spoilt it. Guys who have lost passion in relationship n marriage wud have been rekindled through social platforms like this but ladies in the past destroyed it.

Some took internet as an avenue to beg for- recharge cards, virtual school fees, gadgets (phone, laptops, etc), and some messed their friendship with guys online while some act so loose, unfriendly, shabby-mannered to mention but a few.

I know so many guys who said they wud have tried finding spouse online but that majority of ladies found online are unworthy. I am sorry for saying that but that's what most reasonable men I once discussed this internet dating of a thing said. In fact, they concluded that internet is just a place to find a sex-mate, and not a place to find true relationship just becos of the actions of some unworthy girls. Ladies start scolding and condemning ur fellow ladies who do this, stop keeping quiet cos its affecting all of u, and how we guys see u ladies in general. Too bad, but that's d reality.

Hi DailyNews, how are you?

I gathered from one of your posts that you are against men helping their wives do domestic chores.

One of the problems is that a lot of men of marriageable age are not fit for marriage. I cringe when a lot of men talk and I will be like 'this man hopes to marry somebody in future'. Perhaps if men are properly trained, the relationship landscape of Nigeria will be better.

nbright: bukatyne.... U insisted on ur guy cooking dishes, should it be always or once in a while (how many days, weeks or months interval?...)

Hi nbright, I'm sure you didn't get that from this thread.

To answer your question: It depends on the situation

If I am doing something else like washing, cleaning etc it's normal he assists like doing another task or cooking

If I am cooking in the kitchen, and he's not busy doing something else, why should he stay alone when he can keep moi company with added incentives?

it's not a rooster thing, it should be fun. When you love someone, you always want to be around him/her even if it means joining in doing chores or whatever. My guy paints in his pasttime and I always join him. I would assist in passing brushes, mixing paint, getting water etc and be with my love. i make beads and he's my 'tester', help me hold some strings etc.

It all depends on how a couple want their relationship/marriage to be.

CAMNEWTON4PRES: your post is full of nonsense
if your 16yo girl comes to you and say am getting married your first reaction will be you are too young for that.

BTW marriage is a status

for every +30 single lady there is a +30single guy? what a big lie Men tend to go for younger ladies, a 30+yo man will most likely go for a 25yo girl and not the other way around so your saying that Xsingle ladies=Ysingle men doesn't make any sense
the truth will be for every +30yo girl there is a +60yo widow

stop thinking married women are unhappy

Patience is a virtue. Reread my post and see if half of your theories correlate with what I posted. And for the fact that you can't see the sense in my post doesn't mean it's nonsense.

Next time, don't quote me without understanding my post.

Thanks

derbypiero: can u marry a 35+yrs old gal

Hello, I am a lady. Are you saying if you see a woman you love, is compatiable with you etc and she's 35, you wouldn't marry her because she's 35?

[quote author=A-town]I believe most men do these things. I think the problem occurs when women expect men to take over cooking. Any man that sits on the couch without helping his wife, day in day out obviously has problems. In this day and age, couples do things together. As a matter of fact, heres a little trick for you girls. If you want your husband to actively participate in cooking and stuff, just make sure anytime you're performing these duties, you have on your tightest victoria secret paraphenelia. Trust me, after some "wrestling" matches in the kitchen, he'll be the one asking you what/when do you want him in the kitchen. Women have the power to make men do whatever they want. Whether you know how to harness this God given talent is up to you.[/quote]That'll only work for an open minded man who loves his wife.

favinvest: My take is what's a woman contribution to a man life apart from sex and doing domestic work.

If a woman can contribute more than d above in a man life then the man will b running after her.

Cos d man see d woman as a liability.
He can pay a call girl for sex and also can employ a house help to do the domestic work.

So ladies think of things to can contribute to a man life and nt jst want u will get. With this a man will b hungry to get married.

And what's a man's contribution to a woman's life apart from money?

segun688: There are so many over generalizations in people's posts. First things first. there are just about the same number of men that haven't settled down ( also over 30). Also, assuming that just because a lady isn't married at 30 is because she must be loose or over picky is ridiculous. I have a very good friend, she is lovely, sweet and humble, however, she isn't what you will call a stunner in the looks department. Due to this, men do not ask her out. she is over 30 now, will you say she is wayward? no. Marriage is also a very important decision that shouldn't be delved into due to "age". A single life is much better than a horrible marriage. As for ladies, please don't settle for abusive relationships...also, choose a partner you can work with, a partner you can grow with. Money will always come especially when there is prayer, love, support and understanding. Also, don't stop developing yourself....i have friends that got married at 35...and they are all very happy.

