₦airaland Forum

Wey the massive?

chrispratt:
Well to an extent a good bed (mattress) can help you sleep better, all other things being equal

Why will you want to equate all other things except good matress? Brother peace of mind determines good rest. If all other thing like make dem dey greater than, less than or equal to.

I don't go crazy over all these cos even when i get such money i won't lavish it on stuffs like a room that won't give me 30 out of 24 hours sleep per day. A good bed/bedroom does not determine good rest or sleep.

OP, YAKUBU is a noun which means - anyone who misses a goal or an opportunity.
Yakubu's miss is a reference miss. No other miss is comparable to that.

tobianodino:
but u no like Pmb cos him b hausa
see ur nose like lyk idumota suya

sey na you be my hating secretary?
Your mouth like Lekki kilishi

Only new members of NCAN will come here to check names.
But we already know how the name will look like even without checking.

Bestofralph:
I use jik/hypo and retarder

thanks bro, whats a retardant and do you brush mesh while washing off?

onismate:
photo below...

thanks for your tutorial.
How do you wash mesh off emulsion when done?

One of Lai Mohammed's masquerades spotted in lagos doing Industrial Training at PHCN.

What are we to call this? And they said it has same feel as real boobs

Job Description

Crazy Factory Background

Crazy-Factory.com is the world’s largest online piercing store. Our company was founded 10 years ago and is continually growing. We sell 17.000+ products worldwide.

To expand and implement our current projects we are expanding our IT team at our headquarters in Thailand Bangkok. If you think you have what it takes to work with an international team on the biggest piercing online shop in the world, see specs below!

Projects

We have exciting projects lined up:

Shop redesign

Expanding our current ERP

More Community Options

User Designs (+Voting)
Blog
Achievements
Style coach

Custom Shop Designs (Metal vs Gothic vs Pop vs Unicorn…)

Automation of our daily factory processes

New mobile App

“Product Configurator” (customization)

API Design & Implementation

Several Apps for extended Services and broader audience

Challenges

Around 17.000+ products
+ different sizes
+ different colors
+ different styles
A single product can have up to 34.463 variations

For example:
https://www.crazy-factory.com/en-US/p/Body-Jewelry/Labrets/XINLBPJD/Logo-Disc-Labret
35 languages (more coming soon)

Complex ERP System

Learn something new EVERY day

Find and implement strategies for high-volume traffic

Extend SEO for organic growth

There is a right solution for every problem, we need YOU to find and execute it

Technologies

PHP5/7

TypeScript

HTML5

CSS3 (Twitter Bootstrap, OOCSS, BEM)

MySQL

ElasticSearch

JavaScript

jQuery

js

Git

C# (ASP.NET Core)

Aurelia for Apps

Phalcon for PHP-API

Entity framework for C# API

Brain – very old technology, everybody is born with it, but not all people can use it effectively
We are promoting

Agile development

Behavior Driven Development (BDD)/ Test Driven Development (TDD)

OOP

Scrum

Best practices for a high QoC

The usage of the best available tools for each problem

We are moving

Not now, but around August 2017 our company will move from Bangkok to Bang Sa-Re. This area is quieter and more rural than bangkok, but none of the less beautiful and a great place to settle down. If you ever wanted to built a house next to a beautiful beach ... THIS is your chance!

Take a look at the area here: https:///maps/GNzecd5YaTw

Bangkok is only 90 minutes away from Bang Sa-Re.

And many beautiful islands just moved a lot closer to your work place. Quickly visit Koh Samet or
Koh Chang.

Please feel free to ask us any questions you have about Thailand, Bangkok and Bang Sa-re.

[size=16pt]Skills & Requirements[/size]

About you

You are fluent in at least 2 programming languages and able to adapt to new technologies quickly. Working with shop systems and creating great user experiences in a team are challenges you look forward to.

You like to follow best practices to ensure the quality of your code and allow the work in bigger teams.

Your English is fluent, maybe you speak other languages and you want to be part of an international team.

You have an up to date CV and some published code for us to review.

