₦airaland Forum

seyigiggle: this looks like childish thread to me.
firstly those women/ladies making noise here are Christian.
who decides marriage in the first place, is it the man or the woman?

to the married women, don't your parents ask if they should collect the bride price or whatever, don't they tell you never to come back to their house when trouble arises? and much more.
why will they subject you to this interrogations before accepting anything from the intending groom.

there is no civilization with the scripture.
the reason why i prefer a Muslim woman, they are the most submissive women i have ever come across. why? they know that their men have the right to have at maximum 4 wives and can even divorce at will. for this they try to please their men

If you don't understand a thread, it's best you stay clear from it.

mkpakana odogwu: Hope u are reading this ;DHope u are reading this

Hi, it's not for women alone. It's for women and men.

Kzinne: Other countries are talking about the first female astronaut- u're all here blabbing

Don't despise little beginnings. A time is coming that we will have female astronauts. Till then, let's celebrate our Aisha Umar, The 1st female driver in FCT.

HumbledbYGrace: I so need advice but Iam afraid to share my story here, Iam already judged and it hurts me more when people just throw insults without backup evidence

Dear, don't be afraid, just share. I know you will get good advice here. If you have been following this thread, you will know the posters' advise to follow.

dasparrow: Don't mind them. It is Nigerian women I feel sorry for. After suffering to carry their sons 9 months in the womb and endangering their lives in the labor room to bring them into the world, these same sons now grow up and become so hateful of women. Its a mystery really. Thank God my kids will not be growing up in that hateful chauvinist country called Nigeria.

Dear Dasparrow, the problem is with the women themselves. They failed to bring their sons and brothers up properly.

[quote author=fresh_dude]We could likewise say that a genuinely submissive wife makes a good husband? The command is to love for the man and submit for the woman. Neither is dependent on the other. Love your wife because you should despite her shortcomings, also submit to your husband his failings notwithstanding. Any fool can submit to a loving husband it requires very little effort.
Besides why marry someone who possess 'ungenuine' love for you, what are you looking for?[/quote]Hi fresh - dude. A man should love a woman b/4 proposing to her normally but we know abnormal things happen. As for the order, men are called the head after the Pattern of Christ. Christ loved us and while we were yet sinners He died for us. In essence, Christ loved b/4 expecting our submission. A man is to lead his home in love and lay down examples of how the home should be. Imagine a child and a servant; the former is loved and obeys the parents to make them happy while the latter obeys his/her master to 'earn' their love. That;s the difference btw a woman submitting to a loving husband and her submitting to earn her husband's love.

Virgin Finder: Women deciding to keep their virginity before marriage will definitely lead to more men being chaste and eager to get married and settle down.

Any man that cannot be chaste will have to opt for a wh.ore. Prostitution (an old but dirty profession) and prosti.tutes exist for such men and not virgins.

I was with a lady (indoors) yesterday and I'd have slept with her if she had allowed me.I made advances o.

I didn't want to quote your posts but I saw this: You can boldly say you made advances to a woman you are NOT married to and have nothing in common with and you think you deserve a virgin for marriage? We must be reading different Bibles.

As to your other post, saying woman have acute amnesia et al doesn't help buttress your points so no need typing it.

DailyNews: The only advice I have for u ladies here is this:

Try as possible as u can to practice most of the things u teach and share here pls. Dnt be surprised....goodluck, and pls separate urselves from the irrelevant discussions on this forum

Hi Dailynews, this is very true. I have learnt remembered recently to state my points, have one or two back and forth and move on. My opinion doesn't stop you from doing what you want to do and vice versa so why should I waste previous time arguing back and forth? Like apostle Paul says... 'Don't get involved in ignorant foolish arguements...' 2Tim 2: 23. He actually wrote that statemnet 3x in that chapter V14, v16 and v23. Have a splendid night rest.

packaging: Hello house, can anyone pls tell me practical examples of sins that can be committed against the holy spirit that does not merit forgiveness?

1. When you lie against the Holy Spirit i.e. saying He told you something when He didn't
2. Attributing the work of the Holy Spirit to the devil

Others in the house can help wih more.

[quote author=wazobia_for_u]Can you plz support this fact with the holy Bible?

