₦airaland Forum

moremi2008 sounds like a tool. Just because your life and career isn't satisfactory doesn't mean you have a pass to carry out your frustration on others.

@OP, it's your life. while I will not suggest that you quit school, study something that you are relatively passionate about or that you are skilled at so that you will have some free time to pursue your passions. school then will be your back-up. It is always good to have a back-up plan if your main plan doesn't work or takes too long to work out.
and when I said you should try part time employment if your parents kick you out, i'm also including self-employment as a category of employment. If you want to be successful without conforming to societal pressure, then i'm sure you must have the resourcefulness or entrepreneurial skills to sustain yourself.

what a funny topic

as for me, it's english.

I think on these matters we can learn from our past history. the slave traders were selling the future of our continent to obtain shiny pieces of metal, technology and alcohol from europeans. Are our leaders doing the same in their dealings with the west and China?
are we embracing the west at the expense of our birthright?

and whoever mentioned reverence for elderly as a backward thing. how then do you explain Asia's success. they are more respectful of elders than we are!
besides, most of the dictators in Africa assumed their positions in their 20s and 30s claiming they were youths bringing change. of course they became power drunk and have grown old in those positions of power.
I'm sorry but I don't think respect for elderly explains any backwardness. In fact, we need the respect to keep our society in order. The average age in most places in Africa is 19yrs!!!! Europe and western world on the other hand, the average age is 45!!! (country-data.com) they have the advantage of maturity and a plethora of elderly folks that can be taken for granted. we don't have elders in abundance like westerners do.

simple facts like these are some of the basis for our cultural reasoning and practices. and part of what destroyed us was that we incorporated many western practices when they did not fit into the framework of our societal structure.

the cultural destruction is still taking place as we speak.

this is what happens when you apply a bandage over a gunshot wound.

I do it frequently. That's the joy of being a woman. one day I can go out with makeup and the next day, I can go out without makeup. it's fun.
The women I pity are those who have become slaves to their face powder and mascara. those who cannot be caught dead without make-up on.

wonderful thread that should be on the front page!!

sooner or later married women will also be going about chasing young men. na wa

I think OP is speaking from experience.
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

that changes when they become more mature and sensible but sometimes it's too late. mental maturity often doesn't correlate with age.

Take charge of your own life and don't let other people decide it for you. not even your parents.

you could take a part time job to sustain yourself or live with friends for the time being.
Or maybe hide your aspirations from your parents. Lie to them that you are studying to be a doctor and work on your dreams behind their back.

this thread is just ridiculous.

woman just gave birth to baby and still recovering. the husband is throwing her left and right like basketball because husband's sister was accused of finishing meat in the pot.
na wa for dat kain marriage. OP I really have no words for you except that I offer my condolences. You feel unprotected? pele. you chose the wrong husband. Next time, marry a man who loves you.

^ speak for yourself.
if your wife's brother came to your home and decide to start taking your car out for a ride without your permission. or decides to sleep on your bed without your permission. how would you react?
And, that's not even the main issue. The main issue is that the dundee of a husband reacted to the point of physically abusing his wife over the incident!

try to be reasonable here.
if I were the OP. I would totally lose respect for that so called wuss of a husband. I encourage her to leave that home for them until the sister in law leaves. and definitely bring her brother into the house and see how the husband likes it.

God forbid i'll let any in-law live with me unless I get along perfectly with them. and even so, they shouldn't be around any longer than 3 weeks! I think these are important topics couples ought to discuss even before tying the knot.

and does anybody wonder why it's always the husband's family that comes with a haughty sense of entitlement?

this is one of the more sensible threads on nairaland.

Nigeria's problem is poverty, not tribalism.
poverty is what causes people to fight and to be antagonistic toward each other over scarce resources. ex oil,land, govt funds, emigration etc
in fact, if we break up things will more likely get worse rather than get better!!
also, new or dormant lines of division that haven't resurfaced before will suddenly spring up... and then what?

For all those thinking Nigeria's problems will magically disappear if we break-up, read this article:


Sudan declares war on South Sudan
After South Sudan seizes Heglig oil fields, which both countries claim, Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir declares war. How can international community prevent a regional conflict?

By Scott Baldauf, Staff writer
posted April 19, 2012 at 11:46 am EDT

Less than a year after South Sudan gained its official independence, the new country is at war with its rival, Sudan.

Although relations between the two countries started out well, hostilities had been brewing almost from the very beginning, over how the two countries would share revenues from the sale of oil – most of which is now within South Sudan’s territory, and all of which must be transported through Sudan’s oil pipelines to foreign markets. The final spark, though, appears to have been over the borders between the two countries. South Sudan had long banked on receiving the Abyei region, including the oil fields nearby at Heglig. Last week, South Sudanese troops took Heglig by force, prompting Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir to proclaim a state of war.

