₦airaland Forum

Its annoying when Kanu goes back to west brom and comes back empty handed, yet when he comes home, he turns the game around even as a sub and wins the game for the country. (He's better on the bench in Nigeria) - How do we explain that to Robson?

When Yak nets almost 20 goals a season and comes home to shake his butt for Nigeria (Kanu's reverse), how do we explain that to Christian Chukwu?

When Del Piero nets all the goals in the world and his country are yet to see a replica of 94 Baggio, how do we explain that to Trappatoni?

Agree with me that Hakan Sukur was a flop in the last world cup and I do not know how to explain how Ibrahimovic delivered little to talk about. Not so many players prove their ability in both places, club and country.

My explanation for Nigerians is that most of our players play their hearts out for their club but for NFA - who cares? I dunno if this applies to other countries too but your country can't pay you as much as your club does and that's why most players retire from international football yet play for like 15 more years for their club (ASK BABAYARO )

if your eyes will make u sin, gourge it out, if it's your legs CUT EM OFF

Whatever cannot be done should be done but whatever CAN be done MUST be done.

Ladapsie, if this thing can be done, which i believe it can, then it MUST be done. I support you Jare. Keep the thread alive with updates.

It's over as Ghana and Italy make it to the round of 16.
Since 1990, Africa has never failed to present a Rep in the second round. Isn't that nice
'90 - Cameroon, 94 - Naija, 98 - Naija, 02 - Senegal, 06 - Ghana and Who knows?

More Women's Point System

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go out with a pal, -5
Who is happlily married, -4
Or is frightingly single, -7
And he drives an ML, -10
With a pesonalised licence plates(GR8 N BED), -15
You have a few beers, -9
You miss curfew by an hour and you dont call, -20
You get home at 3 am , -30
Smelling of booze and cheap cigars, -40
And not wearing any pants, -50
Is that a tattoo??, -200

HER NIGHT OUT
You stay at home while she goes out with her annoying friend from work, +5
She goes out with her annoying work rfiends and comes home late, +10
You wait up, +15
She goes out, comes home late and drunk, and you put her to bed, +20

A NIGHT AT HOME
You watch TV together, 0
You rent a movie, +2
It's SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you stay awake throughout, +5
It's SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you fall asleep, -1
It's SENSE & SENSIBILITY and you fall asleep and drool, -2

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie, +2
You take her to a movie she likes, +4
You take her to a movie you hate, +6
You take her to a movie you like, -2
It's called DeathCop 3, -3
You lied and said it was a foreign film abt orphans, -15

FLOWERS
You buy her flowers only when it's expected, 0
You buy her flowers as a surprise, just for the hell of it, +20
You give her wildflowers you ve actually picked yourself, +30
And she contracts Lyme disease, -25

Maria is a devout Catholic. (No condoms for her!)She gets married and has 17 children, and then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her second husband. She dies. At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin, looks up to the heavens and says,"At last, they're finally together." A man standing next to him asks, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean her and her FIRST husband, or her and her SECOND husband?" "No," the priest says politely, "I mean her LEGS."

A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked:
"why do u have your boobs on your back?"
The camel responded:
"what a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!"

A stranger was seated next to little Johny on the plane. Then the stranger turned to little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger,"What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK" said little Johnny."That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while the cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shi t?"

A stranger was seated next to little Johny on the plane. Then the stranger turned to little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger,"What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK" said little Johnny."That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while the cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know ****?"
Email: qallyn@yahoo.co.uk

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Ghana 2 - USA 1 (52nd minute)

This is going 2 be tough one as a wounded lion won't let go without a dangerous bite. I pray for Ghana O.

Haba Skid, you know that that was just a fluke, i guessed of course and i'm not sure i can make a correct guess. My guess was based on Holiday and the World cup, i believe with this achievement, member's will double in a speedy rate and that means we can talk of 40,000 by the 4th of August . Let's see.

