₦airaland Forum

dayokanu: You mean the US where cohabitation is common place, Where divorce is normal, Where GAYY unions are seen as Okay and even Marijuana has been legalised
All these things that normal theists would frown at are seen as ok

Marriage is still a norm in the US.
Many women are expected to be married at a certain age. Regardless of the cohabitation before marriage and what not, marriage is still something they cling to religiously.

dayokanu: He could also help her by gisting with her while she does the house work
If its too much hire a maid simple

Gisting is not assistance.
But why do you men think it is an abomination to do the work? Why not just assist instead of hiring a maid?

dayokanu: Just google it

http://www.self.com/blogs/flash/2012/08/survey-most-college-women-want.html

The US is a majorly theist country, pressure on women to marry is still there.

dayokanu: In most household before a professional is called you first call on the man to come look it up.
If your car fails to start the first person you call even before a mechanic is your husband to look at it.
if you hear sound downstairs before you call the cops the husband is the first person you call to go check it

Not really. I know how to fix my car (to a certain extent), and most of the time the car breaks down a long distance from home where the man cannot be called to check on it and a mechanic is called instead.
Look, I am not saying men should be domesticated or whatever, I am only saying that they should try to assist in the house and stop considering doing housework a taboo. Fine, traditionally women are meant to take care of the house, but that does not mean that the man should not do anything at all in the house even when his wife needs help.
He can still assist her with her work the same way she can assist him when he needs help with his 'manly' chores, she could help him do these mechanical or electrical stuff by maybe fetching the spanner of directing the flashlight at him when he does the electrical work in the dark.

dayokanu: I disagree the majority of the people are theists. Most are theist by birth but atheists by belief thats why majority of them think its ok to be openly GAYY and gayy people should get married
Which serious theist would support GAYY marriages, Legalize weed etc
Most Westerners don't see any big deal with cohabitation before marriage, living with BF, divorce etc Things regular theists would frown at

You know what? Since you mentioned that women desire marriage more in western countries that don't put pressure on women to get married, you should be specific and mention which western country and also mention which statistics show that women desire marriage more in these countries.

akino: I like ur approach not bc i am a man.with this approach i can do anytin except washing undies for my wife.In my home now, washing maching is faulty and i am thinking abt getting anoda one.I can use money to buy comfort for my wife but i am a bit lazy when it comes to doing d chores.I am a bit comfortable with cleaning of my toilet and birthroom but my wife begs me to this.I will do more because of ur pleading. Thank u chocolate

Are you serious?
Wow I am so happy! You just made my evening. Thank you so much.
Wow
God willing, you will never have cause to regret taking this decision.
More power to your elbow.

dayokanu: Its a division of roles in any family.
When growing up if you need to cut the grass, fix the car, do heavy lifting its the boys that get called up, When its cleaning and cooking its the women
Why do most women leave heavy work for the men to do, When theres electrical, mechanical work to be done at home mostly its the man, when you are asleep at night and hear sounds downstairs its the man that wakes up to go check wassup
Is it that the women look down on men as the beast of burden for doing such heavy lifting and energy sapping duties

@bold. In many households, men don't have the know-how to handle complicated electrical and mechanical work so a professional is called. Infact many people prefer to call an electrician for things like electrical installations because faulty electrical installatins could proove to be fatal.
Also, these things are stuff that come up once in a long while unlike cooking and cleaning and taking care of children that are an everyday affair.
Women are not typically as physically strong as men. Why do men expect them to do more work than their husbands?

Michky: Heavy stuff, bills, capital expenditure etc are meant for men. Kitchen cleaning etc. For women. So, you want me to leave my busy board meetings to cook for you abi? I marry a wife to bear me kids and take care of my home. If she can't, then the door is waiting.

You know what? Talk to your wife and find out which of the house work she would like you to do. I am not stating any chores specifically. I just want men to stop zeroing their minds to doing any housework at all.
Doing housework does not make one less of a man like some men think. There is no scientific finding supporting that theory

You speak like women should really be respected. You ediots steal like men do, kill like men do, lie like men etc. What is the guarantee that while am doing the dishes, another man is not doing your dish some where else.!