While there is no formal declaration of war, Bashir told troops at a rally that they would be marching to Juba, South Sudan's capital.

"Heglig isn't the end, it is the beginning,” President Bashir was quoted by the Wall Street Journal as saying on a Thursday visit to South Kordofan state, where Sudan is facing a separatist rebellion by Nuba Mountain militants. “And we shall go all the way to Juba."

This is no mere fight between siblings over an inheritance.

South Sudan is resource rich and has assiduously cultivated friendships with its southern neighbors, Uganda and Kenya. South Sudan maintains close military and trade ties with Uganda’s leader, Yoweri Museveni, and it has also proposed to build a new oil pipeline to the sea at the Kenyan port of Lamu. South Sudan has also been rumored to support the Darfur rebel group Justice and Equality Movement (JEM). And Time magazine this week reported witnessing JEM fighters in Heglig alongside members of South Sudan’s own Sudanese People’s Liberation Army troops.

Sudan’s President Bashir, meanwhile, is increasingly isolated. He faces an arrest warrant from the International Criminal Court in The Hague for war crimes and genocide during the Darfur insurgency. And he is struggling to pay the costs of a bloated government and security structure even as he loses 80 percent of the oil revenues he once had when South Sudan was just a region in his country.

It was once thought that Bashir would recognize the increasing weakness of his bargaining position, and that he would eventually come to the negotiating table, willing to compromise. But with his troops taking a drubbing in South Kordofan and Heglig, and with his own future in question as an accused war criminal, Bashir may have decided that war is his only option.

Bashir may also be hoping to win some sympathy from Islamists, from whom his National Congress Party has always drawn heavy support.

On Thursday, Bashir described the fight against South Sudan to be a “jihad” or holy struggle. It’s a word that may be intended to stiffen the backs of his own army, the vast majority of whom are Muslims, or it may be a call for help from Muslims worldwide. Many Muslims consider jihad to be a collective effort, where any Muslim country under threat must be defended by any faithful Muslim who is capable of fighting on its behalf.

More quietly, Sudan may also draw on support from some of its larger trade partners, including China. According to Africa Confidential, a respected journal, a trio of UN experts found evidence that Chinese ammunition has made its way to pro-Khartoum militias in the Darfur region. The trio’s report was rejected by the UN Secretary General’s office, but the experts simply sent the report on to the UN Security Council. If the evidence proves true, it could indicate a covert violation of UN weapons embargo against a state that is accused of launching an ethnic cleansing and genocide campaign against several tribes in the Darfur region.

China’s state-owned oil companies are part of a consortium that has exploration contracts along both sides of the Sudan-South Sudan border.

What we are witnessing now, therefore, could be the beginning of a wider conflict, one that draws in South Sudan’s friendly neighbors such as Uganda and Kenya on one hand, and that draws in Chinese military hardware, a disparate collection of Islamist volunteers for Sudan, along with all the remaining resources that Khartoum can muster.

All-out war is not inevitable. But if it truly starts, this is not likely to end well.

wow. lots of illiterate, bush boys on this thread.
if you want her to bleed by force by fire. then why not have s.ex with her while she's menstruating?
You definitely won't be disappointed as there will be blood!!

A husband pushing or beating his wife because his younger sister "reported" her. what kind of rubbish is that.
women are suffering in Nigeria. chei!!

That one can never happen in my family. My mother will first put pepper in all her orifices before going on to throw her out of the house. Them no born man pikin to try such with my mom.
OP, maybe you are too soft!!! time for you to develop some tough skin and put your foot on the ground. If your husband wants to be a cowardly wuss, let him be. I fault you for marrying him. but you need to show your sis-in-law that you will not tolerate rubbish in your house. let her go and do what she likes in her own/husband's house.

Makeup is meant to enhance your natural look. Think of it like fashionable clothes and accessories.
Some people just don't know how to apply it moderately. They overdo it and it ends up decreasing their natural beauty rather than enhancing it.
but when a girl has really good make up on, most guys fall for it. just like wonder-bras.