Always open to learn[/quote]Matthew 12: 31 - 32

Kennedyiheme: Obowummi Wheres D Dicipline In D Guy Dat Goes To Skool Nd Bcom A Cultist?..dude U Are Offkey Abeg

@Kennedyiheme You have brought a topic to NL, not everybody will agree with you and npt everyone who agrees with you will use the same language you do. Don't castigate those who don't agree with you and understand the positions of posters so you don't misquote or 'misreply' a poster. Thanks.

Kennedyiheme: You Spend At Least 5yrs in school plus nysc, and yet when u get a job they pay u peanuts, you are worth more than that.you sit in a office for like 8hours, like spendin ur whole life in a office? think pls,you have a talent that will make u great.......

Op, I understand your point but talent is not necessarily better tha education. They compliment each other. Like the popular saying, 'the difference between boli and plantain chips is packaging.' Education finetunes your talents and brings you out to the world. Wole Soyinka can be said to be a good narrator and you will agree with me that he might not be so popular if he was narrating his stories instead of writting. It's a pity that a lot of us might never discover our talents and run the rat race all our lives. Raw talent is not enough. Imagine I like to motivate youths, what better platform do I have than to become a teacher or have a youth foundation? How would I achieve this without education? If I had the gift of organizing parties, how would I be an event planner without some form of education? I don't think education is the problem; the jobs we do to make a living are. Even though 2Face dropped out of school, I'm sure the brief period he spent in school helped shaped his outlook to life and in essence his music.

This is a very insightful and practical write up.

brosss: Number 1 definitely scores the point............ I for one know, the more lo<3e you make to your wife/husband, reduces your libido for away games...... Like I said, wife/husband...not guys/babes.
Don't know if anyone have tried this but I discovered that sex could be very great after quarels with your spouse. Don't give a cleu, in d middle of the quarel, grab ur spouse like ur life depends on it and hit the point without mercy....
HmmmM.....

This your post is very funny and reminded of something I read on facebook. There is this page Truly Faithful' owned by a couple on FB and they are doing a wonderful job. The hubby was discussing a topic and said one day he was having an arguement with his wife and they were both raising thier voices at each other an the Holy Spirit told the man to start hugging his wife and he obeyed. The wife kept on talking but the tempo was redcuing and after a short while she stopped.

visionbiafra: Point of correction, Christians are the richest people in the world: Carlos Slim Helu, Bill Gates, Roman Abramovich, Bernard Arnault to name, but a few. The most powerful people in the world are also Christians: Barack Obama, the Pope, Queen Elizabeth, Dilma Russef, David Cameron, Hillary Clinton to name, but a few.

Dear, do you know the definition of a christian? A non muslim doesn't automatically translate to a christian. Do they try to honor God with their lives?

prairie: sorry o, but that isnt true

@Prairie: he is 100% correct. We practice a form of religion that has no life. That's why a born again would still have problems in the midst of 'Christians'.

Osyxcel: Y ar people callin' dis idea silly....it might sound ridiculous, but at d same time have far reachin' effects....

Come to think of dis, if dere is a virgin out dere who sees this, dis might encourage her 2 kip d virginity, nt 'cos of d car, but 'cos of d fact that she as a virgin is appreciated, and dat ppl stil hold virginity in high esteem....dis might go a long way in reducin' spread of STDs, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, school drop-outs, motherless babies, and probably, rate of divorce....

However, I maintain dat virginity is not wat makes a virtuous woman....rather it's her actions, character, and attitude (to family, work, people nd responsibility) dat makes a woman virtuous.

On the flip side, was the husband a virgin? I think that might have made the whole stuff more interesting. Until the society is balanced, we are wasting time with the status of a woman's virginity. Afteral, a woman doesn't disflower herself.

Men and women should endeavour to keep their virginity before marriage.

Virgin Finder: That is not necessary!

Virginity is a feminine virtue.
It has always been so from the bible times and so it will always be.

Its the feminists that are turning issues on the head.

Virginity is NOT a feminine virtue. I don't know how you read your Bible. God said 'Marriage is honourable with bed undefiled. But whoremongers and adulterers, He will judge' Heb 13:4. Stop misleading people. That verse never specified the sex. He expects purity from men and women.

temi4fash: baba sumtims is not abt knwin wat dai want or not... Sumtimes alot of dem r just scared.. Abt a lot of things especially if dai come frm a home where dere modas went thru hell... Dai dont want to repeat d same mistakes dere modas made...cos d truth every family has its own oo.. As ma mama will say marriage is a black market its only wen u av bought it u actually begin to realise whether u made gud bargain or not n d bad thing is dat d market is not returnable

But me i perfectly believe in prayers wen if comes to makin decisions dat can make or mar u for life n marriage is no 1 cos u neva neva can tell....