A crumbling old church building needed remodeling, so, during his sermon, the preacher made an impassioned appeal looking directly at the richest man in town. At the end of the sermon, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000." Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood back up and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000." Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge."He sat down, and a larger chunk of plaster fell on his head. He stood up once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!" This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. (Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he will with me."

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was a notation "Genesis 3:10" ("And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked.".

hucarson:
Rijkaard offered Arsenal £50m for a 29 yr old Henry?
Please. stop mis-informing the public. The £50m u read about were just speculations and was never confirmed.
Henry has no 2nd hand value and no one will offer £50m for a commodity like that. Get that into your greasy heads.

And how much did chelsea pay for Old Shevy?

hucarson:
U reckon?
Henry must prove that to me in this on-going mundial that he is the best.
France should hold Henry responsible if they fail to make the second round because he would have constituted himself a national deception.
Thierry Henry cannot continue to deceive the whole populace of France every time he wears the blue shirt. This deception must stop.

Kezman, Milosevic & Drogba must be killed as well and if Sir Del Piero and Shevchenko or even Toni fail to meet expectation, they must face the firing squad too

Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"
"I've been circumcised.",the other replied.
"What's that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off?"
"My mom said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.
"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"

A woman and her little boy were walking through a park in Maseru and they pass two squirrels having sex. The little boy asks his mom, "Mommy, mommy, what are they doing?" The lady responded, "They are making a sandwich." Then they pass two dogs having sex and the little boy again asks what they were doing. His mother again replied they were making a sandwich. A couple of days later the little boy walks in on his mother and father and said "Mommy,Daddy, you must be making a sandwich because, Mommy has mayonnaise all over her mouth!!!"

Hope Xaint is not a shareware, where are you now? Still new to navigation, buzz anyone online okay?

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

@ Superman
I can see you are here primarily to make trouble, I don't have your time, just a word of advice. Watch the game with your eyes as well as your BRAIN!

Man-U are yet to win the premiership since they sold Beckham, i believe they made a big mistake, Real are yet to win a tr. I do not buy the opinion that Torres is better than RVN - how? If it is by likeness then i'd have a preference for Utaka or Osaze
Pls a good player is good, but let's not hype Torres coz i've seen on this forum where people say he is better than Henry and RVN put together

@ Oto
U are so damn funny and right. Whether you like it or not, by the time the world cup's over, this guy is back to 100s of thousands of pounds a week while you are still here bragging about players

I believe Wenger should be respected (PLS NOTE I AM NOT A GUNNER! - no Nigerian in your team, i'm notta Fan!) but the guy has a way of building a team out of nothing. I stand to be corrected, Walcott is the most expensive player in Arsenal since Henry came in. How much has Man-U, Newcastle, Liverpool and Chelsea spent and how well did their highly prized players deliver?
Now he has strikers in Walcott, Van Persie and Reyes at least for the future. No one can rubbish his passion for developing young players and turning them into world class players. Henry was a nobody back at Juventus you may say, but the same Henry murdered them in the just concluded Champs league, same with Real Madrid (Big names O). And don't forget he's good at freekicks too and he assists damn good too. In fact, a club's all time Highest Goal Scorer, moreso, Arsenal, cannot be gabbage. Who should shut up now? I guess its the wiser one - the bigger man.

When Viera left, everyone thought arsenal was gone. Rooney left Everton and they achieved so much without him. Owen thought he was leaving for greener pastures when Liverpool did the unbelievable. When a club depends so much on a player, chances are that they'll want to prove him wrong when he leaves - watch, coz if not the dutch league won't be selling their strikers yet we get as much as 38 goals from a single player in league games a year from them, yet names come up even if some leave. Nistelrooy, Kezman, Jan Klaas u know.

Let's keep our fingers crossed. I tell people and i'll say it again. My best player remains Michael Ballack. If you like yap him or buzz him, i'll always be his fan even if he messes up again. If a player is good i will admit he is. Henry is more than good, all he needs is drop the dirt off his shoulders and many will dove their hat!

Don't mind them, support Togo jare, at least its just a country away from your bf's.

