₦airaland Forum

Lalasticlala mynd44 seun Dominque

They are all entrepreneurs. They hammer on winning souls when it really meant winning new tithe-and-offering candidates.

Why does tithe and offering have many branches? First seed? Children offering? Sunday school offering? Deliverance package? Bazzar? Harvest? First offering? Second offering? Mass offering? Offering for elderly person? Givers Never Lack Time?

Haba! Na so Jesus do?

E come bi like say na offering I come this life come do.

Little wonders a church sacked its pastor not bringing returns on investment.

In Catholic, people go dey inside church dey bid who go donate pass! Is it a competition?

Pastor dey compel you to ask God for protection but police dey escort am for back!

Pastor dey say givers never Lack but e no dey give you. So e wan lack?

Pastor go collect from you and ask you to pray to God when you need.

Harvest time. Pastor go dey fry your chicken, you mumu pro max go dey drink garri.

Pastors go dey share your tithes and offering dey use am dey sponsor their kids and their house project. You dey ask God when!


By the way, all of them preach hellfire to instill fear...which is not even biblical.

Everybody wan go heaven but nobody know wetin dem go do there.


So, I got sense!

God will be surprised at who sent some pastors!


Remove tithes and offering from religion. Some people wey say God call dem go say na missed call.

Emotionalbeing:

Honey..

Nazacent:
If you check this man verywell, i can bet since he started his ministry he has never won a soul.

All of them, which one dey win soul? Una dey help them win tithe and offering committee.

Aje, pastor dey reason you to pray to God for protection but e dey waka with security.

Reason am.

Promzy99:
Reading in between d line of ur comment, u somehow believe in the existance of magic. If magic is said 2 be 4rm d dark world, why don't u think MIRACLE cud exist 4rm d opposite side, that is from God ?

I am saying what we see everyday is magic. No powers were removed from the devil, aje.

Of course, God has powers to empower miracles.

God works directly. He doesn't need sb to say tototoyota rashidi yekini yamaha kawa susuki then cast and bind! You need to study the organisation very well to know they fake things.

How pastor go comot anointing everybody dey fall but cameraman and big men dey stand?

It means nothing.

Eat good food, sleep in time, avoid being paranoid, and enjoy peace.

Offpoint1:
It's not able to take you because it isn't your time, when your death time isn't astronomically align NOTHING on earth can kill you, not even a bullet through your brain.

But nature has away of giving us snippet into the future.

Taking about time, where did they write that everyone has a time to die?

Na wa for una sha

Everything has a near-death probability.

No tribe favours cheating! No religion favours cheating!

My own is that Seun could endeavour to add new features. The forum has metamorphosed to more than a mere employment branch, it is now a national identity.

Following.. iyaebe..come and give this uncle direction.

Ok bro, here's a thing. The human immune system does most of the works attributed to clergymen.

More so, there is no way to differentiate magic from miracles so let's call it a day rather than offending anyone.

Well, aje, as a romantic man, I enjoy moments in a zoo. I would always find a tree bench to sit and reminisce with my lady. You know, a date talk could happen anywhere...with the beautiful landscape of wildlife around. It's epic.

The hyperactivity with these zookeepers when they see a prominent person tho! Just look how that one is showing them swamp. Is swamp a new thing in Nigeria? Is Nigeria not filled with swamps and end processes of gully erosions? Sb will say it's crocodiles now.

By the way, I refuse to comment on those security personnels with hands akimbo. Men, see beautiful children! They scent like looted taxes.

Randy100:
Not in Nigeria. Nobody has been convicted of that.

Yes because a lot of people didn't understand the court of poison that made the sentence. Sadly, they died before they could imagine.

lilvicky68:

For your mind now you made a point??

What a pointless point..

As in eh, I don read that post like twelve times. Panmi mixed with akamu no good o

Oluwa burna

Everyone is imperfect! People only overexpect much from them.

Money wey I dey see for news.

Foodqueen:
Ya right, can you I just did.

Her mom passed yesterday and she has refuse to eat anything. Her father and two women came to beg me to help and I gladly did. I even told them I will always be ready to help. The man couldn't say I word but was teary all thru. I am fulfilled.
He even offered money as a thank you but I declined

Can you

Thank you for this!

Fahdiga:
This is Africa. Nothing like such

Maybe you are bereft of some spousal conducts tho.

Fahdiga:
Baba imagine watching your wife UnCloth and sleeping beside you yet your hand no go touch the cookie jar

Baba, lol, forcefully doing it will bring more harm than good. Remember, rape does not become irrelevant in marriage! If it is not consensual, it is rape! You will be jailed and treated a rapist! Peace always wins. What's the use of having sth by force you no go enjoy las las? No bi juju?


In this eleventh hour, a simple “babe..baby..you are still angry? Stop snubbing me naw. Ok ok, about what happened the other time..yeah, I must say I was very angry and overreacted..but you know you really also made me angry sha.” (Try teasing...lol, of course, she will leave-me-alone you. Don't give up, throw some bubbles of Shakespeare's sonnets..don't just make it 14). “Babe..we are bigger than this naw. Okay, to show I value our peace than being right, I take the responsibility, I am sorry.” (Tease again...and tease...until the leave-me-alone becomes as weak as Nigerian’s economy...and it surely will). Every normal wife will welcome peace especially if the husband kills the pride and apologize. The problem is that many men would rather die than apologize!

Let's embrace peace.

Pride doesn't do it!

Stop waiting for the first person to come and make it up. What if the other person too have vowed not to? Take the initiative! It doesn't make you a loser! It makes you mature! No bi because of uncle conji you go remember rites. She has her rites too!

You are welcome.

Fahdiga:
Lest I forget, there's nothing like rape in marriage

To eat delicious poison don dey hungry you baa?

Oga, it will not remove any hair from your body to stop being puffed up with pride, apologize for your wrong, and enjoy peace!

Is it a military regime?

Your whole body offend person dey keep malice but your odogwu dey form emissary.

By the way, I see you are seeing cheating as an alternative! It is wrong! Cheating is not among your options!

Ndi cast and bind. Another problem we have in NIgeria.

Use the reward buy another two na. Why mah this guy go dint en reputation like that.

How you guys gorge on this bedazzle me. Like I cannot eat it merely seeing the camouflage inside my plate...unless sb skinned it and served me untold (and that was how I ate it the first and last time I did).


I won't lie. The delicacy inside that plate looks delicious. Una come step am down with mmanyi ngwo! Ewwwwwh! Unu nọ n'alaeze ooo!


BTW, how did you guys mah even catch the lalasticlala?

They died. Only John died a natural one.

Magnoliaa:
HOW did you become one?

I have always loved writing. Discovering a way to trade my skills for some wallet citizens was a plus.

lilvicky68:
1) Do you think if I have something doing I will be here?? Mtchewww..

2)It's like you don't know that I've worked as a mad man before.. don't hire me first and see..

3)I can be unpredictable..

4)how much is your company worth?? Give me 5% of it..

5)I've already started like this...

Lol. I bin dey wait for you to post.