@temi4fash, you are a very insightful person. most men don'y understand that a lot of ladies are really scared of marriage because of what their mothers went through and it's worse because if they don't marry, they are seen as outcasts and failures. If they eventually marry and the man treats them like poo, they should be grateful they are married as some of their age mates are not married.

temi4fash: baba sumtims is not abt knwin wat dai want or not... Sumtimes alot of dem r just scared.. Abt a lot of things especially if dai come frm a home where dere modas went thru hell... Dai dont want to repeat d same mistakes dere modas made...cos d truth every family has its own oo.. As ma mama will say marriage is a black market its only wen u av bought it u actually begin to realise whether u made gud bargain or not n d bad thing is dat d market is not returnable

But me i perfectly believe in prayers wen if comes to makin decisions dat can make or mar u for life n marriage is no 1 cos u neva neva can tell....

@temi4fash, you are a very insightful person. most men don'y understand that a lot of ladies are really scared of marriage because of what their mothers went through and it's worse because if they don't marry, they are seen as outcasts and failures. If they eventually marry and the man treats them like poo, they should be grateful they are married as some of their age mates are not married.

@Carmiedoll: I don't konw which post to quote, Lol! I was referring specifically to the guy talking about money and all. As a matter of fact, i respect you more because of this story. I like women who know what they want out of life and pursue earnestly. Many a woman would have swallowed the guy's proposal and come to NL to disturb our peace after two yeras. Like I say, Marriage is not a do or die affair; It's not a status symbol. One should only get married when he/she has seen a person he or she loves and is loved in return. Someone you can both your future with. Someone you can key into his or her visions. The age a person finds it is another topic entirely.

nne3870: I know this couple that have been married for 17years and for long in our fellowship they keep winning best couple of the year. I wonder how they do it.
I guess is genuine love in progress....
Wanna be married for that long, but the thing is am impatient and quick to get angry.
Best of luck married people

identifying your weakness is a step in the right direction. Try to understand why people do certain things and you will be slower to get annoyed. Some people do some things not because they hate you but it's their way of life. Also make sure you marry a man who genuinely loves you because he will understand you are human and not perfect. He will not do things to intentionally annoy you and while he is adapting, YOU MUST BE ADJUSTING and one day, you will just look back and say 'woaw, I have come a long way.' Most importantly, pray to God. He will restore patience and peace to you. Goodluck

This just shows how morally bankrupt our campuses have become. Imagine celebrating club owners and aristos! There are key Performance Indicators and sadly OP, wealth is NOT one of them for a university undergraduate. If these students don't have good grades, then you have just compiled the list of the failures of UNILAG. Later, people will scream that the youth of today are impatient; want to make it now; are willing to do anything to make money etc. When last has a list for the most brilliant, courageous, decent, honest, impacting students compiled? When last was decency and uprightness celebrated in our society? We need to go back to the basics.

Witty07: What about a woman that wants to marry and already has an issue with submission. Do you think she will find it to submit because she has already crafted a mind set for herself?

When a man loves a woman genuiuely, the woman submits (loves the man in return). I agree that most women have problems with submission and that's because of the way it's interpreted. When a man notices his woman has problems with submission, he can assure her that they are in a partnership and he doesn't seek to control her. I'm sure she would soften gradually till she 's submissive except there is something wrong.

biolabee: hmmmmmm.. true but not all the time

Some pple have issues with their spouse but are good providers to their kids
I know someone who does this exactly.. no form of spousal support which i do not agree but he does the best for his kid
However the op has made up her mind and just needed a sounding board

And what would such a father pass on to his kids? If he was bad to his kids, they would grow up and determine not to be like their father. The kid you are referring to will adopt his/her father as his/her role model and become a very bad spouse except if they are exposed to other loving families.

biolabee: Op since you have already ruled out any form of reconciliation maybe you should hear the plans he has for the child.