You deserve a standing ovation. I was about to ask if the men were getting married to themselves and leaving the women behind.

@OP: I don't understand the basis of your question as nigerian men are not gay. I don't think a lady not married at 30 is a problem except if she had opportunities and missed them. Marriage is not a status thing and should be measured according to age or qualification. Ideally, a person should get married when he/she has found that special person that they want to spend the rest of their life with and fulfill the dreams together and not when they reach a benchmarked age for marriage. However, we see that a lot of people marry when they have reached a certain age and don't care if they are compatible physically, spiritually or not.

I will agree that some ladies missed it because they are looking for a rich, tall and handsome husband and would not give the upcoming man face because they have forgotten that Rome was not built in a day. Some had men who loved and doted on them, they called the men sissies and lost a rare man; some had the bad habit of double dating and were caught; some had terrible pasts and it caught up with them; some are selfish and have nothing to offer a man, some have bad attitudes and are unwilling to change etc.

However, there are some that have decided not to marry; some have been jilted; some have lost their fiances; some have not seen the man they are willing to spend their lives with.

For every single 30+ lady, there is probably one married 30+ lady gnashing her teeth but will still come out boldly to castigate the single 30+. Our society should stop pressuring women to marry at a certain age and let them make their choices. If a woman sees a man that they both love each other at 20 and she's through with school or has a means to sustain herself financially, she can marry. If she has not met her choice of man (with a realistic measure) at thirty, she should be patient and make sure she's developing herself so she wouldn't really be the one at fault.

maasoap: I opened this thread after I read that a school teacher gave a 12 yr old 43 lashes for wearing hijab to school because they're taking their hatred to another level! Even if it's a single stroke, it still boiled down to hatred for Islam. Nigerian christians would argue why Muslim girls have to wear hijab in a christian founded sch (public or private) but when u asked them how does wearing hijab to christian founded school affect them or d school? They would simply become dumb. Now on front page? letmecheck.

Please stop acting like muslim students are singled out. In secondary schools, rosaries are ceased, Bibles are ceased during school hours etc.

@naptu2, thanks a lot. I've learnt dis today.

While we agree there is a need, other solutions can be employed to address it. He could have hired more workers so they can work in shifts and operate 24/7. Some families only have 'family' time on Saturdays so extra pay might not necessarily suffice. Working 6 days a week is likely to burn out d workers. I wouldn't be surprised if they start frustrating people who come for their services.

deols: I like being a mummy sha

You sometimes remind moi of a friend of mine Aisha

deols: the many posts after it explain my ppsition. men and women are equals but a man heads his home. lobatan

Yes Mummy

deols: I mean it exactly that way.

Then you believe husbands and wives are equal. But the equality doesn't give either party the room to be rude or proud. They should learn to live with each other as true belivers. Have a splendid day.

deols: But even the bible makes the man the head of a home

The headship of a man in the Bible doesn't make him superior to His wife. A man is the head because he's the source of the family i.e. A man decides to marry and looks for a woman he loves and shares the same goals with.

He is to lead his family in love with examples so a man who wants a humble wife must be humble himself etc. I cor 13: 1 - 13 lists the characteristics of love and if he abides to them, he would esteem his wife above himself that's why she is to submit to him(esteem her husband above herself) so they would complete each other.

deols: I am very passionate about matters relating to women. I have had experiences with women at the very grassroots. I have seen women who are only trophies and I have met and interacted with intelligent and successful women.

I took a comprehensive course on women and see them sick, hurt, etc like on a daily basis. Despite all these, having a big influence on my attitude towards men and women, I am still very much a Muslim, a muslim first and d laws of the QUr'an are never to be changed.

the Qur'an puts men as the head and that isn't to be changed.so equality doesn't come in. the laws of inheritance are such that women get half of what a man gets and those aren't changing either, etc.

The best a WOman would do to help herself is marry a good man, one who is well brought up, reasonable and wise.

No problem. I believe in equality as a christian. All the problem stems from the fact that men thinks women are not equal to them. As you said, once a woman marries a good one, she realtively has no problem.

deols: I don't believe in equality though. Each person is playing a part that leads to a synergy that works. All I expect is respect from the men for the women folk and that respect would include making their opinions count and being sensitive to their feelings. All these the holy book preach.

funnny though how anyone would be courteous to others and not to the closest people to him.