If I were in your shoes, the first thing on my mind will be achieving financial independence for yourself and your kids so that when that breaking point comes when you have to leave, you will have a place to turn to. Many women are stuck and trapped in bad marriages because they cannot fend for themselves so they stay with alcoholic and abusive men like yours. Don't let that happen to you.
Start building a savings account and biko, try to concentrate at work.

if he doesn't change, pls leave. It's for your own good.
and you don't have to get a divorce. just get a separation. There are TONS of divorced separated couples out there. They still bear Mr and Mrs but they live separate worlds. get a divorce only when you feel comfortable. you never know, after a trial separation, you may want to get back together.

hahhaha love this thread!!
odumchi you really get time for your hand oh. well done

but why are majority of your caricatures limited to tribalism section?
also, ileke and natasha's are cool.but kobojunkie and ms chima's seem rather sexist to me. both are about how they "scare men"

to make up for it,you must draw very compromising caricatures of 190, Mr Cork and MrBrownJay --our resident woman wrappers . I just hope you know these posters. if not, you have a few days to research their profiles.

do not disappoint me, my dear odumchi

This is a very stupid thread.
go and marry a pastor's daughter if you are that obsessed with "good family"

this marriage thing for women is a paradox.
Most women will certainly be ok with waiting a while before settling down. But it really is the child-bearing aspect that makes women desperate. One reaches a certain age and it dawns on you that you are at your prime for fertility.

queensmith: i swear jews are rich because they got restitution from the holocaust? seriously i've missed alot!

hindu's are forbidden intermarriages yet most of them are poor? hmm racism is not good for the thinking. Many people only marry thier brothers and sisters and that does not make thier families rich.

The whole theory in my opinion is bs!

Did you go to school at all?
I usually don't like to bash people but you need to open a book once in a while dearie.
I am in a state of shock that someone could live in the western world and not know a thing about Jewish history or caste system in India.
let's just hope you didn't swear that one on your mother's life.

There are quite few reasons why a virgin won't bleed on their first night:

---not all women are born with hymen.

--- some women don't bleed due to lots of pre-intimacy and lubrication. pain will also be very minimal if the woman is very comfortable, relaxed and well lubricated.

--- The thickness/elasticity and perforation of hymen vary from woman to woman. some have really thick hymen that sometimes can take several sex encounters to fully break. some have very thinner hymen that could break just from a heavy menstruation or exercise like biking, doing splits (whether on purpose or by accident) etc

--- some have highly elastic hymen that never breaks!! remains intact even through pregnancy. of course doctors have to break it or it breaks on its own after birth. you can google this.

-- some women use tampons.

maybe nigerian men should be given a primer on behavior and etiquette before leaving to go to a foreign country. that was a very outrageous behavior on his part.
but he should have been tried by a court rather than beaten to death. no doubt his race probably played a role in his death.

nene1: @ mogunremi:

What is your definition of integrating into the community which you say UK Africans do unlike other minorities? What do those other minorities do that is diferent and who are those other minorities?

Don't mind her.lol She says she comes from Jewish family. But seems like she doesn't know the history of the Jewish race.
The reason the Jews were so successful is because of the same exact things you are talking about!
Their religious laws (Torah) forbade intermarriage for centuries. They make their success and kept it within their community. that's why others including germans and americans hated them with a passion. The Jews were extremely successful!
of course, they are no longer as influential as they were in the past because they have assimilated and blend in with the whites for the most part.
even this guy explains it http://factoru..com/2011/02/intermarriage-divorce-and-great-jewish.html that intermarriage leads to a transfer of wealth.
that's why the richest and most powerful (the like of Rothschild and other Jewish magnates) generally refuse to intermarry because they keep their wealth among themselves that way. but it is only black that the richest are actually more likely to intermarry. isn't that a strange reverse of the norm?
Imagine an African country like Senegal where there has never been a black first lady because all their presidents marry white women. How can anyone find that normal and not see that there is a problem there.

no one is saying that intermarriage is bad. but when an unnaturally high number of successful blacks are intermarrying then that's a problem. what success is left to stay in the black community? how many successful Lebanese and Asians in Nigeria do you see intermarrying with Nigerians? isn't that how they keep their wealth and success within their group?

I like the Malcolm X video by the way. very straightforward and honest. but of course, many of us will forever remain in denial.

I'm not surprised. She is the ultimate Perez Hilton of Nigeria. Her blog is filled with trashy gossip entertainment.
of course, that sort of thing attracts traffic and comments.

igbo2011: The official Pan-African language is KiSwahili. It is spoken all over east Africa. I don't feel "inferior" at all.

I hope our language doesn't die, we will be like the indigenous people of South America. Their language is almost gone.

lol. Swahili (East Africa) is not an indigenous African language. It's a mix of Arab, western and indigenous languages kinda like an equivalent of pidgin English spoken all over West Africa.
all people I know who speak swahili also have a native language (whether they can speak their native language or not is another question).

at your second point: well, the real indigenous people of South America are almost gone. They have died or intermarried into extinction so it is natural that their language will die with them.