Now I see where the problem is coming from.
It seems you have heard a lot of bad things about women or you have had a lot of bad experiences with women. If the latter is the case then I offer my condolences on whatever happened between you and the lady(s).
But you are wrong about that statement in bold. There are good women and they should be respected, not all women are bad. And women don't steal or kill or lie like men do. Ok, maybe they lie like men do, but they don't steal and kill like men. Come on, let's be realistic.
Was ALUU4 carried out by women?
Majority of the news you read on this site about armed robbers and rapists and pedophilles do not say that women are the perpetrators of the crime. These things are mostly done by men.
Let's be realistic man,
Come on.

dayokanu: If the work gets too much how about getting a domestic help and everyone is happy

What I want to know is why many men consider doing housework an abomination.
Does this mean you look down on women for doing chores?

dayokanu: In the Western world, No one gets on womens back for not being married. No church or family bug them like they do in Nigeria yet they still desire marriage as a means of getting whatever they want from life

lol . Big lie. There is pressure on women in western countries to get married. Don't forget that majority of the people there are theists and marriage is something they are obligated to enter into by their religions, before they can have intimate relations or have kids.

Michky: Hey, stop bringing the word "IF" into Bible matters. Besides, What happened to the Bible verse that says Wifes obey they husbands. Missed that one? I know what you are. A manipulative feminist that won't stop until she gets what she wants. And do you know where you're gonna end up? Single again. Most people like you will end up marrying up to 10 different husbands in one lifetime.

Such bitterness.
Wetin I do you now?

But michky the Bible says you are supposed to love your wife. How will you love her and refuse to offer her any kind of help at the same time? Is that even possible?

Michky: You've gotten it all twisted. Woman is supposed to be helping MAN in marriage. Not the other way around.

dayokanu: How can you desire something more and claim the other party benefit more from it. The party you claim benefit more doesnt even desire it in most cases

In cultures where there is no pressure women still desire marriage more How about that. You dont know the life of a guy.

What culture is that? In what part of the world did you notice the statement in bold?

[quote author=Banku&Tilapia][s]Women by nature are nagging creatures becuz woteva u will do deh will complain. If u r out of job they will complain, if u r working hard they will say u don't get time for dem. If u r well endowed oh u r too big for me n if u r as small as the MODERATOR deh will say oh u don't satisfy me enuff. DON'T TEK WOMEN SERIOUS[/s].[/quote]Stop using what you noticed from your female relatives to classify all women.

sarutobie: If you cant cook without making a fuss about it get a househelp!! Stop harrasing us with this una talk..

It is better you assist instead of spending extra money on house helps. Times are hard.

[quote author=the_ripper]A subtle attempt at domesticating men. @OP, ur plans have failed. Helping a woman in the kitchen and house chores should b done at my own volition. I would get a house help for her if d lady feels burdened. Case closed.[/quote]Such fragile egos........ I shake my head in pity.

colly227: Can women stop complaining for once? Back in those days our mothers go to farm, do hard jobs then come back to cook with firewood we know all the stress in that, they have to pound yams then wash cloths with hands, fetching water was from the wells or they go some distance to fetch it.

Back in the day women were seen as mere posessions and they did not work jobs outside the home and they also had assistance from husbands when it came to farm work and cutting firewood.

Michky: Look, if i don't have the means to act as a man should, i won't get married in the first place. Knowing fully well that in marriage, certain demands are required.
And if by chance i lose my job during the marriage, i do not expect that it would be right for you to ask me to take up chores because you're the one temporarily paying the bills. I expect you to help me get back up and continue to do my duty as a man rather than demeaning me to such level as chores.

Chores are not demeaning. How do men like you even think?
So women are lesser human beings because they do chores?

Michky: Are you giving conditions for your marriage? If he won't do house work, you won't give him a dime. Right? I see your marriage heading for the walls soon. Guaranteed!

You've gotten it all twisted. Woman is supposed to be helping MAN in marriage. Not the other way around.

Later on you will turn around to claim that you are the head of the house. What do you think headship is all about? Youthink being head of house means relaxing and watching those you are in charge of face suffering because of you?
The Bible you follow that teaches you that you are the head of house also tells you that you are supposed to love your wife. If you love her, you will not make that statement in bold. You will not see marriage as a set up where the husband is not meant to help the wife with anything.

I have read a lot of interesting posts on this thread, posts from understanding men, from cavemen, from wise women and from women that don't know their value as human beings. I would have posted more but I was busy today.
One thing I got from the thread though is that many men still have a long way to go when it comes to respecting and appreciating their wives. A very long way. Also, a lot of men have very fragile and delicate egos. They have a mortal fear of being emasculated and that is why they stubbornly refuse to assist women even when they know deep in their hearts that they are supposed to.

jidegirl12: This Topic Againnn?