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?" "Baptist." "Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?" "Jewish." "Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?"

St. Peter tells him, "Well the Catholics are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here."

Correct me if i'm wrong. There are two major tournaments in the world. The World Cup, and the Champions League (in order of viewership)
I don't want to waste too much time but who has anything to say about Del Piero's world cup goals record?

And it is really unfair not to include Heskey, Vassel,Christino and Jackal in the list of those hotter than Henry.

In fact, put a price tag on all of us including henry, separate henry, add the value of all of us put together and subtract my value (of course i'm not a footballer!) subtract the total from Henry's (not Henry's from the total) and you are sure the result will be a positive integer.

Let me pick the hot ones out of your list (Its my opinion):
Ruud (the most dangerous on your list) (I don't think the whole of Holland is hot anyway)
Pauleta (can prove himself anywhere, any day anytime but every player has his drought season)
Luca Toni (well well well, like Scilacci, starting to shine late in his career, his height is a major advantage)
Sheva (needs no introduction)
Adriano (powerful and agile, damn good too but had a disappointing season)

Robben is an attacking MF, pick Messi or Tevez instead.
Van Persie hotter than Henry? think of Rooney
Klose? Is that some sorta Bierhoff or what? Jan Koller? or height stuff? He's very good too okay.
And Torres. Hmnnn, let's leave that, I've heard someone say he's better than RVN, let's wait and see sha, and now again he's better than Henry. They said that of Reyes before, now they can't. Hmnn

going by records, Eto'o , Huntelaar, Boyd, i dey come

Management lessons.

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else, One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a $1000 dollars if you let me make love to you, but the girl said NO.

Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend, so she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for $2000 dollars, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down.

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the
boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes
the boyfriend calls and asks what happened,

She said "The bastard used coins"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.

Who's next, we have two already

Afeni, i'm glad you didn't take it as an insult, you know more action less talk, people are understanding and they know your pressing needs, top of which is the "FEMALE" factor. OMG! and be careful, What Nairaland has joined together, Let no man, no race, no CURRENCY, no WOMAN, put Asunder

Man, call a spade a spade, i'm sure you didn't see dat game or better still the highlights, all kanu needed was to push the ball in (without his hands) and it is my opinion (this is a forum man) that i'm yet to see a worse loss than THAT!

U can't compare the Kanu of 96 with Kanu of 2004/2005, lai lai. Why did you have to bring Lampard in? I don't want to talk about his wastefulness in the last game, and i'm not criticising any player here, I DO NOT CRITICISE PLAYERS! Neither do I appreciate you exalting a player who has nothing much to offer and downsizing one who has paid his dues. CALL A SPADE A SPADE.

And as for Lampard latching out at Wright and Lineker, Messi might as well latch out at Maradona and who else can kick Platini's as$? U of course

One more thing, I do not believe football is Arithmetic. My club is Boro and my Team is Spain. I can diss my players if they misbehave and if they play well they get commended ( I won't commend Birmingham lai lai). As for experts relying on data, you might as well prove yourself an expert by predicting trinidad and tobago winning the world cup.

Imanub:
nice @christino,

but germany won the cup '54, '74 and 1990

so look ---> 54 * 74 - 1990 = 2006

;-)

LoL, let's wait and see, just pray they don't meet Fabregas

The Lord is my Operating System, I shall not crash. He maketh me to boot normally without errors. He loads my routing table with cool links; he restored my path. He routed me to the server of righteousness, for His domain sake. Even though I browse through hackers’ sites, I will fear no attack, for he is my Firewall. Thy antivirus and Intrusion Detection/Prevention System, they comfort me. Thou preparest a link before me in the presence of time-outs; thou connected my links with fiber optics. Surely solid connection and replies shall follow me all the period of my pings. And I shall browse from the server of the Lord for ever and ever. Amen,

Well, sh*t happens. I gotta hit d road Rhod, c ya 2 moro. And u promised d boob shaker as well (can't wait 2 c it )

U don't mean it, why wuz he banned?