A BS or Masters in Computer Science or a related field is recommended but not necessary.

Open positions

Full Stack

Front End Guru

DevOps

While we are mainly looking to hire Full Stack developers. You can also convince us with your Frontend or DevOps skills.

Hiring process

Please send your job application to: dev@crazy-factory.com . We would like to see ...

… who you are

… what you do

… your CV

We will review your application.

We will send you a test to verify your skills.

We will review your tests.

It’s time to meet you! Depending on your location by Skype or in person.

You must be what we are looking for! We will bring you to Bangkok, find a place for you to stay and welcome you in our company.

A three month probation (while working for your full salary) is required and we will pay return air tickets in full.

[size=16pt]About Crazy-Factory[/size]

Working for Crazy Factory

Welcome to the family! We are a friendly company with offices in Germany, Switzerland and Thailand. Our staff comes from Germany, Thailand, Belgium, Russia, the Netherlands, Spain, Portugal, Finland, Sweden, Italy, Nepal and South Africa. We are easy going folk and enjoy our flat hierarchy. Every door is always open and people like to joke around while still working seriously.

Working for us comes with many perks:

Enjoy the benefits of an international competitive salary while living in Thailand. The cost of living is relatively low compared to Europe or the US, so you can enjoy a comfortable lifestyle or set aside money for an early retirement fund (or a beer fund).

We are a growing, healthy company! Hard work is rewarded! Each December you can enjoy a bonus salary, as high as your monthly salary after a year of employment at Crazy.

Enjoy a delicious free lunch during the week. Sit in our beautiful garden with lots of friends (or (forever) alone at your desk) and enjoy a choice of Thai-, Western- and/or Vegetarian cuisine. The menu changes every day and we will always try to add something new. There is also always a choice of salads and fruits.

Our coffee corner is always open! Enjoy your free coffee, coke, water, tea, mama soup and or energy drink!

After your trial phase we guarantee you permanent employment if you qualify.

We prefer to work with the newest hardware and tech.

We have reasonable working hours (no night shifts!)

Sponsored Visa

Work with an open minded team with flat hierarchies.

If you work hard, you deserve a good holiday! So enjoy your 38 days of holiday each year! Please remember that there is no Christmas, Easter, New Year, Thanksgiving and <insert random holiday here> in Thailand. Organize your holiday and enjoy traveling South East Asia or visit your family and friends back home.

Our friendly staff will always help you with your troubles in Thailand. Work Visa, new flat, new house, contracts for your internet or mobile service provider. You will never walk alone!

All colleagues are able to hold their drinks and we do enjoy our free time together.

Thailand

Living and working here is an adventure by itself. We highly recommend using your free time to travel this glorious country. Have a look at the wonderful beaches around Koh Chang, enjoy a cold beer at Koh Samet’s party beach, take a snorkeling trip around Koh Tao, enjoy the full moon party at Koh Pha-Ngan, climb the cliffs around Railay Beach, explore the jungle around Khao Sok, discover the natural beauty around Chiang Mai, explore the vibrant nightlife of Bangkok, discover some of the best restaurants in the world and try the amazing street food. There is always something new to do and you will never be bored. Of course all nearby countries can be explored too! A flight to Hong Kong is as cheap as 100$. So enjoy your stay in Thailand and travel as much as you can.

If you are not into traveling, enjoy the low cost of living and find yourself a nice place to settle down.

A small 30m² flat in the middle of the city? Featuring a nice swimming pool, a gym and a pool billiard room? Set aside 400€ (450$) a month and enjoy your life.

A little house? Just outside the packed city? 3 stories high, 4 bathrooms, 4 large rooms, 1 kitchen, 1 gigantic living room. All together 150m². For only 500€ (560$) a month, you can store all the great gimmicks you will buy on your night market trips.

You don’t need all that fancy stuff? Who needs warm water? Well, save yourself some money! Enjoy your new 20m² room just outside the city. Everything in one simple room. There is even an AC included, so you won’t melt from the South East Asian heat. Set aside 80€ (90$) a month and you can use all your extra money to enjoy your life outside your flat or heavily invest in the stock market.