If you read what Obama said concerning his daughter dating, he said something like they have seen how much respect he gives their mother and have high standards about what to expect in a relationship. this is how to train girls to be confident about whom they are and never to be doormats to anyone, male or female, for anything.

Sorry, i'm posting multiple posts. Why don't you believe in equality?

deols: satisfaction.

I still wonder why scholars emphasise how the wife should be satisfied with what the husband can provide without emphasising that he takes her the way she is and allow her carry out her duties to the best of her abilities.


The world will change when men are brought up by women who teach them to respect women. I always use my family as an example. I would be surprised if any of my siblings disrespects women and I could get same from mdsock's posts.

If you have women you are proud of, that you appreciate in your family, you would want to marry someone you can as well respect, that would not be below par with the ones you know and you would more likely treat her with respect.

I have always known that the life people have lived, the people they have known, where they come from etc are deciding factors when choosing their spouses, their relationship with people, outlook on life and their over all life quality.

The Quran will Guide but all of these play roles.

I agree with you. Most men DON'T respect women and it shows in all their dealings with each other. Most men frown at the idea of women being equal with them and I wonder:

Are people just rude to others bacause they are equals?

Don't men relate with their close men friends well?

Don't they compromise in their friendship with their colleagues and others?

Most men will be courteous to their subordinates and female colleagues at work but would be so rude to their wives at home.

deols: satisfaction.

I still wonder why scholars emphasise how the wife should be satisfied with what the husband can provide without emphasising that he takes her the way she is and allow her carry out her duties to the best of her abilities.


The world will change when men are brought up by women who teach them to respect women. I always use my family as an example. I would be surprised if any of my siblings disrespects women and I could get same from mdsock's posts.

If you have women you are proud of, that you appreciate in your family, you would want to marry someone you can as well respect, that would not be below par with the ones you know and you would more likely treat her with respect.

I have always known that the life people have lived, the people they have known, where they come from etc are deciding factors when choosing their spouses, their relationship with people, outlook on life and their over all life quality.

The Quran will Guide but all of these play roles.

I agree with you. Most men DON'T respect women and it shows in all their dealings with each other. Most men frown at the idea of women being equal with them and I wonder:

Are people just rude to others bacause they are equals?

Don't men relate with their close men friends well?

Don't they compromise in their friendship with their colleagues and others?

Most men will be courteous to their subordinates and female colleagues at work but would be so rude to their wives at home.

deols: satisfaction.

I still wonder why scholars emphasise how the wife should be satisfied with what the husband can provide without emphasising that he takes her the way she is and allow her carry out her duties to the best of her abilities.


The world will change when men are brought up by women who teach them to respect women. I always use my family as an example. I would be surprised if any of my siblings disrespects women and I could get same from mdsock's posts.

If you have women you are proud of, that you appreciate in your family, you would want to marry someone you can as well respect, that would not be below par with the ones you know and you would more likely treat her with respect.

I have always known that the life people have lived, the people they have known, where they come from etc are deciding factors when choosing their spouses, their relationship with people, outlook on life and their over all life quality.

The Quran will Guide but all of these play roles.

I agree with you. Most men DON'T respect women and it shows in all their dealings with each other. Most men frown at the idea of women being equal with them and I wonder:

Are people just rude to others bacause they are equals?

Don't men relate with their close men friends well?

Don't they compromise in their friendship with their colleagues and others?

Most men will be courteous to their subordinates and female colleagues at work but would be so rude to their wives at home.

deols: satisfaction.

I still wonder why scholars emphasise how the wife should be satisfied with what the husband can provide without emphasising that he takes her the way she is and allow her carry out her duties to the best of her abilities.


The world will change when men are brought up by women who teach them to respect women. I always use my family as an example. I would be surprised if any of my siblings disrespects women and I could get same from mdsock's posts.

If you have women you are proud of, that you appreciate in your family, you would want to marry someone you can as well respect, that would not be below par with the ones you know and you would more likely treat her with respect.

I have always known that the life people have lived, the people they have known, where they come from etc are deciding factors when choosing their spouses, their relationship with people, outlook on life and their over all life quality.

The Quran will Guide but all of these play roles.