@biolabee,I understand it'sgood the family unit is complete and all BUT a bitter home does far more harm than good to the children. It amazes me when women claim to stay in abusive marriages because of their kids. they don't know they are ruining the life of those kids that's why the kids turn out to be bitter and hardened in future. That's why some people look cool on the surface but are volcanos waiting to erupt underneath. Her child MIGHT be better off without the father. It's rare for a bad spouse to make a good parent though there are expections. One important quality of a good father/mother is treating his/her spouse with genuiue love and affection.

RollingFella: @ferhyntorlah, i tend to agree with you. However, the mordern man needs a re-orinetation on how they view the modern woman. They need to acknowledge that the modern woman have come of age in the scheme of things in our modern world. Times have changed and as such,the modern man needs to change his orientation about women. I strongly believe that if men begin to see women as being in the same team with sole purpose of working towards same goal,the issue of divorce, separation and beating of women could be drastically reduced. Typical african men have inflated egos (probably because of the old african culture,not too sure though)but have to be open minded to the changes of the modern world and its women and be prepared to learn,listen and love.

@RollingFella,+10,000 likes for your post. I pray you marry agood woman if you are not married. One reason our men have over inflated egos is because of we women. As mothers, sisters etc how do we train our sons and brothers? A lot of guys don't do any house chore at home so why should they do chores when they marry? A lot of mothers don't see anything wrong in their sons having numerous galfriends and all sorts. A lot of boys are not taught humility, meekness and kindness at home. In a typical african home, a girl child is always corrected with 'is this this how do will this and that to your husband?' She is trained for a man to pluck in future. Now, how many boys are corrected in that manner? When a boy child is in control, his mother laughs 'yes, i have a man' not knowing she is ruining the happiness of a woman in future. Let women train their sons properly and the problem of over inflated ego in our men would reduce by 80%

Michky: From your post, you made it clear that it is no one's business what happens in the home of a relative (remember that you didn't add any exceptions whatsoever). According to you: We all have boundaries which i agree to an extent. But you now ask me why i compare washing undies to killing husband. Do you even know what you're talking about? Besides, if boundaries exist, then even if husband and wife kill themselves, its no one's business if i am to go by you boundary-philosophy. Girl, please think before your next post.

My dear, take this advice first. I have stated my opinion and you have stated yours. In conlusion, run your home as you deem fit and I will run mine as I deem fit. Thanks. Have a nice day.

kagel: To me this is the only thing i understands about valentine every day in my own way.

This is beautiful. Permission to copy to somewhere else

Michky: At this point, i dont believe you are fit for this type of argument. Perhaps, something a little more elementary would do. Just imagine, someone said she would throw away the bucket if she finds her brother washing wife's undies and the best you could think of saying is: is it her business? Wow. So if a wife attempts to take a husband's life, no one should interfere. Right? Well, i hope you know that men are also being killed by women in marriages these days. Lets hope one of your brothers dont end up as victims. Here's my advice to you Bukatyne, try to find a visionary man and give him all the support you can. Dont ask questions, dont make comments, just do as you're told. I think you'll make matters worse if you do otherwise.

So you compare washing undies or not to wanting to kill the husband? A little understanding will do you a lot of good. As I have always said, everyman to his own so why are you giving yourself an headache on how I want to live my life or marriage? Please keep your advice to yourself.

Michky: At this point, i dont believe you are fit for this type of argument. Perhaps, something a little more elementary would do. Just imagine, someone said she would throw away the bucket if she finds her brother washing wife's undies and the best you could think of saying is: is it her business? Wow. So if a wife attempts to take a husband's life, no one should interfere. Right? Well, i hope you know that men are also being killed by women in marriages these days. Lets hope one of your brothers dont end up as victims. Here's my advice to you Bukatyne, try to find a visionary man and give him all the support you can. Dont ask questions, dont make comments, just do as you're told. I think you'll make matters worse if you do otherwise.

So you compare washing undies or not to wanting to kill the husband? A little understanding will do you a lot of good. As I have always said, everyman to his own so why are you giving yourself an headache on how I want to live my life or marriage? Please keep your advice to yourself.

Michky: You seem to understand my stand point. Divorce is definitely going to be inexistent in your to-be marriage. But from the stubborn reactions of the self-acclaimed whitey and the other dumb one; its as if i've been speaking plutonian since. I dont get them atall. Note: Bukatyne, the dumb there isnt an insult. It is a fact. So, its best you dont take offence.

If I take offence to what a faceless nameless NL username says to me then I am truly dumb.