You like to eat? Well, you came to the right country!

You always wanted to try a fancy buffet in a 5 star hotel? All you can eat and all you can drink? Shrimps and Beef! Wine and Cocktails! Feel free to go all out! But set aside 40€ (45$) to enjoy this feast.

You like to explore the brilliant street food? Many different delicacies start at 0.50€! You can enjoy and experience a different meal every day. It is impossible to try them all!

Going to a normal restaurant will empty your pockets by 3€ to 10€ (3 to 11$).

You prefer fast food? No problem. McDonalds, Burger King and KFC deliver all around the city, 24/7, for just 1€ (1$).

peachesandroses:
The girl is fine. But miss this,miss that, everyday. These days good brains and innovations are hardly rewarded, its pageantry everywhere!


Meanwhile some minutes ago ,I heard a familiar sound ; the wailing sirens of the ambulance then I remembered today is Friday, someone's going back to mother earth...those people had no plans to die and nobody plans to die either,but check your life,is it right with God? After death comes a longer life ;eternity. Does Jesus look down on you and smile,or does he shed tears. Make peace with your creator and ask for the grace to live right and serve him. God is a loving father that always receives his children. Have a blessed weekend everyone.

wow...am really touched by this....Please i love the way u reason. Reply my pm please

lol

adewumiopeyemi:
celebrities and BABY MAMA BE LIKE 5 AND 6

teesugar:
Celebrities and baby mama ish !!!! They are like 5 and 6 that can never be separated.

I don't understand what you mean until you attach this....

lumzybo:
I give kudos to JW, u can't take it away from them. They no dey taya. They are so persistent and persuasive. If only the so-called real xtians culd adopt their styles n methods.

JW and house2house preaching are like.....

*add the image* y'all knw the image I'm taking abt.

wetin do your hand? add am na...you talk finish dey find who go waste MB to help you add image In fact, You and to manage MB are like

I will call my sister...She never picks her call on first try. At times until the tenth try

chuxyz:
Hmmmm...osogbo weed at work

You may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us. And the world will be as one - John Lennon

https://www.nairaland.com/3183522/7-employees-macmahon-kidnapped-calabar

The seven kidnapped workers of MacMahon Construction Company, a contracting firm in the Mfamosing plant of the United Cement Company of Nigeria Limited, were on Sunday released by their abductors with various degrees of injuries.

Our correspondent learnt that an undisclosed amount of money was paid as ransom by the company to secure the release of the workers consisting five foreign expatriates and two Nigerians.

Gunmen believed to be militants had last Wednesday kidnapped the expatriates who were on their way to the office and in the process killed the driver of one of the vehicles that conveyed the workers.

Following their kidnap, foreign expatriates had stopped going to work at the Mfamosing plant of UniCem for fear of being abducted.

A source, who disclosed the release of the kidnapped victims, said all the seven abducted workers were released with injuries.

The source, who said he could not fathom why they were all injured, noted that they have all been taken to the hospital for treatment.

“All the seven of them were released in the early hours of today with injuries. Nobody knows why they were injured but they are receiving medical attention,” he said.

Meanwhile, foreign workers had deserted the Mfamosing plant of UniCem as a result of the development.

An anonymous Nigerian worker in the company disclosed that the company has become a ghost community as even top management workers from the country have become scared of going work.

He said, “Since the kidnap, foreigners have stopped coming to work. Only the Nigerian workers have been consistent. Even as at Friday, some top management Nigerian workers did not come.

“I understand that the foreigners have all left Calabar for Lagos pending when the security situation will improve. You cannot imagine that those that were kidnapped had armed police escort. The armed men ran to safety first and they left the workers to their fate.”

But the Cross River State Security Adviser, Mr. Jude Ngaji, who confirmed the release of the abducted workers, said it was not true that they all sustained injuries.

“I can confirm that they have been released. I was with them a short while ago. It is only the two Nigerians that had injuries while one or two others have scars. They have all been treated and they have also had contacts with their families. Their spirits were high,” he said.