I agree with you. Most men DON'T respect women and it shows in all their dealings with each other. Most men frown at the idea of women being equal with them and I wonder:

Are people just rude to others bacause they are equals?

Don't men relate with their close men friends well?

Don't they compromise in their friendship with their colleagues and others?

Most men will be courteous to their subordinates and female colleagues at work but would be so rude to their wives at home.

deols: satisfaction.

I still wonder why scholars emphasise how the wife should be satisfied with what the husband can provide without emphasising that he takes her the way she is and allow her carry out her duties to the best of her abilities.


The world will change when men are brought up by women who teach them to respect women. I always use my family as an example. I would be surprised if any of my siblings disrespects women and I could get same from mdsock's posts.

If you have women you are proud of, that you appreciate in your family, you would want to marry someone you can as well respect, that would not be below par with the ones you know and you would more likely treat her with respect.

I have always known that the life people have lived, the people they have known, where they come from etc are deciding factors when choosing their spouses, their relationship with people, outlook on life and their over all life quality.

The Quran will Guide but all of these play roles.

I agree with you. Most men DON'T respect women and it shows in all their dealings with each other. Most men frown at the idea of women being equal with them and I wonder:

Are people just rude to others bacause they are equals?

Don't men relate with their close men friends well?

Don't they compromise in their friendship with their colleagues and others?

Most men will be courteous to their subordinates and female colleagues at work but would be so rude to their wives at home.

deols: during the treaty of udaybiyyah, a very trying moment for the prophet and his people,the best decision he made was after he sought his wife, Umm Salama's opinion.

a sissy would have asked her to shut up, even if she wanted to state her mind, because her doing so was him 'submitting'to her which would be unmanly and not what the Quran commands.


someone said laws are made for men and not men for laws.



@bukatyne, I came back k

Welcome

Most men (Christian, Muslim, Pagan, Traditionalist, Atheist etc.)don't realize that when they love their wives unconditionally and esteem her above themselves, their wives would do everything to please them and make them happy.

When a wife knows her husband considers her in all his suggestions and he tables it down, the wife would support and if she has any input, she does so lovingly and there is peace in their homes.

Oluwaadajo:
Your ignorance seemed to have helped you to miss the point of Chastity.

It’s not about pregnancy but about holiness which I guess is a Greek word to many people like you.

It doesn’t matter how many men you sleep with. It’s about not going to church and trying to deceive the priests that you are holy when you know you are not. You can deceive yourself but not God. Why deceive innocent people too?

Niger people . They love sin soo much.

please what is a "finacee" . Keep sinning and expect the Grace of God to abound in your life. It won’t happen.


There is no controversy with this issue. It’s simple. Take you pregnancy to another place and get married in your "white dress". There are many alternatives if you are turned down by a church that has high moral standards that people like you struggle to cope with.

I guess a woman pregnants herself. Naija people are filled with sin and Hypocrisy

pak: I was trying to read it but it was a bit difficult without the paragraphs, hence my comments.


I appreciate your taking the criticism in good faith though, its a rare trait amongst Nlanders

Thanks. I will paragraph and punctuate it so you can read.

Balkan: This rubbish! Please it does not happen in Igbo land. Its a shame for any man to do it. Just like a woman eating on the same plate with the husband. That is why thngs are bad today.

It's a shame for a man to cook for his wife? To eat on the same plate with her I pray non of my female relatives come near your dwelling.

AMEN

deols: I am fine. how are you too?
I didnt run. there was just too many people speaking my mind.I didnt see a reason to continue.

@op, I see so many Nigerians display intelligence,writing on blogs etc without much to show for it. someone else displays flesh and or sell gossips and boom, is in money.

a lot needs to be done, if Nija must be better.

I am splendid, thanks.
We all like glamour. Beauty appeals to our eyes that's why a guy or girl will be naturally drawn to a beautiful person over an ugly one. The 'worldly' people are wiser than the 'godly' ones and have better packaging. The godly ones should learn to seize opportunities, brand themselves in nice packages and position themselves properly.

torhuke: Lasu Staff nur/pry school.
Ojo High School Ojo Lagos (jss1-jss2)
Govt colege Ikorodu (jss3-ss1)
St Peters Unity Secondary School akure (ss1 again-ss3)
University of jos (diploma not completed)
Kogi State University Anyigba kogi state.
Nigeria Law School bwari, abuja.

Hi, You went to my primary school. I grew up in Agric