Jump am pass if you are tired of seeing it. It is not compulsory for you to read or contribute.

No need for plenty talk. All the men saying they can't assist with housework should also not expect any type of financial assistance from their wives. No matter how dire your need for money is and no matter how urgently money is needed in the house, you should never think of asking your wife for help since you have refused to help her out in the house.
See them making noise about how they go to work and earn money as if women don't also work.

jmoore: How many questions were in your post? You seem not to comprehend your own post. Maybe you forgot this line below

I did not forget what I wrote. Your link is about what society would be like without marriage. My topic title is who would lose/benefit more when marriage is no longer a thing.

fairygeh: @ OP.please tell them.Let them hear. The most annoying one is after all the stress,takng care of the kids without any help from them,cooking,house keepingetc.at night they would still wanna f*uck and all,

Yes o! And they expect you to look fresh and young inspite of the stress you are facing. If you start looking haggard and tired they complain and start looking at other women.

God help my husband if he tries that with me.

Take it easy . Na small small, don't drag or force him to work, politely ask him.

[quote author=~Bluetooth]Well don't know the kind of home y'all grow up but where I come from,my oldman keeps the family pride and that is enough of a housework to us.Doing dishes and scrubs only show a weak man who would rather please his partner to buy her favor.A man is gotta be a man not a wimp.
.[/quote]

clockwise: hmmm, @ op ur post is sumhw sensible to some and senseless to some. but the fact about me that i can never help with the house chores. olorun maje.

I hear. I hope it is also Ok if your wife refuses to give you money when you need it. When you need money for medical bills you can't afford or to fix your car or to get yourself out of some kind of trouble. I hope it is ok for your wife to refuse to give you money no matter how much you need it.

vanstanzy: Maybe, he has a SWOLLEN SCROTAL SACK and can't bend over to clean.

LMAO

vanstanzy: O Gosh! u are making my head swell with all this TITLES. Stop PATRONIZING ME WOMAN! and get straight to the point. Ok, i have heard u even before u spoke. To tell u how much i enjoyed ur letter, i "LIKED" u. That should be enough na, isn't it?

Abeg stop confusing my eyes with your font and different colors. I didn't ask for your 'like'. Just read the message and understand it.

mkpikpub: Men have their roles to play, leave them to concentrate.

What are men's roles? Going to work and coming back home again abi?

ebamma: Dear nigerian women una where wan make we follow do house work dey craze, una sabi how we dey suffer to make money to feed una and buy una blackberries,
Some of us are being insulted by our bosses everyday, but we have no choice cos we need the salary to feed una and buy una brazilian hair,
Wetin be una work sef, una dey spend una day gossipping and lazying about,some of una sef no sabi cook better food where we fit chop enjoy sef, na so so salt the full una soup,
If una want make we dey do the house chores then una must start working and become the breadwinners of the family, she who has ear let her hear

Women also contribute financially, abeg. Women assist men with breadwinning.

JallowBah: It`s not like all of the women LIKE cleaning either, you know.

I actually hate it. It is boring and I wish I did not have to do it, but I still do it, because it is needed.

Women are expected to compromise more when it comes to doing work like cleaning that since house work is regarded as women's work. Only few men would agree to do any considerable amount of cleaning in the house.

jmoore: angry? No, I am not
Unrelated comments? Definitely not,I make comments either for or against a topic.
I already gave my answer to the topic "Human society without marriage and we will be living like wild animals.">> https://www.nairaland.com/1191626/end-marriages#14285597
staying single forever will give you a firsthand experience on the answer you seek.

That link has nothing to do with this topic. I asked who benefits from marriage more, I didn't ask what society would be like without marriage.

jmoore: Why all these debates? Stay single forever if you don't want to get married

I never mentioned anything about not wanting to get married. Why the anger?
Because I said men benefit more from marriages?
Nairaland is a public forum where people with varying ideas and tastes visit. You are sure to find topics that you will not like as well as topics that you will like on this site. It is left to you to avoid whatever topic displeases you instead of making unrelated comments in them.

[quote author=Brand_new]I'm just not caught out for it. Kinda too menial though I do it once in a blue moon.[/quote]So menial jobs should be left to the inferior human beings like women abi?

I'd rather do more challenging things like the gardens, repairs, paint jobs e.t.c. Is there any problem with that?

If your wife is ok with it then no problem.