Source: http://www.signalng.com/kidnapped-expatriates-released-abductors-calabar/

Meanwhile, Macmahon CEO, Sy van Dyk commended the men for the courage they displayed throughout the ordeal.
“Our men have been through a traumatic experience, and we have mobilised medical and other support teams in Nigeria to provide immediate support.

“I also thank the men’s families for working so closely with the company during what has been an extremely difficult time for them as well. They too have endured an incredibly stressful experience,” he said.

“The families have all been informed of the successful release of the men and have had the opportunity to speak to their loved ones.

“Our team has worked around the clock in locations around the world to bring them home and I am so proud of the dedicated and professional work they have done.

“While we are relieved to be able to reunite the seven men with their loved ones, we are deeply saddened by the loss of the local driver Matthew Odok, who was fatally injured during the initial incident.”

Mr van Dyk praised the efforts of the Nigerian authorities which have worked closely with the company throughout the incident.

“We are very grateful for the professional support we have received from the authorities on the ground in Nigeria,” he said. “The assistance of local and federal agencies has been invaluable.”

He also praised the efforts of the Australian, New Zealand and South African authorities and the company’s security advisors who have supported Macmahon’s crisis management team since the men’s abduction on Wednesday. “This has been an incredible team effort and our highest priority now is to finish the job by continuing to work together to get our people back safely to their families and homes.

I will start by saying it’s not an obligation to celebrate your birthday. You can have a bash on the day you were born but then, you can do it on any other day too. Is that not so?

Let’s take a look at some pretty convincing reasons why birthdays shouldn’t be celebrated.

1. Birthdays mean you have to go on saying ‘Thank You’ all day long
Dozens of WhatsApp messages, phone calls, personal wishes and countless Facebook wall posts to respond with a ‘thank you.’ Gosh!
https://static.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0014.gif





2. You just have to smile all day, even if you hate faking it
https://static.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0023.gif





3. It means you will get gifts and be forced to think of a return gift
https://img.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0036.gif





4. When you will go out for dinner, the whole restaurant will look at you the moment friends start singing the birthday song
https://img.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0042.gif





5. Your cell phone will ring all day and you will have to pick up each and every call
Not forgetting those that will flash just to say happy birthday when you return the call.
https://img.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0074.gif





6. Our spouses/bae will be forced to rake up their brains for gift ideas
https://img.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0094.gif





7. You would have to think of new ways to answer – ‘How old are you now'
https://img.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0104.gif





8. Our young kids would want to give us gifts. And we would be paying
https://static.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0114.gif





9. Some nasty friend will not be able to resist the urge to say “You look young for your age”
https://static.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0125.gif





10. Come to think of it, we torture ourselves with the same routine every year
Dining out and getting drunk. Yes there are other ways of celebrating too, but do you want to handle that pressure?
https://img.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0133.gif





11. You can save a small fortune by skipping the celebrations. Instead, buy a good gift for yourself
Believe me your friends will be relieved too.
https://img.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image0142.gif






12. You have just completed one more revolution around the sun. And so what?
https://img.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image015.png





13. Why celebrate if you know a birthday means you are just nearing the final destination on earth! Silly.





14. If your birthday is important to you, it is to me too. But I free you of any obligation to acknowledge mine. Promise.
https://img.topyaps.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/image016.gif

See as she don use fat spoil everything

Even e name carry Bleep

This one don pass tear rubber... this one na tear iron

PenSniper:
Ants are attracted to honey. The SE is not a land flowing with milk and honey hence the exodus. The region is a barren land and the owners know this but will never acknowledge it because its shameful.

It is like calling America or Europe barren because it's people come to Africa to invest.

pulsa:
You guys don't have shame, you don't even realize that you are setting up our region as the only place you can ever be successful in life.
And don't tell me that crap about how it takes courage to venture out bla bla bla, as any idiot can see that you guys arecfucking refuges in our region running away from intense poverty and afflictions in your lands.
Yes you guys are fictitious Jews, and Southwest Nigeria the homeland for the sons and daughters of oduduwa is your fictitious promised land, but it is firstly and lastly our land and heritage, and in the words of ffk" we shall protect and keep it for ourselves alone"
p.s: if not for the entertaining Igbo chicks we would have long since sent you guys away.

All this epistle for the few words i said. Chai! na so e pain you reach?

Whathaveidone:
Y'all are shameless I swear. Before, you said you're only in Lagos now you've extended it to Ogun state

Which kind people be this tori olohun

If that meets you as a threat, am sorry it's just the fact so deal with it.

pulsa:
so you guys have started adding Ogun state now right.

If that meets you as a threat, am sorry it's just the fact so deal with it.

totit:
Let do away with this pathetically figures.
Note : what you put up there were merely assumption ain't they?

Now let me add to the Op above,and ofcourse note that they weren't pulled out of thin air neither were they assumption like what you put up there,right?

Here, I hope you will relax and understand where I am going this time?
This goes to all the doubting Thomas abag, I no fit shout

Here :


Sources
The Global Multidimensional Poverty Index by the U.N
http://www.dataforall.org/dashboard/ophi/index.php/


THIS IS FROM WORLD BANK
The NER also documents major differences in poverty and living standards by macro-region in Nigeria. While the South of Nigeria has relatively low poverty rates, ranging from 16% in the South West to 28.8% in the South East, poverty rates in the North West and North East are 45.9% and 50.2%, respectively. While the South of Nigeria (especially the South West) has experienced a strong positive dynamic in poverty reduction in recent years, the poverty rate in the North West has remained stagnant, while poverty has actually increased in the North East. Thus, disparities between the North (North West, North East) and South of Nigeria in poverty and living standards have increased. This is no doubt related to the recent security challenges in the Northern part of Nigeria. Explanatory factors for the high differences in living standards by geographical region are likely related to differences in the provision of public services and the degree of connectedness to larger markets.

NER MEANS NIGERIA ECONOMIC REPORT..maybe it is a Yoruba man that owns it...
http://www.worldbank.org/en/country/nigeria/publication/nigeria-economic-report-improved-economic-outlook-in-2014-and-prospects-for-continued-growth-look-good

THIS IS FROM NBS

Poverty was least dominant in the Southwest (49.8%), South-South (55.5%), and South-East regions (59.5%).
Read more: https://www.naij.com/401470-see-the-10-poorest-states-in-nigeria.html

Oh.....see him running away from the initial argument.
Oya go uproot JAMB regional statistic also make we see.
After that uproot another one on birth and death rate by region too.
I will also like to see regional statistics by WHO on industrial polution.
I thought you came with points.
Quote me if you want to discuss about the initial topic, else go sleep cos you lack points

Segadem:
Yeah I agree with u, but I know you will not agree with me that SW is the London of Nigeria

Yeah, I agree with you but i know you will not agree with me that London is the SW of England.

totit:
Hahahahahaha

You should include OYO too shouldn't you?
Guy you funny die no be small.

So, out of 5 states in the SE none couldn't beat or overpowered these 3 SW states? Ain't there millions of ibos in the north,SS et al as well?
Funny dude!
Atleast SE/ibos should prove us wrong by replicating what they claim or try to take glory for in the various states.
Charity, they say, begins at home..

I guess you didn't get my point.

Ok,let me leave you with this quote : You can't give what you don't have" without your states.

In summary, you are asking me that if you have 10naira, your brother has 12naira and I have 20naira, Mr. A has 6naira. I lend you and your brother 5naira each while A lends you and your brother 2 naira each. You now have 17naira, your brother 19naira, me 10naira and Mr. A 2naira. Why then am i not richer than either you or your brother?
Oya make una bring my money back see. kikikikikikikikiki

Let me leave you with that

lekjons:
and you're proud of this SMH!

what chased them from their states? civil-war, i guess

If e pain you, i go talk am again;

For every 1 Yoruba man in SE, there are 10,000 Igbo men in SW.